Equestria is still picking up the pieces after the defeat of Tirek, and everypony is helping out with the paperwork, even Rainbow Dash. Things change when Princess Celestia arrives, bringing with her a letter with some very stunning accusations of the exploits of a resident in the town of Oasis. Now, the main six are tasked with finding out if the letter was truth or fiction. Did this Mister Baker really do what they claim? Only one way to find out.
However, Mister Baker is not who, or what they expected.
Rated Teen for occasional language. Additional tags added for more dark themes.
Proof read and edited by the amazing SunnyPack , Snakeskin Ducktape, and Tyrannosaurus Tux.
Chapters (12)
Silly Celestia, they're not the Elements of Harmony. Those are gone
Don't you mean whittler?
5608376 Well, technically, I still see them as the bearers of the EoH. It's just they no longer have the physical objects that represented it. Plus, a possible theory is that it isn't really news that they no longer have the EoH... or the fact that I miiiiight have overlooked that aspect, possibly forgetting things, and that you're right and shit now I gotta fix that. Or I could just ignore it! I dunno, we'll see.
5608377 *coughs* Yes, well, surely you saw something else. It's totally Whittler, not Widdler. I mean, how silly would that be? Ha ha ha... ha......ha.
5608407 We ALL saw!! All the internets!
Commencing to read!
Awwwww yeah, my jam!
Oh man, I hope we get another chapter tonight or tomorrow... This is like reading a book about gravity. I just can't put it down.
I'm game, let's see what's going on:)
I gotta say this, I like the character... but the thing that sold me this fic?
THAT GLORIOUS DOC HOLLYWOOD REFERENCE!
Aaaaaand... Fave'd
DIS GUN BE GOOD
These guys must live way out in the boonies not to know about the new princess.
PONY HILLBILLIES!
Loved the story, I haven't seen to many new HiE fics that were true standouts in a while, this one definitely hits the mark. Great characterization, an interesting premise with the Human not showing up in the Everfree or Ponyville, and Princess Twilight actually doing Princessy things! Most glorious! I did spot two typos which are below for your editing pleasure.
*dare suspect his pony - dare suspect this pony
*Luna, Cadence Spike and I - Luna, Cadence, Spike, and I
I have a feeling this is going to get balls crazy.
I need more.
Please tell me he runs. Please tell me he just books it and Pinkie chases him down and forces him to party.
An interesting idea for a story. I look forward to the Mane 6's reactions when they find out just what kind of 'Pony' Mr Baker is.
She says that as if any common alternative, such as wood, would have hurt less. Though maybe as a pegasus, she's used to cloud tables... That would probably result in punching holes through papers pretty often, though.
Huh... I wonder if they picked this saying up from the human, or if the term 'devil' is used in Equestria without the religious connotations.
Well, that seemed racist. or would that be speciecist? Either way, I take offense to that. F-you, Mayor.
Now I have an image of giant pony balls stuck in my head. F-you, Author.
Wow, I can't tell if this story is misanthropic or not. I mean, couldn't he have just said something like, "I may not be a genius, but..."
There should be an exclamation mark there along with the caps.
5609443
Well, taking into account Twilight was treated like nothing special in Manehattan, not even being able to hail a cab, it very well could be that news doesn't travel fast in Equestria... Either that or nopony sees the out-of-nowhere princess as true royalty.
5609534
That's actually a stylistic choice, or, at least, that's what the "Grammar Nazi" College Humor video says. You should go watch it; they mention commas and lists near the end.
Now, as for the story; it has an interesting premise, but the human is teetering a bit between "Saint" and "Gary Stu". I mean, really, taking care of the town is one thing, I'd imagine any halfway decent fellow would try and do the same in such a situation, but rebuilding it apparently single-handedly? Come on. Even if I had the carpentry skills, I wouldn't go that far. I would join the effort and work with others as a volunteer, but I wouldn't take on the entire load myself. And using his own materials exclusively so as to basically be paying for the town's reconstruction from his own pocket alone, and without expecting reimbursement? That's just getting ridiculous.
People like this exist, I want to believe as such, but I hope you tone down how amazing this guy is in future chapters; having him angry and yelling isn't enough.
This already looks fucking great
*GOLD DETECTED. INITIATE FAVING PROCEDURE*
Oh, I love these kinds of stories. I'm glad people are still writing hie that has nothing to do with the two movies ^^ (please oh god do not let Sunset be in this story for lore)
Initiate phase one...
Power up the Fav cannon...
FIRE!
<Dubstep plays>
Wot rings y got, btch?
hm, im interested. let's see where this goes.
5609685 My HiE stories have nothing to do with the movies... But they're crossovers haha
5609778 Your avatar has gained my respect good sir
5608376 Twilight and her friends personally embody the spirits of the Elements.
Celestia gracious. More!
Dragon san
Looking forward to more.
Alright, I'm intrigued. Let's see where this story goes...
By the way, I noticed a small handful of minor errors:
Truly
I believe this should be - aura
Sheriff
(I'm going to assume you were typing fast and just missed pressing the "f" key twice, since you spelled it correctly a couple of times shortly afterwards.)
5609612
Regarding your reply to 5609534, placing a comma between "Spike" & "and I" or not is a stylistic choice, but I'm fairly certain there is no question that there is a comma needed between "Cadence" & "Spike." Otherwise some people might want to hear more about this "Cadence Spike" character.
By Jove, that's a remote town.
I feel myself reminded of "Diary of a Store Clerk". Which isn't bad, was one of the good stories going silent over the time...
So, one of those towns that are so far out there that they never get the news?
5609612
Remeber though, the town wasn't obliterated or anything, according to Celestia:
That's only a single building that was completely destroyed, which is a far cry from rebuilding an entire town.
As for him being a saint, I've heard of people taking on far bigger loads than that just for the sake of helping others, but most of 'em were still regular folks. I remember reading about one guy who pulled his neighbor's family out of their apartent when the apartment caught fire, and he didn't even like his neighbors, as he thought they were rude and made a lot of noise all times of the day, but when they needed help he (and some others) still waded into a building on fire to make sure everybody got out okay.
Saints or not, people are people. They've got their loves, fears, hates, thoughts and emotions like everybody else. And I'm not yet getting the vibe that this guy is some perfect "can-do-no-wrong" character, so I'd say he isn't a Gary Stu or something. At least not yet, but this is only the first chapter, so we'll have to wait and see
5609999
It reminds me of Diary too. I love how Mister Baker isn't calling himself something ridiculous like "Bearotaur".
5609534
5609967 It's funny, four different people read through this, and still some stuff escaped. Thank you kindly for pointing those out for me, much appreciated!
5609612 You bring up a few key things that I knew people would be wondering about, but not to worry, things will actually be brought to light in following chapters. Remember, this is only the first chapter, so of course a few things aren't gonna make sense right off the bat.
A good old fashion handy man! Brings my back all right.
I'll go ahead and thumb this up and fave it, even though we all know you'll never finish it.
like 200 mutha fuckers!
5609999 I suddenly remembered that too, particulary the 'Been in Equestria for some time already & has settled in' angle.
One of the things I like about that story is that the protagonist is well-aware of the shennaginans that tend to follow the Princesses & the Mane 6 wherever they go & deliberately avoids drawing their attention as he just wants a quiet life. I wonder if this Mr Baker wanted to remain under the radar for the same reasons?
5609951 Then why did Fluttershy say they're gone?
You have my attention, faving...
Now I will let these adorable baby birds speak for methreadbombing.com/data/media/52/moar_birds.jpg
You cannot stop the cuteness, resistance is futile.
Come on, make him run away, or deny being "Mister Baker"
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Like it!..........please continue.
5610168
Checked out his stories after reading that, and I have to say, this guy does indeed have an atrocious completion record. That combined with the fact that he is the author of My Little Dashie, probably one of the most overrated sap-fests in fimficton history, and I now regret even giving this piece a cursory glance.
I hate when author's don't finish what they start; I still can't fathom what possesses these people to even post their work in the first place when they have no intention of finishing what they start. "Well, I'm probably not even going to break 15000 words before I get bored and drop this fic, but I'm sure people will appreciated reading the first chapter or two before I leave things unresolved... Plus, seeing all of those, 'MOAR' and 'Update?' comments brings me a sort of sick satisfaction. MUWAHAHAHA!"
5610076
We both know this isn't going to be finished, so why even try and say that you will, man? Stick with one-shots, they seem to be all you can handle.
5609999 Love that fic... it's been in my tracking file forever, with no results...
Oasis? i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--1SFG6Wlh--/182g9epyf2j1zjpg.jpg
I will only read this if you cameo Shade into it. I loved/hated that bastard
5610260 You're not getting it. While the Elements themselves are gone, the Mane Six embody the ideals which the Elements represented. Applejack is still the epitome of honesty, Rainbow Dash the most loyal pony living, etc...
Each of them is an "Element" in that sense.
5610402 sorry fella didn't know everybody is born as a writter, it is not polite to begin something and stop it before the end but it is because him that you have the story, do you want more? The write it yourself
5610402 CONGRATS! YOU'VE WON THE PRESTIGIOUS ASSHOLE AWARD! HERE'S YOUR PRIZE!
i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/001/030/dickbutt.jpg
Now take your prize and piss off, because if you're going to judge my work on a fic that I did four years ago, and the fact that I'm slow at updating, ignoring the actual quality of the fic (not that I'm saying it's the best or remotely close) then I have nothing more to say to you.
Good day.
5610520 No, they're not. If they're still the EoH, why are they never referred to as such?
5610551 I didn't say they were, physically, the actual Elements, which are gone. I said they embody them, and in that sense could be referred to as the Elements.
The magical weapons are gone. Everybody knows that. You are making a fuss about nothing.
5610526
Hey, you're the one with 9 stories, only 3 of which are finished, and the longest piece, which is canceled, clocking in at an underwhelming 13,567 words. You've also been a member for 4-some years, and have been showered with praise for you first work, and so should have been able to manage more by now.
KiB, on the other hand, has written over a hundred-thousand words more than you over about a year with no signs of quieting, even though they have gotten far less encouragement then you have over your little incomplete drabbles.
So who's the real asshole here?
After a response like that, it almost seems you've been riding off of the high of your first success; trying your best to recapture the undeserved glory of My Little Dashie, and failing each time. Every time you publish a story, you expect it to receive a thousand up-votes before even leaving the gate, and when it inevitably does not happen that way, you give up and start again, hoping your next piece will be the next Dashie for you.
If you want to prove KiB wrong, then finish a story. That'll show him you can commit to your work, and we'd all actually see what you can do outside of one-shots to boot. A win win situation if I've ever seen one.
5610402
memecrunch.com/meme/XNGC/salty/image.png