The Garden and Her Gardener

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Princess Celestia and Twilight are spending there first afternoon in a long time together. Sadly, neither of them knows what to say to the other.

Featured on 6/08. Thank all of you for liking this story so much.

Coverart by 1Jaz

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 16 )

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CommisarSilver

CommisarSilver #1 · Jun 8th, 2015 · 3 · ·

What an interesting tale is weaved in this story. There's this weird detachment in the way they start the conversation, it makes for a good contrast tothe later half where it becomes more personal, from garden to I.

Nicely done.

Raistlin

Raistlin #2 · Jun 8th, 2015 · 1 · ·

I really enjoyed the description of the garden and its use on metaphor. Well accomplished.

Dr Judgement

Dr Judgement #3 · Jun 9th, 2015 · · ·

A Very well written story but I'm lousy at understanding metaphors.. I had to read it 12 times before I got it enough to understand what they were really talking about and even then I was left a bit puzzled but I do know when I read a well written story even if it is short and confusing to me a bit and it's very well written...

Silver Scrolls

Silver Scrolls #4 · Jun 9th, 2015 · · ·

6072300 That's, a really impressive number of rereads. I'm glad you liked it enough to do that, and glad you liked the story overall as well.

K1Krystal

K1Krystal #5 · Jun 9th, 2015 · 2 · ·

This is a beautifully written story. The way it transitions from casual to personal, and the hidden messages woven around the metaphor of the Garden and the Gardener. The flowers, branches, ripples, all contributing and expanding into a message to Celestia from Twilight.

“But as the creator the fear, of causing more damage than can be fixed is terrifying.”

I think this should be: "But as the creator, the fear of causing more damage than can be fixed is terrifying".

She left garden to itself

I think you dropped a "the" there.

But even with those, this is such a well written story! Take my like, you deserve it.

Dragonwaz

Dragonwaz #6 · Jun 9th, 2015 · · ·

Stories like these frustrate me. I usually read fast but on these I have to slow down a bit to catch their meaning. It's a great mental exercise to read stories like these though and it was written wonderfully, sans the occasional typo.

Azarias

Azarias #7 · Jun 9th, 2015 · · ·

I like the overarching metaphor of gardens, it was an interesting discussion.

Dr Judgement

Dr Judgement #8 · Jun 9th, 2015 · · ·

6072326 What can I say.. Metaphors tend to confuse me.. Guess it's because I'm more of the strait to the point kind of person but you are welcome..

Karrakaz

Karrakaz #9 · Jun 10th, 2015 · 2 · ·

Not bad. As a story, it's not bad at all.

I guess that, between the two of them, a conversation like this doesn't feel out of place, but it loses a lot of impact due to the fact that we lack the context for what exactly happened beyond a vague 'they drifted apart'. That said, I liked it.

There are two sentences where I think you had commas instead of question marks, but other than that I didn't see much wrong with it. Keep it up.

ClockworkMage

ClockworkMage #10 · Jun 12th, 2015 · · ·

I like how they kept trying to talk as if it were about a garden, and slowly failed bit by bit.

ForceUser

ForceUser #11 · Jul 30th, 2015 · 5 · 4 ·

This is going to be harsh but I guess its borne mostly from the ratings not being accurate (in my opinion) Apologies if it sounds too harsh. I do try and say exactly why I down vote when I do.

The story is flat and one dimensional, it takes a metaphor and stretches it beyond what is reasonable. For a lack in my own vocabulary I can only describe it as cowardly. That is to say the overuse of the metaphor allows all kinds of things to be suggested without actually having to commit to anything. Then there's the issue that it feels out of character for both of the characters, the one being a thousand+ year old ruler of an entire empire and the other an extremely analytical mind. The use of a metaphor itself is not the issue, Twilight is learned enough to use and understand them not to mention Celestia's expertise with them when the time is right. It just feels immature pandering, something that would appeal to a very young audience. It's a lot of words that doesn't say or mean anything. It was grating to read for me.

That said the writing itself is very good, grammar is good and the flow is good, things i am not capable of myself.

Exodust

Exodust #12 · Jan 28th, 2016 · · ·

I'm glad that I've read this. It gave me the confidence I needed. Thank you.

Silver Scrolls

Silver Scrolls #13 · Jan 28th, 2016 · · ·

6881095 Confidence for what?

Exodust

Exodust #14 · Jan 31st, 2016 · 1 · ·

6881901 it helped in giving me confidence to face my fears, which, the last few years, I haven't been doing at all. Most of the time moved on without me, leaving me in an unproductive mess until I had a random flash of inspiration. The inspiration I had to move past this also came in a flash while reading this, and while I understood it way better at the time, I at least remember that it affected me positively. One step at a time, I guess :)

Sypher