“Beautiful...isn’t it?”
“What? The moon?”
Doomie stopped looking at the moon and tried to find something else to point out. “N-No, not the moon...I mean...that flower over there, or...that tree, or...uh...that mutant goat statue…o-or.”
Pinkie giggled. Finding it adorable that he was pointing out random things in the garden. “You were gonna say moon, weren’t ya?”
Doomie sighed. “Yeah, I was...g-give me a break, I wasn’t that good in seducing 103.”
“It’s alright, Doomie. I find it cute.”
“What? That I say corny stuff?”
“That and how you try to hide it.”
Doomie crossed his arms. “I’m trying my best, it’s just...hard to come up with nice things to say to a prey-er...mare.”
“I said it’s alright. You don’t need to be so hard on yourself, Doomie. We only met for the first time, you know, and I’m sure love like this will last forever.
“But, last time I heard, love at first sight doesn’t exist…R-Right?”
Pinkie stared straight at him for five seconds before bursting into a fit of laughter. Doomie stepped back in surprised and waited for her to calm down. After a minute or so of this, and rolling on the grass, Pinkie finally regained her composure and took deep breaths. “D-Doomie! HAHAHAAHow silly can you get? W-what makes you think first sight doesn’t exist?”
Doomie started fighting, feeling like a complete idiot for saying this outloud. “W-well…”
Pinkie continued giggling. “Doomie, if I didn’t even see you at the start, heheh...h-how could I even love you? I mean, if we never saw each other at the beginning, how could we like each other.”
“W-Well, shouldn’t we be friends first...or...know each other a lot or...something…” Doomie rubbed his neck, feeling like a jerk at this point.
Pinkie put a hoof on his chin. “Listen...Doomie, I know this is fast, but I really like you...and-”
“But this is too fast.” Doomie brushed her hoof away. “Shouldn’t we take it slow, or get to know each other...or-”
“What’d you think we were doing twenty pages ago, Doomie?”
Doomie scratched his head. “Um...being in a dumpster?”
“And what were we doing?” Pinkie leaned her body against his, making his wings slowly rise in the air.
“Um...we were...being...dirty?” Doomie tried his hardest not to laugh.
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “You just couldn’t resist that joke…”
Doomie started snickering. “Heh...Yeah…”
“But what else were we doing?”
“Um…” Doomie started staring off. “thinkunsexythoughts. thinkunsexythoughts. thinkunsexythoughts…” Doomie shook his head. “Uh...doing the do?” Doomie smiled. “You idiot!!”
Pinkie giggled. “No, silly. We didn’t even do that.”
“We didn’t?”
Pinkie laughed again. “Doomie, do you even know what sex is?”
Doomie crossed his arms. “Of course I do! It’s when you hug a prey, which then leads to you sinking your fangs into its neck, putting it to sleep. Then, once the prey is in a cocoon, you inject the eggs into the...the...no, wait...that’s for the female drones.” Doomie tapped his chin while Pinkie dropped her jaw. “What was the males again?”
“I-Inject eggs?” Pinkie shivered.
“Hmm? Oh! Yeah! My sisters do that with stallions when we’re running low on drones. Don’t worry, the stallions make it...sometimes…”
Pinkie grabbed Doomie and shook him. “W-what about mares!?”
“Um...if I remember it right; sex is just code word for feeding, ya know, when the tongue enters the mouth and the food just comes climbing in.” Doomie smacked his lips. “So tasty…”
“That explains the tongue...” Pinkie cocked her head. “So, y-you think sex is just eating love?”
Doomie shrugged. “That’s pretty much all I could learn in that class.”
“But you said you flunked it...twice!”
“I did.” Doomie said blankly.
Pinkie stepped back, realizing Doomie didn’t know anything about this. “Um...Okay...well, h-how about I tell you later.”
“Tell ‘what’ later?”
Pinkie looked away and scrunched her face, knowing that sex was pretty awkward to talk about. “Why don’t I just...tell you what we were talking about in the dumpster.”
“Oh yeah. We were talking about what we do, how I just fly around in a cave all day, and check on hatchlings, guard the entrance, care for the queen...”
“But what did I say about me?” Pinkie asked.
“Um...First you talked about how you have this one creature...Goomy, right?”
Pinkie giggled. “It’s Gummy. He’s my pet alligator.”
“Aren’t those pretty dangerous to have around you? They have some pretty sharp teeth.”
“He’s toothless, so I don’t really think he’s gonna hurt anyone when it comes to biting.”
“I guess that makes sense, but what do you mean by ‘pet’?”
“It means he’s my pet.”
“Um...what’s that mean?”
“It means he’s...um...what word would Twilight use...Oh. He’s domestic.”
Doomie tilted his head. “What?”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “It means that he’s a friend, but as a pet.”
“But what’s a pet!?” Doomie asked again.
Pinkie knew this would take forever, so she moved on. “I’ll tell you later. How about you tell me what I do.”
Doomie scratched his head. “You were talking about how you worked in a...bakery?” Doomie waited until she nodded. “And that you...cooked food, right?”
Pinkie laughed. “We bake things in the bakery.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
“Probably, but what else do I do?”
“You...perform parties?”
“Throw parties.” Pinkie corrected.
“How can you ‘throw’ a party? No offence, but I don’t think ponies are that strong.”
Pinkie laughed. “Throwing a party is just another way of saying that you’re having one, silly.”
“Oooh...So, you do that and bake, right?”
Pinkie tapped her chin. “I do other stuff. I hang out with my friends almost all the time.”
“But don’t your arms get tired?”
“Doomie, it’s another expression.”
“So, you...walk and talk with them...or...something?”
Pinkie was beginning to think he was pretending not to know what she was talking about. “Doomie, do you know anything about what ponies do?”
“Um...I only got a D- when I took tests about pony society...but I did do pretty good learning about griffins.”
“How good?”
“I got a D+” Doomie held his head proudly.
Pinkie was starting to understand what Doomie was talking about when they were taking this ‘too fast’. To her, it seemed that Doomie didn’t really know much when it came to how ponies act. “Doomie, you’re right...maybe we are taking this too fast…”
“So...s-should we slow it down...or go back...or just...start over?” Doomie flopped his ear stems, thinking that this whole thing would lead to a giant mess in the end.
Pinkie smiled. “Listen, Doomie, you love me, right?”
Doomie held his head high. “You’re the first mare I’ve ever met that hasn’t called me monster or run away...to me, that’s the kindest thing that’s ever happened.”
“That’s what you think is kind? Just...not running away from you?”
Doomie shrugged. “Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Why do you ask? Do you ponies think there’s other things that we need to do?”
Pinkie shook her head. “Kindness isn’t my element, but I think there’s more to it than just not running away from someone.”
“Really?” Doomie cocked his head. “What else do we need? And what do you mean by ‘element’?”
Pinkie pointed to the castle. “Remember when you and your other brothers and sisters were guarding the Elements of Harmony.”
“You mean those five necklaces and a crown thingy?”
Pinkie chuckled. “Yes, those things…”
“I remember guarding them. To tell you the truth. We were trying to turn them on before you guys came along, but we really couldn't figure them out.”
“Turn them on?”
Doomie nodded. “We thought for sure they had some power behind them, I mean, why else would you ponies come for them?”
“To defeat your queen, silly.” Pinkie then realized what she said and frowned. “Oh...uh...sorry to remind you about that.”
Doomie waved a hoof nonchalantly. “Eh, it’s okay. You said it yourself, our queen is a bit of a jerk. Well, in this world, she is.”
Pinkie scuffed the ground. “So, you’re okay about...well, your entire race being flung across Equestria?”
Doomie thought about that for a few seconds before coming to an intelligent conclusion. “Yup, I’m okay. You guys didn’t really have any other choice, did you?”
Pinkie shrugged. “It was either that or be controlled by changelings for the rest of our lives.”
Doomie smiled. “What’s wrong with that? You’d still be with me, wouldn’t you?”
“Yeah, but I’d rather not be in a dungeon or wrapped in a cocoon.”
“But cocoons are really nice to sleep in.”
Pinkie started smiling. “But I sleep in a bed, silly.”
“I’m pretty sure the queen would make you ponies stay in a cocoon.”
“Could I’ve slept in your cocoon?”
Doomie blushed. “I dunno, I’d be pretty cramped to sleep in it.”
“I wouldn’t mind.” Pinkie leaned in. “As long as I’m with you.”
Doomie chuckled. “Well, cocoons are pretty strong too, takes a while for them to fall down when they start rocking.”
Pinkie nudged him. “Do-Mie!” She laughed.
“What? I wasn’t thinking anything.” He brought her in for a hug and started laughing too.
They had a good laugh, but like all of them, they died down after a while. Pinkie looked up at him. “Doomie, I know I’ve only met you for a day, but I know this could be the start of something great, and you’re right. We need to take this way slower than it’s been going.”
“How slow?”
Pinkie tapped her chin. “Well, how about show each other what we’re good at.”
“W-What?” Doomie started shaking. “B-But I’m not good at anything.”
“Aw, come on, Doomie. There’s gotta be something you’re good at.”
“But I don’t have those flank marks you ponies have. How can I be good at anything?”
Pinkie laughed. “You don’t need ‘flank marks’ just to be good at something. Come on, there’s gotta be something you’re good at.”
Doomie bit his lip, knowing he did have one thing. “Well, I might know…something...b-but it’s really stupid.”
“OH! OH! You need to show me what it is, come on!” Pinkie backed up and started wagging her tail
Doomie turned away. “You’d just hate it, some of my brothers didn't like it, even those weird twins with the wubeyetis eyes hated it.”
“Come on! Can’t you just show it too me, please?”
“Pinkie, I don’t-”
“Pleeeeeeeeease?”
Doomie sighed, knowing once he did this, she would probably think he was the biggest dork she’s ever seen. “Alright...”
Pinkie bounced up and down. “YAY! What is it?”
Doomie cleared his throat. “Um...would you happen to have a microphone on you?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“DADDY DIDN’T LOVE MEHEHEEEHEEEHEEE!...WAAAAAHAHAAAAH…” Dash continued sobbing on Fluttershy’s shoulder, leaving the yellow pegasus to question her friend’s sanity.
“Um...Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy tried shoving her off, but Dash was practically glued to her. “I-I think you had too much punch…”
Dash sniffed in some snot and continued crying. “I-I neheheeever even got to say what I really…*sniff*...really felt lieeeeek...WAAAAAHAAAHAAAAA!”
“Um...to your dad?”
Rainbow Dash started breathing in and out as fast as possible. “N-no, I-I was trying to tell...tell Pinkie...t-then AJ...t-then Twilight...t-then Rare...a-and now there’s nohohopony leahhahaaaft!”
Fluttershy felt more confused by the second. “Um...Dash, I-I really think that you should...lay off the drinks...and can you please let go of me?” She strained to get out of the hug again, only for Rainbow Dash to wrap her wings around her.
“A-Am I really not that...t-thaahahat pretty?” Dash asked.
Fluttershy’s wings slowly went up from that question. “I...w-well, you’re...uh...good looking...and...uh, other...things…”
“W-whaahat other t-t-t-things?” Dash looked up at her; eyes completely filled with tears.
Fluttershy cringed “Um...Y-You have a great...personality?”
“W-what else?”
“Um...You have...great...flying skills?”
Rainbow Dash wiggled her mouth. “I-Is that it?”
“I-I’m sure you can do other things too, c-can you just...drop the wine glass and-”
“NO!” Dash yelled, drinking the rest of the punch before throwing the glass on the ground.
“L-Look, Dash, it’s okay...o-okay? If there’s something wrong, I’m here for you.” Fluttershy smiled.
Rainbow Dash hiccuped again and hugged her even tighter. “T-Thanks, Shy...y-you’re a good friend…”
“F-Friend?”
Dash finally shoved her away. “N-Now, if you’ll excuse me, I-I’m gonna continue drinking my sorrows away.” Dash made her way to the punch again, stumbling into multiple ponies and then crashing right into the punch bowl, spilling the drink everywhere.
Fluttershy only sighed and walked away. “S-She’s just drunk...I-I’m sure she’ll...yeah…”
“Hey Fluttershy!”
The yellow pegasus yelped and immediately fell to the floor. She turned around to see Pinkie right above her. “P-Pinkie?”
Pinkie smiled. “You seen Twilight? I’m trying to find the mic I gave her.”
“W-Why do you-”
“Because my friend here wants to use it.” Pinkie pointed at a pony behind her, who was acting very nervous.
Fluttershy slowly got up. “W-Well, I-I think I saw Twilight put it on the-”
“OH WAIT! I see it!” Pinkie pointed at the turn table and started pronking her way toward it. “Thanks shy!”
“But...but I-”
“Not now! I need to see what he can do!” Pinkie pointed at the pony, who just groaned and made his way to the table.
“W-what can he do?” Fluttershy asked, only for Pinkie and the pony to ignore her and bounce off. Fluttershy sighed. “O-Okay then…”
“HEY! FLUFFERSHY!”
Fluttershy yelped again and turned around to see Twilight with one of her ears flipped and her left eye slightly open. “T-Twilight?”
"Shy,” Twilight wrapped an arm around her while the other one held her drink. “Did I ever tell you your eyes kinda look like mine...but kinda bluish…”
“Um…”
“Did you alshow know” Twilight continued. “That mares our agez experiment with our smexuality…” She chuckled and leaned closer. “Hey, what you doin’ tonight...”
Fluttershy gulped. “Oh dear…”
Before I forget, I have some thank you’s to give.
First, and foremost, thank you for reading this fic.
It's a lot of fun (and embarrassing) to write and I'm having a great time.
Next, I’d like to thank docontra and Nyerguds for pointing out my many mistaeks in this story, in a good way, mind you.
I’d also like to congratulate QWERTY for being my 45 dislike, saying that Pinkie is the: “biggest slut of the mane6” and saying that: “romance like this is ridiculous” and that: “Love at first sight doesn’t exist” (even though it does. I’m sure someone will try to correct me on that though...) and to top it off, they said: “love takes patients.”
…
Not really sure why love needs someone in a hospital, I mean, Doomie and Pinkie are fine...they aren’t hurt or anything.
Anyways, thanks again for reading this fic, and I hope you stick around for more.
I just have to say two words to Rainbow
Good lord...that was ridiculous in a highly entertaining way.
Poor Flutters, though...
Sometimes, the greatest kindness is to give them a bitch slap.
Well I can see that flutterdash is trying to come thru the story
I swear I've seen this before, in the comics... or in some comics. probably not IDW
Ughh stupid site bug, again didn't show in my favourite list that you posted new chapter, but only because of being this on main page
Wubeyetis?? Shift and Lift?
6044679 I think I know which comic you might be referring to, but if so then it is a comic I accidentally stumbled across and was stupid enough to read further into.
(shudders)
Oh, poor Fluttershy would be so sore in the morning after that experience...
6044656 There's always some sample of lesbianism in almost every story I read. Now I have NO problem with this, I honestly don't. But I see it hinted at or implied so much nowadays that I really lose interest after a bit.
Also, since when did Twilight and friends drink alcohol? I'm pretty sure they need ID for that. XD
Twi seems pretty straightforward, and creepy(?).
6044768
I know, personally don't have a problem with it.
Though Twilight does have powerful magic so I bet powerful fake IDs just to get some drinks.
I think the mares should be early 20s so easy to alter the age a bit unless they reached that age.
6044618 Or this:
6044457
Ironic, no?
6044457
But... love at first sight doesn't exist. You can't possibly think that something like that actually, legitimately, really exists in real life, right?
Like, I'm fine with it in stories and stuff, but some of how you worded that comment makes it seem as though you actually believe in love at first sight.
At the very least, you have to know the other person. Otherwise, it's just infatuation.
EDIT: To clarify, I do agree that QWERTY was just being a jerk. First off, Pinkie and Doomie don't have "love at first sight". "Love at first sight" implies they made eye contact and then immediately got married or something. And secondly, it's ridiculous to criticize a work of fiction wherein the world is populated by Unicorns, Pegasi, and Dragons as unrealistic.
6044768 Well, that's because the main attraction to shipping is to see how two interesting characters would make themselves in a relationship. In MLP there aren't really many interesting male characters, so the shipping options for straight relationships are somewhat limited.
6044947 I hope people don't take my comment the wrong way. I actually support same-sex relationships. I couldn't do it myself, I like women, but if other people find genuine love and happiness with people of the same gender, who are we the rest of the world to decide what is right and what isn't? Okay, so it might be a bit weird, but so what? Since when has any living human being gone through life without doing something weird?
I've walked around the moors of my village in just my underpants once, and the summer breeze was friggin' glorious. Don't worry, it was very early in the morning and I sneaked back indoors before anyone else got up.
Don't judge me, I wanted to be one with nature for a few minutes, okay? Sheesh!
6045021 I almost mistook your avatar for something less tasteful for a second. I tremendously apologize for my idiocy.
6045123 You did? Now I'm interested. As what did you mistake it?
HAHAH OMG this chapter xD everyone is drunk HAHA best chapter EVAAAAR
6045149 I'd rather not say...but basically a terrorist Pinkie Pie.
drunk Twi! unrequited Dashie and Flutters
stop! you're gonna kill me!!
Ponies be drunk but to be honest I feel sorry for fluttershy I bet you doomie is a singer.
Mirror Chrysalis reference I see.
fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2015/038/2/9/mirror_queen_chrysalis_by_amoeba95-d8h23ke.png
injecting eggs? okay, just a tad too far there dude.
Everypony is drunk.:D
It certainly says something about the Mane Six's love life when Pinkamena Diane Pie and her Changeling boo Doomie have the most normal/stable romantic relationship of the group, especially considering they only met each other a few hours ago.
And I swear I'm gonna bust a gut if the next chapter shows either Doomie performing Peter Griffin's Drunk Pianist Performance or The Mane Six doing a Raising Hope Beer-Goggles Piano Recital skit.
I am enjoying this story very much, very much indeed. Despite what you might say about your own writing talent Atlas, I have yet to not be amused by your creativity, referencing, way with awkward humor, and lovable cast of changeling characters. As I had said way back when, it was your writing that made me become a member here (so much do I still love your major Stan fics, redeeming Chrysalis in them was just added gravy ).
In this chapter: drunk ponies
Remarks and corrections:
> which then leads to you sinking your fangs into it’s neck
"[its] neck". "it's" means "it is".
> “Probably, but what else do I do.”
That's a question. Needs a question mark.
> “What else do we need? And what do you mean by ‘element’”
Missing question mark at the end of the quote.
6046256 Well, seeing as how you replied to me, I figure I may as well address your two concerns.
For the first one, I think you are taking this story more seriously than it is meant to be taken. Later chapters indicate that it is in the same continuity as "YOU DID WHAT!?" and most of the author's other works are quite silly and ridiculous so I think you need to reconsider how you are thinking of the story. Also, do remember that this is Pinkie Pie we are talking about here so her being strange and making rash decisions with little to no logic is in character (to a point at least).
For the second, that is addressed more later as a function of ponies running from changelings on sight, something that is heavily supported by Ponyville's initial reaction to Zecora. The ugly truth is that ponies do tend to be fairly xenophobic so there are good odds that the changelings would be unable to establish a peaceful relationship no matter how nice they are. When you combine that with the fact that the changelings are biologically dependent on forming positive relationships with ponies, it is very easy to see how they could get desperate enough to invade Canterlot so they can tie down ponies to make them stick around and talk. It is true that we know Celestia would be willing to help them if they came to her, but they have no reason to think she would not run or attack like every other pony they have ever seen (assuming they could get a messenger past the guards) and trying to talk with her would tip their hoof and make an invasion impossible so can very easily be a bad gamble on their part.
oh great,
first Dash and now Twilight, Pinkie was bad enough.
Alrighty...
There's a lot of funny awkward in this chapter
6046089 no you know that whent EGGsactly as far as necessary to prevent EGGstinction (and also face huger reference HERE
) (that's a big MOUTHER FUCKER aint it?! ) (
This is getting weird, but funny, and i like it how much of an idiot Doomie is.
The joke with his classes is somehow pretty good.
6047098
I think you mean beau. "Boo" is just what you shout to startle someone.
Fluttershy says - "I need an adult."
Twilight replies - "You an andult, ans sho am I. Now com'er, smexy!"
6049701 You tryin' to get a point across, boy?
Oh my god, love the ending of this chapter! Good one^^
Poor 'shy.
Wonder what the next chapter will look like.
I would like to make a formal apology
BA HA HA!! Twilight and Rainbow drunk?! that can only lead to one thing!!
oh senpai, when will you notice me?
Anotr well done chapter! hehehehe, this is funny as balls man.
Why do I feel like this is a Family Guy reference?
Nice job! Nice job!
And then they all went gay. Except Pinkie.
6915965 Monster-ship. Rappledashlightshy. The supreme abomination! It's a ship that won't sink because it has life rafts and building material!
It's not a monster-ship... it's VOLTRON!!!
I am so confused.
Okay that last bit was just amazingly and hilariously terrible!!
Also why would Dash NOT want to hit on Fluttershy, ESPECIALLY after hitting on the others? Plus she's already got the in that they have been good friends for YEARS! <3
HAHAHAHAHA, I damn near pissed myself
The entire last part of this chapter is pure gold and I love every moment of it.