Since Ancient times, great and powerful beings have clashed and been defeated by the Elements of Harmony, but not all of these beings are content to sit and wait much longer. With one enemy of Equestria slowly returning, a Pegasus mare is thrown into the center of confusion and choice. As her life changes, from the being and more, she must decide her path on this road of questions; what will she do, what will she say, who will she trust, what will her friends hate her if they found out, what will she have for dinner and is the thing that's sorta in her head really all that dangerous? All she knows is Discord also coming along for the ride doesn't make things any easier.
<Brand spanking new with an actual idea of where to go and the motivation to take it there! Story takes place between Season 2 and Season 3, cause that's where the show kinda was when the story began!>
There were a few bits that I couldn't quite understand, but not too bad!
Good to see you're getting started, and your characters are interesting! 
My recommendation: work a bit on your descriptive writing skills. You can check out "My Little Ponybots" for what I would hope are good examples of this...
It's been a heavily descriptive story for me, and will hopefully provide some guidance. Or just read "The Scarlet Letter" (A bit more boring, though. Skip the first 42 pages, you won't miss much.) 
Well K was standing in front of a mirror talking to himself, "What do you mean my plan won't work?"
Let me guess 'Nopony would answer right?'
I don't know if the quotation marks got messed up here, but I couldn't understand it...
"It's not poisoning per say. It is... uh..." He stumbles to find the right words as the sarcastic voice said "What? 'Making her see the light'? We should lure them here into a trap before they find us!"
You stumbled into present tense in what seems to be a past-tense part of the story...
I think that one thing that you're having trouble with is not talking TO the audience when you're narrating. For instance, the final paragraph is all written as if you were speaking to someone who isn't there. As the narrator, you have to remain aloof when you're not going to be face to face with your audience.
And, as you said to me before, you do seem to struggle with commas.
Can you unlock all others chapters for me. i need material for my riffs
1893440 I'll PM the links to them.
1893477
k
you should probably republish all the other chapters and then just write (rewritten) once you rewrite each chapter.
1900770 It's just simpler for me this way. Since I'm changing things that would confuse people if they read an old chapter then the next chapter is rewritten. Luckily I'm working on chapter two right now! I'll try to rewrite one each day.
1900793
Ok. i'm glad you kept in the "He always did like nature" line. And I love the addition of the 'poisoning' of Luna was the cause of nightmare moon.
1900855 I thought some things weren't obvious enough. And I needed to say how the mirror worked.
And so it begins! Finally got this out. Only alot more to go.
2149151
EHRMAGEHRD! It has arrived!
(Did you notice that the black tree chapter 5 has also arrived?)
What black tree was PYROontheAIR talking about?
9142788
Old story from a long time ago, like 2013 time ago, think he cancelled it though. The Prologue and first chapter have comments that are positively ancient! They serve as nice reminders for me to keep going overall.