In this series of erotic one-shots, mares from across Equestria open up their diaries to a total stranger and reveal their deepest secrets - tales of love, passion, lust, and betrayal.
Page generated in 0.027 seconds
Total duration
978 users online
2,178,121 hits today, 2,064,738 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I don't know why, but this seems like mental manipulations.
First, the stallion's name is Spell and second, this all seems to have started when she looked into his eyes.
I'm probably wrong but this seems to me that Velvet was hypnotize and the mare in the mirror is her subconscious fighting the stallion's tampering.
As for the easter-egg, I don't know what it is.
5975708
Well, I can assure you that this was not my intention. Spellbind was just a convenient name fora unicorn that also works in the publishing business, which puts him in a position to have something to talk about with Velvet. (as I type this, I realize I did not specify Spell's job. #fail)
And I've always had a thing for pretty eyes. It's what stood out to me the first time I met my wife, so it's always been a 'go-to' thing for me when working on attraction angles. ;)
5975708 Ack, I forgot to respond to part of your question. Sorry about that.
So, you're right that the voice in her head is her self-conscience, but think of it more as that voice in your head that tells you a 100 times that what you're doing/about to do is a bad idea, yet you continue anyway.
5975941 Ha!
Glad you liked the chapter. :)
Plot twist: The entire chapter is the easter egg, because Spell is the likeness of 007 and 007 always gets the girl.
Or mare in this case.
"For England, James?"
You quoted the former 006, Alec Trevelyan, with the "pithy comment" line. Nice touch.
Really enjoyed this. You captured the agony and the ecstasy of an affair very well.
5977122 "No, for me." ;)
Winner! :)
This chapter was ugly and disgusting and awful and I really wish I hadn't read it, or even found this fic again. There's something to be said for the forbidden romance angle, but fetishizing infidelity and cheating like this just pushes all the wrong buttons with me for more reasons than I can put into words. Suffice to say, it did far more to piss me off than arouse me, which is pretty frustrating when the fic has been pretty lighthearted and positive so far and I remember really enjoying the first few chapters. Now I feel all dirty. The whole thing was just.....vile.
I favorited this fic to remind myself to keep up with it this time around, but now I'm kind of regretting it.
Sorry to sound so negative, but I needed to get it out.
--CG
5979613 I don't think Grand Moff was fetishizing the affair, at least not entirely. Velvet knows she's damned in the end, she knows what she's doing is wrong...
But sometimes what's wrong can feel so right.
As a man who has had thoughts of infidelity in the past, part of the allure is the wrongness of it.
Sex can be light hearted and fun (as you yourself a quite accomplished at writing) but it's important to see the dark side from time to time.
(For real; big fan. 'Her Majesty's Secret Service' is one of my favorite stories ever.)
5979935
Like I said, the forbidden love angle has its merits, but there's a line, and this is so far past the line that we can't even see the line anymore. The line is a dot to us.
But seriously, it was just far too jarring a shift from the lighthearted, largely positive stories this fic has consisted of so far. It was gut-wrenching and cruel, and as someone who, as you pointed out, is highly invested in the Twilight's Parents ship, it bothers me that the vast majority of fics about them prominently feature infidelity.
5979613 An occasional peek into the darker side of love (such as affairs) was always part of the plan for this fic. The original TV Series that I'm 'basing' this fic on was much the same. Light-hearted sex-ships in a 40 minute episode, but it too delved into the affair and infidelity angle from time to time. [in the show, the man behind Red Shoes, a very young Dave Duchovny, is seeking answers after he caught his own wife cheating]
Anyway, I hadn't planned for Velvet to be the subject of the infidelity here, but a bit of inspiration struck and I decided to roll with it. However, I'm sorry that it pushed the wrong buttons for you and was not an enjoyable entry. I I know I can't please everyone all the time, but I still feel bad when I let a reader down. :(
But, the good news is, the next chapter is back to the 'random clop affair' format that we've seen before - and there are Apples involved. ;) I do hope you'll stick with the fic though, and in the future, I might use the A/N to tag darker chapters up front, just so folks can skip it if they wish to up front.
Thanks again for your comment and I appreciate the readership. :)
-GMP
5979967 Shoot, that's right! You did 'Majesty's Secret Service'!
Well, now I feel doubly bad for letting a reader down. :( *hides in the corner*
5980374
Don't worry about it. Can't win 'em all.
The real difference between this and the original show, I think, is that those stories were truly anonymous; the viewer had no prior interaction with (or investment in) the characters, they were just vessels for exploring a kinky story. That's not the case with your fic, though. We know these ponies, and thus we all have certain various....expectations about them, so the stories, especially the darker ones, will have a more significant impact. And yeah, Twilight's parents are characters that I personally am more invested in than most people, so its more frustrating for me in particular when so many stories about them already involve cheating, and seeing another one here really kicked me in the teeth. Especially with the fact that there's no real resolution to give the reader closure on the problem. Even a Bad End would have probably been better than none.
I get similar reactions to Cadence/SA stories that involve breaking them up/cheating, actually. It really turns my stomach for some reason to see people take a couple explicitly shown to be in love and married, and rip them apart so they can be shipped with a more preferred character. And it's an even bigger peeve when it's with some faceless, characterless OC that I don't care about. So that probably lost you a few extra points.
I feel a little better now after having slept on it, and it's far from being the most anger-inducing fic I've ever read, but....yeah. Still wasn't a fan.
--CG
(If you really wanted to explore the darker, forbidden love angle, I'm still waiting on that Sparity 'older woman/really-young-almost TOO-young-guy taboo' idea. )
WHY DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO READ THIS?!
Holy FUCK, GMP. This was good. Haunting. Visceral. I'll have a longer exposition for you via e-mail later tomorrow, or this morning, but I'm honestly upset with myself for not having paid attention to this sooner.
5986573 And you should be upset!
Lol. Glad you liked it. :)
cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2014/03/JULES/Leonardo_DiCaprio/timeless-leo-dicaprio-django-unchained.gif
Goddamnit. I found it without needing a hint, too.
Wow. This actually... kinda... really hit me. It's hard not to imagine my own ex-fiance writing this confession letter. Um.
Next chapter, I guess.
After the mostly light-hearted content of previous chapters, this one felt really jarring. It was well written and definitely sobering. I almost want to write a chapter where Twilight and her dad find out. Yikes...
Overall, I thought it was good. But it wasn't my favorite.
This chapter made me sick.
Unfaved the story. Won't be reading any more. It just pressed all the wrong buttons.
Goodbye.
Not to worry. I found an effective antidote.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/338436/1/i-want-a-baby-night-light/and-i-want-to-make-it-now
I really don't understand the negative comments on this one, but then again I do enjoy some of the darker fiction (which was warned at the beginning of the chapter anyway, derp ).
Regardless, this was my favorite chapter so far, because this one seemed real. MLP fics in general have slightly goofy undertones most of the time because of the ridiculous magical talking animals. This chapter however, could certainly be taken more seriously and I almost forgot what it would visually look like. The characterization of Velvet in this one was spot on, well done!