True friends do everything together, but the night after Princess Twilight’s coronation, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony decided one of those things would be to go out clubbing.
It was a particularly bad idea.
Eleven months later, they find themselves doing yet another thing together which even the best of friends should avoid doing together.
Delivering foals.
My editors (who would like to remain anonymous): Masked Ferret, Tek, Docontra
Warning: Rated T because it contains scenes of childbirth (but not M because it doesn’t show… you know). Although all of you have gone through the process at least once, you may not remember just what was involved. Trust me. It’s both terrifying and worth it.
Picture source: Wiki
Chapters (1)
First comment for the author. First, I would like to thank Bad Horse and his support. He triggered the idea, and I bounced it back and forth with him for a few times before putting it in the back of the drawer for over a year, eventually getting it dragged out by TheMaskedFerret and Tek, who bugged me and gave me more material to use until I had to finish it.
Several ideas wound up on the cutting room floor, including having the Cutie Mark Crusaders assist in some fashion, and some comment about what will happen when these seven go questing for their own cutie marks (Equestria is sooooo doomed.) One of the thoughts was to have one or all of the foals with changeling fathers as this:
Now, the changeling idea was too good to pass up. Soon, there will be another story from me titled, "Seven Brides for Seven Changelings." (And yes, I know there's only six of them, but that wouldn't match the movie/play) In short, Chrysalis sends seven changelings to Ponyville to see if they can break up the Elements of Harmony. But moving on...
Some comments from the thread with Bad Horse:
Well, it's not literature, it's popcorn fiction. Basically a "How many pregnancy/labor gags can I cram into one short story" and "How much Cthulhu can I get into Twilight in Labor", walls bleeding, dimensional shifting, etc. I've been through 3 deliveries as Dad, and most of the readers are *pre* delivery kids, so I've got an unfair advantage on describing the event. (I love Bill Cosby's bit on Carol Burnett's description of labor. "Take your bottom lip... and pull it over your head.")
The hard part is to have 5 seen delivering ponies with drama, one unseen pony, alicorns and still make it readable *and* funny.
"Starswirl the Bearded was a leader in the field of Conception Spells."
"Um. You mean Contraception, right Twilight?"
"Sigh. No, I meant what I said..."
Everybody who ever considers being a parent, needs to watch this clip by Bill Cosby.
Eh, this one kinda fell flat for me. The scenario itself really isn't all that funny.
Daaaaw, KEWT!
6738547 are you saying if you had to give it a letter grade, you would put it in the C-section?
.... You've been running lines of scratch-n-sniff pony pictures again haven't you? This was acutely adorable, lusciously lovely, heart-achingly hilarious and lots of other alliterative descriptive terms.
Yeah, that's pretty much what I'd expect from an alicorn giving birth.
To everypony's surprise, one of them was Rarity, who had never been able to escape her father's influence completely. (This is my headcanon and you cannot take it away from me.)
It figures that Rainbow Dash would produce a daughter with a color scheme like a bad OC.
In all, a very fun story. Thank you for it.
6738673 I ought to smack you for that one.
Once again, the most important advice in the world is "Always read the label..."
6738673 Dude, don't even joke about something like that. Not cool.
You'd think they'd be smart enough to use protection.
And aren't equines tied to heat cycles? Damn magic breaking all the rules of nature. At first I thought this would have been a "gift" from Discord.
6738673 I'm downvoting your comment just for that disgusting pun.
6738915 what you view as disgusting, I choose to see as a wonderful miracle of life. Puns, that is. What, you thought I was talking about child birth?
6738861 come to Pacific PonyCon and you can deliver the smack in person.
6738892 Relax, I'm just foaling around with pregnancy puns. I'd never joke about the shortcomings of the American letter-grading system.
6738939 I was talking about the pregnancy puns.
6738939 Nu has monies
Looks like Twilight's kids will get the chance to grow up with her friends kids, which is great. But damn if she didn't go out of her way to make that happen!!
I would have pegged Discord as the expect on subduing extradimensional entities.
Yes, Twilight. Equestria is so very bucked.
6738901 Pff. One babysitting session for his friends and Discord will be begging to be turned back into stone. Or he'll think foals are amazing for their capacity to cause chaos in any situation...
6738883
So many fics could benefit from that, though they would be much shorter and more boring so I guess I am saying continue to misread all the things Twilight
Smart stallion... when making a choice between facing the wrath of Twilight Sparkle aka Cute-thulhu of the Lavender Insanity and the ire of Rarity aka Malicious Marshmallow, always pick purple. Just ask this horror entity:[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=iqPqucRREZg] (Watch the ENTIRE video, not just up to the first cut to black)
But anyway, I really enjoyed this story. Doubt we will see a sequel for this soon, but certainly wouldn't mind seeing more from this particular universe at some point.
Like ZOMG, I kind of think the story fell somewhat flat. On the face of it, it just feels like too much going on at once. I think you handled the whole accidental pregnancy better in Royal Exam.
I kind of think this sort of story might have worked better if, rather than being a full mane 6, it was only some of them who were pregnant.
A lack of protection is what cause all those problems.
I need MOAR!!!!!!!!
I cannot possibly express how awesome this is.
img10.deviantart.net/8be7/i/2015/321/b/7/run_ii_by_hillbe-d9h136o.jpg
My god, did Twilight give birth to Tsuaka Kadoya by any chance?anibee.tv/upload/berita/full/hobby-kamenrider-1.png
Broadhoof is going to so enjoy raising an alicorn filly! Especially if/when she has her very first magic surge.
An imaginary scenario:
"Bo! What was all that noise?" Twilight entered the room, taking in the mess and disorder, the confused filly, and the potted cactus on the couch. "Oh! Well," she nuzzled her child fondly, "Like mother, like daughter!"
6739450 Um, no.
6739336 Well, they asked for it. In fact, one of them (I forget which) asked me to bump this up in my writing queue.
6739230 They had an alicorn-level contraception spell protecting them. With typo. I would imagine stopping ovulation and starting it would be fairly similar. (except for the result)
6739229 That takes away the joke. Friends do everything together. With Royal Exam, I focused one one pony in a much deeper story. This is effectivly a one-joke pony that wraps itself up in a chapter (unless I were to go on, and I really don't have much there to go on).
6739208 Hell hath no fury like that of an enraged marshmallow.
6739204 I've done that with teaspoons as a plot device. (I'm sorry for the pun)
6739120 I think he'd just adore the chaos. Besides, he gets to be Uncle Discord, and uncles get their little nieces and nephews into the most trouble.
6739021 Cutie Mark Crusader Seven, Go!
6738939 You have to write them slowly, because a pun is a terrible thing to haste.
6738915 Could have been worse. This could have been a story about food, then it would have been a digesting pun. (ba-dump-dump *tish* )
6738901 They were protected by the finest spell the brand-new alicorn princess could miscast.
6738883 With the second rule being 'Check for typos.'
6738673 Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.
6738674 Well, I was trying to figure out what unleaded gasoline smelled like yesterday. Or I think it was yesterday. I was mowing the lawn...
6738797 I think it's Eakin/Estee who have Rarity being a closet hoofball fan, because she keeps hoofball magazines in the store for stallions to browse while the mare shops, and of course she has free time while waiting on customers and has to read *something* interesting...
6738903 Here's the quick note I was using while working on the story. Please note that I didn't name the kids, because with 12+ names to keep track of already, most readers would have lost their train of thought. The poor colts are outnumbered, 5:2
Lieutenant Broadhooves - filly alicorn pale pale lilac
Sergeant Hammerstrike - N/A
Corporal Cloudhopper - filly rainbow pegasus curly like a sheep
Corporal Noble Cause - twin colts unicorns
Specialist Insomnia - batwinged filly pink mane
Specialist Peaches - big peach colored filly earth pony
Specialist Straight Laced - white pegasus filly
6739639
Yeah, fairly sure that's where I got it. But I love the idea so much. And the idea of it slipping out when she's soused is too good for me not to want it to be true.
6739639
I suppose I just don't get joke, then. I'm not really sure what's humorous, or supposed to be humorous, about all of the mane 6 doing things together as a group of friends. Perhaps with more of a set up, the idea of the mane 6 getting knocked up and giving birth together might have more of a joke, but as it is, it just... doesn't seem all that funny.
Probably the funniest parts of this story, to me, was Rarity's pseudo-Ollivandering Broadhooves and Twilight coming on to/kissing the book. And maybe Twilight's, um, creative reaction to the pains of child birth.
Although I was kind of expecting to see Greenie dropped in a local body of water at the end ofroyal exam.But that was it, really.I suppose in this sense the comedy just was kind of flat, for me, and on the drama front it didn't seem very dramatic either.
*shrugs*
This is pretty cool. Don't see many stories about the M6 doing something like clubbing, much less after effects like this. Carry on
Is that guy like Starswirl's evil twin or something?
Also, I don't even quite know what to say about that. I don't think anyone can get this drunk.
6739208
Oh lord!
Well...they say never to judge a book by its cover.
I hope he's not dead.
6739782 Starworl the Shaven, tremble before the might of science!
That exchange between Broadhooves and Twilight reminded me of when Garrus and Fem Shepard roleplayed a first date.
And now Flash Sentry and Spike are out together to drown their grief in cheap cider.
Considering all that happened, they probably manage to impregnate Queen Chrysalis' older and younger daughter, respectively.
6739639
One question: you're not going to designate Sargeant Hammerstrike as being Celestia's personal beefcake are you? Admittedly he's from an older cut, but let's face it, so's she.
6739875
I prefer to use spells from Starswoll the Lifted's book, personally.
Now that was a great read.
Hooolllyy SHIT!
SCP-7113a Twilight Sparkle, also known as the Lavender Cute-thulhu of Universe P-043 and SCP-7113b The Destroyer of All Things have breached containment!
I do hope there will be more to this.
...Twilight scares me.
but i wanted to see shining armors reaction
My sides! They couldn't handle that ending and is now speeding out of the solar system at close to 90% the speed of light. I guess I will just have to wait for faster than light technology to be invented to catch them.
6740381
Pretty sure we don't need to see possible murder and/or gelding.
Saw this in the feature box, and was all: media.giphy.com/media/Xmo8cTM1xgfjW/giphy.gif "It's here."
I am dying.
Of course Twilight would screw everything up by using a typo'd spellbook because that was the rarer copy.
Okay, felt kinda like the old Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Started out with some freaky stuff and a big lurching drop, then kinda mellowed out into something pleasant.
also, if Rainbow pulled off twins, would the first one out be like the split time at a race?
It's probably a good thing for Equestria that pregnant alicorns don't occur terribly often.
6740548 It's a first edition. And Twilight Sparkle will do anything for a first edition.
6740543 I'm sure that once Twilight explains things to him, and Celestia and Luna quit sitting on him, he will see that a Royal Guard as a brother-in-law is certainly a better option than a scroungy green schoolteacher.
6740381 Lt. Broadhooves doesn't.
6740365 Twilight Sparkle scares everypony.
6740226 But Destroyer is so cuuuuute.
6739970 No, I've shipped her with some other guards at times. She's fun.
6739891 Hm. It's an idea.
6739782 Honest. It's how his name is spelled in Ye Oldde Eqquish.
6739656 Now I want to write a story where Rarity wants to go to a city that's having a fashion show and finds out her favorite hoofball team is playing *at the same time* next door.