Acceptance (S)
I duck into a shadowed alcove and pull the cloak around me, holding my breath until the pair of guards passes and I can allow myself to relax a little. Just because I know what I need and where it is I can’t get careless. I was already almost spotted twice already since I arrived, and I’m not about to let myself get captured now that I've almost reached my goal.
Down one more short hallway and I’m at the small, inconspicuous door to what I remember to be a small study. I attempt a lockpicking spell, but it turns out the door is already open. After the last two years I can’t even say if that hints at a trap or if ponies are really that trusting and naïve. Maybe both.
I slip into the dark room and quietly close the door behind myself, then light my horn to shed soft orange light around myself, casting deep shadows around the room. A slim pedestal stands right ahead of me, a light crown resting on it with a star-cut amethyst as the centerpiece. The Element of Magic. I lick my lips and carefully step forward until I’m right in front of it, reaching out hesitantly with a hoof to–
“Just out of curiosity, what are you planning to do once you have it?”
I yelp and spin around to face the intruder while taking a step away from them, which leads to my flank bumping right into the pedestal. I let out another undignified yelp and quickly pounce it, wrapping both forelegs around the toppling block of marble to keep it from falling over and just barely catching the tip of the crown with my teeth.
I hear a melodic giggle from behind me and my face flushes as I remember that I’m supposed to be one of the greatest mages of my time which means using telekinesis should have been in the scope of my abilities. A lavender aura surrounds the crown and pedestal to gently pull them out of my grip and set them down again. I spit a little and stick my tongue out at the taste of cold metal and magic the crown left in my mouth, then turn around to frown at the pony.
I have to admit, seeing an alicorn about my own size and age standing across from me, wings spread and decked out in full royal regalia, leaves me speechless for a few seconds. I have more than enough experience in disrespecting authorities, though, so I shake it off quickly enough.
“You promised me not to tell anypony.”
Princess Queen (Doctor Princess Queen) Twilight Sparkle gives me a sly grin. “And I didn’t. But you weren’t really going to cross over into your home dimension and not even say hello, were you?” I glance away guiltily and she frowns. “Really, Sunset?”
“I didn’t want any trouble…”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh yes, because nothing says ‘no consequences’ like stealing a priceless and powerful magical artifact right out of the castle. If that was the reason, you wouldn’t have come over the moment the portal opened when we'd have three whole days to track you down again.”
She got me there. “I… I guess I didn’t feel up to facing anypony from home. Like I’d either break down crying or punch them in the face the moment I see them.”
“So, which one is it going to be?” She smirks and raises an eyebrow.
I take a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down. “N-nothing, for now… No promises if you bring Pr- Celestia into this, though.”
“I told you, I’m the only one who knows that you’re here.” She lights her horn and two seat pillows appear, one right behind me. I sit down nervously, still tense and ready to hightail it out of here any second.
“So, this was a trap after all?” I look around cautiously, glancing back at the crown.
Twilight frowns at me. “If you hate conversation and socializing that much, I suppose. You helped me more than I can ever repay, and I’ve never even seen you. I barely know anything about you, the you you are now, not that rebellious teenager from thirty moons ago.” Only thirty moons on the other side of the mirror, at least, but we both know what she means. She glances past me towards the crown. “Besides, I really was curious. What would you want the Element of Magic for? It doesn’t work without the other five, and the world I assume you would be taking it back to doesn’t even have any magic in the first place.”
“It doesn’t work here.” I mumble. She already knows what I was trying to do, so I might as well come clean. “If one of the Elements is separated from the others, and I mean really no-dice whole-other-dimension separated, you can unlock its power without any other prerequisites.”
She nods. “I see. But wouldn’t it go dormant again when you take it back to Equestria? And over there it might be useful, but from what little you said about those humans’ technology a single source of magic would only get you so far.”
I fold my ears back and look away, not saying anything. I’d mostly ignored the flaws and risks in my plan, primarily because I just didn’t have any better options.
“Soooo…” I venture eventually. “I guess you’re a Princess of Equestria now. Or are you Queen of the Changelings?”
“Both, actually.” Twilight rubs her neck. “Though I’m not going to act on it, now that this whole mess is sorted out. I’m not a ruler, and I don’t want to be either. I’m either gonna move back to Ponyville to try and patch things up with my friends there, or I’ll let Spike handle the library in Ponyville and buy myself a house here in Canterlot, keep in touch with my other group of friends properly this time… or maybe I’ll just do both and move between Canterlot and Ponyville. It’s not that far, even less once I figure out how to use these things.” She spreads her wings and bends them forward slightly to look them over.
I stare at them, giving a wistful and maybe slightly bitter smile. “Yeah… must be great to have everything and not even need it…”
Twilight stares at me for a moment, then suddenly perks up. “Ah, that reminds me. I can’t believe I almost forgot…” She gets up and walks right past me, towards a back door behind the pedestal. Halfway through the door she stops, looking back at me over her shoulder. “Are you coming?”
I blink and get back to my hooves, cautiously following her into the next room. It’s completely empty save for some spell circles laid into the floor and five other unicorn mares each wearing a necklace around their neck and forming a circle.
Twilight takes the last remaining spot, levitating the crown with the Element of Magic onto her head. “I found Starswirl’s journal that you were talking about and made a new spell… several, really, but this one seems the safest for its purpose.”
My eyes widen as I realize what she is talking about and I look around at the necklaces again. “B-but… they’re not the Bearers, right? Are they even going to work?”
Twilight giggles. “They’re the Elements of Harmony, based on the power of friendship. What could be a better symbol of that than spreading that magic and sharing it with more ponies. Trust me, they’ve all shown the virtues of friendship in abundance.”
She looks at each of the other ponies in turn. “Colgate, who always wants everypony to have the brightest smile they can. Lyra, who doesn’t hide anything of herself from anypony, no matter how strange some of her interests may seem. Lemon Hearts, who loves to provide the best for ponies. Twinkleshine, who is always there when you need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. And Moondancer, who made the effort to open herself up to us and managed to forgive me and stand by my side even after I’d failed her.”
I look around again, panicking just a little. “B-but… are you sure this is okay? You’ve heard what I did, how I am. What if Celestia was right? What if I’m really not ready, what if I’ll never be? What if I don't deserve to be?!”
“Then that’s a problem we will handle if it comes up.” She giggles. "Besides, if you really go mad from power I'm pretty sure we can handle one more deranged alicorn. All in a day's work for Doctor Princess Queen Twilight Sparkle."
The necklaces and crown start to glow and flash as their Bearers are lifted up into the air. Twilight looks at me with white glowing eyes full of power and smirks, saying the last words I’ll hear in this life.
“Anyway, I’m basically gonna need you to die now.”
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Dang it, I wanted to see the main 6 reaction. All in all though, it was still a good fic. So now we have a secondary six, as well as a new alicorn, and a alicorn on the way. Oh, and the changlings. I don't think Equestria is going to be having any problems any time soon.
What about Celestia and Luna?
Excuse me, what about celestia and the others.
8028682
Part of the reason I didn't show that part is that I honestly didn't and still don't know how to write it. No matter how I'd resolve it part of the readers and part of me wouldn't be satisfied with it. The whole mind control angle wouldn't make it easier. This way it's up to the reader to fill in the gaps with reconciliation, righteous comeuppance (either direction) or anything else they'd want to he see.
8028715
8028701
I knew I forgot something. Pretty much the same answer I gave for the Mane Six though... the situation has been resolved, but how exactly is up to the reader. I might try to edit in a satisfying explanation tomorrow, but this isn't really the kind of story that would benefit from bringing in more politics.
I actually really enjoyed this, and I didn't think I would. It contained many twists and alternate scenarios that I've never seen before, that I was honestly interested in a story for the first time in about a month.
8028726
Screw Poltics, i wanted tos ee Twilight put Celestia in her place, Twilight Ascended and made Chryalis a great allie, and done far more good then Celestia has ina few thousand years with out her usual meddling as well andhelp change Sunset for the better again fixing her fubar mistakes.
8028726 I see, one question, has the real bride Cadance learn that twilight was betrayed by friends, her brother and her mentor?.
Hmm...
This was good. Wonderfully inventive at points, especially once the seventh member of the group got involved. But the timeframe seems a bit slippery, I'm not clear on why Chrysalis would be under Canterlot at any point during the invasion, and I'm not thrilled with how everyone who isn't a member of Twilight's Terrors (1st Canterlot Highly Irregulars) gets the shaft at the end. Especially the actual Cadence.
The ending does need some more tightening, as you've left some plot threads dangling that you really should attend to. Still, overall, this was a very enjoyable story. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
8029675
Yeah, I'm not completely happy with the end either. That said, I still haven't been able to figure out a good resolution to all the "background" characters in this story... and honestly, when I wrote the epilogue I was at that point where I just wanted to get this story out before I spend another week and 5.000 words tying up loose ends people might not even care about.
I'll probably do some edits on the last chapter (hopefully before the actual judging), but until I get the sudden epiphany on just how to do that I'll just focus on my other writing.
I'm glad you enjoyed it though. And I'm also kind of glad that I managed to write five and a half chapters to be proud of before I had to dump the whole leftover mess at the end.
(I think as far as Cadence is concerned she's actually legally married to Shining unless somepony can proof that it wasn't her at the wedding. So that's another can of worms for both me and the characters.
)
8028826
D'awww, thank you. Hearing stuff like that means a lot to me.
If you like villains, princesses and alternate scenarios, I'm gonna try writing another short story before the contest is over, that one based on the last AU from the Season Five finale.
I got to the end of this and couldn't believe that it was already done. I would like to see more of this.
Very good !
Well that makes a lot of sense for the changelings. I found this fic leaving me with a lot of questions unanswered. Other than that, good job
8031918 8031972
Thank you. And yes, I got that a lot, mostly for questions I knew I'd left open but just didn't have a clue how to answer within the flow of the chapter.
But no more. If you read the last chapter again, you'll find that
the wall of text is even longerat least the general questions about what happened to the story's "background" ponies are answered now.Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Where do I begin...
With both celestial mechanics in stasis, who was operating the sun and moon? Especially during the time when Twilight was either passed out or burnt out.
Because they're totally never going to try to visit Twilight, apologize, or mend the rift between friends whose bonds were so strong they thwarted gods. And Pinkie Pie obviously never tried to throw any kind of apology party. Ever.
For example? And if Celestia really was slipping, why only the last few decades? After nine hundred-plus years of exemplary diligence, what new trick slipped by the old dog?
Given how Celestia was likely silently grooming Cadence to rule the Crystal Empire—perfectly in line with her usual style, especially in this story—I find that hard to believe.
Yes, how dare he get mind controlled. The nerve.
Sorry, but the more you put into this chapter, the more it hurts the story overall. There were always unfortunate overtones of "wedding fixfic" to this, but these elaborations really hurt matters. It's one thing to build up minor characters in novel ways, but you shouldn't tear down others to make the pedestals. Denying them a chance to defend themselves in-story makes the issue all the more glaring.
Honestly, I think the story would be better served if you cut this chapter entirely. As much as I like seeing Sunset ascend, it's not worth the price you pay. Ending it on "Acceptance" would leave some ambiguity, but it would be more "intriguing sequel hook" ambiguity than the "did the author forget these characters?" ambiguity that was present here prior to the expansion. Very important distinction.
8032086
Duly noted. I don't want to cut this chapter entirely, but I might just cut out Twilight's monologue and only leave the part that actually relates to Sunset.
Though to be fair, they never did apologize to Twilight in the show. And it's pretty much the premise of a whole genre of stories that they don't, as well as in other episodes. All of them do seem to have a tendency to move on from and forget anything that doesn't relate to the friendship lesson learned.
8032164 At least Cadance find out that Twilight was betrayed.
8032086
Oh dear. Now I'm scared to read it because I despise that sort of Canterlot Wedding fixfic, to the point where I often wish the Changeling would win just to shut Twilight up.
8032164
Didn't Applejack apologise to Twilight?
8032164
To be fair, they never had an opportunity to apologize to Twilight in the show. By the time everypony realized Twilight was right, they were rather busy fighting for their lives. Presumably any and all apologies occurred in the timeskip between the changelings' expulsion and the second wedding.
8033869
Not at all my intention. This really is a clever and enjoyable story; it just has its flaws, as does every story. Also, you really shouldn't read comments before reading the story itself. You're practically guaranteed to spoil yourself.
8033907
I usually don't mind spoilers. Better than to read something you end up hating.
Which didn't happen with this story here. It was a nice change to have Twilight not become the petty- grudge-obsessed whiner so many other stories make her. It would make more sense for her to start blaming herself; and what this story kept remembered that many don't is that Twilight herself had been fooled by Chrysalis' act before she openly attacked her.
You know, something I never really got with CW-fixfics is this argument that Twilight's friends 'abandoned' her. At least not how it's usually presented. True, they chose to comfort Cadance over staying with Twilight at that moment, but when you read some of the stories, it's like they yelled in her face that their friendship is over forever. That's... just not what happened.
8034139
It's usually presented too simplistic in those stories, but I do think they messed up pretty bad, which I also put in this story in the first chapter. Even if it looked like Twilight was in the wrong, they should all know that she wasn't the most mentally stable and the Cadence might not be the only one in need of comfort. And even disregarding that, they did exactly what they promised never again to do in Lesson Zero, the episode that might be even more the intro episode to season two than Return Of Harmony was. And breaking a promise like that is the fastest way to lose a friend foreeeeeever.
That said, I'm making it pretty clear in the story that Twilight isn't the best friend herself, what with having done mistakes of a similar gravity, so she really can't keep a grudge for what happened at the rehearsal. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, since it means I probably did well enough on balancing those two things, not making it an overbearing Accusation Fic against one side or the other.
Really, if you write a certain kind of story (and I was deliberately going for an Accusation Fic) then someone saying "I usually don't like these kind of stories, but..." is one of the highest praises you can get.
8034557
That's another thing. Almost every story runs with the idea that Twilight's friends broke their promise not to belittle her concerns so quickly anymore—and they didn't. They sat down with her to talk things through. They didn't laugh in her face like last time. Twilight's entire reasoning for cancelling the wedding was Not-Cadance being rude.
They're not blameless in what happened, not at all, but every time I look back at the episode, I find myself siding more with her friends than with Twilight.
I'm happy your story allowed the characters to not engage in the miserable death-spiral of one-sided grudges so many others deal with.
Awesome story, loved reading it.
Sorry, but I didn't like this story and that's a shame because I have better expectations of fanfics trying to tear "A Canterlot Wedding" a new one. I wasn't able to follow the plot at all and the first-person point of view didn't help. So on the whole, this story could have been written better.
ok read it and loved it. keep up the good work. ^_^
P.S. any chance of more? :P
So, for various reasons, decided to go review a bunch of fics submitted for this event, including this one. Enjoy.
8062050
So you don't like Accusation Fics, you don't like stories changing the events of the show and you don't like alternate canon... why in the world would you even try to review a story like that, then?
8062783 AU is fine, changing events, depends on the reason, some 'What if?" type thing to see how events might have played out differently if something had gone different, those can be fun. Accusation/Fix Fic......
. Just long spiels about how much this or that sucked and my version is better... no thanks.
As to why review it, the explanation was right at the top, it was part of the Imposing Sovereigns event, and I'm reviewing all of those fics. If it wasn't for that, then yeah would have just skipped over this one.
8063400
You are in for a doozy then, choosing that contest. Good luck getting through that.
8064112 Thanks, should be rather fun, and again as much as I really disliked the premise of the story and all the Accusation Fic stuff, the writing was rather good and did really enjoy the characters interacting and just being fun for the most part.
*Clap, clap, clap* I loved this story!
8098499
D'awww, thank you.
Okay that ending is just PRICELESS!! <3
My only complaint is that there's not MOAR!! T_T
8151985
Heheheh, thank you.
There might not be more of this story, but I definitely have more stories of this ilk. Including another story with (kinda) alicorn Shimmer.
8152039 dooooo itttttt <3
8153169
I probably won't, mostly because I'm really not good at actual fashion (and also because I have no idea how I'd bring in the Raritwi shipping for Mono's contest).
I did however offer the idea to someone else and wrote a possible ending for them, if you would like to read that. I believe it is the only plausible and indeed possible non-violent solution to this mess... for and given value of "solution".
8153184 Sounds like fun, do you have a link?
as great as this is, the switch from twiligths win to sunsets acenstion seems quite jarring, you need to work on the between events, did twiligth forgive them? why in the name of all thats good did she forgive them? did she at least spend ten to fifteen minutes wiping celestias nose in ehr mistake? important questions.
Not to nitpick but shouldn't Sunset's magic aura be teal and not orange? Magic colour is the same as eye colour.
I rather enjoyed this story but the utter lack of resolution had me wondering if an entire chapter was missing.
8411520
ok i actually do have some ideas to continue if not this story than this au you made. but after a quick read i should probaly clean it up first so al do that but honestly i think theres alot you could do here.
8151985
agreed. This was a great alternate and i loved it...Also,get Colgate some real drills oneday,that was hilarious.
8573692
But if she waits, then it's all ready to late.
All the rest could do is wait to die, wait to live.
8573446
Arguing with someone and then walking away from is, indeed, not the same as disowning them, so yes you were wrong for years.
Disowning someone is declaring that you have put an end to your relationship with them entirely. They are no longer your friend, student, family member, whatever. Which is not something anyone said to Twilight. Or even implied. Anything less is not disowning them, the same way that punching someone is not murdering them.
I really like, e this just wonder what happened with the other main 6 and princesses
8152043
Gotta agree. The ending was priceless and I wish there were more. But I can understand leaving it here (for now). A few loose ends aren't a bad thing.
Well played, Twilight, well played.
I really want to see the reactions of the Elements, S. Armor, and the Princesses over the course of the story. Like when they learn that Twilight was right or that she won and became an Alicorn.
'anyway, im basically going to need you to die now'
lol.. touche sparkle.. touche
This is win. The only thing I'd have liked to have seen was some reaction from the Mane 5 and other princesses, but I can understand why you skipped it for keeping the pace up.