Cable did his best to blast the enemies that kept showing up as he waited for Deadpool and Chrysalis to arrive. As he fired away, he idly wondered what was taking so long, when he heard a strange voice reciting poetic fiction.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son. The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jub Jub bird, and shun-"
A massive dragon burst through the wall into the massive chamber.
"-the frumious Bandersnatch!" the dragon finished as it exhaled a fireball that incinerated several enemies.
"Hey look, it's Cable!" Deadpool shouted out from atop the dragon's head.
"Hi Cable!" Chrysalis shouted out, waving. "Don't eat him, Conny!" she instructed the dragon.
Cable could only stare. "...what the fuck, Wade?!" he demanded.
"She wanted it!" Deadpool replied. "How could I say no?"
Cable shook his head, deciding not to question that part. "...Conny?"
"We thought he was British at first!" Chrysalis explained. "Then we realized he's voiced by Sean Connery!"
"It's the Dragonheart dragon!" Deadpool called happily.
"...reciting Jabberwocky?" Cable asked in disbelief.
"The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!" the dragon roared as it tore several enemies to bits.
"Out of order," Cable clarified.
"He left it dead, and with its head, he went galumphing back!"
Deadpool scratched his chin as he watched the dragon - under Chrysalis' player controls - rip the enemies to shreds. "How did High Moon pay for all this? The copyrights and the special effects?"
"Chrysalis' agent took over the financial side of the game," Cable explained. "Both paying for everything and negotiating for the rights to use various things."
"I'm still surprised we got the rights to Jabberwocky and Dragonheart," Deadpool pointed out. "I mean, some of those people are quite stubborn-"
"As I understand it, anyone who refused to sell got eaten," Cable explained. "Since this meant Yog-Soggoth absorbed their essence, he got three judges to rule that, legally, he was those people now."
"Really?" Deadpool asked in shock.
"As I understand, the three rulings went, 'Oh god, please don't kill me I'll say whatever you want', 'The eye of your skull holds the secret', and 'Hoyo!'"
Deadpool blinked. "The last judge was Kirby?"
"Apparently, he felt a kinship with Yog-Soggoth in this regard," Cable explained. "There were a few complaints at first, but immediately after anyone heard them, the complainers promptly changed their tune...and turned pink."
"O frabjuos day! Calloh! Callay!" the dragon proclaimed as the last enemy fell. For no apparent reason, it then proceeded to dance the futterwacken.
Deadpool stared in shock. "...did Yoggy eat Tim Burton?"
"Maybe Yoggy is Tim Burton!" Crazy suggested.
"...I'd buy that," Stuffy admitted.
Cable decided, for the sake of his sanity, not to question anything involving an Elder God, Deadpool, or Chrysalis...listed in reverse order of insanity. "At any rate, we need to stop Clone-Face! He's-"
"Doing crazy things with the balance of life and death which threatens the stability of the space-time continuum," Deadpool replied. "Lady Death already told us. Also..." He pulled his mask up. "Apparently, Chrysalis thinks this is the face of a father, too!"
"Daddy!" Chrysalis called out. "Put your face back on before Conny mistakes you for carrion! I'm not digging through dragon poop to put you back together!"
"I...take it a lot has happened, then?" Cable asked.
"You betcha!" Deadpool thought for a bit. "Hey, Chrysi! Can I borrow your mecha T-rex?"
"Her what-"
Chrysalis promptly pulled her mecha T-Rex - last seen out of her saddlebags on her first day of school, and about the same size as the dragon she was now riding - out of her bags and dropped him next to Deadpool. "Mount up!" she called out. "But call him by name!"
"Right!" Deadpool shouted as he leapt to the Rex's back. "Ride on, Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom-Dino!"
The T-rex roared, and the two beasts began their forward march.
Shortly, they reached a gate sealed with three statues. Lady Death was waiting for them, dressed more normally.
"Atop this platform are three statues," Death explained. "Choose one, retrieve the spirit, and bring it here."
"Oh, this part's...kinda fun," Deadpool replied, reminiscing.
"Couldn't we do this another way?" Chrysalis asked.
Death paused. "Well, if you could mystically draw the spirits into the statues..."
A to have Deadpool do the trials.
B to have Chrysalis try magic.
"Wait, what now?" Stuffy asked as the control option popped up.
"If the players push A, Deadpool will clear the trials like he did in the original game, while we fight off the enemies attacking the gate with Cable," Stuffalis explained. "If they push B, Chrysalis will attempt to draw the spirits."
"B!" Crazy voted.
"B," Stuffalis added.
"B!" Cray-Chry voted eagerly.
"B!" Chrysalis voted.
"...even if I wasn't voting that way, it's already 4-2," Deadpool pointed out.
"Then lets make it unanimous for the novelization," Stuffy concluded.
Smiling, Chrysalis focused her magic. A green glow filled the chamber, and the air seemed to hum. Before everyone's eyes, three spirits flew towards them and circled the glow.
"Wow," Deadpool pointed out. "Didn't expect it to work so-"
"You must answer we, these questions three, or on the other side she shall be!" Chrysalis proclaimed in three voices that were not her own, her eyes glowing white.
"...and now Monty Python?" Deadpool demanded in surprise. "This is getting obscure."
"What is your name?" the voices demanded, Chrysalis looking up at him from her sitting position.
"Do they mean 'Wade Wilson' or 'Deadpool'?" Cable asked.
"Neither," Deadpool replied firmly. "They're talking from Chrysalis' perspective. My name is 'Daddy'."
Chrysalis smiled, and one of the spirits entered a statue. "What is your quest?"
"To stop Clone-Face?" Cable suggested.
"To restore the balance of life and death?" Lady Death offered.
"Nah," Deadpool replied. "I already did those in the solo campaign." Grinning, he knelt down to Chrysalis' level and stroked her mane. "My only quest now is to have fun with my little girl...and to be a good father to her."
Chrysalis' smile widened as the second spirit entered its statue. "What is the average velocity of a migrating swallow?"
"I know this one!" Cable points out. "You're supposed to ask African or European!"
"Nah!" Deadpool countered. "The spirit asked velocity, not speed. And it's supposed to be an answer true to me and Chrysi!" Pulling out his shotgun, he cocked it. "The answer is 9 meters per second per second...straight down."
The final spirit entered its statue, and Chrysalis leapt into Deadpool's arms, snuggling in as the catacombs began to crumble from the energies of the three spirits properly harnessed.
So I bet reality will simply crash so Crissy can get home. Seriously these two are doing great!
For no apparent reason, in then proceeded to dance the futterwacken
1. It.
Was that a MIB 3 reference at the end? Hmm... Not quite sure.
Eternal Fire: Okay, Chryssi is following her father's steps quite well.
Hells Fire: I would that she topped Deadpool's on this, she took a goddamn Mech T-REX for her saddlebags!
Solar Flare: Nest thing she will take out of those are all Metal Gears, including another REX, this time armed with a nuclear rail gun!
Real One: One thing I don't understand, is why repeat per second two time on the last sentence said by Deadpool.
I am left confused about quite a few things.
Mind broken repaired by next chapter
You forgot the ".81" after that '9'! I used it a lot in highschool, and I'm pretty sure I learned the value for the acceleration due to gravity before then!
6291592 Monty. Python.
British comedy that makes zero to negative fifty sense whatsoever.
I think you meant Cable here. He already knows not to question Deadpool. In fact, there's quite a few lines in here that seem like they're attributed to the wrong character.
Are we almost done with the game yet? The story arc's getting a little old.
One of my highschool teachers thought they'd be funny with the Monty Python line until I answered it EXACTLY like that.
Well... that was easy.
I love the Chryssie and Deadpool version of the Monty Python bridge scene. I do think Conney should be able to talk in lines other than Jabberwocky, he's an awesome actor and taking away opportunities from a guy who has been James Bond and Indiana Jones' dad seems a waste. Still, I can't wait to see how Clone Face fares against the Jabberwocky and a mecha T-rex.
6291528 Nah, Deadpool will break down the 5th wall barriers between dimensions and come to Equestria with her.
6291766 Yeah, and halfway through Equestria they'd obliterate the 6th Wall barriers. -_-
I think this is the strangest Deadpool related story I have read, to this day. This chapter, doubly so.
This chapter described insanity better than the previous ones
Then the cuteness came in the last part of it
6291845 Nah, for 6th they need Pinkie Pie. Just imagine, 3 4th wall breakers working together to break all the walls.
Not gonna mention acceleration due to gravity, as it has already been mentioned. But, that was really sweet with what Deadpool answered those questions.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good work.
Deadpool quoted the Jabberwocky poem, and is now riding on top of the Bandersnatch. All of my yes.
Same.
I know.
6291722
You really want to question the logic of a fic where an insane mercenary who can Break The Fourth Wall adopts a baby Changeling Queen?
6291922 Given that the fourth wall is the one separating the audience from the show, there aren't any fifth or sixth walls. But with Pinkie along, I'd expect to actually see them wander out of my computer, casually make sammiches from my food, drink all my soda and beer, and idly joke with and/or threaten me. And then when they left, I'd find my fridge full of cupcakes and an apology note from Pinkie.
6292164 I'm pretty sure there's more than four walls. Or maybe it's the Roof of Reality and Floor of Fiction???? That does give us the six sides of a cube....
6292195 There are actually 7 sides to a cube. You must never forget what is inside.
6291722
cdn.meme.am/instances/54172792.jpg
Chrysie has an agent, too!? I must have missed that part...
6292365
Yog-Soggoth. See the chapter where they started the game.
6292388 .................................................holy crap; 'tis legit.
Did you cut the trials only for not write them?
6292576
The trials had no importance, and no roll for Chrysalis.
6292582 Meh, I could imagine a couple of things that Chrysalis could do in the trials but yeah, it's not too much.
... At this rate, they can literally face roll Clone-face. Also, acceleration and velocity are opposite. Acceleration is how fast it can go, by the time it takes to get to that speed, while velocity is just how fast something is going. What you described is acceleration squared. What you want to describe is the speed of gravity. Which is 9.81 meters a second. So, if some one was ten feet tall, they would weigh about the same as gravity.
I bet that the final boss will change things up and have Chrysalis in legitimate danger and Deadpool will proceed to tear whoever is doing it a new one, heck he's gonna tear them a new 8. Maybe it could be Thanos or Apocalypse.
6291583 6292797 As far as Gravity is concerned, an object's speed increases by X meters per second for every second it falls (depending on what it's falling towards). So yeah, his statement is correct, but the answer is half wrong. After all, velocity is speed in a given direction...
6292878 He gave a direction though. Straight down.
... Oh please no, you didn't do that, you couldn't, dammit you are one GIANT dick if you-
... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!
... GEH...
...
And it recites Jabberwocky, great, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE BRITISH ACCENT!
... Geh...
Nevermind, this chapters got enough crazy in it already, i don't even care anymore.
Poisonjoker out, for a LOT of alcohol.
I'm just going to stop trying to understand this and just enjoy the ride. It's better for my sanity.
Wait... Sean Connery is the Dragonheart Dragon?
hmm... I knew he sounded familiar :D
I loved that movie.
Awesome chapter!
6292931 That's the half he got right.
clone face: I look like a Bond villain and there is a dragon that sounds like Sean Connery. Shit's going down.
Okay, we've had a Dragon, Mech rex, mentions of the Jabberwocky and now questions from Monty Python. What's next, Pinkie Pie making a background Cameo?
6291922 Didn't take that into account... You may or may not remember this. But think of that time on Digimon when Black War Greymon was on a rampage... Several parallel universes collapsing in on one another, resulting in total annihilation.
6295206 But that isn't funny, so it wouldn't happen when Pinkie Pie is involved.
6295315 Didn't take that into account either... Better crunch the numbers again.
Yeah, that wouldn't happen. And to be honest I can't determine What would happen. It seems to be Unsolvable.
6291722 the questions are about truth from perspective of Chrysalis. Not factual truth.
6296461 MULTIVERSE WIDE "WE BROKE THE MULTIDIMENSIONAL BARRIERS!" PARTY!!!!
6295206 Digimon fan! High five bro! *offers a high five*
6302223 High Five! *High Fives Starsaber34*
6300779 Alright! Party!
So, this went from ridiculously absurd (again) to really cute (again) so fast that I have no idea when it even went through the change.
9.8 m*s^2 not 9.0 m*s^2
6304365
And that's acceleration, not velocity. Get your physics right, author xD
6292797
Every single sentence in your post attempting to be scientific (so, every sentence except the first) is wrong.
Acceleration is not the opposite of velocity, it is the derivative of velocity with respect to time.
Velocity is the derivative of position with respect to time. Put another way, velocity is a vector (something with a size known as "magnitude" and a direction) with a magnitude equal to the object's speed. Acceleration is the derivative of velocity with respect to time, or the rate at which the object's velocity is changing. Acceleration is zero if and only if the object is neither speeding up, slowing down, nor changing direction.
"9 meters per second per second...straight down" does not describe "acceleration squared" (a fairly meaningless phrase, since you can only square scalar quantities, and acceleration is a vector, not a scalar), it simply describes acceleration.
There is no such thing as "the speed of gravity." Gravity is a force, which applies an acceleration to objects in the field.
Acceleration due to gravity at sea level at latitude 45°32'33" on Earth is 9.80665 meters per second per second towards the surface of the Earth. While 9.81 m/s would be a "speed," its only relation to gravity is that it is approximately equal to your falling speed one second after you begin falling from rest near the Earth's surface.
Gravity does not have weight, it is the force which imparts weight on objects. Since the sentence patently makes absolutely no sense (your height only contributes to your weight insofar as taller people tend to be more massive), I'll just say that it takes approximately 1.43s to fall 10 feet near the surface of the Earth (t = sqrt[2 d / g], where t is time in seconds, d is distance traveled, g is the acceleration due to gravity, and sqrt is the square root function).