• Member Since 7th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Jun 3rd, 2022

rhiiazami


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Twilight Sparkle finds herself spending time with a local pegasus from the weather team, and may be developing feelings for her.

But when they stumble across a relic of nightmares past, Twilight must learn to cope with distressing new urges, and keep her friends and the rest of Equestria in the dark...

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 67 )

okay, just by reading the first few sentences made me shiver.
DIS GUN B GUD.
onward!
After-read Edit: really neat first chapter, a lot of unanswered questions and with the first paragraph you wrote im hooked, so i'll be eagerly awaiting more!
<3

I haven't even started reading it yet but I can tell its going to be at least a good read. You are the first person to use the french word for "first" in a story. :pinkiehappy:

...interesting. I wonder how long it will take to come full circle.

More. Please?
It's pretty great, and I'm loving the whole sentenced-to-death thing-now I have to finish it D:

Looking forward to next chapter.

Talk about your scary foreshadowing...!

I'm definitely coming back for more of this.

I am now officially cross on what to do, sounds like an interesting tale but the whole lesbian love with OCs gets me angry, very angry :twilightangry2:

770411 Cloudkicker is actually a background pony, not an OC. Note the other tag, and the lack of an OC tag. She pops up in fics now and again but generally never gets a major role. Admittedly I'm more or less making up her characterization, but there is so little known about her that there is lots of wiggle room. I do spell her name without a space, as opposed to the more common Cloud Kicker, but that's just my own preference. :twilightsmile:

768486 You figured out my numbering scheme! :pinkiegasp:

A personal recommendation from Wanderer D himself? This must be good.


Hmm... I'm impressed. Good work. By all means, please continue.




~Signed, InfiniteBrony

Rhiia? As in D's friend Rhiia?
*Entire body twitches, voice changing*
CODE NAME FOUND. DOWNLOADING INSTRUCTIONS... AWAITING ORDERS... COMMAND CONFIRMED. NOW TRACKING. ALL HAIL WANDERERD. I AM HIS FAITHFUL MINION. SOON ALL SHALL BOW TO HIS WILL. COMMENCE READING CHAPTER ONE.
*Body twitches again, leaving Trevor dazed*
Wha? Where am... What was I? Oh. Right. About to read. :3

Where is my popcorn when I need it?

Well i am watching this now

Twilight messes up a spell without opening an interdimensional portal?

I would post that "Dis gun b gud" gif, but it's probably unnecessary.

This intrigues me! If you would continue I would be most grateful.:moustache:

So... just guessing but... Twi's turned into a vampony, or something similar. Her new compulsions force her to commit evil acts, though I expect the murder was in self defense. The alteration is eventually reversed, or at least controlled and she is brought before the Princesses to stand judgement. Of course, completely in the face of Luna's own little encounter with the dark side, she's sentenced to death.

If Twilight was corrupted willingly and the murder was indeed intentional... sure. But if it's some sort of involuntary corruption/evil artifact/posession and the other acts were from a 'darker personality' or something similar I'd have to call bullshit and double standard...

Guess it really doesn't matter, though I'm mildly interested to find out what would cause Celestia to throw Twilight, and a supposed innocent mare to the wolves like that, I'm not curious enough, sorry.

792802 Nice try, but no cigar. I agonized for weeks over just what to do with her. I've settled on something that I think is moderately original-ish. (Nothing is truly original. Everything is derivative.) This fic has been rolling around my head pretty steadily since last November, so I like to think it's fairly well thought out. There is quite a bit more to it all than is really hinted at in this first chapter. :twilightsmile:

So I wish I had posted this when I finished reading last night but, I was so tired. Anyway, I'm here now ^^

As for the beginning, my gut tells me it was a "wrong place, wrong time" situation. However because of the acts committed, Tia/Luna can't overlook the punishment.

AS for the rest, it was a decent set up. The ending though, that is what got me. Couldn't go to sleep because of it because I started getting scientific in my head. Seriously, stuff like this....
My guess is the Equine body is like the Human body in that it is like 70% water(something like that, I too busy with Bronycon streams and such to Google it). Not to play in the trope for too long but also in a way that make sense, Twilight DID botch up the hydrophobic spell but only in the way it was introduced. My theory is that she cast it unknowing that it make her body hydrophobic as in external as well as internal. Her body temperature rising could be one of two things in my theory as it stands. The most likely: Blood is being rejected by the now hydrophobic muscles, which is causing oxygen deprivation. This explains why she is hit with the side effects so quickly and why her whole body is burning up. The second option: Because Twi made her body hydrophobic, the water in her body cannot cool the body down, which explains her heating up.

To say this is a good and interesting start would be nothing new, so I will admit this. This is the first fic hat really got my head going like this. Most of the time fics just have some solution in the same chapter rather than as a cliffhanger. Well done with this, for it gaurentees my interest. A thumb and a star for you(both to track it and show it is genuinely good, keep it that way?)

Interesting start! I am looking forward to more.

Interesting... MOAR:flutterrage:

1029670 Probably within a week, I'm fairly close to completing it, will probably have it finished within a few days. Then I will take a couple days to edit before posting. There's no way to tell for sure though, delays are not beyond the realm of possibility.

Wow, I can't wait to see this in the feature box. Excellent writing, Interesting plot. I wonder what Twilight does when she lights her horn in that first part :unsuresweetie:


Only time will tell,

Looking forward to the next chapter my friend.

wait a local female weather team Pegasus that is not rainbow dash? :rainbowhuh:

I hope your not going to update this every 5 months. I might lose interest :ajbemused:

Still good chapter - hoping for a happy ending (I like happy endings)

Did you mean for the whole chapter after the excerpt to be italicized? might want to get on that if you didn't. Great chapter, though. Can't wait for the inevitable downward spiral:pinkiecrazy:

Excellent :pinkiecrazy:

Also, the last part is all italicized. Not sure if that was intentional or not.

1234309 Richtig, mein Freund! :twilightsmile:
1234355 ikr
1234395 No, it shouldn't be that sparse. :facehoof:
1234401 Derp. I knew I was going to screw up the formatting somewhere. Thank you for pointing it out, it is fixed. :twilightsmile:

I keep imagining those bats getting into some silly shenanegins while doing stuff for Twi. Heehehee

10,000 WORD UPDATE?!?!?! WORTH THE WAIT!!!!!
*ahem* Sorry... anyways loveing this story! I like how you have vampires burn in the sun rather than a discomfort in it.
And bringing in some of the older vampire legends (like the bats) is a nice touch.

Awesome chapter :yay:

Interesting, for some reason I wasn't expecting this to be a vampire story.

I was so happy when I saw that this updated.:pinkiehappy:

FINALLY :flutterrage: it is here :pinkiehappy:.... that was interesting.... vampire... dunno if i like that so much but i will have to wait and see

and i hope you do update a little bit more regularly from now on :moustache:

My advice to twilight: SEND PRINCESS LUNA A LETTER!!!!!!!

"What that essence is and how it’s given varies from one type of fiend to another, but the mages seem to think they can secure it, or some such nonsense."

I'm guessing that orb Twilight found was the aforementioned "secured essence", which struck out in a desperate attempt to escape.

Now I want moar, and am saddened that I do because this wont update for a while:fluttershbad:

Wow... I mean, through out the chapter, I saw this coming a mile away. I like what you did with the story though, excellent work and this is getting added to my faves.

Wait. Wouldn't it be vampony, not vampire?:unsuresweetie:

"Better methods for tracking and capturing them, more reliable ways of executing them, but it’s still not enough."

This sentence seems to imply that at least some of the fiends share a similar sturdiness to classic vampires(Twilight's type has resembled them so far). I can see the plot twist(s) that could lead to.

1238908 Only if I wanted to make a bad pun. :facehoof:
1236912 Not far off. :twilightsmile:
1238569 I was trying not to be too overt about it, but it was never a secret. At one point I even had multiple mentions of vampirism in the synopsis, but I cut them.
1237462 The next update should come in less time than it took this one. I'm aiming to have chapter 3 ready for halloween, and an interlude later this month. I'm not known for keeping my deadlines, though. :twilightsheepish:
1238972 :raritywink:

1239020 halloween eh?

Only a month and a half to go!

Will read later!

First section is so baws.

1239020
Whoo! my Story Arc senses didn't totally fail me this time!

Okay, it looks to me like we have a TwiVamp fic that is actually well written, has a somewhat believable rate of development, and is descriptive?

Let's get this thing to the feature box, get it some love!

1239020 Please, for the love of Celestia... TELL ME YOU ARE WRITING MOAR!!! :flutterrage:

1239020 I Hope you can keep your deadline, I'm loving this:heart:

I only got to reading this chapter now, since I didn't read much the last time, and other stories are piling up, also, the impression I got from the first chapter was kinda weak if I remember it right. But this chapter. Damn, this is what I like to see. Definitely moved up many spaces on my personal favorites.:twilightsmile:

Aw... I was hoping that by casting water magic on herself, Twilight accidentally discovered blood magic.
Instead, she just tripped over the congealed essence of a Vampire in some random place.:fluttershysad:

MOAR!!!!! I hope she tells Celestia.

1442731 Also, Blood is technically a liquid, thus one can conclude that aquamancy with a few tweaks could quickly become hemomancy. :twistnerd:

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