Thorn wondered if it was possible to wear a rut in the ground by pacing. If it was, Sparkle was going to do it very soon with as many loops around the room as she had covered. The mare’s eyes, Thorn observed, were dull and emotionless, obviously as a result of the emotional dampening spell she had cast upon herself.
It was great to keep her relaxed, but it did little to ease her indecisiveness.
“What to do, what to do...” she mumbled to herself. “Time’s almost up. What to do?”
“Take a page out of Twilight’s book,” Thorn suggested. “Make a list.”
“Right. Thorn?”
“Ready,” the drake said after procuring a quill and scroll.
“Saying Yes, Pros: Money, no debt, food, allies within the criminal sphere, political influence, favors, more clients, more work, false IDs, a darker turn on my reputation, gain permanent influence over Card Gambit post-ritual.
“Cons: Murder of an innocent, murder for profit, loss of potential light allies, helping a known criminal, branded as a criminal, must live under disguise for rest of life, more requests for similar rituals, might lose Shiny’s love... ouch, inability to live with myself.
“Saying No, Pros: No change in status, not a ritual murderer, other criminals not wanting immortality from me, Shiny still loves me.
“Cons: Gambit mad at me, syndicate turning on me, potential for coercive tactics to be used against me or Shiny, loss of fortune, debts, hunger. Got all that?”
Thorn nodded. “Got it. Sparkle, If I were you, I’d just do it and be done with it.”
“But I’m not you,” she snapped. “Gyah! Stupid, motherbucking, feather-brained son-of-a-bitch! Why couldn't you have rolled over and died before you brought me into this mess?” She raged, temporarily overcoming the emotional suppression spell.
“Language, Sparkle,” the drake habitually quipped.
Sparkle glared at the drake. “Not. Helping.”
“Look, I know this will hurt you to hear this, but you've already killed for personal gain. You've already crossed that line," Thorn said. His words made Sparkle step back, her ears flattened against her head. "The market, remember? Look, most of your arguments revolve around emotion and morality, and there isn't much of that for us, Sparks. You taught me to be pragmatic, you teach your students to be pragmatic, you always say to do the best possible choice; now be pragmatic."
Sparkle glared at him. "Thorn, this is- I can't just- You don't understand!"
"Don't I? Why don't we just ask your brother? Shining Armor’s going to be-” Thorn was interrupted by a pounding on the door. That definitely wasn’t her brother.
“Open up, Sparkle,” the pony on the outside called. “Time's up. The boss wants to see you."
Dispelling the magic around her mind, Sparkle sighed. "Great, just bucking great. Thorn, can you follow me discretely? I may need you."
He nodded as he spoke, "Sure thing, Sparkle."
The blindfold and the horn-suppressor were things that were constants when dealing with the boss. Nopony outside his trusted inner circle knew where his offices were, or where he was at any given time. And, as paranoid as the old warhawk was – there was no better way to describe him – there was no way he'd let a questionably loyal unicorn keep their magic in his presence.
Not that the best of the best even needed to use their horn to cast magic, or to have a horn in the first place. Hell, even non-ponies could call upon the arcane with the right training.
Despite that, the ring on her horn did mess with her magical circuits, weakening her drastically. To the power-hungry pegasus behind the decadently over-decorated desk in the similarly excessive office, it was exactly the way he liked it. "Tell me, Ms. Sparkle, have you come to a decision? I trust you'll pick the right thing."
"I've thought about it, Mr. Gambit, and I am afraid there is no way I can accept the task." A pony who had been standing in the back of the room exited. "This is a personal thing; I'm sure you can understand."
The smirk on Card Gambit's face didn't fade as much as Sparkle expected it to. "I understand. I guess it simply was not to be. Now, would you be so kind as to help an old stallion to his hooves? I want to show you something."
She nodded, at least willing to show a pony common decency. Trotting round the desk, she offered a hoof, which he gladly accepted. Card stood, showing that his rear leg was supported by a metal brace. "Come, walk with me."
Sparkle obliged, following behind the slow-moving, elderly pegasus. In silence they walked for several minutes, not going relatively far because of the elder's speed. Sparkle was about to break the silence when the two turned a corner and came upon a metal door. His hoof pushed on the lever, allowing the door to swing in.
The scream that punctuated the air had her moving faster than she thought possible, for one simple reason; she knew that voice. "SHINY!"
The room she burst into was large, hot, dank, and cram-packed with metal cages. Most were empty, but the occasional cage contained a pony or some other sentient race. None of that mattered to Sparkle. What did was the cage in which she saw one pony kicking the downed form of her brother. "LET HIM GO!" She roared, charging towards the guards around his cell.
A set of strong hooves and a strong magic field intercepted her, pinning her to the floor. Her head fell at just an angle needed to see Shining Armor out the corner of her eyes. She struggled, her magic thrashing under her skin in an attempt to break her captors' grips.
"Now, now, Ms. Sparkle. Your brother here is going to be our guest until the job is done. He'll be quite cozy as long as you just say yes. If not..." Card's wing flipped open. Magic, a property of the soul and directly the body, grew stronger with age, and Card Gambit was no exception. His wing, suddenly quite electrified, struck the bars of the cage. Shining Armor screamed while his previous torturer looked on, unaffected because of the rubber boots he was wearing.
There was movement in the background, observed only by Sparkle. Thorn. Suddenly reassured with extra confidence, Sparkle twitched her magic. To those onlookers who could feel it, they would think nothing of it. To Thorn, the short-range communication from his mother said, 'wait for a better opportunity.'
"Well?" Card asked. "My workers are so temperamental, and I can't keep them calm forever. Now, as long as you agree to the job within the next, oh, thirty seconds, I'll let him go and even still pay you for the job. Or not..." Again, he let the implication hang.
From the cage, Shining Armor hoarsely called out, "Do whatever they want, Sparks! Don't fight, or somepony could get hurt, but potect yourself. We can deal with whatever comes afterward when we're both free."
"Fine," Sparkle relented. The pony on her back lifted up, while the aura pinning her down suddenly dragged her backwards. "Shiny!"
"Sparks!"
The last she saw of him before the metal door closed was his hoof sticking out the bars of his cage.
"Let him go!"
"Not yet, Ms. Sparkle. There's an order to these things. First, I give you this." From under his wing, Card pulled out an envelope and passed it to Sparkle. "These are the instructions to get the first half of your money; you'll get the rest when the job is done and I am young again. Then, after you keep your end, the rest of the money and your brother are yours."
"Fine." She took the envelope and pocketed it. "There are some things I need before we can do this. Blood of the victim, blood of the predator, two large corundum-based gems – rubies or sapphires, as large and clear as possible – and a wooden basin. I'll also need to get some books from my place.
"And if so much as one hair on Shining Armor's head is out-of-place when I get back, NoT eVeN ThE cReAtOr WiLl SaVe YoU wHeN i DeVoUr EaCh AnD eVeRy OnE oF yOuR sOuLs." The shadows bent and stretched, the wind blew around her, the stench of rot assaulted the noses of everypony nearby, the suppression ring on her horn groaned with the strain of keeping her back, and Sparkle's powerful voice reverberated down to their very souls.
She wasn't the only pony to flare their magic. Card and the hired muscle each flared their magic, creating various sensations depending on their tribe, with the pegasi producing electrified wind, unicorns producing an outwards pressure, and earth ponies seeming to make everything feel heavier. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife.
Then, just as suddenly as it had come, the moment was gone and everypony could breathe again. "Now that this little pissing match is over, I suggest you run along and get your money, get your books, and come back when you're ready. After all, the longer you take, the longer Shining Armor stays my guest," Card Gambit smugly said.
Sparkle snorted angrily and scraped her hoof on the tile floor. "Mark my words, Gambit. If you break your end of the deal, I will make you immortal, and I will make every last moment of eternity an absolute hell."
He only smirked.
The scent of cigar smoke - while as pleasant as smoke could be - irritated Sparkle’s muzzle. Thorn, had he been with her, would have sucked the ambient fumes in with great gusto. Around them, dozens, maybe even a few hundred ponies sat around gambling their money away. Despite the drab, ordinary exterior, this rather lavish casino was the place the letter had instructed her to go.
She walked up to one of the clerks at the barred exchange window and passed a slip to her. The slip, covered in symbols that Sparkle had no clue what they meant, was taken by the mare and given a once-over. She stood up and walked away.
A minute later, the mare was back with a bucket in her mouth. She passed the lidded bucket to Sparkle, and then passed a different slip of paper. “Here are your chips. Have fun playing, don’t come back for an hour and use a different window to get your cash. Keep this receipt for your own financial records.”
The receipt in question denoted that Sparkle had only bought thirty bits worth of chips, while judging from the high-stakes chips in her bucket, Sparkle was probably carrying several million’s worth. Sparkle nodded in understanding.
As soon as she walked away from the window, her horn darkened. Two spells formed; the first would stop ponies from having any interest in the bucket, while the second would make them dearly regret it if they still did.
Sparkle didn’t play but one game, where she lost a measly ten bits. Her nerves were too frayed to enjoy herself, knowing that every moment she waited, her brother could be in pain. She trusted Thorn not to do anything that would jeopardize the situation, but couldn’t help but worry anyway.
When the time was up, Sparkle almost literally materialized before the exchange stallion. The magic on the bucket evaporated as she passed it to him, and he took it without batting an eye. Like the mare before him, he disappeared around the back. When he returned, he was carrying a locked briefcase and a key, which he passed back. Quickly opening the case, Sparkle saw that the proper banknotes were present. Gratefully, she took it, the key, and the receipt that showed half of Card’s promised amount minus her losses.
She left in a hurry.
A quick stop at her house saw her lightened by one briefcase and burdened down by two vile, leather-bound books, a used ritual blade she’d liberated from a poor soul who had tried to steal her powers once, and several rolls of genuine parchment. The door, opened not two minutes before, was locked down and sealed with several nasty spells to keep out the nosey.
Racing across the ground as a shadow, slipping under ponies and carriages as if they weren’t even there, she made a mad dash towards the meeting place where the grunts would be. Much to her relief, the pierced unicorn and the burly pegasus were there.
“I’m ready,” She said as she emerged from the disembodied shadow.
“Come.”
"If he gives you the signal, he's in charge of the organization. If he doesn't, kill her."
"Yes, sir."
The room she found herself in was quite empty, devoid of all furniture and windows. Candle holders lined the wall, providing an eerie light. The floor itself, granite, was unusually smooth and extremely clean, giving the impression that this room had been made for expressly the purpose of conducting rituals.
“Here you go, Ms. Sparkle. Plenty of space for us to work,” Card Gambit said.
“And the ingredients I need?” Sparkle asked.
“Ah, one moment. Savior!”
From outside the room, a voice called out, “Coming, pops.” In walked a young, muscular, pegasus colt, possibly two years younger than Sparkle herself. “Here you go!” he cheerfully exclaimed as he set the bowl and the two rubies within down before her.
She eyed it and, determining that everything was satisfactory, said, “Now, I need your blood, Mr. Gambit, as well as the blood of your victim. Where is he? I’d assumed you would have already had him in here.”
Savior looked at her as if she had asked if the weather was playing a G# today. “I’m right here.”
“Wait, you’re using your own son for this?” Sparkle realized, horrified. “And he’s fine with that?”
“Of course he is,” Card replied smugly. “I’ve been planning this for years now. It’s only natural that a son would want to help his father.”
Sparkle was shocked, horrified, disgusted, and enraged, all at once. Shocked because that was his son, horrified because apparently Savior had been groomed to die, disgusted because Card was old enough to be Savior's great-grandfather, and enraged because one of the plans for trapping Card involved using a completely unrelated pony for the sacrifice.
"You are. One. Sick. Bastard. You know that, right?" Sparkle spat. She grit her teeth in rage.
"Don't worry, Ms. Sparkle! When pops and I are together, I'll be sure to fix him," the optimistic colt said.
"Savior, it doesn't work that way," Sparkle informed him. "You're going to be gone for ever; your father's just going to be wearing your hide."
"Are you sure? 'Cause that's not what pops said, and he's been studying," Savior replied.
"I'm sure."
"Oh." He was silent for a second, then, "That's fine."
"Savior..."
"Sparkle, I'm not getting any younger here," Card Gambit said, "and your brother sure as hell isn't getting any free-er."
"..." Sparkle said nothing, but glared at him. Regardless, she started preparing for a moment she would regret for the rest of her life.
Surrounded by the sounds of other illegally-held prisoners, Shining Armor lay on his side, recovering as best he could. He could feel at least one broken rib, a possibly fractured leg, a few gashes, and several dozen bruises. Nothing career ending, provided he could get medical help soon, but painful regardless.
He lay on his side, his leg hurting too much for any other position to be even remotely comfortable. He did fear for his safety, but he also had no clue as to what they were going to make his little sister do. Considering her talent, it was probably better that he didn't know; that didn't mean he wanted his sister to go through it.
It was in this lying position that he first saw the shadows move. At first, he thought it might be his sister, that is, until the terrifying visage of a dracolich emerged instead. Shining nearly screamed, err... hollered in manly distress, but silenced himself as his reason caught up to his perfectly rational fear response.
Thorn was a scary little fucker.
At that moment though, he gladly took an undead dragon over his captors. "Thorn."
"Shiny, I'm here to get you out," the drake whispered. "Are you hurt?"
"Leg, ribs, limited mobility, mild blood loss," Shiny stated clinically, as all guards were taught in basic training. "Sparkle?"
"She's fine. I'm getting you out in case something goes wrong," Thorn replied. He stood up tall and blew a thin stream of super-hot fire on a bar, melting it in seconds.
He was about to do it again when Shining Armor stopped him. "No! If I'm gone, they'll start executing the other prisoners to get her to work."
"She's already working; it's fine," Thorn replied. He yanked out the first bar and started on the another. "Now, do you mind if I grab something to eat on the way out?"
"What do you- oh..." He suddenly shrank back instinctively from the predator before him, prey instincts awoken. "Only those who are trying to kill us, and not if they retreat."
Thorn snorted. "They'll all be trying to kill us, and I won't give them the chance."
"Buck."
"Language, Uncle Shiny."
The screams echoed loudly within the stone ritual room, but not a sound escaped beyond it thanks to Sparkle's silencing spell. Blood oozed from Card's original mouth, as well as dozens of other runes carved into his skin, as his soul was forcefully ripped from its body and shoved into the first jewel. Sparkle let out a sadistic snicker. "If you wanted it to be less painful, you should have paid me more. If you wanted it to not hurt at all, you shouldn't have touched my brother. I told you I'd make you regret hiring me."
Savior, on the other hoof, had a much nicer time of it, with the modified spell circle easily sliding his soul into the second gem. The change allowed her to take his soul, unconscious but unharmed, with her. She thought of it at the last second – literally – and it had made her sigh in relief. It couldn't save all of him, but it could save the vast majority of him.
The moment both souls entered their respective jewels completely, Sparkle paused the ritual. She removed the jewel containing Savior's soul, which sparkled with an internal light, and set it aside. Over the runes surrounding the blood-filled basin and Card's soul-gem, Sparkle placed rune-inscribed parchment to add extra effects that would permanently alter his mind and soul. They would be subtle and devious for sure. She couldn't abuse them without him figuring it out, but they would certainly be helpful.
Finished with her modifications, she resumed the ritual. As Savior's old body started convulsing and writhing in agony, she felt guilty for the real one, but felt no remorse for the one who had doomed him.
The darkness of her magic receded momentarily, but returned with specialized diagnostic spells. Sparkle grinned like a mad-mare, which she arguably was, when she saw the results. It worked. The extra spells were settling in nicely, fading into his own magic. A true curse, she would assert.
Card Gambit-as-Savior stood up, somewhat shaky on unfamiliar hooves. In a minute though, he had asserted full control over his form. "It worked. It actually worked! Ha! Thank you, Ms. Sparkle. Your payment and your brother are yours."
"Thank you. Now, would you kindly leave the room for a few minutes? I need to clean up and decontaminate the room from my corruptive magic."
"Sure, sure." He said, and then left without another word.
In truth, she needed to do nothing of the sort. Instead, she flopped down on her back and balanced Savior's soul-gem on her navel. Her horn darkened, and so did the light of his soul. She smiled at the warm sensation spreading through her abdomen. "Don't worry, Savior. Mommy will have you all better in no time."
Standing up again, she pocketed the two jewels, grabbed her belongings, and trotted out of the room. Shoulders far lighter than she had anticipated, her hooves barely seemed to touch the ground. Humming a happy tune, she never noticed the tiny mistake she had made.
Shining armor hobbled out of the hospital with his leg in a cast and his wounds bandaged. He hadn't yet seen Sparkle since Thorn had rescued him from captivity, but that was rectified only a moment later. "Shiny!"
"Hey there, Sparks!" Shining Armor called out, waving a good hoof at her. "Are you alright?"
"Hehehe, I should be asking you that. But I am really happy right now; you're safe!" She walks up and gingerly hugged her brother.
"What kept you, though? I would have thought you'd have come running the moment Thorn got me free."
Sparkle nervously chuckled. "I did, but not to you." She flinched at the look Shining Armor gave her. "What? I had to get the money before they could stop me when they realized that you were gone."
"So money is more important than me?" Shining inquired.
"What? No! I just knew Thorn was with you. That's all."
Shining rolled his eyes. "I feel so loved. Now, I'm afraid to ask, but they didn't tell me what you were doing, or why. Care to fill me in?"
Sparkles ears flattened as she drooped her head and looked away. "Nothing interesting..."
"Nothing interesting? Nothing interesting, my ass! Sparks, they kidnapped me in broad daylight to get you to work for them! What the hell are you not telling me?" Shining Armor yelled, breathing hard afterwards.
Sparkle sheepishly turned towards her brother. "Promise you won't get mad? Or tell anyone?"
There was silence for a very long time. The stallion glared at his sister. "Fine," he growled. "What. Happened?"
"Card Gambit wanted me to sacrifice his son so that he could have his son's body, youth, and identity. He offered Ten million bits for the job."
"T-ten million?" Shining gasped. "That's-"
"A good chunk of his fortune and enough to put us in the top 15% of ponies, yes," Sparkle stated. "All our debts with him would be gone, too. But I said no. Then they showed me you, who they'd already captured, as incentive."
"So you did the job."
"Yes, but not for the original price," she answered.
"So, how much did you lose?" He asked.
"Nothing; I gained. It's only fair that since they took something of mine, you, I should take something of his too. Let's see, I got you, two rubies for Thorn, half of his new immune system's strength, and his deceased son's soul."
Shining stood with his mouth agape. "What. Why would you need his son's soul?"
"A project," Sparkle replied mysteriously. "If everything goes well... Nah, I won't ruin the surprise. You'll figure it out."
"Dear Celestia, now I really don't want to know."
So, she makes a small mistake, but there's no clue as to what it is... That's going to drive me nuts.
IS A MARE NOT ENTITLED TO THE SWEAT OF HER OWN BROW? NO, SAYS THE BISON, IT BELONGS TO THE LAND. NO, SAYS THE ZEBRA, IT BELONGS TO EVERYONE. NO, SAYS THE GRIFFON KING, IT BELONGS TO ME. I REJECTED THOSE ANSWERS. INSTEAD, I CHOSE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. I CHOSE... EQUESTRIA.
5564453
Chronologically, we're about at "Feeling Pinkie Keen" (15th episode). It won't rear its head until "hearts and hooves day" (Episode 43), which is about 11 months apart in-story according to my timeline. It won't take too long word-count-wise for me to get to it, though.
And it's not necessarily a small mistake, but a subtle one.
This tells us the bad guy isn't an idiot, that he's thought about this in detail, and that he trusts his subordinates completely.
This was a good addition, and you did well to include it.
This was not.
Aside from the fact that fucking Jesus, the reader does not need to know something "sparkled with an internal light"...did you proofread this? Or just give it a once-over before you posted it? :-/
Honestly this was probably the only way to solve the problem without bloodshed of some kind. Even the son was messed up and wouldn't have had a good life even if the entire thing could have been called off regardless.
Though that small mistake; did Sparkle forget that while she is immune to dark magic corruption (which as far as I can tell corrupts the soul), Savior might not be?
5564519
11 months you say? You wouldn't happen to be going that particular route would you?
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/bioshock/images/d/dd/WouldYouKindly.png/revision/latest?cb=20100418081042
5564852
Would you kindly eat this cookie?
5564856
Do I look like a genetically engineered assassin to you?
5564866
But I'm giving you a cookie!
5564881
You're not giving me a cookie, you're forcing it upon me. But I am a man, and a man chooses!
I reject your cookie!
5564927
[Insane Nahtzeh Scientist Voice]
More souls have come to play! *deep inhale* How wunderbar!
5564519
Damn, that's the worst kind of mistake!
Now you've got me all concerned-like!
5564954
I'll take the cookie.
But only because I choose to.
*nompf*
Ooh! Cyanide-flavored! My favorite.
Hrm… I enjoyed this too much to really complain, but, well… it's impressive that this doesn't seem as rushed as it should, given the word count of each chapter. I'm not sure if, given the chance, I would trade these 28,770 words for 28,770 words at a much slower pace, but still… there just seems to be a lot of lost opportunity for entire arcs, and you don't really ease the reader into things at all. Again, I quite enjoyed it and am looking forward to more, and you even seem to be working your way into more detailed arcs, but I'd be remiss if I didn't say anything, since it was the second thing on my mind throughout a lot of it.
As for the story itself, well… This is why you don't pay your licensed necromancer minimum wage. Like, geez alternate Celestia, getting her out of the slums should be Ruling 101
5565415
But... But... I thought those were good almonds, not the poisonous bitter ones! I didn't mean to poison you...
5565521
I would definitely agree with you, but this format just lends itself better to a more episodic style. In the planning, I said: 'here's the nail; what changes?' Anything outside of Canterlot or ten years in the making has to happen like canon. Thus the gala, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, plunder vines, and Tirek are all thing that happen regardless of what I do, because they directly effect Equestria (or Canterlot) as a whole and have causes pre-dating the split. Either I create arcs that are interrupted by these events, or I work in between them.
Honestly, it would be far worse if I hadn't imposed the "no leaving Canterlot" rule. It seems silly and restrictive, even from a "keep your enemies closer" type philosophy, but it narratively justifies keeping Sparkle away from the rest of the mane 6 and making you all suffer through all the stations of canon. That would be boring and pointless.
5565713
I am pretty sure Chrysalis would be at least partially changed in Sparkle timeline.
There is possibility that Shining won't get with Cadence thanks to whole "My sister killed my parents and made most of Canterlot sick" part.
Unless I missed part where they are together which had chance of happening.
But to be honest all you would need to do if you want to avoid whole thing is to make Cadence get with someone else.
Would Shining even get job of making that giant shield?
5565861
Meh... Shining and Cadance are still going to be a thing. They are interested in each other at this point, but no proposition yet. I'm also pretty sure that the Royal Guard would register the talents of those who join so they know who to call for a specific job. And who else do you know who might be strong enough to cast a city-wide shield that can withstand repeated assault at reduced strength?
5565632
Oh, pifle, I can't be poisoned by mere metals and metaloids.
5566070
I think you're confusing the toxic molecular cyano group (CN^-, LD50 of 1.52 mg/kg ) with metaloid arsenic (As, LD50 of 15mg/kg). Very different poisons; cyanide is 10x more deadly.
How did we even get to this?
5566252
They're both delicious.
5566252 it all started cookies
Yes, 5566768, I was there. I just wanted to know where that weird-as-shit conversation derailment came from.
5565713
Hmm, I wonder, actually. Sparkle ending up in Ponyville is natural enough if she is allowed to leave (it's probably cheap to live in, and is close to Canterlot where she has to teach), but I imagine her relationship with the other mane 6 would be nothing like Twilight's.
Applejack would probably be superstitious as all hell, bordering on hostile, and she's stubborn enough that nothing would really change that.
You probably couldn't force Fluttershy within half a mile of Sparkle.
Rarity would likely find her hideous to look at and way too uncouth in general to associate with.
Rainbow ... well, Rainbow could find her cool enough I imagine, once she gets over her initial suspicions.
Pinkie would probably be the only one to behave as she always does, because Pinkie.
It would be a very different dynamic compared to the original, with Sparkle's different interests and personality ensuring even less traversing the already beaten paths, with the larger half of mane 6 probably wanting nothing to do with her and only Pinkie (and perhaps Rainbow) having the occasional interaction with her. Yeah, the "global crisis events" would still affect her, but I imagine overall her life and relationships would be very different. And Celestia would come off as less short-sighted, as an added bonus.
But hey, that's all nothing but a bunch of what-ifs, just an idle thought exercise - just seemed like it wouldn't necessarily be all that repetitive, had you gone this route.
I still think Sparkle should've just killed them all.
Totally called Shiny getting kidnapped!
5564797
Well, given this…
…then that seems like a likely case.
My one complaint with this chapter, other than the ending having a bow that was far too pretty for what I expected, was Shining's Line:
I immediately thought 'Ooh! That's a changeling. Shining would never say that." He was always a protector to me (thus the Royal Guard) and that usually extends to putting others before himself, body and soul. I see him telling her not to give in and save herself. Classic idealized hero stuff. After all, he's gotta protect Sparkle - She's his LSBFF.
5580631
I changed the line to this:
5564519
5572850
Oh, I was thinking that the "half his immune system's strength" was going to backfire somehow. I hadn't really thought about the how, although an AIDS-like immune system deficiency subsequent to losing the bonus after his death or something springs to mind.
But your idea seems likely given the hint.
700,000,000 ?
I think this goes well beyond having nice food from now on; I'd been thinking more like 100,000 or 1,000,000
How does Sparkle know the total of Card Gambit's fortune? Someone who makes their money through illegal means is going to keep most of their assets hidden, so only a select few would know the true total.
The other thing that's starting to get me here is: Card Gambit appears to have planned this for years given how he groomed Saviour. Seeing as how Sparkle is the most important part of this ritual, wouldn't he have done more to groom her/ give her time to study and prepare and maybe try and get her to do a practice so he knows she can actually do this, rather than ask/ kidnap her and say 'you're a dark mage, you do this' a week before he needs it done?
Sorry if I'm seeming mean, I wouldn't be thinking about it this much if I didn't think it at least had potential for being great.
Wait wait wait, I get it! The mistake, Sparkle didn't clean up the ritual room like she told Card Gambit she would. He's a mob boss, he'll surely pick up on that, so he knows Sparkle must have been doing something else in the room.
Ace Attorney has trained me well
Stupid, motherbucking, feather-brained son-of-a-bith
Of not...
1. Intentional Or misspelling?
2. If.
5842315
I feel so embarrassed, having let these mistakes sit like that. Thanks for pointing them out so I can fix them.
I predict that Sparkle just impregnated herself with Savior's soul (or intends to do so), but since she was unable to save his entire soul, some of her essence is going to be contributed to fill in the gap. Remember what that meant for Thorn.
Another possibility may be that she slipped both soul gems into the same pocket, allowing for any trace shreds of Card's soul, and/or the curses placed upon him, to contaminate Savior's soul gem, and thus, his soul.
A third guess, though unlikely, is that Card is a dark magic user himself and, while not nearly as powerful in the dark arts as Sparkle, was still able to cast something upon her without her noticing. Perhaps he slipped a specter into her shadow. Maybe when she helped him up from his desk. Just saying, the first rule of dealing with dark mages is not to let the dark touch you. Card already admitted to reading a book on dark magic that sounded suspiciously familiar. We all know that Card's a nutjob.
Playing off of the third guess, Card could take control of Sparkle, using her to kill the other people who probably wouldn't have died she thought to cast a couple spells, perhaps spells to shield her against any other dark mages, before she left to meet with him a week ago if I remember correctly
Maybe Savior's soul was already hexed to transfer a curse to Sparkle, should she try to use it for anything. Perhaps Card anticipated that Sparkle would try to give Savior a chance to be reborn.
So, did she just impregnate herself with Savior's soul? How does that even work?
5911661
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AWizardDidIt
That is all.
You know what Clestia, ( sparkle's version ) I bucking hate you.
5704267
I'm sure the crown (and by extension, the guard, and through Shining Armor, Sparkle as well) has enough info to generate a rough total of the local crime boss' fortune.
Anyone know that the game reference in this chapter is?
(I'm curious. I didn't spot anything.)
5984489 it was italicized and the quote Would you kindly is a reference to the original Bioshock
wait did she just impregnate herself with the soul of the kid
At first I thought the italics indicated a seething tone of voice, but then I thought about it...
The Author's Note at the end just makes me more sure of it.
6250389 Yeah, having that power over someone would be crazy
I swear to fucking Christ that if that little mistake comes back to bite her in the ass in a major way, I'm going to have a conniption. That's sloppy writing, as you've shown that Sparkle is borderline paranoid in how she works.
Wait, I'm confused. What was the reference?
7042141 The biggest Spoiler in media since Rosebud right here.