Our protaganist's life (mine) turns from dramatic to tragic in a single moment...but then an out-of-left-field event happens, and I find myself in an alternate universe version of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic where the only difference seems to be Queen Chrysalis hatches a new queen years before the 1,000th Summer Sun Celebration...and I'm that new queen.
Jumping in on this particular bandwagon. Tagged "Gore" for the opening chapter (and possibly later chapters) and "Sex" because you can't mention any part of the reproductive process without the sex tag on this site.
Chapters (13)
So, I was about to go to bed, when I saw a changeling in the new stories list. I decided to read this before I slept, assuming that it would be a mediocre read at best. I assumed that it wouldn't keep me up, that it wouldn't kick my mind into high gear.
I was VERY wrong on that front. Not only was the writing high quality(imo), but its also a premise that I always enjoy reading about. People always have a different take on this type of story, changeling or not, and you haven't left me disappointed in the slightest. I find myself adding yet another high-quality read to my watch list.
You've also left my mind ablaze, with only the three chapters you've released. This always happens when I read something I like a lot. I try to think on what path the author might take. I try to glean as much info about the story as I can with what little I have. I'm going to have a VERY hard time falling asleep tonight due to your quality writing good sir.
I eagerly await the next chapters.
great start, do you plan on a time skip now or more foal stuff
7942109
I'm trying not to timeskip as a badly as I did for DTT. :) I'll be doing some jumps forward, but only when there's nothing interesting happening worth writing about.
7941806
Oh, stop, I'm blushing!
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Interesting start. Always happy to read new fics featuring Chryssie.
Hahah, welp, at least he's calm about this.
D'awwww, Chryssie as a mommy.
Like it so far, a lot. I was worried for a moment that he'd leave just life that, I imagine Chryssie would've been devastated.
Very well written, can't wait for him to learn enough to be able to communicate with his new mom.
This man seems very idiotic too me.
In the case that he gets home, what is he going to do? Go to his wife's house knock on the door and say "Hey honey, turns out I'm not dead, I just got transported to another dimension where I got turned into a bug-horse and the opposite gender, oh, and I'm also a baby. Wanna fuck?." or is he just assuming he'll get turned back into a grown, male, human.
7942968 Yes.
7942968
7943357
Refer to: The Name of the Chapter
The cellphone scene was a little too cheesy in my opinion, but the rest was well written.
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7942968 You forgot to include the part about how she despises him enough to falsely accuse him of abuse in a courtroom, a clear sign there is a 'happy' relationship waiting for him back on Earth.
I'm torn about this story so far, the bits about his ex-wife, and how much he pins for her, kinda of annoy me.
But the rest is really well written and picked my interest.
7943412 But that's readiiiiiiiiiiing!
This is great. I never understood why the Self-Insert is hated so much.
7944133
Two reasons, actually:
1.) Most self-insert in other fandoms tends to be the first thing written by an author out the gate, and the culture of said fandoms tends to not allow for the learning curve. Brony culture has, pretty much from it's foundation, been the sort to accept first attempts for what they are and positive feedback is not just the norm, it's expected for just about any creative endeavor. Card games, plushies, crafts, software, stories, art...you name it, Bronies are willing to deal with the obnoxiousness of the first effort and nurture interest and growing skill. This approach helps the newbie creator leave their ego at the door (you're far less likely to defend dreck to the death if your effort and intent in creating said dreck is acknowledged and praised rather than attacked simply because you're not a Hemingway or Tolkien right out the gate), resulting in feedback being accepted and used with far greater frequency than it would be otherwise. Also, this friendlier treatment creates a positive feedback loop: Create something, get praised, desire to create more results, create another something, get more praise, etc. It's not long before the S.I. fic in Brony-dom is a master-work and the creator is moving on to other works, sometimes other fanfics, sometimes completely original stuff.
2.) Most S.I. main characters are Mary-sues without the mask. They're "perfect," they're everyone's best friend, they always get their waifu/senpai, and they always save the day. MLP:FiM is a universe with already established "perfect" characters (the Alicorns) who still get their ass handed to them periodically. It's like the setting is designed to prevent Plot Dominance by a Mary-sue. (I don't think that's the case, but it just happens to be such)
This is pretty good. Can't wait for more
Wow I can't wait to see what happens next keep up the good work update more soon please
This is one of the most interesting and high quality fics I've found in a while. The premise isn't new, but the execution is just....I can't seem to put how good it is into words!
Maybe that's because I need sleep.
Whatever!
I love the depth of this with the numbness and denial he (she now) is experiencing. It means so much more when that kind of detail is involved.
I was not expecting much when I saw the cover, but man, were my expectations flipped! I'm happy to say that I'm eagerly looking forward to seeing more! 
7947474
Yeah, I kinda need a better cover, but I can't find something that captures how the thing starts plus where I'm going to take it.
Yay a quote from John green makes anything better :) very well writain chapter :)
7947708
Amusingly, though I own "Fault in Our Stars", I've never read it past chapter 2. I love his YouTube videos, but his written works and the movies based on it are just...not my cup of tea. He does have MAGNIFICENTLY quotable material, though.
Man I have read a lot of stories with this premise but this has to be the best executed I have found so far :)
Straczynski or Straczyński? Who's that? 'Cause it sounds like a Polish name.
Well. This is some good shit. I want more already.
This could be a good story, I hope to seen more of this story.
7947864
J. Michael Straczynski, creator of Babylon 5, writer of the best of the Real Ghostbusters episodes, and if you're watching modern media, co-creator of Sense8, and he has more awards for his work than most people have fingers and had an asteroid named after him.
How bad does the Gore get ?
7947630 I think that's okay. The biggest reason I decided to try reading it was because of the upvote/downvote ratio. I figured there must be something special about it if it has so many upvotes per downvote!
Probably was empty, fuel liquids don't like exploding. Their vapors sure as heck do though.
Hmmmmmm, I like the concept so far. Now to see how the execution is.
This was a bit of a surprise, with the current cover being what it is (sexy-long-mane-pony version of Chrysalis). I always love the stories that begin, at the beginning! re-born into a new body, not just suddenly appearing as if from nowhere.
7949939
Pretty much just what was in Chapter 1. Gratuitous gore in writing (especially in MLP) always struck me as a, "Hey, read my edgy, edgy fic!" move. Given the visual of car parts jammed through a human body, I figured I'd better throw the "Gore" tag up, even if that's the most gory scene in the entire fic.
7950096
Egads! I must really be on to something here, I've already got content analysis going!
7950457
I analyze a lot, basically every story that happens to catch my attention. In concept, this story seems similar to Changing Views but with a heavier tie to the protagonist's past. The exploration of changeling moral norms and perhaps a re-imagining of events is what I am looking forward to. So you do have my interest.
The execution of the story is good so far. Sentence structure, spelling, and grammar are all there (even if the occasional word is not). I noticed a few places where the wrong word was use or just missing. Chapter length is shorter than I would like considering the scope this story seems to be headed towards, but I feel that can be made up with the number of posts; work, life, and all other things considered of course.
I am curious if the protagonist will discover she has some infant changeling qualities beyond the hive-mind connection. Infants of humans are able to pick up sounds and language quicker than adults; so I am hoping for some other small changes that will become more apparent to the baby queen.
Actually, seasons one, two , and three all take place over the span of a year. In a little under a year, Twilight Sparkle had moved to Ponyville and became a princess. I would like to think that three seasons for us make one year for them, but I can't prove that seasons four, five, and six take place over a year.
But where is my proof, you may ask. Well, we have seen several birthdays in seasons one to three, but never for the same pony twice. Holidays like Hearths Warming, Hearts and Hooves day, Nightmare Night, and the Summer Sun Celebration all happened exactly one time in those three seasons. Even minor events like the Ponyville Elementary talent show happened once and once only in those three seasons.
We have seen a second Nightmare Night episode and a second Hearths Warming episode, but those were after season three.
However, the best evidence that I have to prove my point is that the season four premiere heavily implies that it has been one year. Looking at the transcript for Princess Twilight Sparkle, Part 1, we can see Princess Celestia say "For my subjects, it has always been a celebration of my defeat of Nightmare Moon. But for me... [sighs] It was just a terrible reminder that I'd had to banish my own sister," and "But now it has become a wonderful reminder of her transformation back into Princess Luna, and our happy reunion. I am so pleased that you will be playing a role in the festivities. I know it must have been difficult to see your friends return to Ponyville without you."
Why would Princess Celestia say that if it had been three years with Princess Luna back? Why would she say that if it had been any Summer Sun Celebration other than the one thousand and first?
7943430
It was cheesy, but with just the right amount of pepperoni and garlic. Mmmm...
7951607
Oh, I'll be commenting on the whole "time" thing in another format, but minor spoiler on that; I don't buy that even just Season 1 took place in a single 12-month year. Back during the S01-S02 hiatus, I sat down and mapped out each event, made some educated guesses on context, figured out seasonal shifts, moved episodes up and down the timeline to account for the "this is the first season of a 22-minute toy commercial targeted at little girls, who gives a f**k about production quality" effect, and the end result was that S01 takes place over at least 18 months.
That's not even taking into account the individual character's growth. Not such an easy thing to detect among the Mane 6, sure, but the CMCs are maturing at pace throughout the run of the show, both in writing and in how they're performed, to the point where they've aged roughly 4-6 years from S01E01 to today. This isn't even counting the other off-screen events that have to happen for the series to function as it does narratively.
As to Celestia's statement, I think of it like the excessive exposition that happens when the Friendship Express is used to start an episode. (DWK calls it "The Exposition Express" for a reason) It's a narrative tool that's handled in a...somewhat hamfisted way. Perhaps this is the first time she feels comfortable revealing this information, since she's no longer dealing with a subject or student but a peer? Maybe it's because Luna had been the only other pony who knew what happened and Twilight is privy to LOADS more information than nearly all of the rest of Equestria combined as her position as The Element of Magic.
Point is; it makes loads more sense from a story perspective and a chronological perspective to have the current run of the show last 5-6 years in-show. (And I'm not even touching the EQG universe yet)
7951607 I discount that. it's a year a season. 1-3 can't be one year because pinkie has two birthdays in that time.
7953334
I am fine with restructuring the timeline, because we don't have to be constrained by the limitations of an episodic 22-minute toy commercial. Here on FiMFiction we can make it more epic.
I recall reading one fic in which it was revealed that the main six stumbled around in Everfree Forest for upwards of a week -- in a far more involved and taxing venture than we saw in the cartoon -- before defeating Nightmare Moon. And you know what? I liked that idea. I like making it more epic.
As for touching EqG. . . Please don't!
As for this story, I'm following. Even though there are some elements that I'm not too fond of and would do differently (for example, neither the show or comics have ever hinted at a "hive mind"), it's well-written, and I want to see where this leads.
7953437
There's a few dozen fanfics that use this, and it really does work nicely. My personal preference is they managed to get through in the course of a night, especially since later seasons established that the Castle of the Two Sisters is canonically only a couple hours walk from Ponyville once you know the path.
Me: I'm touching EQG! *touches*
Sunset Shimmer: Stop touching me!
I'll be doing some playing in this sandbox, but not a lot.
Yeah, the hive mind is definetly a fanon creation. I like it, though, and as there's nothing directly contradicting it in the show (hard canon) or comics and books (soft canon), I'm using it. :)
7953482
Oh, the castle. . . The one that, at the beginning of the series, was merely a 1000-year-old crumbling ruin, yet later somehow had intact rooms and hallways, semi-intact tapestries, books, suits of armor, still-working traps, pipe organ, etc, etc. Because it made for a fun story, never mind contradicting what we've seen before.
Personally, my approach to "canon" is that Season 1 and 2 are real (minus Cadance having wings, since that was a last-minute change and a forewarning of madness to come) and everything after that is some kind of delirious fever dream. Which I guess makes me Quibble Pants. But that's OK. Because he's part of the delirious fever dream too. (And the Daring Do books are actually written by Twilight's mom anyhow! Nyah!
)
7953889
We're all allowed to have our headcanons. I have a headcanon for Star Trek that never featured that horrible, should never have been produced, hamfisted, preachy "Greenpeace" episode. Star Wars doesn't have Midichlorians, Nowhere Man didn't have the weird episodes halfway through, O'Neil and Carter get married after Richard Dean Anderson left Stargate, and the eighth Harry Potter movie was more like the books than the movie.
Last scene in this chapter is poignant. I wonder how Chrysalis interprets all of this? Maybe a side-chapter, or even a side-story, from her point of view would be in order. Or if that would be too spoilery or distracting right now, maybe it's something you could come back to later.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
"In equesteria"
Well my little pony y...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
What in the name of equis was that Celestia.
That was a brony screaming for more chapters.
Hahahhahah that ending made me laugh I don't know why tho
You, good sir, deserve a follow
Ohhh. Well now this is about to get all kinds of interesting.
7953977 more please
I admire the strength it must have took you to write this, you're a good author.
In response to the annotation at the top of chapter 4 - Anger
Don't feel rushed to release new chapters if you're struggling with your emotions. I'd rather you be happy and have delayed chapter releases over you struggling with your emotions and not being happy.
Good chapter. Emotions allowing the character to progress is something I see often in these types of fics, but you've done it better than most. I eagerly await the next chapter whenever it may come!
"lived"
While this chapter was difficult for you, and I am sorry for that, I can't help but be put off by the angst. Maybe it is cause I cannot relate or it is a reminder of how 'angsty' all the other self-inserts I have read have been; it just felt weak too me. The protagonist seems like the ultimate smoothie of "I hate my life". Combined with the hive mind being the typical instant gain of knowledge I have seen far too often, this was not a good chapter for me. It looks like other people have enjoyed it and I will keep reading since I am hoping for something new, an odd twist, and/or a situation handled differently.
Keep writing, just ask if you want me to explain something, and see you next chapter.