That was a close one! One hour to spare!

This concludes the Sun's tale of romance that has waited thousands of years.

So who wants her to have a magic futa sun penis and blow a load in Twilight big enough to make her look pregnant?

7686690 This guy.

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I second that.

I thought of Corpse Bride while reading this sories' short bio.

nuu D:

tat pussi is anchent

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And thirded! Motion passes, right?

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In the name of Tyrion the Schlong, the young ones smell prettier, but the old ones know more tricks.

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YES!

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You with us, guys?

That authors note sounds like something I heard at the Renaissance fair also I thought celestia would drag twilight into the coffin with her and they'd be together for all time

7686948 yup

7686690 yes
also some give from twi would be good

That was gorgeously written.

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I've been making up a bunch of random bullshit when telling people about my patreon. I could just have the standard greeting and thanks at the end of every chapter/story, but making up stories feels more fun. I have things like getting into a fistfight with a half orc and need to cover the bartab, and earning the ire of the king for secretly meeting with his daughter. It stands out a little more, and makes a meta sense because not only is my avatar is Gimble the Bard, but I got the name Journeyman from a roleplay character who happened to be a bard.

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It looks like the consensus is an additional chapter. Or maybe two or three depending on how my muse comes to me. Twilight might be feeling adventurous and try more than missionary.

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It's always a pleasure to see my work appreciated.

7687264 personaly i would like to see a whole story come of this with twilight dealing with old memeories and finding out about her past life and what lunas reaction would be if she's still alive

I have no plans to read this, but I am curious as to just how Twilight's arms in the cover pic can be in the position they are. It doesn't seem physically possible.

7687352 all you gotta do is put your hands behind the back then mummifie

7687415 I get that, but it looks like her forehoof hands are "holding" the back of her shoulders. If that's the case, her arms have got to be in pain.

It would be cool to get the other half (more like nine tenths) of the story we're missing. Maybe Luna put in some safeguards should Celestia ever be freed?

Some sexy safeguards.

Ancient Egypt Equestria sounds like a really cool setting I'd love to read more about!

7687761 Pretty sure those are her wings, not hooves.

7687761 after zooming in on the picture they are either her wings or somepony is pushing her from behind

THis story could go further. so no upvote.

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It's an anthro picture, not a humanized one like the story. It is the closest thing I could find that was thematically appropriate. Her arms are being pinned behind her back while what you are seeing over her shoulder are her wings. If you want something more detailed, ask the artist, not me.

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When I was scripting this, I didn't intend for any more material than what is currently present; if you are looking for more, I am pleased you want more, but the story was written and scripted to be exactly what it is. It was meant to provide just enough context for sexy times and nothing else. I do truly enjoy writing erotica more than just straight porn, but doing it to this one would have made it considerably longer than it already is. I'm looking at somewhere between fifteen and twenty thousand. I've written damn near sixty thousand words in October alone, which is redonkulous.

However, I did not know how much I'd enjoy what little backstory there is. Equestria is more Greek than anything, so it was fun coming up with an alternate history. I made it a point to not describe the modern world at all because it wasn't important to the sex or the setting. I even avoided all mention of what happened to Luna, or even how much of the legend is actually true; Twilight is not sure if Celestia is a queen or goddess. There is some serious potential here, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to take it further. Not yet, though. I have one more story to finish off, and then sleep for a week. We'll see what we do afterwards. More sexing up Twilight is guaranteed, but after that, who knows? I will be making a poll for my patreons after my chores today to choose what I work on first of all my planned stuff, so anyone is free to cast their vote there.

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Are you trying to leverage an upvote against me? That is the impression I am getting.

7688120 nah. Saying that you could of had my upvote. The story just feels like their should be more.

I liked the build up and your writing style.
And I definitely want to know what happens next, but I'm content with the current ending.
However, there were some small spelling mistakes and sentences that were a bit unclear--but they weren't a big deal.
Nothing a little proof-reading can't fix.

It was clearly a religious sanctuary of some kind with its quartet of obelisks, carved depictions of gods, and alter, but otherwise the room was left somewhat bare

I think you meant "altar"?

Liquid gold as radiant and beautiful as the sun looked back at her.

For me, this sentence was a bit confusing to read.

A serenade by their private ? ending with Twilight moaning and gripping the lush bedsheets

Did you mean private chambers or room?

Celestia came in for a kis of her own now, this one considerably more hungry.

That's "kiss" yeah?
These were just some mistakes that I noticed but, overall, your story was beautiful and sweet.

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Well, I appreciate the response, and I understand that this works better as a complete, self-contained story. Look forward to your future works!

Refreshing and wonderful.
I really appreciate the backstory

Must try to make sequel!

I feel as though I should point out that you (hilariously enough) misspelled "writing" in the Goals section of your Patreon page.

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I blame my tiny Chromebook screen. Yup.

That was really good. I liked the build up and it did push a button lol. Good job man :)

Now I am interested in the back story of this world
Also hot

this was good but short, still faved it thou and would love one like this with Luna/Selena too.

Out of all the things I've written, the first one to get featured is about a reincarnated girl getting head by her amazonian egyptian queen/goddess that's risen from the dead...

...

...

I'm going to go play some Doom.

7687761 No, I mean that her arms are being tied back, into a probably painful position but it is possible to get into that position on your own.
The picture also has her mummified which would allow bindings to hold her arms like that.

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This is a variation of the box tie and karada, or "rope dress". What Twilight is doing is holding her arms behind her back and grabbing onto the opposing arm just above the elbow, forming a box-like shape behind the back. It's common because it doesn't put much tension on the arms or back and thus allows you to hold it for an extended period. The linen wraps are simulating a rope dress where a person is tied up almost like a web, restricting a lot of movement but not all of it outright.

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Let's be fair, this fandom is 50% perverted on one side an 50% feels on the other.

Well, that escalated quickly. And hotly.

7692626 wrong 45% porn, 5% feels, 15% gore, 35% random

wonderful story and very sexy! love it!!!

pls dont ruin it by adding futa tho

Someone downvote spammed all comments supporting a futa chapter. I think you forget that your fellow readers all commeted yes. Downvote spamming is not going to sway me.

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good idea, but make sure to find a way to punish the ppl who upvoted those comments too, for also having and expressing their opinions on a matter that u specifically asked for feedback on

lol

also just advice for the future, ur announcement that ur gonna punish someone for not being a yes-man will probably have a bigger impact if u dont also tell them that the punishment was gonna happen regardless

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good idea, make sure to find a way to punish the ppl... expressing their opinions on a matter that u specifically asked for feedback on

That would be true, if it weren't false:

It looks like the consensus is an additional chapter. Or maybe two or three depending on how my muse comes to me. Twilight might be feeling adventurous and try more than missionary.

No one expressed an opinion for the latter other than yourself, which is one vote in a pool of many. I neither expect any one person to be the voice of the pros or cons, nor inherently value one over the other. I appreciate you liking this short as it is, and understand that you are not the only one who likes it, as vanilla it may be. My little nod of appreciation, however, is not enough to make up for the laundry list of things you did wrong in two sentences.

First off, this story was fully intended to end with one final scene where Celestia does use her magic and become a futanari, a fact I told no one and the reason why I asked the question in the first place. I cut the final sex portion for time because i was on a deadline.

Two, the upvotes were expressing their endorsement of that notion, not their distaste.

Three, even if the numbers were reversed, I did not nor will I ever make such a decision based on upvotes alone, especially when using fimfiction's upvote/downvote system. It's a number. Clicking an up or down arrow is as easy as getting pregnant. Ordering pizza is harder. Don't agree? Well, how often do you see people accidentally order pizza? An upvote or downvote provides no context or reasoning. It is a numerical value that is inherently worthless. I make those decisions based on actual, vocal responses, not people who try to passive aggressively try to use a flawed numerical system to affect my decision. I could understand downvoting my own comment--at least that is self-contained--but all of them is just being spiteful and no writer worth his salt is going to be dissuaded by such a tactic.

I asked for opinions, not suppressing things you don't like. Just because the internet has granted you anonymity, that does not give you the right to act with petulance.

In short, I received many endorsements, and one veto. I was going to make it because I liked the idea; why in god's name would I offer to make it if I wasn't? It's not punishment if the votes are not in your favor.

Take a time out before your next comment and think carefully. It won't be the first time I've had to give a commenter a spanking. I'm not banning you yet, but understand that I lose nothing by doing so. I don't value upvotes as bargaining leverage. See my comment to Ponyform.

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well, im exactly 1 person, and theres 2 downvotes there. maybe its less impotent rage and more ppl thinking ur being an ass about this? lol u made this comment before i even had put my downvote there

exactly what better results is debating gonna yiield? no, really, what better results? ur gonna write the futa either way, nothings gonna happen to me or my account either way. there is 0 change in results whether i debate u (which i was writing the response to do so while u were posting this comment anyway lol) or say nothing. what, does a really good debate earn me a cookie or something?

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gloat about how u were punishing that person

No, I was doing it because it was popular opinion. I was calling out that certainly unknown person whose name I certaintly don't know because rather than actually express an opinion, they were trying to use the downvotes to suppress an opinion they didn't like, which also occurred when a certain comment was posted. I was going to make it regardless because that was what popular opinion demanded; the downvotes had nothing to do with expediting that.

first of all, how the hell is anyone supposed to know u dont make a decision based on the up/downvotes of a post asking for a yes/no opinion?

Because I didn't ask for upvotes or downvotes, I asked for opinions, and I certainly didn't ask people to mass downvote all other comments they don't agree with. I respect negative opinions as long as they don't tread on the toes of others, which is what happened here.

You seem to fail to understand that I am taking into account other people's opinions because they acted like human beings and not some petulant child devolving into insults when things don't go their way. I was watching for popular opinion, and while I did count your comment, I don't count your downvotes because while I do not see the value of them, others do. I don't want to have my comments be a place where people fear expressing themselves, even if their comments are critical of my stories or me as a person. Be an actual adult and discuss it with me and others. The reply button is there for a reason. It's to talk to other people on the site.

See, the difference between some commenters giving or receiving upvotes is that they don't use it as a weapon. Ten downvotes to your name on one story. That's not expressing an opinion, that's expressing hatred.

true, but deciding to announce that ur doing it out of spite now makes the question of votes or basic wanting to irrelevant. u wanted to rub it in my face that u were now doing it specifically to bother me.

Nope. While I had a very strong suspicion that it was you because of the timing of the downvotes and your comment, I didn't call you out. I didn't rub it in your face at all until you called yourself out because you hated something someone else liked. Also, you seem unable or unwilling to read my past comments:

It looks like the consensus is an additional chapter.

Don't think you are so important that you are what broke the camel's back; I had already made the decision.

lol ok another bit of free advice here: this is not as compeling or intimidating as u may think

That's a statement, not advice, and I haven't even brought up your inability to use the basics of grammar and spelling correctly. Read a book. Or a dictionary. Because no, a debate doesn't get you a cookie. It gives you the chance of being taken seriously. And being able to comment on stories.

I really love the backstory, and how it was revealed in little pieces. I feel like there's a LOT of potential here, and it'd be a shame for it to be wasted.

That said, this story was sloppy. Spelling errors, grammatical errors, missing words. The thing as a whole felt rushed, unpolished, and unfinished. I get that it's clop, but good clop transitions smoothly from story to sex and back. This did not accomplish that goal.

This story is an uncut diamond covered in mud. It needs work, but the potential in it is obviously immense. Please keep working on it. In the meantime, liked and tracked.

I kinda want to see where it goes form here and Celestial trying to adapt to a modern world. Learning English and living with twilight.