John Apple, aging human farmer, has recently been injured in an accident by one of his horses. The doctors say he'll be unable to take care of his farm anymore due to considerable chronic back pain he will suffer for the rest of his years.
Farming had been his passion all his life, and had always been used to distract from the loneliness he felt from never having taken a wife, or raising children. Now faced with the prospect of losing his farm, having no options for meaningful employment, and the loneliness he can no longer distract himself from, he decides to bring an end to it all.
But what's this? He's still alive? Why did he wake up as a horse? How are these other horses able to talk? Why do these Apple horses keep calling him their father? And, perhaps most importantly, after finding himself with the family he had always wanted, does he dare tell them the truth?
Oooo nelly wonder how he is going to explain this. And is he their real father? Would have been awsome
My God this is going to be a sweet story, I have always loved the type of stories that had someone waking up in the wrong body, but this is like that but it sounds almost like it's cannon, I honestly would be surprised if this story did not get popular really quickly
actually if you need any visuals to help people read your story more clearly, feel free to ask me and I will try my best to provide
I like the premise to this. It's an interesting kind of story idea that I don't think I've seen here before. I'm not sure I entirely like the general direction it's going down in terms of the character's behaviour, though. This seems like it will end up being the kind of contrived situation that could have been avoided completely, right at the beginning, if someone had just decided to actually do the sensible thing and come clean even once. I'm not terribly fond of that kind of characterization, because it makes it look like the writer couldn't figure out a way for their story to actually work that doesn't rely on the characters being unrealistically stupid about things at the worst of times.
Lovely. Simply lovely.
6826134
That's a fair enough fear to have. I'll see what I can do about that in the future. I don't plan on having the deception last too terribly long, nor to have the biggest focus of the story be the fallout of such a deception being brought to light.
6827872
So long as you can find a way around that, I'll be happy. I just always find that kind of story supremely frustrating to read, if you know what I mean. It's just really annoying to see characters lose 20 IQ points whenever it comes to making certain decisions, all so that the plot can keep moving in a particular direction even though they really should know better than that (and usually do.)
Well this is a bit of a unique take on this kind of story, although I know you put it int he summary but his reasons for why he was doing what he was doing int he first chapter really should have been put in there and fleshed out more at least so that the readers can get more into the head of the character that way.
I do wonder how come Big Mac wasn't with them as he should have been in that scene as well. Also if Granny Smith his this universe's version of his mother you should have added a few details like how her mannerism and voice reminded him of his mother as you didn't really have much there in the second chapter for reasons to think this was his mother in pony form other than I think one vague line.
I guess in the next chapter you can have the doctor checking him up and he could use the possible head trauma as a reason to explain why he "can't remember" much of anything.
6828189
I intentionally left it vague in the first chapter with the intention of revealing specific details later in the story. If anything, the description given is an early spoiler, though not so earth shattering of one that I'm too worried about it being there.
Yeah, I probably should have shoved Big MacIntosh into the meeting too, but I figured somebody probably should be left dealing with their farm, either in the form of chores or by selling their produce in the market. Also, Granny Smith did say that she didn't believe it was going to be her son going into the meeting, so it's not much of a stretch that Big Mac didn't believe it would be him either, and as such didn't see much point in going. AJ went because she's the one who said it looked like him, Granny Smith is there because she's the only one that could effectively confirm it, and Apple Bloom is there because of youthful curiousity and excitement at the prospect of meeting her father.
I also should have put a bit more about mannerisms and such in regards to Granny Smith, or recognition of the voice or something. It wasn't just one thing that made him think that it was his mother, though. It was firstly the nickname that only his parents had called him, secondly the series of old injuries from his youth that she seemed to have intimate knowledge of, and thirdly because he believes at that moment that he's going through an elaborate hallucination and his mind is just showing him things that he wants out of life that would make him happier, such as his mother being alive and that he has children, albeit in the form of horses but he just shrugs that off as the oddity of hallucination. Whether he is in his right mind or not, he believes he isn't, so he's going with the flow.
Overall, I am certainly willing to admit that the second chapter is sloppy. Part of the issue I suspect is that I typed it up (and personally proofread/edited it) in a single sitting because I wanted to post something that day due to having another story I tried posting fail to be approved. Had I been a little less impatient I would have let it sit a couple days or more to give myself some distance from it and then done some more editing before posting it.
Okay, this really isn't the type of idea I've seen done often, and I am so stoked for it. Better yet, I'm intrigued by how the Apple's lives are paralleled both Earth and Equestria's sides. John's childhood and foalhood apparently being exactly the same, right down to the injuries, the horses being the same as the children, which I suspected from the previous mention of Jackie and Bloom...
Now I'm wondering what the connection between Mack injuring him and Big Mac is.... Mack was the catalyst that brought him to Equestia... was Big Mac the catalyst that led to 'Honeycrisp' leaving the family?
6866685 That could explain why Big Mac is so quiet; carrying a load of guilt can do that...
Nice story so far. It'll be interesting to see where it goes. Faved and liked...
I stumbled on this story. Now I can't get enough. I have chapter 2 to read but when that's done....
Please update!!!
Please oh please update!
6905275
You may be pleasantly surprised soonish, but don't tell anybody else! It's a secret! Shhhh!
Remember which are lies and then forget.
Just ran into this story and I can already tell this will go in my favorites. Keep up the good work!
God dammed i really hope for that this is not a dream. Poor guy waking up back as a human after getting his ''family'' back
6917880
Thanks, glad you liked it! As with any story I write, I'll try to keep up the good work.
6917889
Yeah, there's little doubt that he'd be crushed by it if he just woke up in some hospital as a human and had to face being alone all over again.
The parallels.... the Might Have Beens from the human work and the Had Beens in Equestria...
AJ is still having issues. Understandable. And John is learning how to pony without issues. Still, wonder how he's planning on breaking the news to them.
Ohohoho. In late for work and I don't care!
Thanks for the update!!!
6918545
You're quite welcome.
I have to wonder if you'll shift focus to the other members of the Apple family so we can see what they think of all of this. Plus I bet all of AJ's friends would also want to know how she's doing given that her father came back from the dead. I can also see Apple Bloom having her friends over as well.
Just got done reading it for the third time.
Oh, how I want him to rekindle with his "kids". How I want him to remember their mother. A sudden flash while walking down a strangely familiar dirt path.
I can't stand it!!!!
6934931
Wow, I didn't expect this story to be that popular with any particular person. Thanks.
6935098 you underestimate the shear admiration of a certain Green eyed mare
You know, you really should submit this story to some groups like Humans In Equestria and such. It just keeps getting stronger, I really like it and it's kind of a shame it doesn't get more attention.
6951762
I probably should look into doing that for all my stories. I've never actually submitted a story to a group, perhaps it's time I learned how it's done. All the groups my stories are in are there because of other people doing the submitting.
6951780
Well, I just put this one into the appropriate folders in HIE for you, but it's not a bad idea anyway. That kind of thing really gets you a lot of exposure and I think this story really deserves it.
6951793
Oh hey, you beat me to it. I just joined the HIE group and found the big, shiny add story button (turns out it's not hard to add stories to some groups, not surprisingly). Thanks. Maybe next I'll try submitting Altered Visage for consideration with the "Good HIE List" group. Having 177 likes to 11 dislikes certainly surpasses the required 100 likes requirement.
6951804
I wouldn't bother. The "good HIE" group is honestly not all that well-run and full of stories that are pretty awful, so chances are you'd probably get it rejected anyway. What you should look into is the Self-Promotion Group as well as the Writer's Group. Those are not HIE-specific, but always a good thing for a writer to be involved with. It helps a lot.
6951808
Thanks for the advice, I'll look into those.
6951814
You're welcome.
6951780 Could it be the other way around? THe life he lived a lie and this one the truth?
6952081
Who knows? It's a mystery!
6952114 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
6952114
You do. You know.
Vates Despero, being overly literal since 1998.
This update made my day!
I wonder if Honey Crisp's Disapearrance had something to do with Mac? Like John getting hurt by his Mac.
Waiting for the Dawws when Applebloom and AJ have there moment to warm up to him!
Really enjoying this so far, and look forward to seeing how it goes.
One small complaint though.
Rosewood apparently was eaten by a Chimera. Considering how little of Equestria John has seen, there should be more of a reaction there. It should take him a moment or two to digest that A. this world has monsters, and B. the ponies still get killed by them. Even a "What's a Chimera?" in the back of his head would have helped.
Other than that, no complaints. Keep up the good work.
6952963
Hmmmm......so it seems you are right, I didn't even have him blink at the mention of a chimera. Probably should have done something there. Oh well, what's done is done now.
6953518
oops >.>
6952323
Well, I can't deny you've got me there.
Dayum but that is one hell of a spike in likes and views, isn't it? Told you it helps.
6955814
So it does.
Dude, you need to send this to an Applejack group. The views will go through the roof!
6962764
I hadn't even thought about looking for a group devoted to Applejack. Hmmmm....
I also notice that somebody slotted it into a CMC group.
Oh hey, there's a group specifically for Applejack's parents, too.
6962792 I am a strong Patron my friend. Their are even groups for Applejack's family and folks. If you don't shoot it over their I sure will advert it their.
Main AJ Group
Apple stories
Applejack's Parents
I want this story to thrive!
6962792 even Transformation groups too