SusieBeeca
Joined 19th May, 2012 ·
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Sweetie Belle is the best pony479 stories ·195 members
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This pleasantly made my skin crawl. I love fics based on dreams! How macabre.
Dat end line..! XD
Anyways, as disturbed as Rares is, I don't think it means Sweetie's a sociopath per se. Yes, she lacked the empathy to understand that she was painfully killing animals, but childhood is still a formative time.
On the other hand, yeah, that's creepy as heck and Fluttershy will never speak to her again.
Nicely done. The ending was perfect!
Excellent application of Vocabulary
i found this to be quite amusing in other words i love it so have a like and fave and i think im gonna ad this to my group
Goddammit I wanted this to be a series man! Can you make a sequel series to this? That would be wonderful if you did!
Fluttershy is going to go absolutely freaking berserk. Completely axe crazy.
Though this seems like a good deal for Equestria. Sweetie Belle comes off as a high functioning sociopath and will likely excel in any career she goes after. All for the price of a few squirrels and a lifetime of therapy.
Wow. I can't wait to read more!
This is actually remarkably tasteful. I'd have expected, with our fandom's tendencies, for SB to just start off with DT and SS or something. You get heaps of bonus points for making it squirrels and other animals. The story itself is really rather simple, but... it's beautiful. I really like it. Especially the detail on the organs. I don't know if you did research, and I can't be assed to check if it's all accurate, but it certainly looks so. Even the wham line at the end, which I think we could have done without, makes it better. I just find it a more enticing concept if such a dark idea is played around with in a completely reasonable manner, like it was up to that point. Sure, the ending did make it that bit more gross, but... it's still reasonable. Much better than I expected.
Although I really do think that Rarity would have been more mature. I mean, SB went out of her way to not make a mess, she even put sheets and everything, that alone should earn her (and you, for getting that part of her more or less better than some other people) bonus points. Even then, it's fine.
That end line... Poor Rarity, she's going to be scarred for life now.
This does make you wonder how Equestrian Doctors get their cutie marks though.
I like this! I am a forensic pathologist by trade so I know why rarity would react like this
of course, it pays, it works, people leave you alone, and I get to spend most of the day goofing off until someone dies!
WHEEEE!!!!
5 days without sleep!
Did you know that 1 out of a hundred people are phycopaths and litteraly unable to feel empathy. And actually a lot of them do become surgeons and docters. But those are considered functioning phycopaths, you probably know a phycopath right know and don't realize it, heck you may be one yourself yet never realized you were. How can you realize you lack what you never had?
At first I thought that Sweetie cut some other pony's cutie mark and sew it to her flank... But this is even better.
Btw, now I want to check if heart really bounces when dropped...
(I used to work in a lab with mice. I have quite a few stories to share...)
5203776
5203891
Thanks! I intended this to be a one-shot, though; not sure how a sequel would go. Any ideas?
5204461
Yup! Years ago I did some research on it, partly for a story, and partly out of curiosity; just as I suspected, I have met a few people who fit that description. Me, on the other hand---I'm more of an empath. I absorb the emotions of those around me. If someone else is sad, I get sad. If they're happy, I get happy. If they're horny... well, it doesn't always work
5203915
Thanks so much! The parts about the organs were partly my own experience (I had a job in a lab! I'm not a sociopath), partly what I've heard from others, and partly intuition. By the way, I'm not sure I understand what you meant here:
You think I could have done without, but... it made it better? Can you elaborate? I'm scratching my head.
5205385
It does and it doesn't. It improves the story in one way and takes away from it in the other. Should have worded it better.
Wow, this dark stuff is good.
10/10 For the end!
Well then...
That was disturbingly dark and I loved it!
5205385
I myself have done a bit of reasearch and have found that though I do have a alot phycopathic tendencies. And its not that I like hurting things or people's I just don't care about things half the time. Like for example one time I had to do a speach in front of about 1,500 people, I got up and dominated the stage simply because I didn't care. And this one time a friend of mine started to torture a bird (pulling out feathers cutting it ex.) I didn't care. I'm not sadistic and inflict pain on others for fun I just don't care. Odd the way some people think isn't it?
Okay... I'm going to cry in a corner now...
Dat end line...... To quote the Doctor, "EVERYBODY RUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!"
OY! I like it but your forgot one thing.
The smell, man! That wet, warm iron smell mixing with the smell of fresh feces and urine (especially if she's serious about the vivisection part - animals tend to lose control of their waste processes in life threatening situations).
EDIT: Add to that she ruptured the intestines and it gets kinda ... well, 'woody' isn't the smell I'd use to describe a squirrel's last meal. Maybe nutty? Plus the bile, of course ...
5208141
Ah, the smell! Of course! That would have made for a good paragraph.
I wanted to mention the critters losing bowel/bladder control, but I didn't want to reveal they were still alive til the end.
5209390
Oh yes, that's understandable. M Night Shamalamadingdong it up yo.
5209411
Yeah, I'm a sucker for those kinds of endings. (Even though MNS kind of jumped the shark...)
5205385 Alright ya i got a lot of ideas only a few for this though.
I will message my ideas to you that fine? Probaly will take some time as i decide to come up with some more ideas and i kinda am having writers block.
5209631
Sure, take your time!
5209673 Alright!
Ahaha, that punchline. Glorious. XD
5203534 depends on if this is in the pony.mov universe.
Funny how thin the line between sociopathy and science is.
That being said, when she started treating it like a science experiment, I stopped being offput by this story. The last line would raise flags, if she weren't young. Since she is, she just needs to be pointed towards ethical procedure, especially since she has ultimately noble goals.
Hopeful optimism aside, this could get pretty spoopy in a few years.
5207535 Save me a spot in that corner.
5204461 Spelled Psychopath, first of all.
Second, It has variations. One of my acquaintances is a Sociopath, for example. I luckily, fall under the Empath set, but that's a side effect of the other things in my brain that hardly decides to make sense. (Thanks for the Aspergers Syndrome, Agoraphobia, and Immunity to Electricity).
And for the story, oh that was just horrifically beautiful. She Vivisected a pregnant squirrel. In Rarity's home. Well, at least she laid out a tarp.
Ah, Sweetie Belle, looking to do your residency with Dr. Moreau I see!
Fortunately for Rarity, they good(?) Doctor lives very, very far away....
Darn it!
I thought for sure Sweetie Belle was going to dissect Opal!
Ah well, still a good read.
5211821 Will do...
I feel like slight inspiration was taken from the Auschwitz Angel of Death: Josef Mengele.
Would that be the case?
5213019
Ugh. I hadn't thought of that. Perhaps it was subconscious...?
Not bad at all.
Not really creepy or anything more or less a simple journey in exploration for the young Sweetie. It felt a bit rushed buy honestly, with it coming from sweetie belle it was like being in her thoughts.
Quite a unique experience.
5207196 I have some sociopatic tendencies, not too extreme, just lacking a sense of remorse. I do have something akin to a sense of remorse, but it is not subconscious and I actually have to think about it for it to work. I also know that I would have no problems killing somebody if I had what I would perceive as proper justification, if only because my self-imposed moral code (and sense of logic) would prevent me from killing someone without cause. I don't care about death, but I won't rush someone else to it unless I needed to. I might not fit into normal society on my own, but I am capable of adapting or coming up with ways to make it work.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
I was thinking Sweetie Belle as a mad surgeon just by looking at the logo before I even opened the story. But yea great short story - get some sequels going so start dreaming! Cuz I wanna see Fluttershy go bat crazy! :D
Oh this proves it., Sweetie Belle is best pony!
There must be more! This shouldn't be complete!
5216187 Frankenbelle!
There's an idea - Frankenbelle! - When Sweetie Belle turns crazy :D
Think of all the jobs you can do with a needle and thread for Sweetie Belle to do like a surgeon. I like the idea of taxidermy. Maybe she can be Fluttershy's assistant on taking care of sick animals when there are too many for Fluttershy to handle.
Maybe having short stories of where Sweetie Belle helps everypony out in someway and they are all disgusted or mad at what she's done despite her good intentions. Then trying to right everything, she might end up making it worse until another pony that wasn't involved has a real use for her. While she learns the real way to perform, back at ponyville, she saves somepony's life.
Just an idea here that might inspire you. Make it funny and stick with your writing style and keep dreaming some more! I'm thinking everypony here wants more! :D
Good luck
5218133
Wow, thanks! I can't promise anything, but that's a great idea!
You are free to use it as I have my ideas and focus on a full length pony animation that I'm working on currently.
I'm now scared of Sweetie Belle.