Twilight, who is in the room with her dear mentor, is getting very, very uncomfortable right now. The sun mare just won't stop bothering her, and she's acting like a total child! Where was her seriousness just a moment ago?
"Sppparrrkle! So? Tell me all about it! Come on! I need to know!"
"No way. You said somepony needed help!"
"Story first, ponies later. Wait, what came first: the story, or the ponies?"
"Not this question again, princess..."
"Answer me!"
"I refuse to!"
"Very well then; you must duel me." The sun pony teleports the two of them into an unknown void.
"Celestia, where have you taken us?"
"Quiet!" She yells out at her. "You know what happens when you disobey your mentor."
"Oh no. No no no. I'm sorry! I just need to see what happens to the stallion and the mare!" By this time, Twilight is sweating by the gallons.
"Well, it's too late to take it back, Twilight!" With what sounds like a thousand years of practiced evil laughs beforehand, Celestia effortlessly summons a massive, soul-eating blade, filled to the brim with red glowing energy-- and not only that, it duplicates itself five thousand times, all pointed at the purple alicorn within a matter of ten seconds. "You had plenty of time to answer me! NOW! Face your DOOM!"
She pulls her horn back, and each and every single one of the blades retracts, and then flies toward the mare with a flick of the wrist-- and a sip of coffee for that extra oomph. She did miss her afternoon nap, of course.
"Celestia! I don't understand why you're attacking me like this!" The purple alicorn musters up a shield, and when the swords connect, they barely stab through, causing Twilight to wince at the sight.
"It's called adrenaline, Twilight! Every author gets it, when suddenly all they want to do is write action! So. I need to DELIVER!" She puts a hoof to her chin. "All this because my dear sister won't get her certain package, too. Hum. Oh well! DIE with a one!"
With a few snaps in every direction, and a front flip to confirm, Twilight's shield cracks-- and eventually fades into worthless dust.
"Well. If it's a fight you want, then," Twilight poofs the book away. "It's a fight you're going to get! I'M an author too!"
She whips out a writer's badge.
"No! Impossible! I thought you were just a book worm!"
"That's what you thought! Now."
Twilight focuses some form of energy within her, and after only a matter of seconds, the flying swords that Celestia had are all at once deflected by a plethora of shotguns that knocks the soul-eating weapons into the void.
"Quite impressive, my dear student, but it only builds from here!"
Celestia responds with her own, thousand custom-made sniper rifles.
"Squad? Take aim! Fire!"
"Not if I can stop it!"
Immediately, the shotguns that Twilight once had transmutes into miniguns.
"You wouldn't dare!"
"I do dare, thank you!"
And so, the barrage of deadly bullets against oceans of pellets begins.
Discord is just taking his afternoon stroll in the void when he somehow sees that Celestia and Twilight are having the ultimate showdown right in the middle of space, and most importantly, right in front of his face. Oo, burn, Discord. Good thing I'm just the narrator of your current reading, he didn't hear that-- hopefully. Most of all, his space, and they're blocking the (unseen) pathway that he usually takes. He teleports in between the midst of their angst.
"Alicorns! Alicorns! Just what is going on here? Can a fellow Discord just not get his fix of a hike?" He crosses his arms and waits for their response, and he also looks at you, as if you were to blame for all of this. Immediately, the two stop to blink, and then they conclude to fire towards him instead. "Woooah! Ooh! Ahh! Eee!" He's doing his best to dodge approximately two thousand shotguns, five hundred mini-guns, a thousand sniper rifles, two million pistols, five hundred bazookas, and fifteen plasma cannons all at once. And a random Celestia plushie. "Waaaah! How did this even happen?"
"She won't answer my question!" Celestia yells out, doubling all amounts of guns she currently has.
"She won't take me to the pony that needs help!" Twilight increases the velocity of her bullets.
Discord stops trying to dodge, he looks about, and then he thinks of something. "Hmmn. I suppose the two of you need some serious help, then. Allow me!"
He summons two chairs right then and there, and to add, a nice, cozy big chair for himself. He locks the two of them in stasis and pretends to reel them both in with his short arms. All of the guns float about and are rendered useless, and both of the alicorns are frozen-- Celestia has an angry look, and Twilight has a brave one.
"Pffft. Hahah! You should see the look on your two faces right now." He summons forth some mirrors for them to see; no reaction. "Oh. Right. You're both in stasis. Ah well, that's no fun." He turns them back into their normal selves. "So, what was this... question, Celestia?"
"What came first! The story, or the ponies?"
"Obviously the writer."
Celestia blinks. "Oh my. I didn't think of that."
"But then, what came first? The writer, or the author?"
"Now now, Twilight. Don't go asking questions that are above your current power level. But, if you insist... the writer's parents!" He smiles and his one-tooth sparkles in the dark void. Both Celestia and Twilight laugh their flanks off.
The purple alicorn continues. "So, how was your day, Celestia?"
"Oh, it was something..."
"Wait, Princess, wasn't there somepony that needed help?"
"Nah! They're fine. They're a big pony now, they can handle themselves."
And so, the pleasant conversation between two alicorns and a draconequus carries on... of course, still leaving Luna in the hospital. There is a knock on the door, and at this point, Luna is comfortable enough to turn her head.
"Celestia? Are you there?"
The door opens shyly. "Princess, may I come in?" A voice starts.
"Sure!" Luna smiles.
A certain aqua mare with silver hair about her peeks past the door, seemingly covering something on her face.
"Oh. Trixie?"
"Luna, I--I-..."
Trixie's eyes dart over to you, or so you think. They then focus back on Luna.
"I wanted to hug you..." Reluctantly, her cheek passes the door and she looks down with tears on her face, blush as red as it could ever be. "But. Nopony would let me."
"Please, Trixie." Luna giggles. "You have part of the moon on your butt! Why wouldn't I let you hug me?"
"Because Twilight wouldn't let me." Her tears are falling at this point. Luna takes a moment to acknowledge her sadness, but then again, she just has to ask something.
"Wait. You don't happen to have a package, do you?" The moon pony bounces about. Most of her pain has disappeared by now. "Because, if you do, I'll let you hug me twice!"
"Package? What package?" Trixie looks up excitedly, forgetting that she was ever crying.
"Go, Trixie, go. Find me the package I need! Find me... TWILIGHT! She's the package!" Luna grins with a corrupt smile.
"Okay, Luna!"
She shuts the door happily.
The blue alicorn turns to you.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that? I just figured, why not get them to hug me... at the same time?! Weee!" She fantasizes as she snickers to herself.
You stare hopelessly as she wiggles around in her cast. If anything, you want to hug her too.
Pinkie Pie: Hey! How come they break the fourth wall and I'm not?!?
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Celestia: Hehe! That's a good question.
Twilight: Oh no...
I feel like I need to use this 'story' to cleanse my pallet of more 'serious' stories. It is a refreshing taste in stupidity that is kind of cathartic in a weird way. Of course, there is also the nail-biting plot. I have to keep reading to find out if Luna ever gets her 'package'.
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Oh, GildedSteel.
This is a very 'serious story'.
It just happens to be... addictive and funny in its immediate nature.
So; that said, the hidden messages remain. Merely a well-crafted plot? Or something else? Shall new definitions of life be revealed?
Give that a second. And expect V within the upcoming 24 hours. ( )
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Hmmm.... yeah. Yeah I think I see them. These chapters certainly outline a new definition of life. Which is preferable to a new definition of death, as a general rule. I certainly would like to think that life with a moody immortal pony who acts like a foal and is afraid to give hugs while she secretly desires to receive hugs is a life that would make me ask a number of important philosophical questions. Like if a new definition of death makes a lot of living people dead, or a lot of dead people alive.
Such is life.
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If anything, apart from the deep seriousness of "why is this person not writing the next chapter already?"
And "can this get even cuter?!"
I beg this only question. Are you ready for what's in store?
:]