- Member Since 20th Jun, 2014
- offline last seen 11 hours ago
etherealunessence
I'm a person. A person who writes stories about ponies in all their infinite variations.
etherealunessence
Joined 20th Jun, 2014 ·
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Hot!
7256337
Glad you enjoyed it, mate
7256341
I loved it
7256673
It was definitely a blast to write 
Glad you had fun with it
Dear Luna, I need to stop with the puns...
I play Pinkie Pie in several RPs, and darned if I don't want to be her in this story...
7256839
That's not strange
This has got to be one of the smartest clopfics ever. Bravo!
You suffer from a severe case of run-on sentences.
I'd suggest running this through a proof-reader or two to clean things up.
Other than that, it was fine
It's not like Pinkie will ask him to buck her sisters.
7258120
DUN DUN DUN~~~!!!
Or will she...
But seriously, who knows
I may just have to make a follow-up for this at some point 
Suddenly Pinkie wonders how much Dash would like being caught in a fence as a surprise present.
Overall, it's fine for what it is. The raunchy language and descriptions would probably be serviceable for the people who actually get off to this stuff, and the grammatical errors (in terms of spelling) are scarce. However, the sentences run on for way, way too long, sometimes using redundant words, and almost never using a comma. The ending also felt a little...empty. I mean, it's that typical erotic story ending where it teases another installment in such a “riveting” story, but even then, it felt kinda bland. Oh, and the WINKING. FOR GOD'S SAKE, MAN, TONE IT DOWN A BIT! Or, at the very least, replace it with something else. Something a bit more obscure yet still arousing. This is an erotic fanfiction, not a sex ed book. You don't have to include every little detail of Goddamn horse sex! Sorry, I don’t mean to sound too harsh (I’m not that big on clopping, but I don’t judge by person or when reading), I’d give it a 5/10. Maybe it’s just not meant for me. Either way, I hope you improve in the future and keep writing!
The February Featured Story for Pinkie Pie Stories