Applejack has a simple life, with great friends. Sure times can be tough and bits may be hard to come by, but she's always pulled through. Now her life has been turned upside down and money will never be a problem.
Watch her story unfold. Money, family and friendship can change. Even your closest most trusted ponies can use you. Watch as a simple farmer comes to terms with the fact that wealth isn't all it's cracked up to be.
image is not mine it belongs to this guy LateCustomer
Good premise, but you need to work on your formatting and punctuation, and don't get me started on the spelling.
AMAZING STORY!! More soon! please
7315925 Thanks I just hope it goes well first time writing first person
7315892 yeah Im looking for an editor as we speak
7315934 well good luck to ya. I've never written in first person. The only stories I have are in third person
7315939
Interesting story-premise. But yes, you need a lot of help in the corrections and editing department.
For finding an Editor &/or Proofreader(s) here on FimFiction...
a. Looking For Editors
b. The Proofreader Group
Remember the writing guideline: You should only have one Editor, but can have multiple (2+) Proofreaders.
HOLY BUCK 300-500k bits is alot but once i heard 20 million bits I fell off my chair this story is amazing!!
With a small loan of a million bits
7316895 thanks the amount was hard to come up with since we'll the show isn't all that great at its currency a mean a cherry is 2 bits so I went a little high
Holy cow this story made the popular tab I am so happy.
now it will be great if one day I will get featured thanks to everyone who faved
I could help edit if you want. I've done editing for a few very successful stories and authors. Let me know. Good story so far!
waste, not waist.
However as soon as those numbers hit me, well, let's just say even fancy floors are hard.
Also, we
She didn't need the money, given the interest she got from stock.
Wait, do you mean if Applejack saves up for 10 years, the total amount of money she has will be 20,000,000, or do you mean that the account had that after 10 years of saving, before being transferred to Applejack?
Well folks, there are a lot of things that don't get me flustered, but hearing those numbers took the breath right out of me.
Ms. Applejack
By our records, your yearly profit
Either these are all I, or all Ah. Given everything outside of dialogue, it's all I.
Should it be "Oh, so it was like a savings account. That made a little sense."
run, not ran. company, which.
Miss Isabel take more than
Knowing the nature of writing, there a lot more I could point out and say how to fix. Given how tedious it is to go up and down from the story to the comment instead of directly marking it on the story itself, I will not be doing so unless it is requested that I do more. Rather good story. There are probably better people for editing, but I'm still offering, in case you can't tell.
I Like this keep it going please
7318475 fixed some and my proof reader fixed more, I have another editor going over it now
So far I'm intrigued
I think theres one to many started besides that great story
7319176 fixed thanks for pointing that out
Interesting start, I'm looking forwards to how Applejack and her family now (Presumably Applejack would share her wealth with her family, as that's the kind of pony she is.) handle being rich. Huh, who knows, not saying I dislike Filthy or anything (I actually do a bit) but something tells me he won't be having any more deals with the Apple Family simply because they no longer need the money.
NEED MORE NOW!!!- please-
Um, I think something's wrong with the formatting. Might want to look at that.
This chapter was interesting, I can’t wait for the next one!!!
Nice, but you forgot a LOT of spaces.
hey its a thing
Some gender-flipping and punctuation issues.
You should proofread this. It's very frustrating to read as is.
Hmm...I suppose I should read on and see, but I like some guesswork based on personalities.
If I am right, there is 4-5 of the Elements of Harmony in the scene. One was manipulating AJ and the other two-three were big on her money in one way or another.
If there were three I would say Rarity as the manipulator, I don't see the others having the ability to at all. Twilight might be able to, but she is usually too much of a goody two shoes to do anything like that. Plus, she has royal monies, so no real point. So Rarity as the main manipulator, the other two mares would probably be Rainbow and Pinkie. Rainbow is blunt and I could see her easily wanting to go on endless cider binges or other silly things that could involve alot of bits, and she tends to be a tad thoughtless before what she is doing is explained to her. The other I would guess to be Pinkie, though only because of her manipulations on asking Twilight for the Gala tickets. I don't think Pinkie's would be a greed type of thing, and more of either wanting to help her family or the desire to throw stupidly large parties.
If there are 5 of the elements in the room, it becomes harder. Fluttershy doesn't have a manipulative bone in her body, and would feel horrid asking for anything, she is very self aware on that aspect. She was very blunt and honest that Angel was the 'tactician' of the two when it came to the gala tickets, and she would have been just fine helping to clean up the library without getting anything in return. It could be her if she was manipulated by others, but she'd crack quickly under the guilt.
So, I'd say Twilight. She could look up tons of things to do with that money involving her own interests and try to friendly ish get AJ to pay for them without realizing what she's doing. Twi in the show learns the most friendship lessons, so it's likely to see her fall into another screw up.
Now, to read on and find out.
More soon!!!
huh...that was an abrupt end for me. Ah well, I shall wait to see how this continues. Good job so far, though the spelling errors and missing spaces between some words is a bit painful.
I would pay good money to see that.
Applejack's going to marry Discord, ain't she?
7947906 sorry about that been having format issues
7948263 no but I do have an idea for an Apple cord fic
Yay new chapter I thought this died
Please don't abandon. Please don't abandon. Please don't abandon. Please please please don't abandon!!!!
I have a suspicion on who she kisses and who was trying to help her see the manipulation based on the group I found this in, and if that's true then OMG YES!!! Most would assume SHE was part of the shitty manipulation.... but I know why she wouldn't be... but oh please continue this!!!
Hello?