Twilight knows Starlight Glimmer has been reformed under her guidance. Er, mostly—she’s still a work in progress, but there is no doubt Starlight is improving in her eyes.
However, there’s just one bad habit Twilight noticed that’s been nagging at her ever since she first saw it. But how would she converse about it? Should it be handled delicately? And when would she bring it up?
Today. Today, she would talk about it.
This was a pretty amusing story. For a while there at the start I thought that only Alicorns could see the mark and that meant Starlight was indeed meant to be the next princess. Starlight and everyone else would just be confused while Twilight ran herself ragged trying to figure it out.
I especially liked the part with Rainbow dash and Pinkie, it was funny word play.
Though I do wonder why Twilight never did anything about Luna's note. Maybe she was peeved that Luna munched all her cookies.
After fighting that octopus, you bet Starlight's flank belongs to Spike.
this gave me a good laugh i wish i could write comedy like this.
She did, didn't she, at the end of "Magical Mystery Cure?" When Fluttershy said, "You look just like a princess," Celestia responded, "That's because she is a princess", and even had a coronation for her, crowning her as Equestria's newest princess, which she says outright in the episode.
It makes sense that Twilight would suspect the Crusaders, seeing as how they're mischievous, but how could she expect them to know how to pull off something like that? And who's the fourth filly that Twilight accused? It couldn't have been either Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon seeing as how they're both reformed.
Silly, and I remember seeing that pic before. Was funny.
Who disliked this? The weiner, butt, and poo jokes were so inventive!
It was really good. The true culprit comes at no surprise.
I guessed it,I guessed it was Luna!Yay!
Great Story!
HOW CAN PEOPLE HATE THIS!?!?!?
This was really cute and fun, from the alliteration the reveal of the final prankster and their motivations, it was great fun from start to finish. Bravo TOM.
Cue offended donkey.
Heh. That was a nice bit of largely mindless fun. Thank you for it.
Why was Trixie fantasizing Starlight Glimmer's flank?
...that was when I lost it.
7971590 This is a complete shot in the dark, but... Flurry Heart? Maybe she got a spell off despite Sunburst finding a way to reign her power in.
Aaaaaand cue three-minute laughing fit.
Not bad.
7973320 Except Flurry Heart isn't a filly; she's a foal.
Man that was funny.
I gota say... Just a quick glance at the picture and... I saw... "Meat princes" and the right back leg made it look like a stallions sheath.
7973546
She is a filly, actually! A filly foal if you want to get technical.
For Real Horse terms, it goes something like:
Foal = Any horse under a year old.
Filly = Female horse under four years of age.
Colt = Male horse under four years of age.
Mare = Female horse of four years +.
Stallion = Intact male horse of four years +.
Gelding = Castrated male horse, any age.
So a foal is always a filly or a colt, but fillies and colts aren't always foals! Obviously when you take into account that ponies probably don't have the same lifespan as regular horses there's a bit of fudging to do with the ages. And they probably don't have geldings.
7971524
Luna should have put it in the form of a checklist - Purple Smart NEVER ignores a checklist!
The humor in this is on point!
7973546 Like I said: shot in the dark.
Spike and Twilight......
i.lvme.me/6vtbqn5.jpg
That was hilarious.
7973654 You are not the only one.
gr8 story
dafu...?
"But instead, all I got were certain...orifices on my body invaded...yyyeah...fun times though!"
Well to be fair, Tirek COULD remove it...
*snrk*
Well...sex sells...I guess...
Wat.
She must've gotten the idea from Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara.
I was wondering how long it'd take Twilight to blame Celestia and/or Luna for this.
PHRASING, Twilight!!
I think the bit with Celestia reading Twilight the riot act was perhaps a bit poorly executed and heavy-handed. Aside from that though, this was exactly the laugh I needed exactly when I needed it!
Luna seemt to be a bit obsessed by Nightmare Night.
I guess you could call her a... Lunatic.
No?
I'll show myself out...
>“You summoned a giant octopus?!”
>“Well yeah! I thought those suction cups would take it off! Y’know, like a big, nasty, slimy, sticky bandage!”
Ultros gets no respect.
Very amusing story. Thank you
7974867
I'm happy to take credit for the "more offended"/"less offended" bit.
7976260 Yeah, that sounded like something you'd do.
7971590 What Celestia meant was that she did not tell Twilight that she would be the next princess BEFORE she became an Alicorn.
7977339 Ah, well, that could've been made a bit clearer.
But pineapples don't grow on trees...
Wow! That was definitely great!
Though honestly considering that Starlight was the one who actually did what Luna said, I feel that Luna should have put the word tattoo on Twilight.
really... really... really... *sigh* no... just no
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7971604 Didn't give a damn thing except all those years of tutelage. Twilight might have always had the potential to rise to princesshood, but she definitely would not have realized that potential without Celestia's aid. For example, Twilight's power-surges were dangerous if she hadn't been taught to keep control over her magic when under stress. Even if you ignore everything else at the very LEAST she only got the spell that transformed her because Celestia handed it to her to work on. No spell, no princess Twilight. So no matter what way you look at it, yes, Celestia was responsible, if indirectly, for Twilight's ascension.
Really, the whole point made was that Starswirl couldn't ascend because he didn't have friendship in his heart, so it's a power that seems to rely on others to realize, much like friendship itself.
7973670 Except in on the comics there's a place called "Gelding Grotto" which made me flinch a bit when I first noticed it on a map.
Also a yearling is a horse that's over a year old, hence A.K.Yearling's name.
I definitely liked the story. I gave it a like. It was 8th in the Feature box when I started reading it. 3rd as I posted this comment. I found it extraordinary enough that I am also giving you a critique.
The story did have some grammatically challenged bits, enough of them that I'm not going to list them. None were bad enough to throw me out of the story, which speaks more about the concept and delivery of the comedy than the existence of the errors. I acknowledge proofreading one's own stuff is difficult—this is why they invented pre-readers.
I also think that the story really ended with the throne room scene. The pace flags badly after that scene. The chemistry in the story is between Twilight and Starlight. Rather than being cryptic, Celestia could have simply asked if somepony purple hadn't decorated her castle for Nightmare Night. The cheesy ending of the scene could have been the perfect send off for the story. Whether you agree with my assertion or not, please take some time to analyze what I am saying. Concision is one of my bugaboos, too, so I have experience with this.
Please keep writing.
Is that right, or should it be "habit of not looking before she leaps"? It just seems like "not looking" makes more sense in context.
7984704
I was thinking the same thing. But then I put into consideration WHO said that and thought, it works the way it is. For one "What fun is there in making sense?" and for two if one seeks chaos than looking before leaping is actually a bad habit. (Even if it isn't true in Starlights case.)
This is a genuinely hilarious story, but I do actually hope Starlight is the next princess.
8003978 Not yet.
But, that's what we have season 7 for... and possibly season 8.
I have reviewed this HERE.
How am I supposed to interpret this?
Go Spike! Also what kind of experience?
Honestly this was super funny and I loved it. There need to be more pics like this.
Undaunted by the exclamation, Trixie continued, “With permission, of course. Trixie’s planning the newest, greatest show to grace the land of Equestria!” With a broad flourish, she announced, “The Great and Powerful Trixie’s Dangerously Optimistic Original Demonstration of Olfactory Odors!”
“...Doo Doo?” Twilight clarified.
Risky Boots: Don't call it that!
Lol the title is Ass instead of ask.
8004125
I actually noticed something. Starlight has accomplished everything that Twilight did to become a princess.
Was a student of a princess
The Pony of Shadows was her version of Nightmare Moon.
She beat Discord in the comics. By herself, I might add.
She stopped Crystalis and the Changelings. Even saving Cadence (Plus four other princesses) in the process.
She was instrumental in saving the Crystal Empire by restoring the Crystal Heart. Even had the clouds overcoming the empire.
She made a Starswirl spell better.
Where's her Damn wings? 😈
She's as ready as Twilight was when she got hers. Who had to fix her own f**kup, I might add