Thomas, a human, has appeared in the magical land of Equestria, though it is much different from the show. Ponies of this world are all anthros. What's more, Thomas has been assigned as Princess Luna's royal concubine.
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The sex scene was nice, but what I really liked was Luna and Thomas' interaction along with the maids characterization. It was a great chapter.
6053526 Good to hear, cause there's going to be a lot more of that than the other.
I really like the interaction. If the story is gripping enough, the clop is secondary, sometimes unnecessary. I will keep following to see how things progress.
6053788 A reassuring sentiment. Thank you.
LONGER CHAPTERS!!!
Good characters. And exceptional dialogue that flows together well. Keep up the good work!
6055129 I'll see about more in the future.
6055935 Appreciated.
6056624 I'm really getting the hang of dialogue.
6056673 I promise to make the next few chapters as awkward for him as possible, just for you.
6056804 So basically it's the magic of pony names combined with playground shenanigans... I suppose I can accept this.
I like it.
By the way, you might get a better reaction promising to credit Patreon backers at the end of chapters and including a link there instead of linking to it in the description
6060677 Thanks for the catch.
I didn't expect that...it's not bad, but i think you forced your ideals on this mare too much, which makes me think you're still a virgin.. oh and i think the readers will miss out understand that meaning of this sentence or silly, so maybe you should reword it to make it simpler.
I loved rhis chapters.
For a story called "Horse People go Naked" the horse people seem to wear a lot of clothes.
If thats Character Interaction; then I want more of it!
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Alright, I'll give it a like since it's well written and because writing a fic takes effort, but I'm gonna stop reading here. I'm not a fan of the way that you've introduced the character, introduced him to Luna, threw in a little 'three months later' and some exposition and then had them fuck almost straight up. I haven't even been reading this for five minutes and there's already a clop scene. I could understand that if this was solely a clopfic, but seeing as it's nearly 100k words long I'm assuming that you're writing a serious, long-term fic, and skipping all of the shit that makes a good story to get straight to the sex doesn't appeal to me.
And yes, in saying that, I understand that he's a concubine, or a man-whore, or whatever, so there's that.
Either way, I'm not hating on you as a writer, I'm not hating on anything. You write really well, and there's plenty of people who've enjoyed this fic, by the looks of things, but I just don't think it's for me. I didn't want to be one of those people who're just like "this is shit eww no one read this", so there's my explanation for why. Anyway, have a thumbs up, and auf wiedersehen.
You mean Luna Right?
6982226 Nah. I was still trying to make Luna talk all old timey back then, so I think Thomas was meant to speak here.
He has hands... And a mouth.
Ahh, I've already read the first few parts of this story, then I stopped at Ch.5 when I all realized that this wasn't the kind of "cup of tea" I usually dabbled so I quits.
I found the allure... but pretty much not doing just it for me. So~ doshledonja [This is how I hear Russians says goodbye, please forgive me if I've butchered it all up]
10255462
It actually sounds closer to dos-vee-dan-ja with a pause after "o", short "ee" and softer "n" (technically it's "nee" there with another short "ee"). Or you can ask Google Translate to pronounce this: до свидания.
Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life.
11061215
They say that exact line much later.