Warning: Rated "T" and tagged "Dark" for swearing and malevolent thoughts.
The story now has a YouTube reading, provided by mindlessgonzo and TheInvertedShadow! Check it out and give them some cookies!
Anyone at Crystal Prep who knew Twilight Sparkle would never assume that this shy bookworm with top grades in all subjects could hold something evil within.
Thus, when said bookworm turned into Midnight Sparkle under the influence of the magic she released, everyone present was shocked to see their classmate become a callous and ruthless she-demon.
Nobody could understand: why? Twilight wasn't evil... was she?
Failing to understand the reasons behind that horrific transformation, Rainbooms and Shadowbolts decided to ask the newest CHS student herself about that. Initially reluctant, Twilight agrees, revealing the side of her that no one had suspected to exist...
This story is a really good character study
Nice work.
I have to admit, I would likely succumb to that sort of power. But I wouldn't focus my rage on classmates. No, my rage would destroy everything. I would wipe the world clean and start over, with no humans.
Maybe that's why I enjoy the show so much. Its world is mostly peaceful. Any problems can be solved through friendship.
Sorry for rambling on, but this seemed like the best place to do it.
As someone who has fought off insanity through sheer willpower on a fairly regular basis, I think that if I absorbed that kind of power, I would bend it to my will, and then use it for my own nefarious purposes. Mainly taking over a section of the world, then isolating it from the rest as the section I became dictator of grows in power, eventually using the accumulated power to get rid of everybody who doesn't submit to my rule, and take over this pathetic dirtball we call a planet. After that, I would go hands-off and let it run itself for the most part, as I explore my powers and become even stronger. Power for the sake of power, even if I won't ever use it all.
I am a lawful evil after all.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
23:40_11/30/2015
6685343
You flatter me
but I'd like it very much if someone else tried writing a fic on this topic.
6685397
I wouldn't call it "study" per se... I just recalled some of my school experiences and how they correlate with Sci-Twi's story and my feelings back then, and meshed them (with some substantial changes) into this fic.
6685474
No prob, I wouldn't even call that "rambling"
That's radical
with whom would you talk? Because when there's no one to talk with, it certainly leads to insanity...
Same here... I got hooked when I tried watching it when geopolitical situation was messed up
6686128
You are quite sure of yourself... keep in mind that one day you may find even less tame-able power.
Sounds attractive
who didn't secretly dream of it? I certainly did.
Don't forget the moustache
If you ask me, Stalin had the coolest moustache:
causticsodapodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2013/09/stalin.jpg
I would collect all the scientists and tell them to find a way to colonize other planets and invent FTL... I want my own interstellar dreadnaught and to sip exquisite wine while sitting in captain's chair of that dreadnaught!
Are you a D&D fan, by chance? I am a player myself, although I mostly play Warhammer 40000: Dark Heresy and curse like a sailor when the dice pwn me.
6686128
BTW, I didn't downvote your comment...
6686428 First, I am sure that I would be able to tame the power. Secondly, I can't grow a moustache... my facial hair doesn't grow out longer than three-eights of an inch for some reason, and third, I don't play any tabletop RPGs, but I am knowledgeable about moral alignment and all of that.
The world domination thing, that is really optional, I only said it as the most plausible way to get where others won't interfere with my life. I could alternately go into the mountains somewhere and build a secret complex inside one, and gain power that way, or I could go the Bioshock route and make an underwater complex. I wouldn't make an airborne base, just because it would be too easy of a target (not to mention too easy to discover).
Ultimately, I am the kind of person who would make an unstoppable army of golems, for the sole purpose of having an army just laying around in the unlikely case that I would ever need one. Essentially, just to have the option for it.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
1:6_12/1/2015
Sci-Twi's a step below Shinji Ikari.
6686751
I am afraid my knowledge of Evangelion is non-existent.
Why?
6686428 I don't talk to anyone, but I suppose it leaks into my writing. But don't worry, I won't purposefully start WWIII or something like that.
This was a great analysis of why Human Twilight did become Midnight Sparkle at the end of the movie: how all the bullying keeping adding up (and why she kept researching magic) until she reached her breaking point.
Thank that Sunset was there to bring her back.
Guess we're two peas in the same pod.
In fact, I myself am writing the Shadow Five in a different light in my story; Shadowed Bolts. In that story, the five of them have to stop the constant fighting between the Defectors; a rebellious group of CPA students who torment other students who want the school to change; and the Changelings; the black-clad Disciplinarians of the newly-elected Principal Chrysalis.
But still, it's good that we're both trying our hardest to make the Shadow Five into more respectable and beloved characters...
Especially Sugarcoat, who I've given a really good headcanon to...
6687042 I hear you. Personally, I was utterly confused by how Twilight was portrayed. I didn't think any version of her (not counting the one from Good King Sombra's universe) could be evil. But I guess when you sent a long period of time being scorned for the very thing that makes you you, even the Princess of Friendship can think negatively about those people. I mean, we've seen her use dark Magic before, and you would need to be able to feel hatred to use it, so we've seen that she isn't incorruptible. Princess Twilight just developed a great resistance to it. But Sci-Twi doesn't have the experience. And once she unleashed the magic her device stolen, it reacted to those negative thoughts and unleashed her inner demons that wanted to make them suffer as she had suffered.
I'm just glad Sunset managed to convince her to let go of all that hate, showing her that there was somebody (six somebodies) who wanted to be her friends.
And well, as much as it pains me to say it, I suppose that in order to expose Cinch for the evil person she is and show the Shadowbolts the light, in a way, Midnight Sparkle was kind of necessary.
A powerful and profoundly disturbing story, all the more disturbing for its plausibility. It greatly matches my own thoughts on the matter and what may have created Midnight Sparkle for, as this story suggests, the black-winged monster was something that had long been hiding in Twilight, waiting to escape.
Your description of Twilight's disintegrating sanity as her psychotic episode took hold was quite chilling but nonetheless, rang true.
The ending was a nice break from the darkness, which was necessary due to the fandom that the story was written in. Sometimes, healing requires admission and we've seen that begin here. Not just for Twilight, but for the Shadowbolts too.
Meanwhile... Abacus Cinch should be a little more afraid today. She has drawn the attention and ire of certain powers that are normally content to be passive advisers and counsellors. Beware the nice ones, in other words.
Whoa... You sir have earned my respect.
I think this song would be fitting for Midnight Sparkle.
No you didn't. Actually, I knew at the beggining they were manipulated by Cinch.
Dang. This pretty much speaks to my thoughts regarding Sci-Twi's transformation too, especially as one who can sympathize with her plight. I had to deal with assholes all the way up to college, and wanting them to suffer is still kinda in there. Well done.
Expect a nod to this story somewhere down the road.
6686855 She just reminded me of Asuka for that reason.
Hah! No dislikes on this story so far, now isn't tat something?
Amazing. I think this is probably how she really was before all this happened, and I wish they had touched upon it in the movie more.
I'm not a real fan of this one. If the point was to show that she transformed because she was evil, it fails to address that the possibility that transformations don't only occur from evil. Consuming a vast supply of eldritch magic might have had something to do with it, though, considering she was tampering with things that she shouldn't have.
It's why i feel this fic is wrong when addressing Sunset yelling at Twilight. It was because Sunset was right, and Twilight had no idea what she was doing. "But I want to understand!" doesn't help your argument when you almost get the school killed. Yes, Twilight didn't know, but that does not create an automatic shield that it was all her fault. She made a mistake.
And due to your own writing style, I feel like making this story retroactive was a mistake, and should have been a tale that occurred stream of consciousness. The reason for this is Twilight is displaying very little in terms of emotional trauma in the present. This story is split into two segments: exposition, and story. The power of this story is displaying Twilight's own decent into anger and madness, and the tension is killed whenever the present returns along with the expositional aspect. Having very abrupt *FLASHBACK* disclaimers doesn't help either. Yes, it does explain when this is occurring, but at the price of story immersion.
That's why I feel this story should have been portrayed alongside Twilight and not retold in flashbacks. The past trauma isn't felt as strongly when we see her relatively fine in the present. Stream of conscious lets audiences feel the emotional punches as they occur without the disruption.
It's not that I believe that every tale that involves darkness requires absolute darkness, but it feels like you're trying to take a bite out of both cakes. The tastes don't match. Shit, I had a good metaphor here somewhere and I lost it. What I mean to say is that you're trying to have the dark aspects along with the recovery aspects in a way that doesn't quite fit. It feels like it would have been better to stick with one or the other.
Sorry, don't like this one.
OK, first off, good story. I will like and place this in one of my files. One complaint I have, the diolog was just a bit off in some places. Except Sugarcoat, you got her diolog down pretty near perfect. I think the problem is that in some places, it feels like Sugarcoat is talking when it's someone else.
Hope you take this as the constructive criticism it is meant to be.
6689211
You just had to say it, didn't you?
I am not mad, but the irony is killing my sides now
6687042
Thank you
6687117
I am actually tracking "Shadowed Bolts" right now, but my Tracking list is private, so most likely you aren't aware of that. So far, I am enjoying the direction of your story, but I'm reserving my judgement for now.
But I am surely glad that you don't go with Shadow Five bashing either
6687378
You flatter me
I did try to make it realistic, although I didn't think it would fall into "disturbing", even if I tagged it "Dark".
What exactly would you consider disturbing? I am curious.
6689497
I am afraid it was a bit difficult to make alternative descriptors for Shadow Five, but when re-reading, I didn't get the impression that it was difficult to identify the speaker in some cases... the perils of not having a pre-reader.
...yeah, it shows that Sugarcoat is my favourite Shadowbolt
I don't dislike or hate the others, but she "speaks more closely" to me, and I also sometimes prefer to speak very bluntly.
6690183
OK, I may have used the wrong wording for what I was trying to convey. What I meant was that in some places, your word choice and use of contractions(or lack-there-of) felt out-of-place with the character speaking but wouldn't have if it was Sugarcoat speaking.
Example:
Now, for the most part, the diolog here fits RD pretty well, except for that last sentence. I'm not very good at writing but I'll try to write out what I think would sound more natural for her.
I hope I did that good enough. But, am I getting my point across better now? If you disagree with what I'm saying, let me now and tell me why, maybe I'm missing something.
6689477
I didn't intend to show that she transformed simply because of being evil (although a seed of evil was definitely there), but because of a combination of factors where she felt herself cornered into a lose-lose position by people whom she started to despise and hate, and lashed out with all negative aspects that were gradually building and reached critical mass by the time she decided to unleash the magic. Does that not show?
Do I understand you correctly that, in your opinion, an unprepared mind (like Sci-Twi's) may have been twisted by vast amounts of magic regardless of moral stance?
About transformations occurring not only from evil: it's plausible, but so far in EG universe, evil transformations were done by evil characters (Sunset Shimmer and Dazzlings). Unless the third movie breaks from this line of thought (and I didn't see this happening), it requires that a seed of evil must be present within Sci-Twi - but it's not really visible, which is what inspired me to write the story in the first place.
Of course, we may have differing headcanons on that matter, so if you're inclined to share your thoughts, fell free.
I don't believe I bashed Sunset for that in my story. The addressing is based on Sunset's own feelings on that matter, where she regrets snapping at Sci-Twi, even though she was right (fully in best case, partially in worst case), and that was shown in the movie. I did not believe I could simply dismiss that, given that Sunset's outrage also plays a role in pushing Sci-Twi into the transformation.
I agree with you on that one, actually, but from POV of the story, this realization only fuels her negative side.
Err, how did you deduce my writing style so quickly?
Do I understand you correctly that it should have been an uninterrupted story running parallel to Friendship Games plot?
Should she display more emotional trauma? No offense, but I find it implausible that Sci-Twi would want to do that in front of Shadowbolts, who gave her enough grief over years and whom she even hated. The feelings of hate may be gone or suppressed, but I don't think she would simply forget what had transpired between them, and while I have no set timeframe on when this story happens, I don't imagine it happening later than two months from the events of Friendship Games. No person I know would want to display emotional trauma in front of their ex-enemies that soon, and neither would Sci-Twi.
Fair enough. I believe I get your point.
"Relatively" is the key operative word. She still carries emotional trauma, but is afraid to show it, so everyone would assume she's fine.
I am a guy who can pop a sweet into a mouth when eating soup and think nothing of it
Joking aside, I'm not sure I would have been able to write a story while choosing one of the two options, as you suggested. Within the time frame I had chosen (approximately from two weeks to two months after Friendship Games), I would have inevitably fused them.
You are doomed.JokingThank you for the criticism.
6690183 ...I hate jinxing the moments... bah, I've should've seen it coming through from a mile away...
6690248
Now I get it better. Thank you
In my head and in that sentence, Rainbow Dash was referring to things that were even further in the past than a certain point (that is asking the smart ones for help), and thus I wrote it in Past Perfect. But yes, your option would sound at least just as good.
I think it's my own snag coming up in that one: my brain absolutely dislikes writing characters speaking with mistakes. Even an underclassed negative character written by me would speak correctly, if not in high-society language
6690388
Don't be hard on yourself
6690410 I'm not hating myself, I hate myself for jinxing the moment even though I've seen it coming, and I was liking the likes only/no dislikes so far...
6690381
For the evil aspect, no it doesn't show because the logic in the fic doesn't align with Twilight's dialogue. It doesn't mesh the anti social personality traits with her desire to learn more about magic. This story is sticking with the first and running with it and ignoring the latter, despite having a clear greater importance in the movie.
For the transformation, I disagree about even using the title of evil in a subjective sense. She wasn't evil to begin with, didn't hurt anyone with her abilities, and willingly let go over her goals when confronted by Sunset. She's done the least harm in her one winged angel form out of all the movie villains. At best her actions can be described as greedy. But evil? Hardly.
For writing style, I learned it by reading the story. That's, er, kinda how you figure those things out. I figured that would be obvious. As I already stated, the back and forth sequence was incredibly disjointed and suffered from sever mood whiplash. That made it difficult to empathize with Twilight at times because she was switching from anguished to calm as it shifted from past to present. There's a reason why that's not done, and it is because it tries to make readers feel a lot in a short time and with multiple flashbacks can be straining. There's very little emotional attachment to Twilight in the present. That only occurs in the past, and thus why I state this story should have been running parallel to Friendship Games rather than this strange in media res.
At least if it was running parallel I would be able to feel for her as she experiences trauma. Here's she's nothing but a blank slate. It's not bad, but it's not good either. It's dull. That's the problem; you don't show anything about Twilight in the present. All of her pain and turmoil has already occurred. It's just a waiting game and the writing during the present is uninspired during these segments. She's not showing it to everyone else. Okay. But there's a problem.
She's not showing it to the readers either.
Don't treat characters in universe and readers of the story as the same person. I say this because it's written as third-person omniscient and not third-person limited, where bias can leak in through the cracks due to taint from whoever is watching. Perhaps Team Rocket Crystel Prep doesn't see anything, but let readers make their own conclusions. If the cast don't see anything, write them as not seeing anything, and leave what you want the readers to think about characters thinking about other characters (That level of recursion is exactly why you shouldn't do that) out of it.
6690183
The disturbing part was Twilight's internal dialogue with her own strengthening dark self and how you could read her mind disintegrating as all the stresses, betrayals and disappointments stacked up on her.
I love to see a sequeal to this, Where Twilight confesses to Candance and Shining what Cinch did, not just for herself but to prevent Cinch from doing it to other students in the future.
6690449
I did not think it necessary to focus on something that had already been shown in the movie, since I did not want to repeat something from it.
Am I correct in presuming that you speak about her demonic "Midnight Sparkle" form? (Just to be sure.) Because while I can agree with first point, and partially on third one (she did so only after being overwhelmed by Daydream Shimmer's magic, but still - willingly), I need to point out that she didn't hurt anyone because everyone managed to evade in time. But the last dimensional rift in the ground would certainly have led to fatalities if not for plot-required "join-in-face-of-disaster" moment for Shadowbolts and their help.
I am officially surprised. Since when greediness isn't considered evil?
And even if one presumes it isn't, can't greediness lead to evil?
And finally, this piece of dialogue:
I see no reason against presuming that Midnight Sparkle cares little if she kills the whole human world, as long as she gets what she wants, and everyone else - be damned. That doesn't count as evil?
...maybe it's mentality differences? It's not the first time when some of my thoughts and convictions receive misunderstanding among foreigners. In any way, sorry, but I think we'd have to agree to disagree on this point.
I apologize, it seems we had put different semantics behind "writing style". Among those fan fiction writers I had known and even talked to personally, there is a consensus that one's writing style is something that is devised from all stories that one has written, not just one, and I assumed (wrongly, it seems) that this thought is universally accepted among fan fiction writers. I'm sorry for misunderstanding.
As for the rest of your advice: again, thank you a lot, I will do my best to keep that in mind while writing in the future
P.S. It was not me who downvoted your first comment.
6690865
I see. I did not intend to make it classed as "disturbing", but apparently, my brain decided otherwise.
6691061
The best part is that I did not write that with a humorous intent. Princess Twilight did consider banishing Cinch to the moon for a thousand years.
6691313
Sorry, but I don't see a way for this to work - there were no witnesses, and Twilight didn't record anything.
This won't fly
6691396 While I see that evidence is necessary, whom do you think Cadence and Shining would believe: some stuck up principal who was all about reputation, or their own sister (in-law, in Cadence's case)? I'm sure that's all they were saying.
And so you don't misinterpret, I'm saying that both of you guys raise very good points.
6691380
I'm not miffed by downvotes anymore, particularly because it's hard to find those who don't give detailed critiques that know what Poe's Law is. That's not to say all don't, but it's easier to make snap judgments.
The problem with ignoring her desire to learn about magic to stick with her personality disorder is that your story doesn't cover all the necessary details. It's missing the big Chekov's Gun that is that desire, and not addressing it is poking holes in the theory that it was majorly caused by her torment. It wasn't.
In scientific testing, there's something called P-hacking. It means fiddling with your data in order to set the test result in order to get some kind of statistically significant result. You see this in things like testing foods to see if they are healthy for you. If you have a small number of people in the test, and check a lot of variables for change over the course of the test, the chances become higher that P becomes even lower, and thus you have a greater chance of finding something "statistically significant".
Now having Twilight's problems be social could have something to do with it. It might also be because of lack of friends, she was forced into a competition she didn't like, her aspirations were being held hostage, any number of possible social disorders, or consuming enough magic to see Azothoth in the great beyond where death itself may die. Any number of these could have an impact on Twilight's behavior. That's my problem with her depiction here: her eventual transformation is depicted as entirely one thing and ignores the other facets. I don't believe the story goes into enough detail in order to have earned saying that Twilight did what she did because she was hated by her peers. There's not enough to support that.
And I outright disagree that Twilight was evil post transformation. She didn't hurt anyone. Did she have the power to hurt someone? Of course, but she didn't. Assuming that she would is only assuming. It's not proof, or even circumstantial evidence.
And as for greediness? Hehe heh.
Here's part of the problem. You're seeing this entirely in black and white. Twilight is either good or evil. Greed is either bad or good. There is no middle ground.
This is wrong in a fictional sense and in the real world.
That's why I said your style didn't work with having split expositional and story scenes (I judged it on this story alone. Reading an entire bibliography just to understand that only means I'm going to be spending a lot of time reading. Take Steven King for instance. You don't need to read everything just to understand how he writes). If you jsut left it alone and let the readers decide on their own what is bad and good, I believe it would have worked out a lot better.
Greed is not a sign of evil. For one, evil itself is an entirely subjective term. To me the guy on his phone in the theater is being a greedy bastard by putting his own desires ahead of everyone else's. I don't care if it's the terrorists calling in the ransom demand for your children, turn off your goddamn phone.
Greed is a character trait. No more, no less. It's something that you can use to define someone in broad spectrum, but it is not in of itself an evil descriptor. Fluttershy is described as kind. is that a good term? What about the doctor in Auschwitz giving patients cyanide so they don't have to work in the salt mine? Isn't that a kindness? (SJ Warriors, I have no idea if that actually happened, so fucking chill).
I want this. Perhaps I need it, but maybe I don't. The guy cutting ahead of me in traffic is greedy. The grandma who takes the last Trixie plushie when I obviously need it more than her is greedy. Taking the pay increase and ignoring underlings is greedy.
Being greedy doesn't mean your evil, it means your an asshole. The two are not absolute synonyms.
Yes, it can lead to evil, but it didn't, as the movie showed. She was tearing holes in reality to get to Equestria. She wasn't trying to kill anyone; that was just something that may or may not occur. Again, that's not evil, that's just being a titanic asshole. Perhaps you'll say that being an asshole itself is subjective and her actions could be interpreted as evil. Too true, but so is the reverse. That is one of the problems with committing to something; you better be absolutely right, otherwise it begins to fall apart. If evil Twilight isn't evil, then the very premise is undermined.
Maybe Twilight would have ripped the entire world in her rampage. But what if upon seeing what she did, she saw the horror she committed and just shut down upon realizing what she became. Feeling regret isn't evil. Making a mistake isn't evil. That's the problem with trying to quantify known unknowns. You can't someone is undoubtedly evil during a situation that never transpired.
I don't believe it's a difference in cultures, I believe it's both in part because of your own particular writing style, and being a less experienced author makes you a little less familiar with some of the tropes and thought processes that come with evil characters, descents into madness, and experience. This story felt more like it needed to focus more on her mind as it was occurring rather than exposition to explain it to readers.
6686128
See, you say that now, but who knows what'll actually happen if to were to happen?
6692699 If I were to lose myself to it, well, you better hope that doesn't happen, because there won't be a world left to save...
Hence my optimism that I could slave it to my will.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
22:0_12/2/2015
...
Hm. This was really, really well written.
But now I yearn for a dark "Twilight gets revenge on Cinch in an extremely fucked up way" fic.
Something very painful, and magic related.
6693472
Not sure I'll write that one...
Thank you for commenting
6691851
Fair point. Criticism accepted.
I'm not much of a scientist, and my speciality does not usually deal with statistics. Thanks for that tidbit about P-hacking. It's interesting. Do I understand correctly that, in your opinion, I did this very P-hacking?
She didn't. By sheer dumb luck and the fact that she cared more about opening portals at that moment. In the movie, at least two beams she fires forces others (Humane 6 at the first time, Principal Celestia in the background at the second) to engage in evasive maneuvers so as not to get hurt. I can believe that she didn't specifically target anyone, but firing indiscriminately into a crowd among other directions (at least, that's how I perceive those moments) is most definitely not fine in my book, moreso if it's obvious that those beams and portals can be quite dangerous. And I doubt that the magic she fires at Daydream Shimmer is tickling hexes, most likely it's dark magic.
Granted, it's not Demon Sunset's level of evil, who tried to outright kill Twilight Sparkle, and her intents can be considered less malevolent, if we don't delve into the territory of "once she gets magic, what will she do next?". But the callousness and apparent total disregard of side effects of which she is already actually aware (carnivorous plants at Tri-Cross Relay), one of which could potentially be a total collapse of the human world don't let me leave Midnight Sparkle without an "evil" tag, no matter how minuscule her "evilness" is when compared to Demon Sunset and Dazzlings.
That doesn't count as circumstantial evidence?
Will try to avoid that in the future.
Depends on whether one considers mercy killing a kindness. For me it's an evil act, albeit it's a lesser evil when compared to work in the mines. And then again, who knows - it can happen so that they gave cyanide to, say, 15 people, and very next day, Soviet forces show up to liberate everyone, meaning that those 15 people could be saved.
And I'm not certain that the superiors of said doctor would approve of depriving Third Reich of slave resources.
Depends on the level of greed. If it's amped up to high levels, to the point when the person doesn't care about others at all and is willing to throw everyone else under the bus, disregarding lives, that's usually described as evil to a certain extent. (Where I live, at least.) And Midnight Sparkle's greediness seems to be really amped up to such a level.
Good question! The possibilities are numerous. Personally, I am certain that she would have called herself evil upon realizing that she destroyed the whole world.
No argument there from me. But before Sci-Twi showed herself through Midnight Sparkle persona and felt regret, she had to see Spike's ultra-sad face (in my headcanon, that's when she realized that she did have a friend in Spike, but did not pay attention to it sooner) and get zapped by Daydream Shimmer. Without that, Midnight Sparkle wouldn't have stopped.
In fact, I have come to view Sci-Twi and Midnight Sparkle as two different entities, because they are so totally unlike each other. And when the former unleashed the magic, the latter came into existence and took over her. Note that I attribute the evilness only to Midnight Sparkle. But personally, I find it very hard to believe that Midnight Sparkle would have come to existence without Sci-Twi having some negative element within her (maybe not evil per se, but negative) as a fertile soil for the former to grow upon. I have always believed firmly that a person has both good and evil within them, and this belief is attributed by me to fictional characters too. This principle hasn't failed me before.
Again, thank you for valid points.
6691619
Sorry I missed your comment.
Shining would most certainly believe his sister, I think, and Cadence would be more inclined to believe her after Friendship Games, but still, proof is needed.
Of course, Shining and Cadence may try catching Cinch at something else as retribution, but this would be... problematic. I'm very certain that Cinch would watch her step and be extra-careful.
Also: TBH, I don't think that Shining and Cadence are married in human world... I got the impression that Shining had a crush, and maybe it was reciprocated, but I wouldn't go beyond them dating.
Besides, dating the Dean of the school which you graduated from... isn't that weird a bit with age difference? I'm only theorizing, but Cadence appears to be in early thirties (my own guess is 32-33), while Shining Armor can be considered... I don't know, 27 years old at max.
"Both of you guys" - you mean me and Journeyman?
6696881 Of course I meant both you and Journeyman. And as for the marital status in the human world, we don't know for sure if the two are a couple or not. I was just throwing it out there. Besides, I fairly certain their around the same age. And like I said before, I did say that proof was indeed still needed. I just thought it would be OOC if they put their faith in someone besides Twily, especially Cinch. That one time pony Shining did was under...certain conditions.
this story confirms it: Pinkie Pie is beyond what is considered normal in ANY dimension...
6708584
She's Pinkie Pie. Any attempts to find an explanation will destroy your brain
My brain: Not me.
Me: Somebody wants "Cupcakes"?
My brain: NOOOO! OK, I'm sorry!
Me: Good boy
Found an error.
"as" should be "ask"
you are missing the K
6713379
Fixed. Thank you for pointing that out.
The things that get through my proof-reading...
6714041 it was literally the only error I found in the entire story. You did an amazing job if that was the only thing you missed.
6714050
Thanks