I came here to eat breadcrumbs and indiscriminately shit on cars. And I'm all out of breadcrumbs...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not a bad start at all. I'm curious to see where this goes.
I'm very interested in knowing where the story goes. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Moar
I'm looking forward to see more of this story
The variety of new fetishes i learn about through this community is a neverending source of amusement for me.
A dirty diaper is not really my kinda kink, but damn if I'm not curious where this is going.
And to be honest the image of Twilight acting like a baby is cute as hell.
Make her chew on her own mane, thats one of my favorite Foal!Twilight pictures. Pretty please?
I'm liking where this is going...
not bad but rushed. Make Twilight do some foal games before she messes her diaper. The messing should be the very last thing Twilight does, maybe it would be a good idea to not have her do it at all before Chrysalis shows up. You can make a reference that she prepared herself to, and is actually planning not to mess. That she isn't willing to go that far but Chrysalis makes her.
More please. I'm enjoying it so far.
6798125 I don't see how Twilight messing herself now makes this story rushed. Are you of the mindset that using a diaper should be the absolute last thing anypony does in a diaperfic or something?
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Glad you guys want to see where this goes. Hopefully I can have chapter two up by next week.
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yes, it should be the climax. You can only do it once a day in a story.
6798759 I have read a lot of diaperfics that have that as the climax, but that's not really the direction that I wanted to take with this story. My goal is to do something a little different than the norm. As for the once a day rule, I don't know where you got that from.
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Still it's too quick and it would help for things to happen in between Twilight diapering herself and messing it.
I heard it that a professional diaper story writer uses it as a rule of thumb.
Though maybe because of the diet of ponies that rule doesn't aptly to them. Nevertheless many diaper writers have them mess over and over and you should try to avoid that.
6799161 You don't have to worry, this isn't going to devolve into Twilight messing herself multiple times a chapter or anything. The reason she used her diaper in the first chapter was just because it aroused her.
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I still think you should try to expand the first chapter a little and add some foal games that she tries but aren't fun because she's alone. That will show her desire to have a caretaker.
I thought the pacing was fine. It established her fetish and about how far she'd take it as set up for her character for the main part of the story in Chrysalis's grasp one way or another (at least I assume that's where this is going).
Very interested to see what Chrysalis plans to do with her. Maybe she will wake up with a headache, in a nursery with "Celestia" caring for her...
6805316 Well, no spoilers or anything, but you may be on the right track there.
Somewhat surprised Chrysalis doesn't bother keeping up the charade any longer.
Oh no. This is terrible. Instead of torturing Twilight, she's babying her: which Twilight partly likes. Talk about unbearable cuteness.
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Can't wait to see what happens next!
Good plan. Can't wait to see what happens next.
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Twilight would've quickly figured out something was amiss. Better end the charade on her own terms and humiliate Twilight a bit before she breaks her using her own fetish against herself.
On an unrelated note, I don't think Twilight will remain forever in Chrysalis's custody: her "replacement" is bound to betray themself sooner or later... hopefully later.
I know that this is a fetish, but I still feel like I need a break from existence. I think that means this is a great fic
I've just had an idea: if the 'replacement' plays the role for a few days and then disappears, everybody will be looking for Twilight but they might not suspect the changelings straight away. It's just an interesting thought .
Well this is an intesting twist for sure . I mean the duplicate can't be perrfect but hey have been doing recon on her for some time so this drone will certainly keep up a act well Enough. Dang who knew fetishes could fuel changlings . Just have a few at clubs and such and boom free love
Well ... This certainly puts a perspective on things. The fake Twilight might get away with it for while, as long as it can learn to put up a better act.
For one, it shouldn't refer to pony customs like that, because that's a dead give-away. Also, it can't hide behind the 'tired from reading so much' excuse forever. But all together: a reasonable start.
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This is interesting.
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Awwwww! It's kind of cute seeing Twilight babied like that ... apart from the carer being Chrysalis, she's been kidnapped and imprisoned in the changeling hive, and she's partially forced to act like a foal. Uh oh, you can't hide some stuff from Chrysalis, Twilight. She's a being that feeds on emotions, remember?
Seriously, who is she trying to convince? The readers, or herself?
Hmm, I do hope this has a sweet ending. Chrysalis is starting to make me think she could be warming up to Twilight.
I would think Twilight would be more rebellious. That she is willing to endure a rash for hours just to not let Chrysalis win.
As I expected, Twilight's replacement is completely inept. Thankfully for Chrysalis (and for us), Spike remains hilariously oblivious. I hope the rest of Twilight's friends will be similarly oblivious, at least until we can see Chrysalis getting a steady supply of love out of Twilight.
Yay! Some more Chryssie + Twilight!
And that is why Chrysalis is really impressive: villain-wise, in my opinion. Tactics and strategies make her really competent. Well done.
Awww, this is so cute!!! Cuteness factor has just shot up to 100!
So Twilight's started to give up, eh?
Somehow, at this point I don't think she will let Twilight go. Also Twilight needs to stay on top of the situation.
This is getting more interesting each chapter.
I can't wait to see what else is in store for Twilight and Chrysalis.
Twilight can be quite aggressive so I would think she would resist much more fiercely. That she's very violent and that Chrysalis may have to punish her.
Love the mix of forced but the foal liking the treatment and then rationalizing that she just has to play along in the faith hope of getting out . Oh a twist that chysilas likes being a mommy
cute so far
I can see Twilight's Replacement BEGGING Chrissy to let him (her?) return. And Twilight and Chrissy making a deal wherein, she releases Twilight, in exchange Twilight returning to Chrissy a few times a month to play baby for Chrissy.
6910503 Not a bad idea, though why not raise the bar a bit? Maybe start a business out of accommodating Abs like Twilight run by Changelings who gather the love. They bring it back to the hive to be distributed and it becomes a self-sustaining food source.
6910527 That's a very good idea! It would be a win-win for all parties for sure
6910536 Though if they make peaceful relations with Equestria it's gonna be an awkward conversation on how they are now able to gather enough love to not resort to invasion.
6910590 Not if that a secrecy clause in the changeling's Clients contracts, that prohibits the changelings or Chrissy from discussing her Clients "hobbies" with unapproved ponies
This is cute. A minor nitpick though: isn't Smarty Pants supposed to be female? (Twilight refers to her doll as a "she" in Lesson Zero)
Ooh, we've got a little debate going on here, haven't we? I suppose that, at present, the changelings don't need to invade places with Twilight acting as their love supply. It would be beneficial to both species if love supplies were delivered regularly. (Ha, ha, that made me think of milk bottles!) On another topic, the cuteness factor has gone off the charts. OMG, that last scene was ADORABLE!!
6910715 That's on me for not double checking. Thanks, I'll fix it now.
i wonder where in hell is celestia and luna and crystal empires? army if twilight have miss more 24 hours. i bet they be looking everywhere?
6910594 agreed. Though not sure how well Celestia.and Luna would accept that as an explanation if they opened up relations. Then again, probably over thinking it.
6911159 They would be, but as stated in story Chrysalis left a changeling to act in Twilight's place so nopony knows she's gone.
6910503 hehe wouldn't suprise me of that would be the outcome somehow . I mean tie likes it that much and chyssi isn't all evil she was just starving so yeah win win
6910594 i would actually like to see something like that ,in witch their bonding progress's more naturally then being completely forced in turn ending up having twilight and chrysalis come up with a way to work with celestia to create a treaty between pony's and changelings so they wont have to stay completely hidden anymore intern forming a symbiotic bond/ relationship between pony's and changelings ending in a more happy /productive society
Why won't the Queen make a deal with twilight and her friends? They can come and go from the hive freely, and the criss will please any of them, that way the changelings get lot of love and no pony is upset
Chrysalis's claims that the whole hive is being fed by Twilight seem dubious. Maybe a lie to more easily erode her resistance?
really cute but making Chrysalis impatient and not so competent would create a lot more story.