• Member Since 24th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Oct 16th, 2017

1Bit


Hey there! Name's Alex; Worshipper of Applejack, Reader of stories and writer of AppleDash fics. Hope you stick around!

E

Applejack loves her life on the farm and is known throughout Ponyville for being an honest, hard-working earth pony. When she injures her leg applebucking and is forced to stay in bed for a few days, Applejack ignores the doctors advice and attempts to get back to working, not trusting in Granny Smith's capabilities to organize the running of Sweet Apple Acres only to find the Apples making sure she can't get out of the room. If she wants to return to harvesting apples and enjoying her regular life again, she needs a plan...
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My first story! Hope it's alright...this particular fic is set during season 2 in case you were wondering!
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Huge thanks to BluegrassBrooke for reading over the first two parts and offering great advice! :twilightsmile:

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 14 )

I like it so far:) You should write more.:twilightsmile:

Why didn't they call any relatives to help them out?

This story really needs some more likes! It's rare to see a first story written from the perspective of a single character, but you did a beautiful job describing things from her perspective. I LOVE to see that! Anyway, there were a few hiccups, but nothing major, especially for a first story.

There was some blank dialogue, that I would have liked to see fluffed up with added description or thoughts, but not enough to be distracting (it was more noticeable in the first chapter). Your descriptions are just long enough to get the point across without going overboard, which is a treat to read. I like how you're trying to set the scene, though I'd like to have it be a touch more obvious. You've got a few Charles Dickens paragraphs; I'd suggest breaking those into several smaller ones so the reader isn't struggling through a wall of text.

Your characterization was spot on, and I loved the goofy antics with Applejack's escape attempts. Too funny! Anyway, it's a fun little story so far, I'd like to see more. If you'd like an editor, I'd be happy to edit for you; it wouldn't take too long at all, it's really very well done already.

Thanks for posting! I enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

5472289 Thanks very much for commenting! I'm glad you enjoyed it so far. I also appreciate a lot of the criticism as well (since I'm new to this sort of thing) and I'll make sure to take it into account in the future and play a bit more with the dialogue/thoughts and such :twilightsmile:. If you are happy to do so, someone editing would be wonderful :pinkiehappy:
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You may just need me to...well, hehe...tell me how to allow you to edit chapters (I really am new to all this, aren't I?) :twilightblush:

5466057 Thank you very much!

5472388 I use gdocs to edit. You don't need to make an account if you don't want. What I'd do if you don't have an account is make a document with your story, and then I'd comment/edit on it for you. It just allows me to comment on and point out all the little details as I go. PM me if you're interested, and we can finagle the details if you'd like.

5466249 While it will be mentioned in later parts, the idea is that their relatives are much too busy with harvesting their own orchards and such, none would be available on such short notice to help the Apples with their harvest.

Comment posted by Ponymeat deleted Jan 6th, 2015

Personally I felt these two chapters could easily be combined into one with little to no change in the flow or pacing.

Congratulations! Your fic Applejack's Day Off has been added to my tracking list! It is the 100th story on there, and to honor this, I actually don't know what to do...
so here's a picture of a seal! nathab.com/uploaded-files/carousels/TRIPS/Harp-Seal/North-Harp-Seal-Watch-1-ice-seal.jpg

Wow 17 likes, thank you everypony!

WOW. I love this :heart:

A long time ago, I reviewed this. It's nicely folksy, and there is something of the feel of an S2 episode. However, the diary extract is much too long and the fic seriously needs some proofreading.

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