The Totally Not A Sequel Hook Epilogue
Twilight emerged from the hidden chamber deep beneath the castle, a glow from her horn closing the heavy stone door behind her with a jarring thud. She turned and concentrated, her horn brightening as several runes appeared on the door slab, burned into the stone by her magic. These wards would not only help secure the door but alert her if anypony tampered with them.
For good measure, she added one last touch. She hung a sign on the door which read BEWARE OF THE MANTICORE.
Twilight uttered a tired sigh as she entered her library. "That should be the end of that."
Spike looked up from his comic book. "Sorry you had to seal away that book."
"It's for the best, Spike," said Twilight. "This way, nopony can get their hooves on it. And no clumsy dragons can send it to another universe."
"Yeah, you really need to watch those dra -- hey!"
Twilight giggled. "I'm kidding. Everything worked out in the end."
Spike considered. "Were you serious that Amy could become a mage on her own?"
"Oh, indeed, she can."
"So that spell you used, did you really augment her tommy chapels?"
"Thaumic channels. And, yes, I did. I had to in order to use some of her own magical energy to lift the sofa and retrieve the book."
Spike frowned.
"Something the matter?" Twilight asked.
"You really think it was best to create another potential Trixie?"
"Oh, well, really, she would have developed that level of ability on her own eventually."
Spike gave her a dubious look. "Just how much did you augment her atomic chattels?"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Thaumic channels. All right, maybe I had to nudge them a little more than I had anticipated. But it's fine, Spike. The only danger would be if she still had the transformation spell book."
"Oh?"
"Yes. Her energy flow is strong enough that, if she still had the book, she could very easily transform herself directly into an alicorn!"
Spike took on a thoughtful look. "But what if her llamic mantles are strong enough to open a portal to Equestria and take the book back?"
"For the last time, Spike, it's thaumic channels! THAUMIC CHANNELS!"
Spike snickered.
Twilight's eyes narrowed. "You knew how to pronounce it all along, and you're just trolling me again, aren't you?"
Spike grinned. "Yep!"
"That's not nice."
"But it's so easy to do!"
Twilight slowly smiled and laughed. "I guess I deserved that. I really should have kept that book more secure in the first place. I am sorry for any grief I caused you over it."
Spike smiled. "So I can sleep in for a few days?"
"Of course."
"Aaaand maybe some extra deserts at Sugarcube Corner?"
"Sure thing."
"And we can just forget that little incident concerning Rarity and the hidden camera?"
"Don't push it, Spike."
Spike shrugged. "Can't blame me for trying."
"In fact, thanks for reminding me," said Twilight with a sly smile. "I'm doing a ribbon-cutting of a new wing on the dragon orphanage in a few days. I'm sure you'll love it."
Spike gasped. "What?!"
Twilight paused a beat before adding, "Oh, I meant as my guest at the party afterward."
"Very funny," Spike growled, folding his arms. "Troll."
"Takes one to know one, Spike."
They both laughed.
"Say, Twilight, just one more question," said Spike. "Are you absolutely sure she won't be able to do any pony magic without the book?"
"Positive," said Twilight.
"So it's impossible?"
Twilight paused. "I didn't say that."
Spike sighed. "Here we go ..."
"No, really, Spike, this time it's so close to impossible that it's not even worth considering. There is a very infinitesimal chance that, while I was augmenting her channels, the projection of my thaumic field could have resonated with her biomagical aura such that the latent energies of the spell book could have integrated themselves into her neurological matrix and--"
"You know what?" Spike said, stretching his arms and yawning. "I'm ready for bed. Good night, Twilight."
Twilight sighed but smiled. "Good night, Spike."
If the "pony incident" had any sort of positive effect on Brad, it had motivated him to find a way to get out of his crazy sister's house as soon as possible. This, unfortunately, meant getting a job, which cut severely into his time with Heather. Thus he was looking forward to seeing her that night, so long as Amy didn't interfere.
Not that he saw all that much of her. She had become a complete recluse after that purple pony had filled her head with ridiculous notions of being a mage in her own right. She appeared from her bedroom only long enough to eat, where she scarcely said a word to Brad or gave more than monosyllabic responses to direct questions.
Well, except for earlier that morning, when Amy was all smiles and practically gushed at the idea that Heather would be coming over that night. He tried not to let that disturb him. Surely that was not just some cheap, obvious foreshadowing. He also thought nothing of the coincidental rainstorm that just happened to generate a stock ominous atmosphere for when he returned from his job that evening. Though when he looked up and saw the blinding flash of light from the bedroom window and all the other lights in the house go out, well, he started to read something into that.
Thus the lightning that just happened to flash seconds later was not strictly needed to increase the sense of dread he was feeling, but it was a nice touch.
Brad burst into the house. "Amy?! Amy, are you all right?!"
The only response was the patter of rain on the windows and roof.
He tried the light switch, but it appeared all the power was out. He ducked back out to his car and returned with a small LED flashlight. "Amy?" he called out as he swung the bright beam to and fro.
His heart raced as he crept up the stairs.
"Amy, if you're here, say something!" Brad called out. "Y-you're creeping me out right now!"
He remembered the effects that had accompanied that portal that brought the purple pony and her assistant, and wondered if his luck could be such that Amy had simply done the same and transported herself to another universe. Really, that would suit Brad just fine, as he was almost ready to move into his own apartment.
At the top of the stairs, he swung the flashlight towards the master bedroom. The door stood ajar. Brad gulped and crept forward. "Amy?" he said in a soft voice as he nudged the door open further.
His eyes widened as the door creaked open. The room was littered with papers covered in arcane symbols, all over the desk, tacked to the walls, piled in stacks on the floor. The only spot that was clear was a roughly circular area near the bed, the carpet scorched in a pattern one would expect from something incendiary exploding outwards.
His flashlight beam caught something on the floor in the center of the blast. He reached down an picked it up. It was a single, long, silvery-blue feather.
Brad gasped when he heard a clopping noise behind him. He whirled around, bringing his beam to bear on the doorway, but he hardly needed it. The glow from a horn had dispelled the darkness.
"Why, hello, Brad," came Amy's silky voice. "Do me a favor, will you?"
Brad was too stunned at the sight before him to do anything more than nod.
"Hold still."
Amy's horn brightened.
"Well, shit," Brad muttered before the blast of magic hit him.
THE END (inasmuch as there are no words left to read)
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Ha! 4th wall break.
Seems legit.
Gee Twilight, it's not as if you haven't been wrong before or anything.
6758176
I hope not too many people minded Spike's bit of fourth wall breaking on occasion. I know traditionally that's more Pinkie Pie's territory, but where I had Spike being the deadpan snarker of the story, I thought it was appropriate.
6758661
6758676
I did toy with the idea of bringing in Amy's mother, but decided the story had enough characters, and I didn't want to bring in another OC that late in the story. And yeah, Twilight never messes up
Anyway, thank you all for taking the time to read and comment on the story!
6763131 Well, Amy's mother *could* always be in the sequel...
This was a really funny story with all the not so subtle sex innuendos joke that had in it as well as all the stupid hypocritical lazy attempts of all the characters to try to cover the tracks of the mistakes they did. This is part of the fun of those type of comedy which goes in jokes with out needing to go into explicated sex jokes to be funny. I hope you will a sequel to this story and I hope the crazy mother of the family will be in it as well. I was also wandering what happen to the father of the group, did he left them because his wife was becoming increasingly weird in her behaviors or is there an other reason to this?
Whelp, hadn't noticed the updates. It seems the level of comedy was maintained throughout. I really liked this one. And oh Brad, that poor well-endowed soul.
Oh look.... another magic crazy person.
6763776
I mentioned her enough, I probably have no choice
6775172
What's interesting is that I had not originally intended for there to be a sequel. I actually had intended chapter 5 to be the last part, but while I was looking at that chapter while editing for posting, I realized it just had to have an epilogue which sort of wrote itself. The sequel will likely have to wait a bit, as I have a backlog of other story ideas to attend to first. But yeah, I should tie up that loose end about the father.
Thanks
6775443
I was initially concerned that the humor had peaked near the middle and was not quite as funny near the end, but it was really more of a case where the focus of the humor changed. One can make only so many innuendoes concerning bananas 
Thanks!
6775503
Eh, sanity is overrated
6793819
Granted, that bit was more for the lolz than being serious.
6793929
Yep, thanks for pointing that out. Fixed!
6835259
The show did so little to really flesh-out Luna's personality that I chose to portray her as the more playful one. I don't think I'm the first author to do this, though. Granted, where this was a comedy, I did portray Luna a little more over the top than I might in a more serious work.
Thanks for the comments
I wanna see more!
6838497
I'll have to wait until I have inspiration for a sequel before I can do more on this, though ... 
Thanks!
We needs sequel.
6897687
I do hope to write a sequel to this someday.
Thanks for the comment!
Are you going to do a part 2 ?
6957864
I do intend to write a sequel to this story eventually once I get inspired for a good plot.
Thanks for the comment!
6960419 U.R.W.C.
Well that was cool. May have relied a bit too much on innuendo for comedy, but still got guilty chuckles. Restrained itself from stooping to self-awareness or internet lingo any more than a couple of times, and clicked on at a nice, brisk pace.
Rating for scale
: i.imgur.com/2HeWPET.jpg / 10, would read sequel.
A thousand years of nothing at all to do except peeping in on people's freaky sex dreams. It's no wonder Nightmare Moon was completely off her rocker after going through that kind of experience. I'd consider freezing the world a small price to pay for an end to all bodily fluids, too.
...Is it bad if I was totally rooting for Amy the entire time, no matter how hard you tried to make her the villain..?
Two words:
Sex. Tag.
7549795
I debated at the time I wrote it whether it needs it or not. I opted to leave it out and simply add a warning to the description. I didn't want to attract readers who were coming to see something more explicit and then were disappointed when it was all just sexual inneundo. You're the first reader who ever complained about it.
7550169
I could understand if you had a few throwaway lines or even a single innuendo-based scene in the thing. But this entire story, with the exception of chapter two, is one sex joke after another. I don't see how you could possibly think that this:
does not apply to your story.
I assure you, anyone explicitly searching for a sex-tagged teen-rated story will have no reason to be disappointed by this. Properly tagging your story with the appropriate warning will also fend off downvotes from people who do not appreciate (or are simply in no mood for) reading about sex-crazed ponies.
any hopes for a sequel yet?
You mean... she might have memorized the spell?
Oh yes, infintesimal chances. Clearly. 
Are you ever going to do a sequel to this story?
I think someone gonna gets bucked.
That was really enjoyable. How dare you tease a sequel, then immediately spend the next several years on the spiritual successor that has no real relation to this?
u monster leaving it like that