Don't spend your whole youth saving up for your old age, instead spend your youth doing what you want. Deal with the rest later. You'll be forgotten in 100 years, so might as well enjoy life now.
Imagine being in paradise, but be completely blind to it.
This is what Travis McLuck has to deal with. Arriving in a world of pure beauty, and no way to actually see it.
Being blind can be one of the worst things to happen to a person... but in some cases, it makes life more enjoyable.
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The stories of an independent black woman... I mean blind guy
cool
You got my attention.
662049
Ok, this was my laugh for the day, thank you kindly.
I shall be watching this with great interest.
Hmmm... I'm not sure if it would be easier or harder to write without describing the appearance of objects... How easy was it to write this compared to a normal story?
You have caught my attention tracking
Cool story so far
662086
It's a little hard. I had to back track a few times and fix some scenes.
Compared to writing a normal story, this was very different.
662114 How often did u accidentally write imagery and have to erase it?
662049 ಠ_à²
662114 From now, you need help along the way, I be there man.
i like were this is going
662121
Hmmm, six times.
also... Welcome to Paradise
this is gonna be epic
I'm finding this very interesting
Continue sir
This is awesome and sad at the same time.
Interesting, consider my attention gained.
Original HiE story?!?!?!?! IMPOSSIBRU!
Hum. Well, speaking as a person who uses a cane and, in fact, read this using a screen reader, I'm kinda interested in seeing how this goes. I'm always overly defensive when someone writes something about "my people", but I'll give you a fair shot.
Keep in mind, don't go dropping out descriptive imagery entirely. Blind people might not hear any better than sighted folk, but we do have more practise at recognizing and distinguishing different sounds. Tactile details are also very important to us; make use of these details in your story.
Also, your very first sentence has an error in it. Should probably fix that, first impressions and all.
662433
Really? Would you mind telling me more? It will help me greatly in writing this.
Man!
That was my OC's color scheme. Yours was blue and grey, mine is blue and white. And I was just about to make a story with him in it!
But oh well. I was aiming for uniqueness, but oh well. Hmm.... maybe a dusty-colored red or a green would look good on my guy...
Darn you!
Definitely going to follow this one.
A blind man with his last name as "McLuck"
OH, SWEET IRONY HOW I MISSED YOU.
662609
I made that comment so long ago... like a week I think. When he put up the concept thingy.
662515
And the error is that 'to' should be 'too'.
good sir, you have my full attention. Great job so far! can't wait to see more! liked and Favorited!
Interesting take on the 'Human turned into Pony' style of fic. Speaking as somepony who possesses all five senses (I've yet to evolve a sixth), this is rather well-written.
Sadly, I believe people like 'Derek' are all too common in this imperfect world of ours. Which is why, yes, Equestria must seem like paradise. It's so cruel, to be taunted with such a world in television. Doubly so if you're there, but can't even see it.
1, I want to find out what happened with Derek with so many witnesses around.
2, Why didnt the dog attack Derek? He had it coming.
3, I'll admit, I was hesitant when i say the characters list, but this is fairly good so far. You have my trust as a tracker. Dont squander it.
662515 I'll happily answer any questions you may have, and if you wanna run any ideas past me, go for it. But, as I'm sure you can imagine, it's kinda hard to just describe being blind/very low sighted to someone who isn't. I can give some basic thoughts, though.
He would be damn concerned about his dog (picture getting lost in a foreign country where you don't really know the language, and at the same time losing your map, translator, phone, and best friend). Unless you have some plans about this, maybe consider swapping the dog for a cane. You left the opening vague enough that it would be believable.
He should have a really well developed sense of spatial awareness (knowing where things are in relation to each other). As such, learning where furniture is, and having a good idea of his neighborhood, would be high priorities.
Probably hard to write for someone who's never done it, but he'd be good at telling others enough about his handicap to communicate what he needs from them. Don't write him as being too awkward about it.
stuff like uneven cracked pavement is a pain, once. Sighted guides often don't notice it, and don't warn the blind guy. However, its the kind of thing that he'll only get caught on once; that spatial awareness thing? You remember places where you've faceplanted, trust me.
Unfamiliar stairs suck. I'm sure everyone can guess why.
As I say, it's kinda hard to think up specifics. I do think you did a really good job in the opener; I meant to praise that earlier but I guess I forgot.
662794
662760
There are a lot of assholes in the world. I've had plenty of people hassle me, and games of keep-away were fairly common when I was younger. As for the dogs, people are assholes about them too. PETA is trying to abolish the practice of guide dogs, and lots of people treat them like normal pets, which is distracting and frustrating. As for why it wouldn't attack, it's highly unlikely that the dog would be trained as both a guide and a guard. The dog is extremely well trained and conditioned, and not being threatening is a part of that training. Who's gonna help a blind guy asking for directions, if his dog is growling at them? As for Derek, in this case (as he probably straight up manslaughtered a guy) he'd be going to jail. However, there are lots of cases of abuse that never get reported, and lots that are never resolved. It sucks, but it is a reality.
All i have to say is it sounds interesting, and i will continue reading.
Just remember to pace yourself, and grammar!
It's really interesting though...
Read 5-6 hours ago, then passed out after reading, so i forgot to make a real comment.
Really want to see more of this :D
At the moment, I quite like it. As 663356 said, pacing will be important for this story. I'm looking forward to the look at what exactly it would mean to be blind in Equestria, as well as if the world is adapted to fit. I'll be keeping an eye on this. :)
Yay a new Story
Continue :D
I REALLY can't wait to see how this one turns out...
oh this is perfectly perfect.
This should be interesting
He didn't have a cane to feel for things?
664210
Well, he had a dog.
Plus, as you'll find out as you read, Travis isn't like most people. He's slightly stubborn.
Do want moar.
FIRST
So is Hyper Bell like a Pinkie Pie?
665034
Not like her, but close.
First
EDIT: third great story so far
Gosh, Travis is more stubborn than certain applebuckers.
Ahem. Sorry. Anyway, another good chapter, although Travis is coming off as a bit of a jerk. I look forward to more!
665073
Well, he may come off as a jerk. But, you'll have to read further to understand him.
Just realized something. How has no-one done a 'Blind Human in Equestria' story before this? It makes things so much more interesting. Or maybe that's because you're a good writer. Or both.
Yay nice i like that Story. Really nice.
Poor Travis :D
665049 Speaking of Pinkie Pie, will this only take place in Manehatten or will he get to Ponyville at somepoint?
I love it