Scootaloo doesn't get to see her mother as often as she would like. So when Celestia announces a contest where the prize is the chance to be a Princess for a Day, Scootaloo sees it as an opportunity to make her mother notice her.
The idea for this fic was originally done by Matt11 (you can read his version Here), I asked if I could try my hand at his premise and he agreed, so here's what I came up with.
Prologue, Chapter 1 and 2 edited by RandomSomepony4357 and Nuki Mouse
Chapter 4 edited by This guy
Chapter 5, 6 and 7 edited by Notapony (Yes I know that this story has a lot of different editors)
Chapter 8 and 9 edited by TheGreatEater (The list keeps growing)
Cover art done by choedan-kal and posted with permission.
Chapters (10)
Them feels :(
It's cute, enough that I want to see where it will go. Writing-wise, it's passingly done; nothing glaringly wrong, just little things that I think are more a case of learning the craft.
Keep a-goin!
5225091 Woot Passingly done! Yeah I know this needs some work, but thanks for the comment.
I like it so far.
This is a real nice story you got going. Can't wait to see more.
5225567 Thanks
5225467 Thanks, since it was your idea I'm glad you approve of my handling.
Looks like an interesting start to your own take on Matt11's idea. Let's see where this goes.
5225055 Yeah. Single parents always have it rough.
5225467 As do I.
Great start! (Although it's spelt 'prologue' :) )
Wow, Scoots just can't catch a break. :(
LOL at Diamond Tiara's letter.
I enjoy how you write the sisters, a fun chapter and premise
Thumbs up , and you've got my attention , tough not yet a favorite of course .
Alternate side story where diamond tiara wins and rules Equestria with an iron fist please
Dammit. I didn't ask for these feels:(
5227402 That's actually a pretty funny idea. DT is accidentally announced as the winner, thus the princess are obligated to make her a princess under some obscure equestrian law, when she's princess she figures out a loophole to depose the other two princesses, and then proceeds to rule mercilessly.
Imprison all the Blank Flanks!
But your highness, most of the "blank flanks" are babies!
DID I BUCKIN STUTTER?! ALL THE BLANK FLANKS!
I'm not going to write it but someone should
5226551 Can't believe I missed that, fixed and thanks.
5227737 And then the babies stage a rebellion to avoid being imprisoned.
I like Celestia and Luna's teasing, but I'm sure Twilight and Cadence would stop them before they tried to get rid of each other. Unless this is in an AU where they aren't around?
5228044 It's not, but keep in mind that Cadence oversees the Crystal Empire in northern Equestria, and Twilight has her own castle in Ponyville. They don't call Canterlot home, and merely show up whenever it is required for them to be around.
5227914 It's kinda funnier if they don't. But anyways I'm not actually going to write this so have at it.
5228324 Hey, even babies have their limits. You're never too young to not want to go to prison.
5227737 hmm..... I may write that...... but not now I got my hands full atm
5228367 A rebellion of blank flanks (including babies) against Princess Diamond Tiara, who would win?
5228372 hehe most likely the blank flanks ha it be fun to type one of these days.
5228388 Outsmarted by a bunch of babies, even as a princess Diamond Tiara can't catch a break.
Change underlined text into nonitalics, or somthing to show it's not a part of the letter.
change indented paragraphs to fit the rest of the fic.
_____________
Writing on a tablet and have to make muliple posts since my tabby freezes after so much text. Still reading chapter though.
Break this massive paragraph into smaller chunks. It's way to blocky as is atm.
_____
I can't decide whether to be sad or intrigued by this fic. Good job on the fic so far. Also you need to fix your Ah's. ah, is an explaintory onomatapia. Ah is a strong I and is capped like you would do for I.
Page divider above this.
______________
Decent story so far.
Feedback? I know the PERFECT person to turn to...
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/247/e/f/pony_gordon_ramsay_in_celestia_micro_comic_by_steghost-d6l1l47.jpg
FEEL THAT! IT'S LIKE *ING RUBBER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?! YOU HAVE A BLOODY STOVE, DON'T YOU?! *ING USE IT THEN! *Insert long-winded Chef Ram Sea rant to under-qualified chef contestant*
(Personally, I would add just a dash more purple to it. Purple adds a LOT to stories, you know.
)
Not bad... On one wing, it feels like Luna's argument(s) is a little weak, but at the same time, at least you have Celestia balancing it out with reasons for why not.
5229120 If you're telling me it needs more Rarity, then good news, in my archive of stories that aren't quite ready to be released yet is a Rarity focused story. If you mean more twilight then I have no news for you, and if you just meant more purple things then I have no idea what your talking about. If you meant purple prose then I have bad news as I try to avoid that.
Scoots becomes a Princess!
Pinkie Pie: And that's how Equestria was un-made!
I take it you find the 'suddenly, an invasion!'-style fics as annoying as I do.
5229703 I was unaware it was a style, but yes, that plot seems annoying.
I want to see chapter 3 soon!
So far, your story gets the mustache seal of approval!
5231270 working on it, the
is my fav seal of approval along with the 
so thanks
Do you mean a large pile?
Overall, I like your story so far. Looking forward to the next chapter!
5232526 nope, I meant to imply that a pile is larger than a stack. I stand by it. Glad your enjoying it anyway.
5232551 Oh, okay. I was confused about that sentence. Sorry about that.
congrats on 100 likes
5226425 I know yhat feel.
5228402 It's like CODENAME Kids. Gah! It's been so long since I've seen that show D:
5233748 I know. That was a classic.
5233791 No. I mean my mom is a single parent. She has me, my brother, and sister.
5235272 I was replying to your comment about Codename Kids Next Door. Sorry if you got mixed up.
5236910 Oh... Shit. I loved that show. The rest of my family hated it though.
5237540 Why?
5237595 Fuck if I know. They hate just about every show I watch
That should be 'considerably.'
We're off to a bit of a slow start with these first three chapters, but I like the concept. I like the way you write Scoots in the Promises stories so I'll track this for now. I am interested to see where you're going with this.