- Member Since 13th Jan, 2013
- offline last seen 4 hours ago
TheKissoftheVoid
Singer, entrepreneur, dreamer, nerd, occasional author, and very proud of all of it.
TheKissoftheVoid
Joined 13th Jan, 2013 ·
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Very nice...Wish we could see a bit of Twilights new love thoughts about Chrysalis but still nice work! I loved the hypnotic induction especially! Im hoping to see a bit of memory manipulation but it's your story. I guess I'll have to write my own TwilightXChrysalis one now Lol. Glad you wrote this!
Really good indeed.
Whelp, this is interesting. i do hope that this has more story than clop though, But that's just my preference.
5679113 This is the main body of the story. There will be a follow-up, optional chapter with clop, but I wrote the main part without it so that those who don't like clop could still enjoy it.
And thanks for the fave!
5679139 Aw, I was hoping that we'd get to see the actual takeover of Equestria.
5679139 You don't know how many authors ruin their stories by not taking this route. Some of us actually don't enjoy clop, but a lot of writers feel the need to shove it into their stories for no reason. Thanks a lot for making it optional.
5679380 Sure thing. If you can make a story more enjoyable for a wider audience without compromising anything, then why not? As I have it planned, the sex is symbolically significant to the story, but not necessary for understanding.
Good story so far (and long for just one chapter 0_0) hope to see more! Like how Twilight didn't let herself get worn down... At least immediately of course ^^'
Aww, what a lovely Twysalis - *checks* - oh, clop huh? I don't care, it's Twysalis, and it's amazing, and after the clop chapter I really, REALLY want to see you write Twilight and Chrysalis taking over Equestria and the Crystal Empire. Maybe with some more hypnosis Chrysalis will be able to turn the Rainbow Power against Equestria.
Seriously though, your ideas behind Chrysalis's rise to queendom, how love magic works, how the change worked, the slow and insidious changing of Twilight's emotions, it was all AMAZING.
/Tw[y,i]salis/Chrylight/g
Words do not describe what the chapter has done with any sort of justice.
That you did what it takes some authors entire stories to do in such a sort time is truly outstanding. I hate the Queen, she's the bad one, I want her plan to fail, but it's so well done that I feel grudging respect for her and despite the fact I should feel horrified that Twilight has been bested, I'm rather enjoying the adorable love between the two EVEN though I KNOW it's wrong.
I just... You've confused my mind as much as the Queen has confused Twilights. 10/10. I hope this story goes on to 50 chapters of amazingness!
5680432
It hurts to think about it, doesn't it? I am normally fine with things like this too, but... it just feels so wrong.
I really hope this ends with twilight being returned to the way she was and finally expressing her true feelings.
I hope this has a Happy ending.
This got really really dark and I'm not sure I'm going to like where it goes.
I found this song quite fitting.
Like rape and force Stockholm syndrome.
Will see where this will go, but as it is right now, it should probably have a sad or maybe even a tragedy tag considering what have been stolen from Twilight.
I feel kinda seek yet still admire some parts of Chrysalis's personality. To be honest if she wasn't forcing this i would be loving the fuck out of her character and this fic.
I hope this isn't the last time she'll even try to resist. I mean, she may love Chrysalis, but even if love makes you feel all warm and fuzzy I have trouble believing she would readily take actions she knows directly harm her prior loved ones. Especially since she knows objectively that Chrysalis brainwashed her into loving her. As a princess she has a duty to Equestria, the same that Chrysalis has for the changelings; why would being in love with Chrysalis mean her past loyalties are meaningless but Chrysalis sticks purely with the Changelings? Not exactly an equal relationship, though I suppose that's sort of the point of what Chrysalis did to her; obviously Twilight loves her much more than she loves Twilight right now.
You know... it amazes me how often Alicorn Twilight forgets that, being an alicorn, she has access to the traits of ALL THREE RACES. That means that even without her horn or her wings at her disposal, she still has the earth pony magic inside her. Couldn't she, like, augment her muscles or something to give her the strength to break out of imprisonment?
Still... very good story, dear author. It's not often you see a decent one about Chrysalis getting Twilight on her side.
This is a good story. It is well written, and the plot is intriguing. For those reasons, you get a fav and like, but I do not like what's in the story. I do not like Chrysalis' plan, and I really don't like that she just stole something so pure and innocent from someone. Normally it takes some time for me to come to this conclusion on a 'bad guy,' but this? This violation of sentience? No. She dies.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
5681153
Well, all things considered, the only threatening magic that she has is the unicorn variant. Physical strength is significantly more easy to counter, since no matter how strong your muscles are, you're going to have a hard time breaking through something significantly stronger than your bones.
damn. this be good.
5680512
And that's what shows us the author is so brilliant. Even though it feels wrong I can't stop loving every second of it!
So this is exactly the kind of story I've been wanting to see done for Twilight/Chrysalis for awhile, but it's always either done horribly, cancelled, or shameless clop, which isn't what I'm looking for.
You do not know how happy I am to see this. Also, it's really well written, and I'm going to shamelessly favourite it. (The fact that the inevitable clop is actually -optional- is great too. So thanks for that.) After a few more chapters are out, excluding the clop, I'll probably also do a review of this.
oh...oh yes. oh every pantheon yes! this is so fucked up, and its my favorite kind of fucked up!
The writing, the dialog, the moral questions, the tragedy and set up!
the emotions, and how even the brain washed love feels genuine! All the conflicting emotions and utter inner turmoil!
this is simply too amazing, I cant help but giggle like a mad man while reading this!
I want sooooo much more of this
This is a very well written and engaging story, but a couple of things here bother me. They bothers me a lot.
First is the sense of violation through that spell. I can't imagine a worse rape than what occurred here. The other thing that is bothering me is that this story completely ignores all of Twilight's other feelings when Chrissy steals her love for Celestia. The author even outright said that all the hate that Twilight felt was still there, just with love added to the mix. It is entirely possible to both hate and love someone at the same time. And when that happens, it usually tears up the person feeling that volatile mix. Plus domestic violence... that happens a lot too. Sure, Twilight might love Chrissy now, but add in that not only that she hates her for past actions plus what she's doing now, but that her actions threaten all Twilight's friends and family... I simply can't see Twilight helping her. Loving someone does not toss all your values out the door.
Which lead me to another thing. This stolen love cannot last. Chrysalis is not Celestia. The love that grew within Twilight for Celestia was because Celestia was Celestia. If that love is pointed at another target, how can it be maintained? To make a comparison, let's say you love a mountain. You love its brisk air, its wonderful view, and it's night sky. Now someone magically moves that love to a dense forest. Okay, now you love the forest, so you spend a night there. You hate that the trees block out the stars, that it's hot and muggy all the time, and all the insects that pester you all night. So how long until you don't love it any more?
I see three possible scenerios happening here:
1: Twilight hates herself for loving such an evil being. Things get emo.
2: Twilight returns to Ponyville and quickly loses her love for Chrysalis. The original target of her love slowly re-earns it, because Twilight loved for a reason.
3: All of Twilight's other emotions get the best of her and she curb-stomps Chrysalis.
I suppose there's a slender possibility that Chrissy earns some legitimate love from Twi while she has her in the hive, but if that was a possibility it would have been an infinitely better plan to kidnap Twilight and try for Stockholm syndrome from the start.
I realy like whats happening in this story ... Twilight and Chysalis .... it's wrong, but to good xD
Looooove to see more
A wonderful rendition and setting up of this story. The changelings have always spurred my imagination in the literature on this site, and this is up there with the best of them.
Nice story. There are very few things that legitimately make me squirm but mind rape is one of them, and seeing it happen to poor Twily was extra skin crawl-y.
I like how you drew out the aftermath as well. It was so creepy and unpleasant seeing Twi acting like that. *shiver* That Chryssy line in particular killed me. Very well done.
5680802 its not rape if they are willing. Trick is. Twilight's been psychically/emotionally made ready and willing. Stockholm Syndrome without the Trauma to induce it. Nothing new has been created. Only re-directed. Yes this is vile as all shit and I hope we get a Twilight/Chrysalis ending because Im morbid and I want a morbid "happy" ending. Twilight eventually growing to fully truly love Chrysalis. But I'd also like an alternate chapter for the normies who cant deal with it where Twilight goes ballistic, snaps out of it, murderizes the shit out of Chrysalis and a good swath of her changelings and ends up spending the rest of her days as a broken mare.
It seems a lot of people are hinging on Twilight somehow pulling through Chrysalis' spell.
I think that the longer Twilight is under Chryssi's influence, the harder it will be break Twi from the spell. So we've established that Chryssi has re-routed Twilight's love for Celestia, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say the spell is permanent. It's forcefully induced Stockholm Syndrome but without all the trauma on behalf of the victim. For all we know Celestia could reverse the spell and reroute everything back to the way it was.
Also, I love these kinds of stories.
I was up till the part where Twilight asks Chrysalis if she's trustworthy and stuff, when I realized I ain't even into this kind of ship or smut. So that's a fine job you did there with the script. Mighty enthralling, and rich in regards to prose. Like I'm amazed at how far I got without losing focus and remembering this will bore me once it gets to clop. Bravo sir, you are really talented in writing.
I love this story.
Have to say that once I started reading this, my mind went straight to this picture:
http://cheezburger.com/8452145920/my-little-pony-twilight-sparkle-changeling-threatening-art
Honestly, I'm hoping the spell does turn into true love between Twilight and Chrysalis.
DAMN!! THIS is what I mean when talking about Netorare!! And I LOVED all of this story, specially the part about Salis telling Twilight about her own feelings for Celestia.
I just read this and I want more chapters, ¿Could this mean a Celestia vs Chrysalis? Tia hating Chryssy for stole her petit student away from her?
Even if the ''sex part'' was a little light, the rest of the story was.. WOW, just.. WOOOOOW :O
using one to break the others strategy i like that
5682220 Well, she said, Twilight would sacrifice everything for Celestia -- her friends, her parents, her country. So with that redirected to Chrysalis, she won't be happy if the changelings hurt people but that wouldn't be enough to break her out of the spell.
5683987 Would she now? As I remember, she chose to let Spike save the Crystal Empire, even though that meant disappointing Celestia (or so she thought)
She also went out of hiding, once Tirek destroyed the library and sacrificed her magic to him, both of which going directly against Celestia's orders.
Love and adoration, even at the highest level aren't the same as mindless following. Otherwise things like an argument between a loving couple couldn't even happen.
And let's say Celestia suddenly turned out evil all along and directly told Twilight to attack her friends. I somehow doubt that Twilight would comply.
5683987
Two things:
First: You're just a touch off with your statement. It was established that Celestia is the most important person in Twilight's life. That she would choose her over any other individual. NOT that she would choose her over ALL of them. That is a very large difference. It's like saying "Twilight, you can only save one pony. Who do you pick?" vs. "Twilight, you can save this one pony and burn all of Equestria, or let this one die." Do you really think she'd hurt innocents, friends and family on Celestia's order?
Second: I never said anything about breaking the spell. This spell sounds perminant with the way it was described. But love is not self sustaining. Despite common sayings, love is not blind. There are always reasons for people to be in love. When those reasons go away, sometimes the memory of them will sustain love for a while, or perhaps the hope that those reasons will return will keep love burning for a while. But when there is no reason to love, no cherished memories to feed the flame, no hope for a future...
Why does Twilight love chrysalis? They have no pleasant memories, they don't have shared goals or dreams, they don't even share values! And Twilight is a smart girl. She knows that she has no reason to love Chrysalis, and she knows that the love she feels is stolen from another. How long can that love last? And don't forget, love can turn into resentment and hate VERY fast.
I'm not saying that the spell will break, far from it. That love is gone. But the reasons for that love are still there. Once this mess is over, I imagine that Twilight will fall in love all over again.
This beginning chapter was too dark for me, unfortunately. I wouldn't be able to enjoy reading this story now, unless given some kind of guarantee that it would end happily, which I can't and shouldn't be given. Going through this I'd just be constantly depressed and upset, and waiting for that moment where things turned around. I won't be able to enjoy a story under those conditions, which is, as I said, unfortunate, because this seems extremely well written so far. My apologies.
All I can think is, "How will Celestia take this..."
Very well written I have to say. You really did an amazing job with describing the huge torrent of emotions that both Twilight and Chryssy feel. I love the way that you made the exposition at the beginning into such a fascinating dialogue between both Twilight and Chryssy, the hate the admiration, all of it! The banter between the two was simply gripping and absolutely fun and adorable to see.
I really liked the fact that in the five years of shadowing Twilight, Chyssy actually ended up developing feelings towards her. I can easily see another story with a similar situation of Chrysalis watching Twilight from afar and longing for her, but already knowing that she was out of reach and that her love belonged to Celestia and that she can never have her. It was really interesting to see that even though Chrysalis was basically bending Twilight to her will she truly does care about the purple pony princess, as we can clearly see in this very well done hook, but like Celestia her own duties need to come first no matter how much it pains her to do so.
I thoroughly enjoyed the explanation for what happened in the Royal Wedding as to how Love and Magic can be connected and how one can influence the other. Magic is known to be influenced by emotion, and one of the most powerful emotions there are is Love. I'm sure that Cadence could probably do the same thing as Chrysalis but with the moral dilemma that comes with that power I doubt that she would ever resort to it.
I wonder how Celestia will react once she discovers that Twilight no longer loves her back. I would love to see a chapter where Celestia notices the slight change in Twilight's demeanor towards her and that she no longer is in love with Celestia. I'm sure that we can get a ton of angst from that.
My only concern with this story is like many stories is how it will progress and what choices you will have to make as to what direction this will go. I hope that things will get darker, but not over-the-top. In this chapter you really made these two feel alive and whole. Conflicting emotions, pain, disgust, love, duty, so many things that made both Twilight and Chrysalis complex and deep characters, yet still very believable. Don't let that go, keep them that way and I'm sure that this will be an amazing story.
5682777 Mindrape is even worse than rape.
Chrysalis brainwashed Twilight into wanting to be raped, so this automatically makes everything okay, or what?
Amazingly great read, though I have reservations similar to Aburi I'm less inclined to care about them because of how much fun this story is! I truly hope you have more of this planned than just a sexual scene as I'd love to see your interpretation of how everything would play out.
5684778
There's a paradox in here somewhere...
5684778 No. I didnt say it was okay. But every fanfic isnt meant to be a "bad guys get what they deserve in the end". I was refering to actual physical rape. It cant happen if you are willing, and if your entire mind has been morphed into something else then it doesnt count. Also mindrape doesn't exist, we cannot say its worse than actual rape.
5684926 No, actually not.
I agree that rape-like scenarios cannot be labeled as rape, if the supposed victim is willing.
But in this case said willingness comes from mind control, which makes the crime behind it even worse.
5684945 I don't know if 'worse'. Horrible certainly, but not worse. You have to consider the total distress that this does to the victim, Twilight. The mind-warping itself was pretty unpleasant, but was it worse than if Chrysalis straight-up raped her? Doubtful.
Edit: Also, this>>5684939
5684949
5684939
Well, even though 'mindrape' might not be an actual word, I was referring to the concept of abducting a person mentally in the way raping abducts a person physically.
As for the question if it's worsen than actual rape, of cause it is. Raping is not the hideous crime it is, because it contains sexual intercourse, but because it violates a persons freedom on the most intimate level possible to humans. Chrysalis takes the whole thing a step even further and violates not only Twilight's bodily freedom, but also her mental freedom. What do you think Twilight would be more horrified by before the abduction? Chrysalis raping her, or Chrysalis making her a willing participant?
5685014 Equestria has a ton of magic spells capable of changing mental states. There was even a reforming spell. It's a reasonable assumption to make they don't view mental integrity as sacred as humans - for some reason - do.
So... rape is bad not because it weaponizes sex... but because it weaponizes something humans find intimate, aka sex. Gotcha.
Let me ask you this as a thought experiment. Let's say instead of using magic, Chrysalis did this with psychology. She sat there and, with advanced knowledge of how pony brains and emotions work, talked Twilight into loving her. Twilight is forced to hear and is forced to acknowledge this. Is this somehow just as bad or even worse than Chrysalis using magic to accomplish the same result? Because if you say yes, then people being forced to see a therapist by their family is 'mindrape'.
Make no mistake, it's a horrible thing, but there's no reason to believe it's nearly as horrible as you're making it out to be.
5685062
That is literally 100% correct. If it was not intimate, nobody would even give a fuck. There is a reason nobody weaponizes shaking hands.
5685062
By intimate I didn't refer to sex. Intimacy is actually defined as any thing that humans refer to as "so personal, no one else should mess with it without my consent".
For humans, violence cannot really get more intimate in this sense than by raping. It might be gorier, more demanding and overall worse, but it will hardly be able to get more into the 'sacred' personal area.
In Equestria these limitations don't exist, as mind magic hits even more personal than rape.
What reforming spell? As far as I know such a thing doesn't exist.
And counselling doesn't work that way. You can't make a person obey you interlectually by talking alone.