Deadpool returned home later that day, his job not having taken anywhere near as long as anticipated. That, and when he was finished he hopped to the start of the chapter to make it home sooner. "Chrysi, I'm hoo-oome!" he called as he opened the door.
"Daddy!" Chrysalis called happily, buzzing through the air to land in his arms, hugging him tight.
"You're back early," Wolverine Uncle Fuzzy said as he lounged back in a spare chair.
"Did a rush job, with a hop skip jump to get home in time to put Chrysalis to bed," he replied. "She's never gone to bed without a goodnight kiss, and I didn't want her sleep to be troubled." He turned back to the nymph in his arms. "So did you have fun with Mr. not-sure-what-to call-him-now?" he asked, gesturing at Wolverine Uncle Fuzzy.
"Uncle Fuzzy is the bestest!" Chrysalis crowed happily.
Deadpool laughed uproariously. "Uncle Fuzzy, I love it! I'ma call you that from now on!" He then went back through the chapter and 'corrected' the name scheme.
Uncle Fuzzy groaned. "I'm never going to escape that name now, am I?"
"Not in this story, bub!" the mad merc proclaimed happily.
Uncle Fuzzy rolled his eyes. "Pizza's going to be here soon. Hungry?"
"I'm so hungry, I could eat the delivery boy!" Deadpool proclaimed. "Or girl, but that'd be a different sort of eating!"
"Eat her fish taco?" Chrysalis asked curiously.
"I didn't teach her that!" Uncle Fuzzy said quickly.
"Did your Mama teach you that?" Deadpool demanded. Chrysalis nodded eagerly. "Geeze, and I was counting on her to be the responsible parent!"
"Who is her Mom?" Uncle Fuzzy asked curiously.
"Death."
Uncle Fuzzy merely blinked. "Should have known." There was a knock on the door. "I'll get it." Jumping to his feet, he collected the pizzas and paid the delivery boy.
"So what did you get?" Deadpool asked Chrysalis.
She threw her hooves in the air excitedly. "Cheese and garlic and anchovies and honey and people bits!"
Deadpool gasped. "I didn't know the local pizzeria served people bits! I've been gypped for years!"
"They don't," Uncle Fuzzy pointed out as he took a tray of meat chunks out of the oven. "I'm adding them for her." Opening up the smallest pizza box, he scattered the meat chunks over the pizza contained therein amongst the glistening anchovies.
"Where'd you get the people bits?" Deadpool asked curiously as he opened one of the other boxes. "And how'd you know my favorite variety?"
"The freezer, and I asked for one of your usuals," Uncle Fuzzy replied, opening the third box to reveal his pizza. "Also, the little lady's picked out a movie for during dinner."
Turning to the DVD player, Deadpool spied the movie box. "Nightmare Before Christmas? I love that movie! How'd you know, Chrysi?"
"I pick it cause he's bony like Mama!" Chrysalis proclaimed happily, pointing to Jack Skelington on the cover.
"This is going to be so much fun!" Deadpool said eagerly. "I get to show you a special trick I do for one of the songs!"
The trio sat eating their pizzas and watching the movie, Chrysalis in her Daddy's lap in one chair, with Uncle Fuzzy in the other. As Jack's Lament began, Deadpool began singing along. He had a good singing voice, surprisingly enough, and pitched it to harmonize well with Jack's, neither overpowering it nor being lost in it.
"And since I am dead," he sang, "I can-" Reaching up, he popped his head off his neck. "-take off my head to recite Shakespearean quotations!"
Unnoticed to him, Chrysalis had mirrored his actions, though she wasn't singing.
"No animal or man-" He popped his head back on, but something felt wrong. He glanced down at Chrysi, only to see his own legs. Glancing up, he and Chrysi both let out a scream just as Jack said 'scream'.
"Did I forget to mention she started super healing today?" Uncle Fuzzy asked dryly as they quickly switched heads back.
"I get to be Piccolo tomorrow!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. Chrysalis clapped happily.
"So...how come you enjoy this movie so much?" Uncle Fuzzy asked. "I wouldn't think it'd have enough excitement and explosions for you."
Deadpool shrugged. "I dunno. I guess...I just identify with Jack, for some reason."
As Uncle Fuzzy became lost in thought, Chrysalis sat back to watch the movie happily.
Eventually, the movie came to a close, with all three singing along with the "What's This?" reprisal. As the movie ended, Chrysalis looked up at Deadpool hopefully. "Can we steal Christmas?" she asked eagerly.
"Oh dear god," Uncle Fuzzy whispered under his breath. For he knew those words would give Deadpool an idea...a wonderfully awful idea.
"This year," Deadpool proclaimed, "Christmas will be...ours!"
Uncle Fuzzy groaned as Chrysalis cheered. Then she began singing.
"Kidnap the Sandy Claws
Take bites off his face!
Steal all of the presents and
The dawn we will race!
Deadpool applauded her song happily as Uncle Fuzzy took a swig of beer.
After a time, Chrysalis played herself out and flopped over onto the floor, snoring gently. Deadpool gently carried her back into the bedroom, tucking her in and kissing her goodnight.
Uncle Fuzzy watched curiously. "You know, I never would have thought you'd make a good parent if I hadn't seen it myself."
Deadpool chuckled. "I know what you mean, bro. I didn't think I'd be a good parent either until Cable convinced me otherwise."
Uncle Fuzzy chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose you would-bro?"
"Well, if you're her Uncle, you have to be either my brother or her Mom's," Deadpool explained. "Who'd you rather have as a sibling? Me or Lady Death?" When he didn't respond right away, Deadpool prompted, "Well?"
"I'm thinking," Uncle Fuzzy replied.
"Ooh...we just got burned!"
"And by Logan...James...Wolverine no less."
"His name is Uncle Fuzzy!"
"Being burned by Uncle Fuzzy doesn't have anywhere near the weight as a statement."
Uncle Fuzzy stretched. "I just know you're going to start training her tomorrow. Okay if I crash on your sofa so I can be here for that...bro?"
Though it wasn't visible, Deadpool grinned widely. "Sure thing...bro."
Words cannot describe my love for this story!
What, they become bros and no Bro Fist goodnight??? I approve of Uncle Fuzzy adding home cooked toppings to the pizza, it's even tastier that way.
BRING ON THE DBZ LEVEL TRAINING!
AAAAAAH the signs of the Apocalypse!!!!!
*Looks at that specific blue armored mutant*
Not you... hush or Chryssi will get hungry again.
Okay this story just got moved to my all time favorites list. Just for the the inclusion of my favorite two songs from my favorite movie.
Are you going to have Spider-man?
5991897
Well, Chrysi did attempt to cook him in a cannibal cauldron back in chapter 3.
This had a huge helping of d'aw in it. I'ma put some on my pizza.
I just immediately thought of this when they started saying bro!
Technically Deadpool has DNA from Logan for his super healing, so technically they're brothers.
The first lesson for today is "Dodge"
How do you do that?
*Pulls out a bazooka*
DODGE!!!
Oh man I can already imagine the havoc she would create if you do the video game arc.
5991976
*dodges into a window and into a mattress* Pheewww.....
As long as the universe doesn't implode from too much d'aw, we should be fine.
...I'm afraid to comment fir there are fourth wall breakers about...
are they gone yet?
5991921 I forgot about that.
5992099 i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/321/248/c35.jpg
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTWOChJeWOIeoh_1LQfWLjCJAnTlLZnv0tcOYw_wHxRoelmnjt_:2.bp.blogspot.com/-jEsLsC809xk/UA2T2-Quv8I/AAAAAAAAAIU/pB4L6sI7mJs/s1600/Pinkie_Pie_4th_Wall.png
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t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSUwOQuASBQHsrAiYbKlsYCDDsh6ITjG9_C1lvMzi4mYhV9OPHF:iambrony.dget.cc/mlp/gif/226580__pinkie-pie_animated_questionable_blood_drugs.gif.gif
They are now...
OH GOD THERE'S ONE LEFT
I don't know much about marvel Christmas, but I do know if Santa is anything like his DC version Deadpool and Chrysalis are in for a tough time trying to steal Christmas.
5992129
memeguy.com/photos/images/the-girl-i-am-interested-in-now-knows-my-username-77896.jpg
5992077
*pulls out a machine gun*
DODGE!!!
I cannot believe I was avoiding this story for so long. I was concerned, but taking time just now to read what was published, I feel I need a slap in the face.
xD
Always love that gag with the kid saying something bad and the babysitter/whatever immediately jumping up with "I didn't teach her that!"
5992169 OMG Dragonball Z Abridged Refrence
5992169
*dodges into a trash bin and rolls into a truck Full of pillows* Mmmm Comfy ....
Well at least i know for sure now that i was always twisted in my mind, this seams all so logical for me and makes sens that i cant be right in my head XD it is just so awesome. ^^
5991976
Reminds me of DBZ abridged
5992191 *slaps your face with a purple dildo* Alright now pal?
BIO-DOME TIME!
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I fear the day she and demigod Pinkie pie get together...
"Are they..." Rainbow Dash face-hoofed, the cheese queen had been raised by Deathpool, she should have seen this coming.
"Yes they are." Twilight had set her armor to record it.
Chrysi and Pinkie Pie sang together "Shiver My Timbers " from Muppets Treasure Island.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX9VxBwvFFo
5992360 Ah, the voices are back, thank you.
5992219 *Pilots a helicopter and fires both bullets & missiles*
DODGE!!!
Let me just...*looks in mirror* yep...yep, got a damn cavity from how sweet this is.
Logan called DP bro...
The wall is weak with this one.
I wonder if Chryssi...
...would start her hive here/on Equestria with pure merc awesomeness.
...would learn how to break the 4th wall.
...would try to do the Canterlot invasion again with 4th wall and weapons.
...would judge between Deadpool and Pinkie's insanity and call it a draw.
Since when has Deadpool's mask not been expressive?
Well then, Deadpool should get his head in the game for Chryssi's training otherwise heads will roll. Either that or it'll go over her head first. I have no idea where they'll be heading for training though.
Too much cuteness. Also, I adored Chryssy's singing
5992608 That comment chain
5993273 DODGE!!!
Yay!
WolverineUncle Fuzzy calls Deadpool bro! Which, is actually how their relationship(when they get along) is like.WolverineUncle Fuzzy is the easily annoyed older brother and Deadpool is the overly annoying(and funny) younger brother.So, let's see, Chryssi's family is Deadpool as father, Death as mother, and
WolverineUncle Fuzzy as Uncle. So, she has two family members that send people to her other family member. Guess that means she'll be sending people to her mother soon enough.Poor Santa Clause...
And suddenly healing factor, no explanation? No? Alright then.
5993659
How she got it was explained way back in the first chapter. She got it by absorbing Deadpool's love.
5993678
... Okay, since I'm late, I know it is really late for me to say this but, that sounds so cheesy, seriously, I know she literally feeds on love but, SO freaking cheesy that this webpage smells like mozzarella.
5993687
It's basically the same formula of how Rogue absorbs abilities and life force, but more gradually.
5993692
Cool I suppose, it would make sense since love seems to convert into magical power as well as subsistence in Changeling biology.
5993258 DOOOOOOOOOODGE!
5992584 um. You are wellcome?
Yay! Love Merc and Moth!!!
MOAR!!!!!
5993907 Why. Didn't. You... DOOOOOOOOOODGE?!?!?!?!
This was yet another chapter full of hilarity. Head swap was quite epic!
So an uber awesome montage of training awesomness is about to commence!
Or Deadpool will just wing it and take Chryssi with him on a mission since she can regen now.
question will you ever touch the alternative universe story arc where deadpool kills the entire marvel universe and then travels to other universes to kill everyone in them as well.