- Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen 5 minutes ago
KitsuneRisu
Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.
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I.. I think I'm going to be sick... This is truly incredible. It's absolutely raw and revolting. I found myself wondering if this needed an AU tag because of Celestia and the reveal. But oh god, this is incredible and I genuinely think I'm going to vomit.
I'm not normally too squeamish so that ought to tell you how much this got to me.
what the fuck
EDIT: fimfic isn't letting me upvote. What sorcery is this?
6405429 the vote is there, it just won't show up til it hits a certain number of total votes.
yep
Wow...what the heck did I just read. Damn that was dark but oddly enough I enjoyed reading it. I am adding this to my favourites.
-Frost
That's super fucked up.
But it's painless right?! It doesn't physically hurt.
6405651
well... not if it goes well.
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.
That was amazing.
I'm curious as to why you have Celestia act, well, the way she does. Is she intentionally scaring Sweetie Belle, or is it just to fit with the theme of childhood fears?
Urp.
Disgusting but captivatingly so. Even though I had a vague idea of what was coming, I still had to churn through this to see exactly what...
I found myself a little annoyed throughout that nopony was being upfront about what was happening—the unknown is the ally of the horror writer, but frustrating for scared fillies—but by the end I saw it as fridge brilliance. Rarity obviously would brush this incident aside, and Cheerilee would present it... well... cheerily. But for the bolder ponies like Rainbow and Pinkie, they don't speak up because coincidentally, they didn't grow up in Ponyville. Celestia mentions that ponies who move to Ponyville later in life have a worse-than-usual experience, so that'd be enough trauma to shut even Rainbow up. Plus, it set up for the final line of the story, which landed really nicely IMO.
My only real qualm was with Celestia. Sure, she laments that the Ponyville ponies really should be more forthcoming, but this whole babyfruit thing is totally self-serving and her behavior in the scene with Sweetie Belle was more than a little menacing. It turns the story from "unknowable forces torment us and we must survive" into "Tyrantlestia, but arguably for the greater good."
Dear Lord...-Pukes in Trash can- I-I lo-loved it..
6405350
Thank you! I'm a really raw and revolting person.
6405429
ALL THE FUCK, THAT'S WHAT
6405482
yep
6405625
Thank you. I try.
6405651
Um... sure =D
WHY!?
6405870
Thank you!
6405936
As of everything I write, I tend to leave things up to the interpretation of the reader. However, as of everything, I did have a sort of 'direction' in mind when I was writing it. Celestia was being genuinely nice in her capacity during the scene. She was not intentionally trying to frighten anyone. It was just a matter of course. What's 'normal' to her is 'foreign' to others, and this is usually a cause of discomfort. However, I do add that this is not the only interpretation, only my initial direction. Feel free to think of her as you wish.
6406002
"Captivatingly digusting"? I guess you could call this morbid fascination, huh. Anyway, thanks for the prompt. It was fun writing this. Thanks for the support, too! See you in Seattle's Angels again, huh. =D
*cough* I mean, thanks for enjoying it.
As for the subject of Tyrantlestia, I do have a thought about that: When writing it, of course, as you said, the unknown is the biggest hook of good horror. But at the same time, I did want to give it that sort of 'unknown in the known' quality, so to speak. I can see, definitely, how it overlaps with the idea of 'tyrantlestia' because it's been done so many times before, but that was never my intention, although I do admit that it reads that way. At the same time, I did try to subtly suggest that the fruit might be bewitching to some extent, with the idea that the fruit itself has something to do with it. But I think I didn't make that strong enough. Either way, it is as it is, and I recognize and appreciate your feedback. Thank you for the comments! I'll definitely be mindful of this in the future. (Or hire you as a pre-reader so you can tell me this BEFORE I FREAKING WIQAETAIN Q#Q*U3U93uf9A(%*$#(#% D:)
6406024
Watch the splashback, man D:
6406381
This was clearly bait for the specific purpose of having you comment on something I wrote again. D:
Error. HowToEven.exe has stopped working. Would you like to set Internet Explorer as your main browser?
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/le-miiverse-resource/images/e/e9/I_don%27t_even.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150826203108
I actually read this, expecting to throw up from sadness or something. Nope. I got horror.
This is a very weird story. imma upvote.
6406446
Oh, if only.
Still, despite and such... what the heck!?
6406410
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9468-image1.png
Preachin' to the choir, mang. *bangs head against gdoc*
why
I recommended this on my blog.
God... Damn... It... What the actual fuck did I read...?
6406002
I WILL HAPPILY BLAME YOU.
~Skeeter The Lurker
6406353 Aww, only because you torment me by not updating Harmony enough,
Woow. I got the chills... full body chills that make you shake like a fool... This is... creepy.
6406353
Can I just stop and say, this is so perfect an idea? I'm considering plagiarizing you to run a horror TTRPG. This idea is fucking horrifying, all I need to decide is who this... "fruit"... is for. On the one hand, I'll probably have to make it medieval setting because I don't want to deal with magic in a modern setting, but on the other hand, I really don't want any "dark gods" shit going on. I want things to be terrifying and supernatural, but not beyond player scope to resolve.
Atleast, y'know. At first.
6406479
You know, throwing up from sadness is a skill that not many have and many more wish they did.
Thank you for the upvote!
6406494
ALL THE HECKS, CLEARLY. Also because I like write horrah.
6406508
ulsterbusiness.com/thumbnail/510/var/files/articles/2012-08/girl_eats_sandwich.jpg
6406563
WHY NOT
Also thank you ever so much for the recommendation! I'm very happy to be surreal, raw and horrifying. I am pretty much that in my daily life anyway. Especially to children and small animals.
6406682
You don't know what you read? Hey, I don't know what I wrote.
6406686
I'm working on Dust next ;_; I have the skeleton done up for chapter 7 =(
But I have so little time to write nowadays. I literally wrote THIS story over the course of 10 skipped lunches at work >_>;
6406705
OR you have the plague. I'd get that checked out if I were you.
6406786
You very much CAN say that because it makes me feel good and that I have accomplished something. =O
And by all means, man. Use the idea. I was inspired by comments on a silly blog I made in the first place anyway, so the real credit goes to the people. I just... made it... more horrible. Let me know how your campaign goes! I think medieval setting would be exactly fine. I too think the power of 'anything magic' tends to be able to ruin horror, especially since it is this fear of being overtaken that is always a present and real threat. I'd go one further and say that (as was my original intent in the drafting), the fruit themselves are somewhat the cause of it. You don't have to necessarily blame the gods or Celestia for it; the 'real' culprit and cause might be something far more base and still be effective.
6406410 I reread this story like three times, it's that good.
I love it
6407064
That might not be too healthy, though!
Well, I did tell you it was good mate. I stand by that, and by the looks of it, I'm not the only one that thinks so.
6407751
Should've gone with that five nights crossover :(
6407865
Of course she survives :D
How kind would I have to be to have her die?
But thank you, genuinely. I try my best. I'm not a fan of shock horror either. :)
I much prefer the slow burn.
I feel the best horrors are not ones with a "killer" but one with a tense mystery that you hold on to, breathless to know an explaination. This was a perfect example.
Revolting and unnerving, hooking me from start to finish... most fics barely missed the mark for me, but not this one... damn...
It's stories like these that reminds us why this site needs a 'Horror' tag, because damned as I may be, this is one marvelous piece of body horror literature right here. A must read for horror fans everywhere!
Nicely done! Pat on the back for you! *imaginary pat on back over interwebz*
6407010
All the hecks indeed, you mad bastard genius.
I love your work - it has been documented pretty well throughout the years that I do - but this story scared me. SCARED ME. As in chills throughout, a brief nightmare afterwards...
... I'd pretty much say that this story is a close second to my all-time favourite, and it's really no surprise that you wrote them both.
Ya bloody psycho.
But
Either 'you don't' or 'you won't'. Pick one.
And finally, was that deformed fruit a G 3.5 doll?
Also, WHAT THE BUCKING TARTARUS WAS THAT?
Question about behavior of characters in story: I still can't quite figure out why no one would explicitly state what's going on. From a writing perspective, yeah, it makes sense not to reveal everything. But from the perspective of the characters, it just seems like someone would mention this, unless I'm missing something. I mean, yeah, it's weird, and it'd be really hard to figure out a way to explain it and not sound insane, but generally, people don't like to follow rules unless they understand why they ought to follow them, and it might save a whole lot of trouble to at least explain the whole concept of magic fruit and potentially grotesque abominations. My best attempt at rationalizing their silence is that the population is small. It only takes one to reveal the truth, but maybe it just so happens that the few who would reveal it choose not to.
Thing that was sorta missing from story: Twilight Sparkle? Not even a mention? If this scenario actually occurred, I imagine she would have some kind of significant role in it, regardless of what exactly she did. Since she moved to Ponyville later and is into magic and weird stuff.
On a side note, I upvoted this. I'm still trying to figure out why. I mean, it's well written and effective at doing... whatever it is that this story does... but I'm so astonished I'm not quite sure what to think. It's sort of like when you pass a car accident and you see the wreck and you cannot possibly fathom how the car would become contorted in that way. Now imagine that an expert photographer took a beautiful photo of that wreck. Perfect lighting, great composition. This fic is the photo.
I'm pretty sure that's a compliment, but it might take me a few days to figure it out for sure.
cdn.meme.am/instances/54716352.jpg
6408865
Well, THAT was a delayed reaction. :O
6408958
Thanks! These must have slipped past me. Cheers, mate. =D
And to answer your question, those things are actually the power of imagination~~~
6408101
Well, 'killer' stories can be fun too, I think. But then it wouldn't be horror, just thriller. =) I never found slasher movies to be horror, much. But that's just me, I guess! Not to say that they by themselves can't be done well.
6408242
Thank you! And yes, I super agree. I really, really agree. However, somehow I think that even with the inclusion of a horror tag, it'll just end up being abused like the 'tragedy' one for people who just think the sniffles is a cause to mark their works in the same vein as a literary hallmark. Eventually 'horror' will be synonymous with 'five nights crossovers' here and THEN we'd be in trouble. >_>
But yes. Knighty. Horror tag, please. Dark is too ambig, yo. =(
6408497
It was just awful, brah. Let's go with the basics. =D
6409294 nevertheless, cool story!
6409294 You must have a very big, swollen, sweaty, pus-filled imagination, then.
6409152
Haha, I appreciate the honesty! Thanks for taking the time to express your thoughts, truly.
Here's just some of my thoughts. It's by no means a defense for what I'd done, but just something to think about.
The truth is, you're quite right about the genre of horror. it's always been difficult to write horror to a certain extent because it always relies on certain tropes that keep it within itself. Tension comes from scenarios of helplessness and abandon which are only there because the plot calls for it. Someone is always lost in the woods. Someone always can't escape from a castle. The phone lines are always cut. People always make the stupid choices.
Even in really good horror movies of late (and I don't mean Paranormal Activity 149 or whatever) still have to follow certain tropes in order to work. There's a sense that if you think about things a bit too much, things just aren't explained well enough. Three of my favorites of recent times are Cabin in the Woods, It Follows and The Babadook, and even those three have glaring plot holes and selective character stupidity at times. The best that a writer can do is try to give a realistic diminisher for the reasons why - rather than just using bad excuses.
This is the curse of all genres; ultimately they have to rely on certain elements that have by now made up the tropes.
For this story, in my mind, and something that Pav here interpreted, the idea was that people were just hesitant to speak of it due to the situation and personal trauma. You can assume (in your own interpretation) that the characters had also gone through something quite horrible in on itself, which then passed down to Sweetie Belle. Sure, it's an assumption, but I don't think stating that straight out had any place in the text. It's also fair to say that given more time and more pressure, eventually someone would talk. I thought about it in the sense that, let's say you had a guy who went through (to give an extreme example) torture during war or something. They might not be very willing to speak about it if they knew that someone else had to go through it themselves. If they knew a way to make the torture painless and harmless just by following rules, they'd give it, but would probably not want to relive those moments by going into the details of exactly what happens as long as they know that all of it can be avoided through different means.
If you pressed them, depending on the character of the person, they MAY eventually start to talk. But in this story, no opportunity was given for the girls to do so. And even then, why bother? In a few days everyone is going to have to go through with it, and the important thing is to keep them safe first by making sure they behave. That's the priority. But it is for this that everyone had a different 'means' to not telling. It wasn't all the same. Dash nearly said something but stopped. Rarity ignored, and Cheerilee tried to paint it in a happy light. I tried my best to make it reactionary and that's the best I could do without explicitly stating this.
As for Twilight, it was a conscious decision to leave her out, and this one I can't make any excuses for. I just didn't want to include her because it would sort of move the story away from the bubble of horror and more into adventurey-science stuff. It'd be okay if the story were about HER and SHE were the one going through the horrific journey, but it's just from the perspective of a tiny kid who didn't know better. There was little reason for Sweetie specifically to visit her in my mind, especially when everyone was telling her it was normal (I think I added a line where one of them said something to that extent). And of course there's also the point that Twilight's probably involved or about to be involved anyway, since she's an alicorn now (or will become one, depending on when you choose to believe this story takes place). Otherwise, the implications are stronger than the writing of it for me, so I chose to leave Twiglet out.
Well, I went a bit long on this one, but eh. I tend to do that anyway.
I hope this explains a bit about the process, and once again, thank you for reading and supporting. I definitely understand your point of view as well, and your points have been considered during the writing of this story. Ultimately they were just conscious choices I had to make.
P.S. The beautiful car wreck is precisely what every good horror story should try to capture, IMHO. To me, that is a very ultimate compliment.
So, are celestia and luna going to "eat" this fruit? Or is it going to hatch into a baby alicorn?
And just for the record, your story was very good. Very similar to the works of H.P. Lovecraft.
But still,
That was absolutely amazing. The "body alteration" aspect was creepy enough, and you wrote it well, but adding in the sheer tension of the atmosphere thanks to the ritualistic side of the town, with the entire population of Ponyville suddenly participating in this dark, unspoken side of their culture? With ponies Sweetie had known her entire life suddenly taking part in what appeared to be a conspiracy against her? Yes. All the yes. That atmosphere combined with the physical changes was beautiful. Simply brilliant.
Wow, gosh, that was just great. Like I read King with a bit bright end. Very impressive. Keep me up whole story and even have kind of open ending. Like an' fav of course.
I don't ever comment on stories, but for you I'll make an exception, because this has to be the first horror fanfic (in general) in several, several months to have truly spooked the hell out of me.
There's a reason why I barely comment, because I can't really put what I liked or disliked about a story into words all that well, so I hope this like and this fav will speak for itself. This is the first time I've encountered you on this site, but I'm already hoping for you to write more dark stories because this was just excellent.
I do have some questions though.
1. Will DT be alright?
2. So the tail shedding really isn't natural? Celestia mentioned farms and "keeping it local." Do they put something in the crops, or am I just taking the meaning of "farms" here too literally?
Not gonna lie, that was pretty spooky.
If horror is a rare sight to see on this site, body horror is even rarer... to say nothing of finding either paired with any sort of notable quality. It's a stomach-churning pleasure to see someone go for broke down the path of aggressively sidestepping the show's normal tone, but at the same time, I feel like having to relate it to said show ultimately did you a disservice. Some previous comments brought up some issues with characterization that I happen to agree with, and I believe most of those issues stem from the inherent difficulty of parsing a convincing horror story in the context of a world filled with technicolor magic horses.
While it's a pet peeve of mine when adult characters talk down to children, I don't have a huge problem with that in the context of this narrative--although reading through some of your responses here, I'd personally caution against saying you have to rely on certain tropes demanded by the genre, since figuring out ways to subvert or reinvent tropes is, in a generalized nutshell, what makes writing stuff not suck. What I can't quite suspend my disbelief for is the fact that Celestia not only condones a process that victimizes innocent children and is violently and horrifically painful for them if undertaken incorrectly, but actively enables it as a way of maintaining her immortality. Frankly, that's unbelievable on both a micro and macro level: not only do those actions not match up with Celestia's (at this point) fairly well-established demeanor, it's incongruous with everything we know about Equestria that any character who would allow such things to happen would be accepted and beloved by their subjects and/or peers. Put a simpler way, there isn't much about this fruit-bearing process that doesn't violate every tenet of the "friendship" the show works so hard to hold on high, so it's a characterization issue that evolves into a full-blown thematic issue through dedication to the cause.
That's not to say body horror can't work at all within the confines of the show--I mean, I certainly hope it can, since horror's great and I love reading and writing it. What personally takes me out of a story, though, is what you sort of mentioned before: namely, when it reaches the point where the continuance of the plot takes precedence over the world in which it takes place. The narrative should always mold to fit the setting, not the other way around. Much as I loved the first two acts of this story, the third unfortunately doesn't hold true to that rule, and to me that's something of a fatal flaw.
(Also fuck you for picking on both best fillies.)
((I'm still upvoting, though.))
'Masterfully revolting' is a weird compliment to have to dish out, but this story's more than deserving of it. Ye gods, that was vivid.
6410680
I think comparing me to Lovecraft is giving me TOO much of a service ^^;
And as for what happens, I'll leave it to your imagination.
6411086
Appreciated, sir. I try my best. And I'm very glad you enjoyed it.
6411229
Thank you!