Somewhere in the USA. Probably older than you. And something about MLP:FIM makes me want to write stories. Unfortunately, being gainfully employed cuts into my writing time.
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Cutie Mark(ed) Crusaders2,629 stories ·499 members
Applejack finds something hidden under Apple Bloom’s mattress. Now, it’s time for big sister and little sister to have a talk about what is and isn’t right for an Apple to do.
Written for the Writeoff Association's January 2016 contest, Look, I Can Explain....
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You bamboozled me...
Much more smoothly executed than in the Writeoff. The subjects shift a lot more naturally, and the whole story feels much more cohesive. Well done!
(Also, credit where it's due, this probably inspired my latest chapter of Sideboard of Harmony at least as much as archonix's comment about a cosmos in Carrot Top's fridge.)
You know it's nice to see an Apple family member that likes pears and that it's considered OK to "experiment" with other fruits. The ending with AJ encouraging AB to have a colt friend was cute.
Saw the punchline coming from the story description alone. Still snickered.
Besides, I'm one to talk with how badly I telegraphed Sunset Shimmer's crabs.
6972080 The most helpful suggestion was to start with the Crusaders talking about colts, to make it less obvious that it's not what you think it is.
And yes, I found it amusing to see you use pears and parsnips in that chapter.
I am thoroughly OUTRAGED and REPULSED!
Pears are disgusting!
6972243 I'd rather eat a pear than a red delicious apple.
I sort of expected the subversion, but only because I've read a fair few fics like this. I would havr really been surprised if you jad played it straight. You played it bather nicely, though.
The ending was interesting. 'Yeah, you got your cutie mark, you're basically grown. Do what you will.'
6972283 If I had been reading, I would have expected it, too. It sticks out when a writer chooses not to name something. Still, it was fun to write.
That's just shameful, Apple Bloom!
6972303 I would say it was. I rather liked it, in all honesty, and you did well because I was half expecting you to just go through with it.
Absolutely delicious. Saw the punchline coming from a mile away, but the execution made it fun and interesting all the same.
I'm not surprised Applebloom was a bit curious, but she made a mistake: oranges or bananas are much better than pears or apples any day of the week. ;p
6972423 take this bag of bits and these forged identity papers, a ship well meet you at the coast go go! *rumbling of a hundred angry apples is heard nearby.* i'll hold them off just run!
We all know that Applejack enjoys oranges!
6972253
So tempted to downvote just because of this comment
WHEN WILL THE RED DELICIOUS DISCRIMINATION END???
6972575
6972423 IT'S TOO LATE! THIS BEAST MUST BE ERASED OFF THE FACE OF THIS EARTH!
*Charges*
6972734 The Apples know what kind of apples are best. It's right there in their names. Granny Smith. McIntosh. And any apple distilled into brandy and mixed with whiskey.
I can't say i expected that, but I can't say i didn't expect it either.
Nice work!
~ADG
Someone's been bucking the apples a little too hard, eh?
So when I saw the synopsis of this story, I thought it would end up being about AB getting caught using fruit and veggies as sex toys (yeah I don't know where that came from, either...) but once it got to the part describing the magazine I realized it was going to be something innocuous.
That is, until the very end, which totally caught me by surprise. Now I can't get the image of a line of colts, a few fillies, and one dragon all queued up outside her bedroom door...
FREAKING KNEW IT!!!
6972901 And they'll bring an assortment of fruits and vegetables.
Kinda makes me wonder what their thoughts on a fruit salad are.
And if Earth ponies subdivide themselves into the clans of the berry growers, the flower growers, the fruit growers, the grain growers, the vegebtale growers, even the rock farmers.
And, off spectrum completely lay the lonely, erratic, misunderstood and misanthropic pineapple growers.
Eh. This has been done to death. It's an especially bad sign when I was not only able to guess that Apple Bloom has been looking at other fruits, but also that the fruit in question was a pear.
6973008 We all know how the Apple family deals with pear peddlers...
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Big Mac is going to have a lot more to explain when AJ finds his collection of timberwolf and chimera porn...
It's always the quiet ones...
Punchline about the fruit came from a mile a way but telling her sister she wouldn't have gone so astray if she were a bit more sexually active made the story.
Huh.
That was odd.
6973038
What?
6973008 Shhh... it was all a distraction. Since Applejack found that, she didn't find the loose floorboard, under which Apple Bloom hides her bondage gear.
Love this. I don't comment on many sex tagged stories but this one was good.
Damn it. This would have been perfect without the RumbleLoo and Apple Bloom being interested in Shady. Oh Well, have a like either way.
Actually, apples and pears are closely related! In fact, the Asian Pear is a hybrid, though of which apple and pear I don't remember just now. They look sort of like an apple shaped pear, and they...the taste is hard to describe, honestly, and they don't crunch, either, but they are really good!
Of course, now I want to make tarts out of them...
welp, that got a laugh outta me, enjoy a like, fave, thumb up, etc.
6973211 You have inspired me. I must add that to ask fapplebloom at some point.
6972303 Doesn't help that there are a LOT of stories with this kinda 'twist', or 'gimmick', or kinda 'plot'. Whatever you want to call it. Because of this, we notice the signs a lot sooner than back when this kinda story was still new to the site. Still a pretty good story, even with seeing the punchline trying to hide so far into the distance.
6972734
Sour apple = master race.
A little part of me died when I read this. Oh AJ. I knew there was a reason why you were one of my favorites.
1:38
Honestly, I was just about thinking that I was going to read something I would regret. And then the story said "fruit catalog"
...Well played sir... Well played *tips stetson*
Hm... read this before 20 views... And I can say that this deserved the Feature
<end>
Ayyyyyyyyyy, lmao
6973762
Definitely.
6972575 Ah, but you forget. *Places a line of banana peels on the ground, watches all the charging Apples slip and fall and run into things.*
Bananas: the only fruit that's wrapped in a defensive landmine.
hmmm... I remember when my dad showed me his stash of dirty magazines. I used it to get him into trouble.
HAHAHAHA! Oh, man, this was so funny! I thought it end a bit different than this, but meh.
6972423 me? lemons mostly cause of this:
Admittedly, at first, I was disappointed by the predictable "pear" twist. Then the double twist assured me of your cleverness and self-awareness. This is probably the most charming comedy I've read in a while. Liked and faved.