Chapter Eight: Tea and Cream Puffs
Son of a bi—... Biscuit.
I don’t know what was in that tea (other than lemon grass), but it’s been a full two hours and twenty minutes from when Fluttershy left.
I am still feeling a little bit achy and sore. My nose has been periodically dripping and, since the last time I checked, my mind isn’t showing any signs that we’ve bought any return tickets to slumberland. All that, however, isn’t as bad as the other thing I am experiencing.
That long held bane of all sentient life. The true monster that can either dull the wit or lead to the most interesting if not pointless works of art ever. Just what is this jabberwock's name, I would imagine some imaginary audience member asking, (along with a ‘get on with it already!’)
Boredom.
And just why am I bored? The same reason that I get bored easily, because back on Earth we had comp—
“Shut it, brain,” I comment out loud, shoving my head under a pillow. “I know why we’re bored. You know why we’re bored. We all know why I’m bored: A lifetime, or several decades at least, of distractions and mental junk food. Of Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter feeds. Of gorging on Youtube videos and top ten lists and those fetting ‘clicker adventure’ games.”
Rolling over, I momentarily stare up at the ceiling. “So, how about instead of wasting all of our mental energy agonizing over why the fet we’re bored — for the umpteenth time — to the point of exhaustion, we actually do something about our boredom? You know, other than just putting off doing something about it?”
I push myself out from under the security of my comfy blanket and walk over to the nightstand next to the couch.
“Well, Dr. Heartbreak, seeing that you are such a professional at self diagnosis, what the fet do you prescribe?” I ask myself, raising a hoof to my chest and acting all... I don’t know. In character? Is the snarky patient a character? Pffft, whatever. Like I said before, boredom is a strange beast that can lead to creativity or stupidity, or in my case, both.
Coughing and giving a ‘uhrufferuhm!’ that you’d expect to come out of someone with a doctorate, I turn back to where I had been standing a few seconds ago. “Zhe cure to your boredom, H.B.?” I ask myself while rubbing my nose clean, before nudging a loose leaf notebook from its hiding spot among the other books. “Vhy, your boredom book, of course!”
Okay, it’s more like a sketchbook or notebook, really. Just a place to keep my doodles, little poems and ideas that aren’t too dangerous for Equestria. Chuckling at this description, I am half tempted to draw the outline of my hoof, or at the very least a gold imprint of my right hoof, hole and all, on the cover.
“Creative? Maybe,” I mutter, rolling my eyes at this idea and set it on the parlor table. “But hardly original. Alright, let’s see, I—” Suddenly, the cup that Fluttershy used for lemongrass tea catches my eye and my mouth feels cottony. “—I’m thirsty.” Alright, time to make my way to the kitchen... I guess.
Looking around, I brace myself to shun the stack of dishes I have left in the sink. It’s just a few bowls and plates, but it’s still a habit that refuses to die. After all, back when I was living alone? Dishes tended to be the thing I avoided due to how mom was always having me do them and—
“Ugh!” I groan, applying a hoof to my forehead. “Fetting fet fet, brain! We know, I hate doing dishes and I’ll do them later, Okay!?” I promise myself before looking around. “Now, enough with the inner monologue. How about getting something to drink so I can get back to that boredom book so you can just sit back and relax for the day already!?” My mind finally hushes itself. “Thank you. Now, where’s that oolong I bought...”
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Heartbreak finally sat down after the tedious chore of making tea. Due to the lack of functioning hooves, every aspect about the activity, from gathering the tea bags to filling the kettle and setting it to simmer, to even bringing out the sugarcubes and small plates was a labor unto itself.
Oh sure, she thought, carefully craning her neck forward so that the tea kettle’s handle was within reach. I could just ‘pony up’ and a particular unicorn, who is currently elsewhere— She frowned in irritation. —would be cheering me on for doing those... things... with my mouth. But... She paused and poured the steaming hot liquid into the cup. It still doesn’t feel right. At least I was able to get that potter to make a collection of cups with hooks for my hoof!
“And why don’t you get a kettle with a hook?” Heartbreak asked out loud after setting the tea kettle back down the table. “You got everything else with a hook!” She turned and looked at the trail of water that had been spilled when she attempted to carry it with her mouth. Her attention turned back to the kettle with an annoyed gaze. “‘Cause you’re too heavy and I don’t want to break my stupid hoof picking you up.”
Momentarily, she contemplated whether or not she should thread the tea bags through her hoof-hole before just rolling her eyes at herself once more.
“Any more eye-rolling, H.B., and you’ll be able to open what’s sure to be Ponyville’s first casino!” Her overly cheerful smile quickly turned to a frown as she proceeded to plop the tea bags into the steaming hot water with her mouth. “Yeah, maybe that joke should have stayed in my head where it sounded a lot funnier.”
After a few minutes of steeping, the bags were given a few more dunks before pulling them from the cup. Heartbreak felt her neck stiffening and growing sore from all the head bobbing. “Doing it for the tea, doing it for the tea, doing it for the tea,” she whimpered in an attempt to cheer herself on before setting the spent bags down on a saucer. “Least the last part is a little sweeter!” She smiled looking at a small plate of sugarcubes.
Heartbreak snagged five or six of the sweet treats from off the platter and delighted in the plopping sound that all but one made as they hit the surface of the bitter black liquid before sucking down on that final cube. She gave a smile at the sensation of grainy sugar dissolving on her tongue.
“Like eating sweet sand,” she mused out loud before putting the teacup’s hook-handle into her hoof-hole and lifting the hot brew to her lips. She gave the hot liquid a gentle blow to cool it down and took a sip. As the bittersweet, hot liquid traveled down her throat, she could feel her sinuses sighing in relief as they drained, if only a bit.
She took a deep breath through her nose and smiled before coughing and clearing her throat. “Alrighty then,” she said, swallowing and carefully setting the tea cup back down on the table. “Time to get some drawing, writing, or just plain creating something in, today!”
But as she reached forward towards her saddle bags to retrieve her mechanical pencil, a loud knocking came from her front door.
Heartbreak glowered at the door. “Of course, just as I was getting comfortable.” But who could that be? Fluttershy wouldn’t be back this soon, would she? She paused and took a deep breath, hoping that whoever it was, they didn’t hear her having a conversation with herself. Maybe if I ignore it, they’ll just go away... Another series of raps at the front door sent cracks through the foundations of that hope coming to pass.
“Missus H.B.!! Are ya home?!” the familiar southern twang called out. “It’s me! Cream Puff! Ah got treats fer ya!”
“Treats...” With the mention of that word, the desire to remain sat upon the couch started to ebb away. She bit on her lip contemplating whether or not she should still answer. A few more desperate growing knocks to her door made her sigh and push herself off the couch. “Erph! Hold on! I’m coming!”
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The wide eyed little filly looked up, eagerly standing at attention on the front steps of the massive house before her. As the hoof steps from within grew closer and closer to the door; a warm, fuzzy excitement made her smile grow more and more.
She is gonna be so surprised ta see what ah made! Just then, the front door swung inward, revealing the face of her favorite storyteller with an expression that was none too pleased to see the little filly at her stoop.
“Hiya Miss H.B.!” Cream Puff exclaimed from the other side of the screen door.
“Cream Puff—” Heartbreak covered her mouth and coughed a bit before clearing her throat. “—what did I say about calling me ‘miss’?”
“Oh, right,” The little golden filly replied, rubbing her neck before smiling and looking at her favorite storyteller. “Sorry...”
Heartbreak waved her hoof dismissively. “It’s not the worst thing that’s happened—” She sniffed hard and attempted to recompose herself. “—today. Still, what are you doing here?”
“Well, ah heard ya were sick, so ah thought that ah would make ya somethin what’s ta help ya feel better!” She paused and crossed her front hooves before looking up sheepishly. “That is if ya be wantin' it... Ah don't want ta be no trouble or anythin', Miss— ah mean, H.B...”
Heartbreak paused, a bit of apprehensive concern showing on her face. “How did you know where I lived?”
“Scootaloo an’ Applebloom told me!” the little bubbly filly replied.
Heartbreak took a deep breath and rolled her eyes before applying her hoof to her face. “How... nice of them,” she muttered.
“It sure was!” Cream Puff replied, her smile going so wide it made Heartbreak cringe a bit. “An I got all sorts of—” The lifting of one tan hoof put the filly on pause.
“But you walked out here, all by yourself? Alone?” Cream Puff only continued to smile and nod at the line of questioning being presented to her. “A little filly like you, passing near the Everfree Forest?”
“Hey! Ah might not have ma cutie mark and all, but ah’m still a big filly!” she retorted, puffing up while gave a frown that was meant to express how upset she was, however this display only came off as adorably cute. “An’ besides, it’s not like ah went right through the forest.”
“Maybe not,” Heartbreak replied, rubbing her nose, sniffing and looking at the basket again. “But there’s dangerous stuff lurking outside the forest or just at the edge. Like the snapdragons living under my porch.”
Cream Puff eyed the flora that was slowly edging out from under the stairs. She blinked and looked back at Heartbreak with confusion. “What, those things? Dangerous?”
“You mean they don’t eat ponies?”
“What?” Cream Puff gawked in disbelief. “Where’d ya get a hairbrained idea like that?”
“It’s what Rarity said when we were first looking at the house,” Heartbreak replied, sheepishly.
“Pfffft!” Cream Puff waved a hoof dismissively at the two floral faces that had inched out from their hiding spots. “These things look scary an’ all, but they don’t eat ponies! They eat bugs. Like flies and maybe like those fluffy winged thingers...”
“Parasprites?”
“Yeah! Ah think that’s what they’re called!”
Heartbreak frowned in disappointment at the two snapdragons. “You don’t eat meat?!” The two plants pulled away from the imposing figure that now glowed with a mingling of reds and yellows while their eye-like fronds drooped in response to the questioning. “There go my plans for stallions like Narrow Beam...” The flora emanated whimper-like noises while rattling their draconic leaves as they slipped back under the porch steps.
Suddenly, Heartbreak became acutely aware of the the big grinning face just a little too close to hers.
“So!” Cream Puff exclaimed.
“So...” Heartbreak replied, awkwardly.
The little filly stood on her forehooves and fixed Heartbreak with a look of hope so bright and adorable it could probably send some ponies into diabetic shock. “Aren’t ya gonna invite me in?”
“Oh,” Heartbreak’s ears turned down and her expression soured. “You... wanted to come in.”
“Well, yeah,” Cream Puff replied, her voice softening.
Heartbreak rubbed the back of her head and coughed a bit. “Well, I was just hoping to get some drawing done, maybe a nap,” she glanced at Cream Puff awkwardly. “Ya know... without any distractions.” The large-eyed expression on the fillies face shifted from that of great joy to that of heart-cracking disappointment.
“Ah understand. Not too many other ponies want an orphan like me around...” Cream Puff replied, her voice barely covering her feelings. “Ah’ll just leave this basket with ya, an head back ta the home, then.”
Heartbreak sighed and groaned, her hoof tapping on the door frame, before rolling her eyes eyes. “I... ugh... I guess you could stay for a little while.”
“Really?!” Cream Puff exclaimed, her eyes going wide and sparkling.
Heartbreak recoiled from the eye-shimmer and nodded. “Yeah, but not for too long. I still could be infectious and I don’t want to give you anything I’ve got.”
“Yay!” Cream Puff cheered, darting quickly through the door. “An’ ya don’t have ta worry about me, Missus H.B. They make sure that we get our shots at the home! An’ ah brought all sorts of things besides treats, ah got some puzzles, an’ games, an’ a couple of books fer readin’ too!”
“That’s...” Heartbreak sighed, she had a feeling that this evening would be anything but relaxing. “Great.” She looked around, her brow furrowing before she closed the door. “Just great.”
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Alright, I know, I shouldn’t be acting this freaked out or awkward about a simple visitor. However, the word ‘but’ keeps jumping into my head.
‘But’ she was the first one that I know of to be affected by ‘the mark’. ‘But’ she is a little filly and has an ‘ever-so-adorable face that makes it hard for me to say no to her asking for things.’ ‘But’ she is also an orphan and I have this weird sneaking feeling that she’s attempting an ‘Orphan Annie’ on me.
There are a lot of ‘buts’ here and it isn’t helping that I am still feeling the dregs of a cold. Though, calling all of what I just experienced ‘a cold’ is sorely under—
“Mis— Ah mean, H.B., are ya feelin alright?”
“Huh?!” Cream Puff’s question rips me out of the thought quagmire that I was rolling around in and back to reality. “Yeah,” Fet, there’s still some drippage going on here. I sniff hard to bring it under control. “Why do you ask?”
Cream Puff tilts her head, her eyes showing concern. “Cause ya went all quiet-like an’ yer eyes were dartin’ about like ya had caught a bird in yer mouth.”
“Well,” My brow furrows and I am sure that I look really baffled. Maybe. What the— Bird in the mouth!? Gah, whatever. “I’ve never put it that way.” Quickly, I push out a fake cough. Hey, I’m sick and while I am, I might as well use it as an excuse right? “I did mention that I’m still getting over quite the cold, right?”
“Uh-huh...” However, my acting is all for naught due to the fact that, that like all little minds, Cream Puff seems to be already distracted by the pictures on the walls and random bobbles on my shelves. “Who’s that?”
“Uhm,” On the wall is one of the random pictures of a mare in a side pose... laying on some silken sheet... looking up at the viewer in a relaxed, apt suggestive pose. “Uhm,” I bite my lip and have to wonder if such a pose is permissible for a little filly like Cream Puff to be looking at, after all, what if she goes back to her orphanage and tells other ponies what she’s seen due to the fact that I haven’t bothered taking inventory of this house’s contents? What if—
“Oh! Hey!” Cream Puff exclaims poking at a kitschy-looking lamp made of seashells, driftwood and bits of water-tumbled glass on a small table in the hallway. “Who made this?”
Calm down, H.B. Not everything has to be a fetting emergency. She’s just curious, and thankfully for me, easily distracted. “Honestly, I don’t know,”
As we move into the living room where my big comfy couch is still calling my name, the little filly flinches as her gaze turns upward. “W-what is that?”
“Uhm,” Blinking, I find myself at a loss of words as she points up to one of the rather odd glass statues that are sat around the house. Feline inspired, it has stripes of swirling glass and two cat-eyed marbles for the orbs that it uses to peer down from its perch at the top of my living room bookshelf. I smirk a little as it reminds me of some weird cross between Bungle, the glass cat from the Oz books and Cheshire from Alice. “I guess the last owner of the house really had a thing for glass cats?”
“A-ah guess.” Poor Cream Puff looks rather unnerved as she raises an eyebrow at the admittedly peculiar creation. She looks over at the table in front of the couch and trots over to my— Oh fet! The boredom book! I left the stupid thing just lying open on the table! I—
No, calm down, boredom book is safe. It’s not a horrible thing. It’s stupid and fine and— “What’s this?”
“Nothing really important, just a sketchbook that I put unfinished ideas into,” I reply as casually as I can. Why does this feel so... awkward? She’s just a visitor. An overly cute, terribly happy, little filly visitor. I bet it’s because there aren’t any other pon— any others here to watch over me here. I’m here, by myself. No Pinkie, no Fluttershy, no... Twilight... and... if I do any more internalization, she’s going to wonder if there’s something wrong with me. Take some advice for once: ‘Go with the flow.’
Even with that small bit of self-assurance, something about all this is still putting me on edge. Like at any second something could go horribly wrong and no— uhm, none would be around to help me out of this, like the two of us are sitting on a cliff’s ledge and the random thought of ‘I could totally push them right off and no—’
Just then, the clock chimes that it is three past the hour and while the smell of treats keeps wafting past my nose and attempting to calm and reassure me that everything will be fine? There’s a part of my mind is thinking that this would be the perfect time for Fluttershy to come back and diffuse these really awkward feelings I am going through right now. And just in case anything else crops up.
She pauses, a hoof on the cover ready to open the book before turning at looking at me. “Is it ok if ah look at it?”
“Sure,” I finally decide, taking a seat on the couch. “Just don’t be surprised if you’re disappointed at the quality of the work.” I adjust myself to get comfortable, before Cream Puff hops up and carefully avoiding my mark, joins me. “I mean it’s a sketch book. It’s not like there’s anything in there worth writing back to the home about.”
No worries about the wait.Thanks for keeping at it.
7292251 *hugs* Thanks.
MLP-MSP day 1: Heartbreak updates.
It LIVES!!!!! Seriously though, have these three flutteryays.
Yeah, it continues! Thanks for another chapter Jet Black.
It is good to hear that you are okay, even if there are pressing concerns weighing on you.
Fun chapter, btw!
It's alive! Muahaha!
On a serious note, I'm glad to see this story get updated. Always nice to have a little Heartbreak in my life, especially when it is so rare.
Hope life isn't kicking you too much.
no problems my friend, i'm just glad you didn't abandoned the story, i always loved this series, hope it doesn't take long for the next chapter to update.
Good to see you again, sorry for what is happening to you.
Talking to yourself is not a sign of insanity, no, nope, not at all. Its when you start talking back that you need to begin worrying.
It's so good to see this alive, i keep hoping like a fool, that this story will end up with a more or less happy ending.
7293607 nice to see you to, Sammy.
7293607 Also, I know it's been a while since the book started., buuuuut, she was there at the beginning of this, ever-so-boring-book. ^.^
Oh dear, The little filly is going to be persistent in her choice of "mommy material", isn't she? Of course she would pick the walking Chaos Nuke... I wonder if this is a stealth "eventual/partial solution" sneaking in under the radar.
I know I hassle you from time to time but you know I'm not rushing you. Just busting your ovoids.
7294332 I know. But did you like the chapter?
7294354 yup! Puff was cute, colds suck and I now love the snapdragons even more. If you'd thrown a Brickhouse in I might have squee'd... maybe.
Interesting, a lamp and a clock HB doesn't remember obtaining.
A lamp that looks like it was taken straight out a Shellycoat's home, and a clock that only the Cheshire Cat would endorse.
Someone seems to be taking steps to observe our feytouched time bomb.
Which means someone has taken note of her existence and impact... or lack thereof.
What IS little miss sunshine doing to have another world take an active interest in their castoffs...
7292386 that was this weekend? Ah Fet. Oh well.
7295235 IIRC, the house came fully furnished as left by the previous owner. I am more inclined to think she has not done an inventory since she was still settling in when she got sick. -Though that would be an easy way to set watchers as you say, and even do a little "Gaslighting" when the spy constructs move from spot to spot making her wonder if she's going crazy...er.
Glad to see you updated. I feel like you're just stretching your muscles with this chapter more than really getting into it. What with it having been so long since the last chapter and this one being pretty heavily relaxed. I could be wrong though. I'm just guessing based on how it feels after reading it. It's good to see H.B. stirring again.
It'd been a while since last chapter and I was struggling to remember who Cream Puff was at first but this chapter thankfully kinda spelled it out for me: The orphan that really liked H.B. and her stories.
You took TOO LONG! TOOK TOO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!
[youtube=TM_6tgVJb_o]
Now I'm curious to see what else is in the house besides the wee spiders.
TOO LONG!
You can't separate dialogue associations like that, Jet.
*An. S'a VOWEL
Also, stop putting spaces after ellipses. THERE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SPACES!
Oh jeez, I even forgot why words like "Miss" and "Missy" bother H.B., now I remembered it.
And who is Cream Pu.... ooOOOOh, it is THAT cute little filly who suffered a lot after touching H.B.'s cutie mark.
And she came to visit her favourite story teller. How are you gonna deal with that, you super sad and denying mare, huh? :>
ok so I just spent the last like five days marathoning this series of books and I am loving it. finally made it this far, but now I just want so much more. This is, just so good. how good? lemme tell you a thing. I am a patron on patreon to a total of 2 people. if there was a patreon for this story or heck just for the author doing anything else I would totally be down for supporting it/them. now to make this comment relevant to the chapter. hm... that glass cat looks phenomenal. interested to see where that leads. hope it leads to more Dib. I miss Dib.
7338336 I've thought about a patreon. But haven't a clue how to set that sort of thing up... And I would feel a bit weird about it...
Even if it could kinda help me out.
Anyway. Love that you love the story. Hope you're paying attention to the details! Especially, doors.
7339075
yeah I have read through the tumlr. skipped most of the Q&H stuff cause it didn't interest me. speaking of which I noticed you followed the skin deep tumblr! I freaking love skin deep. heh actually that's one of the two patreons I contribute to. Rock on man.
7339270 Awww, but Query is awesome!
Plus there's going to be some new stuff coming to the tumblr pretty shortly...
it's going to be... Quite transformative!
7340291
Does that mean you'll start answering more questions? There are a few things I would wanna ask H.B.
7340637 Be our guest, but remember, everything that happens everywhere in my stories has some importance. Discord is in the details after all...
Ooh dear I do not like the look that cat is giving me.
Cream Puff brought treats? And games? And books? Where? Was she carrying them, or did she have a wagon, or... what?
What did Cream Puff make?
7391034 we'll have to find out in the next chapter, eh?
Hmm, I just realized something after seeing a fan-art of HB. The one where she comes into contact with the crystal heart? Well Flurry Heart destroyed it when she got near it, so does that mean that Flurry is secretly HB after being erased by Celestia?
7557226 I hope not, but I too noted this weird little similarity. There are loads of weird little quirks that I've noted that I wrote about first but then the show hit upon later.
Remember Creativi-Tea? The catalyst might have been different, but Inspiration Manifestation sure follows a similar plot now, don't it?
Or how about in the return of the Crystal Empire when Pinkie drops down from a zipline? That sorta happened back in the first book...
There are all sorts of odd quirts here and there.
Glad to see that you're still reading...
7607098 Soon, I've been having some real life issues and what have you. Girlfriend had neck surgery for bruised discs, she's back home now, doing far better, but recovering and the like. But rest assured, I have some stuff that I'm working on and still working on chapter nine and how it shape up before I ship it out.
Thanks for checking up on me!
Annon downvoter.
Really? Just, really?
I make a post about how my girlfriend was in the hospital for surgery with her neck, and you even downvote that?
Have you no soul? Have you no decency? Will you waste your time downvoting every one of my inane posts because your jollies out of it?
Even the posts were I explain that My Girlfriend, whom I love dearly, whom I had to spend the near whole of september taking care of her and making sure she recovered and took her meds on time?
Your downvotes speak volumes for as many years speak volumes on your character.
Loved reading the whole series
i'm eagerly awaiting more heartbreak shinanigans :3
and i hope she gets to adopt cream puff at some point in the series, she's adorable and sweet
7731516 *Gasp!* A comment! *boops a nose!*
7733565
Beep!
Nooooooo! It's not finished!!!
7829328 I'll see what can do before the new year. In the meantime, whatcha think of the start?
7832249 I haven't read the first chapter yet. Now, hear me out, I have a good reason.
I haven't read the first chapter yet because, quite simply, I know that if I start reading, I'm not going to be able to stop. After all I did blitz through the rest of the series before this.
This has become an utterly fascinating tale, and I cannot wait to read more. When it's finished.
I have been savouring these slowly over the week, trying to make it last before i finally catch up and have to wait and lose the tale train in my head.
Good work with the filly, thought i didn't quite remember if she had a southern accent.