Rainbow Dash swooped back into Rosy’s house shouting, “I can’t find her anywh—oh. Uh.”
Rainbow Dash found everypony gathered around the fallen Fluttershy. Rarity looked like she was crying, Pinkie Pie looked like she had been crying, and Twilight looked like she’d been crying baking soda, but Fluttershy just looked... desolate.
“You have to understand that what Rosy said were all lies,” Twilight pleaded with Fluttershy, as Rainbow Dash softly hovered, listening in, feeling wrong. “She was just saying whatever she could to throw us off balance so she could get away.”
“Were they lies?” Fluttershy asked, loud enough to bring Rainbow Dash to land and walk forward in worry. “Twilight, I... I kissed her. I did kiss her. What’s wrong with me?”
“You only kissed her because she manipulated you into kissing her,” Twilight replied. “She was just trying to use you to get to us. You may have been completely unaware of it.”
“Twilight, I don’t know...” Fluttershy said, trying to hide her face from the princess, in Rarity’s chest as the white unicorn held Fluttershy to her murmuring nothing more than a heartfelt concerned,
“You poor dear...”
“He just told you the things you wanted to hear, and when you fell for it, he made you want to kiss him,” Twilight continued with earnest conviction, “It wasn’t your fault, and there is nothing wrong with you.”
“Oh, I’m glad you care about me so much,” Fluttershy said sadly, “But I just feel so guilty over it!”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty,” Twilight assured her, “Because it’s not true. None of what she said is in any way the truth! You are a—”
“Just shut up, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash snapped in a haggard tone, as everypony turned to look at her. Her mane limp around her laid back ears, Rainbow couldn’t stand this, any of this. The princess looked up at Rainbow Dash, looking all lost and stuff, so Dash said, “Just shut up already, everypony. Let’s just find Rosy, throw her through the portal, and never speak of this again.”
Twilight Sparkle’s luminous violet eyes looked back at Rainbow Dash, hauntingly worried, worryingly haunted. Then Twilight’s eyes popped wide, staring at the polychromatic pegasus, and the princess squealed in shock, “You lost her again?!”
“She disappeared!” Rainbow Dash shouted, swinging her forehooves wide. “She’s not anywhere on the street! I’ve been looking for her for a bunch of minutes! What’ve you been doing?”
A beat, and Dash’s rage cooling, she added apologetically, “Okay yeah, comforting Fluttershy that’s fine. But I still can’t find Rosy. It’s like she just vanished!”
“She probably is just hiding somewhere out of sight,” Twilight grumbled, “We need to check all the public places in town, like restaurants and hotels, and government buildings.”
“On it,” Dash said, zooming off again.
“What about ponies’ houses?” Pinkie Pie asked, hugging the opposite side of Fluttershy from Rarity.
“If she broke into somepony’s house, we’ll know about it soon enough,” Twilight said with a practical smile, “We need to ask ponies if they’ve seen her. Put out wanted posters, if need be.”
“And if she leaves town?” Rarity asked.
“We’ll get the whole Ponyville P.D. to block off the roads if necessary!” Twilight shouted in frustration, “We are not letting this mare—this stallion get out of his responsibilities!”
“What about her friends?” Pinkie asked, in the singlemost biggest mistake she’d ever made, “They might be hiding her in their houses!”
“You’re... right, Pinkie,” Twilight said in worried realization, her puffy reddened eyes widening, “We have to find every pony that Bruce may have deceived. They could be sheltering him, not knowing what a twisted creature he is!”
Rarity went to go warn the police. That left Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie to canvas Rosy’s house for clues to her location. Twilight found a very ordinary living room, with a small shelf that had foal level reading material in it... it seemed Bruce’s perversion regarding young human fillies even extended to Equestrian foals! Fluttershy found a rather dirty kitchen, that had unwashed dishes piled up in the sink, washed ones in the dish drainer, all cheap stiff polymer of course. There was a hay cupboard full of hay, a regular cupboard full of dried goods, some odd items like granite dust and bone meal, and a refrigerator that was keeping several fruits and vegetables cool, none of them an apple.
“Twilight, what’s this...?” Pinkie Pie said warily, backing slowly out of Bruce’s bedroom.
“You found something?” Twilight said in elation, and then in dread, “Oh no, be careful Pinkie! There could be no end to the debauchery you might find in his bedroom!”
“It’s not debauchery. It’s a... critter?” Pinkie reported in puzzlement, “But it’s hard to see because it’s really bright, and also hissing at me.”
Twilight poked her head in around Pinkie’s patootie and saw... some sort of creature? It was glowing brightly, like a miniature sun. What she could see of it looked like fur made out of solid light, puffed out each and every way. And it appeared to be standing in the entrance to an elaborate cage with a bunch of extensions on the wall, with tubes connecting them, hissing at them in a steady quiet rasp.
“Um... Fluttershy?” Twilight said over her shoulder, “Could you come take a look at this?”
Bruce’s bedroom was in fact rather spartan. Besides the cage, there was a soft looking bed, several pictures on the wall of various ponies, possibly Bruce’s next targets, and a small dresser, on which was a history book for foals, left open to what looked like a story from the century B, which would be the tail end of the reunification.
Which meant... Bruce was... studying their history for weaknesses?
Fluttershy crept in, and both ponies looked at her with anticipation. Her ears were down, her tail was low, and she remained relatively unresponsive as usual. She took an uneasy look at the room, then the cage, and then Fluttershy’s ears perked right up, her eyes widened, and she exclaimed in surprise,
“Is that a flarret?”
Fluttershy got the poor thing calmed down and would ultimately take her, and her litter, into Fluttershy’s critter care. It was a rare beast apparently, a remnant of the herd of shadows who had been prominent throughout the early part of the current era. Said to be able to banish even the darkest shadows with its pure light, the creature seemed to feed on darkness, and could keep a room very pleasantly lit. The only question Twilight had was what was Rosy Pink doing with a noctavore? It was certainly more expensive and troublesome to care for than glowflies!
Meanwhile, out on the streets of Ponyville, Applejack was trotting through town, seriously wondering about herself, and her friends. She saw Rarity running by with several strapping police officers, no doubt to do something about Rosy’s escape. Applejack couldn’t find Rosy, and in fact she couldn’t even find it in herself to try. There was something... wrong about this. Was it that such a nice mare could be some perverted stallion? Applejack couldn’t have lived with herself, if he’d done anything to Apple Bloom. But he didn’t, so... what was wrong? Was Twilight wrong? She sure seemed wrong, but Twilight’d never claim a mare was a stallion in disguise, without being pretty darn sure of it. Was it Fluttershy? Why had she been so hurt by Rosy’s lies?
“Any luck?” came the hopeful voice of Twilight Sparkle, the purple princess trotting up to Applejack as the farm pony uncertainly stalked the streets.
“Eeehnope,” Applejack replied without enthusiasm, “Rainbow Dash cain’t find her?”
“We think that she—he may have tricked one of the ponies in Ponyville into sheltering him,” Twilight said. “Do you know of any friends, Bruce might have had?”
“Me,” Applejack wanted to say. Instead, she admitted, leerily, “He... worked with a pony named Vanilla Sweets last year. Ah dunno if’n they were friends, but they seemed to get along together.”
“It’s a start, at least,” Twilight grumbled. “Maybe we can find more information from the ponies who supposedly befriended him.”
Vanilla Sweets was a dud, it turns out. She wasn’t even home, probably out on vacation this time of year, possibly even stallon seeking. The leaves were green and so was the fruit, so Vanilla wouldn’t be around Ponyville until cider season. Bubblegum Blossom was home, but she wasn’t out stallion seeking for a very good reason. Twilight didn’t seem too intent on searching her house, especially seeing as Bubblegum stank of—well, suffice to say she was out of breath and flush faced, from whatever she’d been doing in her house, and Applejack doubted it was spring cleaning.
The Bearers were together again in their search. With their regalia on all official-like, they must have cut a pretty intimidating jib. “Bubblegum’s obviously not harboring anypony,” Twilight grumbled, “I think I know who we should have started with though.”
“Who?” Pinkie Pie asked curiously.
“When Rosy erm... vanished the first time,” Twilight postulated, holding up one hoof to say, “I seem to recall one pony was pretty upset about that. I think it’s time we paid a visit to the pony known as Bluebell.”
They arrived at the small cottage in the western outskirts, and the first sign of trouble was that the foal upon seeing them rushed inside the house. That wasn’t unexpected, as they were all together as a herd and they were all pretty fluffing peeved right now, but it was definitely a warning flag.
Knocking on the door, it was answered by a straw-haired, blueberry furred pegasus, whom Twilight had seen once before. “Bluebell?” Twilight asked politely.
“Yes?” Bluebell said, looking at them with nervously narrowed irises of a surprisingly deep hazel green, not moving out of the doorway, “Can I help you?”
“We’re here because of Rosy Pink,” Twilight said with an anxiously polite tone, “You may have noticed she didn’t return home when she should have, and you thought she was going to be your friend. Well she’s in a lot of trouble now, and we’re looking for anypony who Rosy may have tricked into trusting.”
“I haven’t seen her,” Bluebell said with a sideways look at the princess, not inviting her in, or anything. Not that she had to. Twilight wasn’t her friend or anything, and Twilight was grateful for ponies who didn’t give her special princess privileges in that regard. Nothing suspicious so far.
“Well, I’m sorry but I have some bad news,” Twilight said sadly, trying to think of what other friend Rosy might have had, “You have to let us know where Rosy is as soon as you see her. You may think she’s your friend, but she’s been lying to you this whole time, and using her status as a mare to get you to trust her. Rosy’s is actually a male—”
“I’m here!” Rosy shouted desperately.
“Rosy, no!” Bluebell said in horror, looking back as the pink haired, cream colored pony walked out from around the corner, then scowled at the Bearers.
“Come and get me!” Rosy shouted with a challenging glare, turning tail and running back into the other room, as a half dozen ponies fought to get through a single doorway all at the same time. Twilight lit up her horn and winked, blindly knocking over a chair and a table as she reappeared in the other room, where Rosy was already climbing out the window.
“Gotcha!” Twilight said triumphantly, her magic snagging Rosy’s tail. Suddenly she got a faceful of lemon yellow feathers as a foal flew at her face, blocking her vision and attempting to beat up her eyes. Ow! Twilight’s magic swept the blue haired filly off of her face, but Rosy had already escaped without a trace. Twilight glared at the foal, who glared back with unrepentant eyes that matched her hair.
“Got ‘er!” Applejack called from outside the window.
“No!” the filly squeaked, wide eyed and twisting around. She fell harmlessly to the floor as Twilight released her magic on the filly, in order to directly wink outside. There, Twilight found Rosy bound with some sturdy rope, and the orange cowpony standing over her with a forehoof on Rosy’s side.
“I’ll go with you,” Rosy said tensely to Twilight, “Willingly, no tricks, just please don’t tell Bluebell.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Twilight said, levitating Rosy up by her restraints, and trotting off with Rosy floating behind her.
Her other friends joined her, and they would have left Bluebell well enough alone, but her foal that... green and yellow filly, she came running after Twilight and her friends shouting, “Give her back!”
Bluebell swooped in and grabbed her foal, pulling the filly away from them, but the filly then started screaming and crying at the top of her lungs. Twilight turned in exasperation and shouted, “This isn’t what it looks like! Rosy’s been using you!” but the foal was too busy throwing a fit to even listen. “Ugh!” Twilight declared, turning and trotting hastily away from the mother and child. Foals were so hard to deal with, because they just couldn’t listen to reason!
“Okay, seriously,” Rainbow Dash said, fluttering down to Twilight’s level, “Now we’re making foals cry?”
With an unhappy whimper, Twilight said, “I’ll talk to her about it later. She’ll understand. For now, we have to get Bruce through the portal, before he pulls some other trick on us.”
“This doesn’t feel good,” Pinkie Pie complained, her mane drooping in her somber mood.
“Best we be quick about it then,” Rarity said, “And then as Rainbow Dash so eloquently put it, ‘never speak of this again.’”
“Why’d you do it, Rosy?” Applejack asked the floating pony, “Why’d ya lead us all along so much, thinkin’ you weren’t a stallion?”
“If I tell you, then will you let me go?” Rosy asked in frustration, double bound with magic and sturdy rope that Applejack had tied herself. It’d be so easy for Applejack to just... undo that knot.
Applejack sighed, and looked away. “Fuck you then,” Rosy said quietly, “Fuck you, and fuck off.”
If Rosy’s words were a manner of speaking, it was an awfully odd one, because Applejack had no idea what she was saying.
“Okay, clear the way, open the containment chamber, Traveller coming through, show’s over everypony!” Twilight shouted as they trotted into the research complex that’d sprung up again around the crater. The Trotwood ponies groaned, and some even resorted to catcalls, but the Bearers reached the containment chamber without anypony getting in their way. Applejack and Rarity managed to remove the chamber with little issue. (It was much easier to remove than it was to put in place.)
Twilight’s magic flickered dangerously in the uncertain environment at the epicenter, but she wasn’t your average unicorn, and she accounted for the fluctuations, continuing to levitate Rosy Pink in the air. It would be Bad with a capital B if Twilight tried to use the levitation on something contacting the portal’s hypersurface though, so she and her oneun friends formed a tight horseshoe with the rift on one side, and Twilight gently levitated Rosy down in front of it.
Rosy lay there in front of the rift as it bloomed and portalified in response to her presence, looking up at Twilight with a dumbly confused expression on her snout.
“...you need to remove the ropes, Applejack,” Twilight said uneasily. “We can’t have Equestrian matter travelling with her.”
“W–wh—I’m Equestrian matter!” Rosy spouted out in her soft soprano, “I’ve eaten my weight in food since then, so every atom in me is from Equestria!”
“It’s about returning to your world what came from it,” Twilight told Rosy frankly, “The portal only cares that the balance is restored. A mare for a mare, so to speak.”
“Can’t some other mare go over then?” Rosy said bitterly.
“That you would even suggest that makes us justified in sending you through,” Twilight replied cooly. “Anyway it’d just bind things up even more. It’s not some sort of sacrificial altar. The portal calls to you, the stallion masquerading as a mare.”
Rosy didn’t answer that, and remained silently thoughtful, staring at the portal as Applejack undid her bonds, and allowed Rosy to stand again.
“There’s nowhere to go,” Twilight reminded the mare, “There’s nothing left for you here, so you might as well just go through. The next chapter in your life is through that portal,”
Rosy responded to that by turning away from the portal, and facing Twilight Sparkle, who stood at the center of the horseshoe. Behind Rosy, the portal to the apartment remained wavering serenely in the air. There was no more police tape around the area, and the couch had been removed for some sort of machine instead. Rosy herself had an icy look in her deep blue eyes, and she said, “What if I refuse? You just gonna stand there forever?” She snorted and lashed her tail saying, “What are you gonna do, push me through?”
“You know what?” Twilight said, blushing angrily at Rosy’s annoyingly recalcitrant tail flip. A tail that should have been in the portal! “I think I just might do that!”
She strode up nose to nose with Rosy, telling her seethingly, “You have been nothing but a bad influence on Equestria ever since you came here. You are in the wrong world, and you are messing up the balance and harmony of our own. Everything you’ve done, even if...”
Her eyes softened a bit at the fear in Rosy’s eyes, and Twilight settled back, saying, “Even if you had the best of intentions, you are not like us. What you thought was an innocent act could have traumatized, distorted, or changed things away from the way they’re supposed to be. Ponies could die, because you wouldn’t leave. Equestria could be permanently scarred, if this rift ever goes wild.”
Rosy looked at Twilight with scared eyes reddened with tears, and said sadly, “I... I just wanted to stay here. Your world is a paradise compared to my own!”
“I think that’s the next lesson you have to learn,” Twilight said with a wry grin, “Your world may be a better place than you think, if you’ll just give it a chance.”
“You’re...” Rosy glanced back at the portal, then hung her head. “You’re right, Twilight...” she said softly, “I don’t know why I never listened to you. This is just something I have to face. A new chapter in my life.
“I acted so horribly to you, to all of you,” Rosy said sorrowfully to the ponies around her, “All this time, I needed to stop being so selfish, and trust in your judgement. I think I’ve finally learned an important lesson about trusting in others.” Rosy actually learned a lesson from this? That could make it worth all the trouble! Twilight felt hope rise in her as she finally knew she was doing the right thing.
“The truth is, I deeply respect every one of you,” Rosy said, looking from pony to pony, “And I wish I could have been a better friend. It’s gonna be hard saying goodbye but...” she lifted a hoof, reaching so tentatively, so hesitantly for Twilight’s shoulder.
Twilight swept Rosy up into a gentle hug. Rosy’s own forelimbs uncertainly, fearfully, then tightly joined in Twilight’s embrace, wrapping earnestly around the princess’s back. “I’m gonna miss you...” Rosy whispered hoarsely into Twilight’s shoulder, falling into their warm hug. Twilight hugged Rosy back for a timeless moment, but at last Twilight relaxed her hold, and let the other pony free, because it was finally time for Rosy to return home.
Then Rosy suplexed the princess into the portal.
Somewhere in Canterlot, in a room full of scribbled upon paintings, dismantled clocks, dissheveled, torn-up clothing, and pony chess pieces glued together in creative ways, a crack appeared in a very familiar statue. There were no doors in or out of this room, only a tiny window to the west. It was far too small for a pony to squeeze through, and also had an anti-chipmunk ward, just in case.
A thousand years is a very long time, in which you could forgive and forget just about anything. It’s a period of time in which you might conclude that your foe has been defeated, and will never awaken. A thousand years is a long time to keep your guard up, and even the staunchest defender’s resolve will waver and flicker out like a dying candle.
In this case, the period of time was more like a bunch of years, so the moment the statue cracked, the Day Princess immediately vanished from her courtly duties in a flare of solar light, appearing again in this room as EVERY SINGLE WARDED ALARM went off. With severe concern, Princess Celestia levitated all the left socks off of Discord’s stone prison, to look at it more clearly. “Oh no,” she whispered, staring balefully at the crack, then casting her gaze to the western window.
“Twilight, what did you do?”
Chaos. Utter chaos. The portal looked like a doorway into another world, but it was a far more complex affair, a spell of primal magnitude and inconceivable intricacy. Upon striking its surface, it distorted like a soap bubble as Twilight fell splay winged into the other world. Then it removed everything that made her a pony, slowly and painfully. Her head cracked on the machine they’d seen on the other side of the portal, her vision swimming even as the distorted portal interface latched onto her and invaded every fiber of her being. Twilight screamed, and everypony in the clearing panicked at once.
Completely ignoring this, Rosy broke through the line in the gap Twilight made, galloping swiftly away from the portal, so unstable now it was resounding with a deep bass rumble shaking the ground and the trees. The lilac princess started screaming in pain and fear, and the Bearers remained helpless to chase Rosy, because their friend was in trouble! All the science ponies were galloping around calling out in alarm, but no one else in the clearing moved to stop her, so once again, Rosy vanished into the forest.
The princess was looking around wild-eyed in utter panic as the portal was suddenly surrounded by tall, lanky creatures in simple but very skillfully sewn clothing. They were all very closely resembling ponies at the moment, for how wide their eyes were getting. Twilight couldn’t think, couldn’t move, couldn’t tell which way was up. It was like ants were crawling in her bones as everything twisted and distorted beyond all recognition, and the humans weren’t helping her at all!
And then, the humans could do nothing to help Twilight, because on the other side, powerful waves of spatial distortion were silently straining molecular bonds outside the portal, pushing everything away from the entry site violently and absolutely, which sort of made the walls and ceiling collapse around her. As Twilight’s hoof extruded agonizingly slowly through the interface, slim, brown digits began to emerge. A falling ceiling beam then glanced off the head of the already incoherent Twilight, without bursting the bubble, making her screams die off to a worrying silence.
That’s when Rainbow Dash jumped in the portal.
“Oh no nonoAAAA” was her immediate response as her wings cracked at unfamiliar angles and she landed on Twilight, grabbing her tightly, spasmodically, giving strained cries of distress as something messed with her like stabbing her with a long, sharp concept, and turning all her cells inside out. Rainbow Dash felt herself start to unfold.
That’s when Applejack pulled them both back through the portal, into Equestria. There was an audible thunderclap as it slammed closed this time. “You did it, Rainbow!” Applejack cheered gladly, “We saved her! Thank heaven an’ earth for a good strong length of woah nellie!” the farm pony stopped talking and stared, as the Rift wavered, wobbled and then started to move.
Applejack bit her rope, and yanked the pony harnessed to it—Rainbow Dash—up into the air. Rainbow Dash went sailing away from the shuddering meandering hole in reality, and with her death grip on the princess, Twilight was also spared any further contact with the thing, as the limp body of something resembling Twilight Sparkle flew along with the gasping pegasus.
“You okay, Rainbow?” Applejack asked, anxiously dancing on her hooves at the fallen pile of ponies that was her two friends, “We gotta move!”
“Ugh... my wrong are wings,” Rainbow Dash groaned half consciously.
Rarity’s horn was lit up as she tried to do something about this ghastly wrongness all around, but she could hardly even keep her horn lit with the blasted wild magic fluctuations everywhere. Fortunately, the Bearers did not dismiss the Trotwood team this time, so there were a dozen more unicorns instantly by Rarity’s side. Few were stronger or more effective than her, but many were smarter and more well studied. Methodically, they began unwinding and smoothing the floating distortions in space.
“It’s not going after us now!” Applejack said in alarm, looking at the reddish pulsating dot the portal had become, that was still carving a swath of distortion through the ground and equipment as it edged forward, moving steadily away from the three of them, towards the edge of the clearing.
“The Traveller!” one of the science ponies shouted in alarm, “It’s going after her!”
“Stand back!” another one shouted, with a silvery shell on her back, “We’re gonna try something stupid!”
With a clang, the one—no, two earth ponies leaped in perfect harmony, joining both sides of the containment unit around the still moving rift. Two more bucked, slamming their hooves into it to seal it shut, and some hovering pegasi started jamming peculiar looking shiny metal rods against it, hard enough to smash the tips of the rods blunt against the silver surface.
The unicorns surrounded it then, and all that nasty unnatural stretching-yet-not-stretching in the surrounding area started to fade away. The rods were shifted into structural supports, like the sort of podium that thing was supposed to be resting on, but a lot more slapdash and improvised. It wasn’t moving anymore at least, and it looked like the crisis passed.
Applejack looked down at Twilight, who was unmoving, and Rainbow Dash, who was at least able to climb to her hooves.
“D-doesn’t murt as such in reverse,” Rainbow said, standing on four shaky hooves as her wings flailed, and her body sort of cracked into something that looked like it ought to be standing on four hooves. Twilight was still unconscious, but her body was moving too. Those fleshy... things receded back into her slim purple hoof, and her legs were in the process of pulling themselves around into a natural, less broken looking configuration.
“We need a doctor!” exclaimed a horrified Pinkie Pie, unable to look away as Twilight’s bones shifted under her own flesh, “Is there a doctor anywhere?!”
Before any of the professors could get smart, Applejack stood by Pinkie and shouted, “An’ she means a physician!”
Several ponies closed their mouths and looked rather embrarassed. There was a white coated nurse pony on site it turns out, and she rushed up to the princess, before stopping short and asking, “What’s wrong with her?”
“How are we supposed to know?” Pinkie whined, “She just started turning into a human, I guess?”
“A wild polymorph? Oh dear,” the nurse said fretfully, lifting open Twilight’s eyelid, and putting an ear up to listen to her heartbeat. She jerked back as Twilight’s body shifted about weirdly again, saying, “I–I can’t treat this here! She needs a hospital!”
“Help is on the way,” a certain blurple haired white unicorn said, stumbling unsteadily up to the nurse. “A friend of mine went to contact the hospital. She will fly with utmost speed.”
“Okay just...help me get her on her... side,” the nurse replied, unsure of exactly what would count as this “pony’s” side. She wasn’t unreasonable for thinking so.
Some time later, everypony’s condition was stable. Twilight Sparkle had three magic shunts to try and correct her imbalanced flow. Laying in a hospital bed, with three tubes extending from beneath her blankets, Twilight at least looked like a pony now, like herself again. She awoke surrounded by her friends, and a few nurses, all looking at her with tremendous relief.
“Oh, Twilight you’re okay!” Pinkie exclaimed, firmly held back by said nurses from glomping her friend in a full body hug.
“Twi, that Rosy ain’t no darn good,” Applejack said, stomping in angry frustration, “She messed you up pretty fierce, an’ escaped in the chaos! To think that she’d hurt you like that, after sayin’ all those sweet words...”
“We just need to calm down, and think about the situation,” Fluttershy suggested. “I know we’ll be able to get through this.”
“But how are you feeling, dear?” Rarity asked Twilight, “Do you recall any of what occurred?”
Twilight looked around at her friends in total bewilderment and said, “Sparl also divisiparent powler simple the enlarge modo tailor checktact?” in a quick, but kind of worryingly slurred voice.
“I told you it sessed up my meech!” Rainbow Dash shouted in aggravation at the rest of them.
(thwack)
“Ow!”
“Princess Twilight Sparkle? Can you understand me?”
“Oh thank goodness it worked,” Twilight said, sagging in relief in her hospital bed as the nonsense everypony was babbling finally started to make sense, “What on earth did that portal do to me?”
The pale coated doctor also smiled in relief. She was the only other pony in the room now. “Your language centers have been heavily disrupted, your highness,” she explained, “It must have been in the process of enabling you to speak with the humans, when Rainbow Dash er... pulled you out of it. Or it out of you, rather. I’m not an expert in the field of Linguistics, but I’m told it was like a very delicate surgery, and during its first incision, your friend smacked the scalpel out of the metaphorical doctor’s grip, and absconded with the surgery cart.”
Twilight stared in horrified disbelief as the doctor shook her raspberry maned head, saying, “Personally, I think they were seriously exaggerating, but the fact remains that your language got a bit... scrambled. Pulling you out of it actually complicated matters, especially when Equestria’s ambient magic field started restoring you—crudely—back into shape. I imagine that bump on the head didn’t help either.”
“So... what?” Twilight asked in horror, “Am I going to need a translation spell for my entire life?”
“Goodness, no!” the doctor laughed, “I only meant that matters of the mind are more delicate and difficult to treat than physical injury, so it’ll be a while before you’re back in tip-top shape again. You can think of the translation spell as your crutch, so to speak. You’ll be receiving regular language therapy from a specialist, and if you stick with that I can assure you you’ll be speaking normally once more.”
“How long?” Twilight asked testily.
“...weeks?” the doctor said weakly, “Months, perhaps? Your injury is somewhat unprecedented, but I can’t imagine it taking more than a year, if you stick with your therapy regime.”
“Okay, I can... I can deal with that,” Twilight said calmly, “How often do I have to cast the spell?”
The doctor frowned at that, losing eye contact and saying, “I’m afraid... somepony else needs to refresh the spell. It draws from their own language centers, you see, to correct yours. But your er... language therapist has agreed to live with you, if that isn’t a problem, so she should be able to oversee your treatment 24/7.”
“Really?” Twilight said in surprise, “A dedicated therapist? Is it... is it because I’m a princess?”
“In a sense...” the doctor said noncommitally, “It might be best if I just introduced her. She’s waiting outside.”
The doctor walked off without another word, and returned with a familiar blue unicorn with wavey purple hair, who Twilight immediately recognized.
“Whatnot?!” Twilight exclaimed in surprise.
“Oh, you remember my name!” the blue unicorn said in her sweet alto, with a beaming smile, “You even—”
She cut off, turning to the doctor and asking worriedly, “Wait, did you cast the spell yet?”
“Yes I remember your name,” Twilight said deliberately to Whatnot, “You were instrumental in helping me learn more about Bruce’s home.”
“It’s... it’s an honor, really,” Whatnot said with a blush, “I never thought I’d be able to... I’m so so sorry for what happened to you.”
“You’re sorry?” Twilight asked curiously.
“Yes I know I didn’t... push you through the portal or anything, but I left the project and then this happens, and I can’t help but feel that this is in some way my fault,” the blue unicorn said regretfully, lowering her ears, “I know it’s not, but I just wish I could have been there, and now that I do have the chance to help out,” she perked up again, ears high, exclaiming, “I’d be more than honored to help the greatest and most powerful hero Equestria has ever seen!”
Twilight was starting to remember why she didn’t like Whatnot very much. Beggars cannot be choosers however, and Twilight was pretty sure the mare would mellow out if she actually had some time to get to know Twilight... and to see Twilight screw up, as Twilight generally did... multiple times... in rapid succession.
“I would be honored to have such a kind and caring mare help me out,” Twilight said politely, “Because it looks like I sure do need it.”
Whatnot declared with a squee, “Oh thank you, Princess! I won’t let you down! Now I’m still in an apartment in Canterlot, but I think I can just send word that I’m going to be busy because I already brought all my luggage just in case not that I expected you to say yes but I thought just in case I would...” continuing on like that nonstop, until her speech regressed into literal babble.
“Wait, wait, hold on!” Twilight shouted, making Whatnot jerk back in surprise. “I think you need to recast the spell,” Twilight replied unhappily, knowing they wouldn’t understand her, but figuring that her point would get across.
“Final cause!” Whatnot declared, facehooving, “Ricottage vegium recommend tation goodswallop.”
The shiny purple haired unicorn’s horn lit up then in a bold magenta, and she peered at Twilight Sparkle for a long silent moment before casting the spell.
“...any time now,” Twilight said uneasily.
“Bobby bars,” Whatnot replied offhoovedly, tweaking her horn field very slowly and deliberately, going through all the basic patterns as though she were demonstrating for a foal. Her eyes brightened finally, and her horn flared, sending a deep pink mote directly to Twilight’s forehead. It toudzjerrr ched her horn, and she again felt that odd disorientation, much more subtly this time.
“...did that work?” Whatnot asked hopefully.
A smile broke on Twilight’s face as she nodded happily.
“Oh good,” Whatnot sighed emphatically, “I didn’t want to mess anything up so I made sure to double check the parameter setup when I prepared the geometric schema, and I restabilized at every single stage.”
“Yes, I could see that,” Twilight said cautiously.
“So now your translation spell is extra stable, and should last a day or more!” Whatnot said joyfully.
“That’s not... wait, would that...?” Twilight paused thoughtfully, “You know, I think you might be right? Still you had several missed opportunities to streamline, and redundant inefficiencies. It’s one way to do it, I suppose. If you want a more accurate spellcraft though, I could offer some tips maybe?”
Whatnot’s pupils got very very big at that.
“If—” the doctor said, poking her head in the room, then looking at the blubbering mare senselessly hugging, clinging to Twilight Sparkle in her hospital bed. “Sorry, is this a bad time?” the doctor asked.
Twilight just shrugged helplessly. What had she said to this filly?
“No I’m—” Whatnot pulled herself away, stumbling on her hooves as she stepped back, wiping at tears, “I’m fine I just... the princess is going to teach me!” And she was dancing on her hooves, squealing with glee.
A serious look then crossed her face, as Whatnot said in shock, “I have to get ready!” and ran full tilt out of the room.
The doctor watched her go with utmost puzzlement, then looked to Twilight, saying, “Sorry about that. I’m really not familiar with the translation spell, and it doesn’t fit to my magic very easily at all.”
“I have to admit, I prefer a linguist’s delicate, er,” Twilight rubbed the hoofprint in her forehead, “...touch.”
Clearing her throat, the doctor said, “Sorry again, right so, Princess Celestia is here to see you,” making Twilight tense up in bed, “You have your translation issues taken care of?”
“For now, I hope,” Twilight replied warily. She couldn’t imagine how terrible it would be if she started babbling at the princess!
The doctor nodded, and bowed out. As she left the room, then entered: the sun.
“Hello, Twilight,” Princess Celestia said, ducking under the doorway as the serene white sun princess entered the room, “I’m so sorry to hear what has happened to you. The doctor says you are well enough to speak?”
“You’re sorry?” Twilight repeated in even more bug eyed surprise than before.
“In the sense that I sympathize with your plight,” Celestia replied, settling down to her belly beside Twilight’s hospital bed, “In the sense that you risk yourself for Equestria far too often, and we are all so grateful to have you with us.”
“It really wasn’t that bad,” Twilight said blushingly, “There was just a little mishap with a rift you see and—”
“A mare known as Rosy Pink threw you into the Rift,” Celestia stated quietly, “Because she feared the consequences of doing so herself, yet did not hesitate to inflict it upon you. She has lied to and misled ponies for years, disregarding the safety of Equestria above her own convenience, and used her knowledge of your pasts to hurt each of you in the most cruel of ways.”
Celestia looked aside, saying with a heavy heart, “Even Pinkie Pie.”
Twilight was afraid to say yes. Yes it was all technically true, but it sounded so... awful! Was Rosy—Bruce really so evil beyond compare? Twilight felt like things were spiraling out of proportion, so she said, “We had the—we thought we had the situation under control. She hadn’t attacked anypony, yet. She was just a little... recalcitrant.”
“You are such a wonderful pony, Twilight,” Celestia said sadly, leaning down to nuzzle at the ears of her former student, “You’ll help anypony in need, and you always try your hardest to do the right thing. That makes this so much more painful, to think that she’d do this to somepony with so much good in her heart.”
Twilight felt tears rising to her eyes as all the hatred, and the doubt, and the awful words that Rosy said washed away before the loving touch of her princess. “Princess Celestia,” she said joyfully and miserably, “You may not know this, but Rosy is actually not a mare at all. She was a human stallion named Bruce Connell, who... tried to make everypony think she was a mare.”
The princess was silent at that, standing up straight. “There has been word sent to every city in Equestria,” she said soberly, “My sister and I will do everything we can to help you find Rosy Pink. She may have been able to defeat one loving mare who was only trying to help her, but she may not fare so well against the full might of the Equestrian military. As of today, they are at your beck and call, Princess Twilight.”
Princess Celestia smiled at Twilight, and lay a shining white wing over her prone figure laying there in that hospital bed. “I know you will do the right thing, my most faithful student. Take whatever measures you think you need, but please don’t neglect yourself in this. You don’t always have to put Equestria before your own needs.
“Thank you, princess,” Twilight whispered, pulling Celestia’s wing tight against herself, whispering because she couldn’t speak aloud without crying, “I will, princess.”
They stayed like that for a while, until Twilight had ahold of herself, and finally Celestia took her wing back. She stood beside Twilight, and gave her an apologetic wince saying, “There was one other matter I need to discuss with you. Discord’s seal cracked just the other day. I assume that’s related to...”
Twilight twitched. “What, us? No, we’ve all been fine why do you ask?” she said nervously, “Oh you mean—yes, I did get s-sent through the Rift. He must have tried to escape while my... Element was absent!”
“I need you to bring your friends to Canterlot and reseal his statue,” Princess Celestia said seriously, “That should solve the issue, but he has admittedly escaped once before, and I fear Discord may be a problem we have to deal with sooner than later.” She shook her head regretfully, saying, “You’ve been living a life of Harmony all this time, and not doing anything that might embrace Chaos, yet he still breaks free the moment you fall out of this world? It’s most worrisome.”
Twilight smiled widely saying, “Ha ha ha, yeah no ponies dealing in Chaos here, nothing but pure Harmony from this pony.”
“For the time being, I need you and your friends to restore his seal,” Celestia said, “And then focus on your recovery. Let the guards and police deal with the issue of Rosy Pink for now, and I promise we’ll contact you the moment she’s found.”
“Can do, princess!” Twilight said with a smile.
The moment Celestia was gone, Twilight held her head in her hooves and stared forward, saying in a haunted tone, “She’s going to kill us herself. She’s gonna turn us all into statues. Were we really that bad that it would break him out of his prison? Oh, how did things get so messed up? Bruce is somewhere out there, Starlight is somewhere out there, both completely unopposed. I’m completely helpless, and if my friends hate me any more, Discord will reign supreme over all the land!”
Pinkie Pie was poking her nose in the room then, so Twilight forced herself to take in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Hello Pinkie,” she said in measured pleasance, “As you can see, I’m talking again.”
“Yes!!” Pinkie cheered, hoof pumping then bouncing into the room, “Now we can plan your I learned to talk again party!”
Twilight rolled her eyes, but a small smile danced on the corners of her mouth.
The next week was tumultuous and stressful, and Twilight could swear she heard him laughing when they sealed Discord again using the magic of Harmony. The train ride home from Canterlot was not a pleasant or a friendly one, either.
Applejack kept looking at the others sideways whenever they would talk about something. Rarity never seemed to stop talking, about whatever she could to get anypony engaging with her. She even got in a discussion with Rainbow Dash about the top candidates for the Equestrian wrestling league, and Rarity didn’t even like wrestling, Twilight was pretty sure! Pinkie Pie on the other hand seemed scared to speak at all, barely more responsive than Fluttershy, who kept looking nervously out the window as if there was something terrible that was going to catch up with her. And Rainbow Dash was er... too...
“And then the Masked Crusader did a full nelson on the Dirty Dervish! She couldn’t escape, but she kicked hard enough to flip them both over! It wasn’t a suplex, even though I was just thinking about that, not that I want anypony to think about what happened to Twilight, because that was pretty lame I think. I wouldn’t ever pretend it wasn’t lame, because I only sometimes think about doing stuff that might be kind of mean, at most a 3.5 on the meanness scale. Like that one time when I cut in line once, which was a thing I did I’ll admit it. I wanted to get to recess first, but I pretended I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to cut in line and I’ve never told anypony that, but you know. I just tell ponies about those things, because it’s not like they aren’t true! I was also thinking about these train seats which are kind of uncomfortable, but you don’t have to do anything. I just wanted everypony to know.”
Too... comprehensive.
Twilight ended up exhausted just trying to get everypony over their issues, and not worrying about everything they’d been doing wrong. Everypony went their separate ways upon arriving in Ponyville, because frankly they were ready to take a break from each other as much as Twilight was this time. So Twilight returned to her library alone, where she floated in some luggage she’d brought from the capital city at the behest of her new therapist and language instructor Whatnot, who had kind of dropped everything and come to Ponyville on a moment’s notice.
Spike was looking at Twilight’s therapist suspiciously, and needed a lot of reassurance and love, to let him know he wasn’t being sidelined or replaced. He was quite an armful at times, that dragon, but he did have a good heart in him, even if he sometimes had trouble finding it. Twilight and her friends were all that way really, where the slightest unexpected thing could throw their carefully constructed paradigm into disarray. Twilight didn’t know what to do about it honestly. If you could anticipate what was going to go wrong, then nothing would ever go wrong! So what to do about what you can’t anticipate?
Fortunately, she’d already learned several years ago that stopping time was not the answer.
Twilight ended up going out for dinner, just as an excuse to have some time to herself to think. While Spike and her new instructor enjoyed an evening meal at home together, Twilight wandered aimlessly through town, feeling... things about herself, things she really didn’t want to feel. Just a profound sense of discomfort and anxiety. Why were her friends acting so strange? Why wasn’t she being the friend they needed her to be?
Twilight Sparkle came back to her library home with no good answers, but hopes that Rosy would be found. There was a meal left out for her, and Twilight took a... bite maybe, but she had bigger things to worry about, and it was too late in the evening to be snacking anyway. She planned on eating something in the morning, and then just went over to the reading table.
It was after hours, so Twilight had the whole library to herself, and she savored these evening hours. It was one of the small pleasures in life, to curl up with a good book, catch up on your favorite reading in the cool of a late spring night, to the sound of nothing but the crickets outside, calling each other and greeting the coming night.
Twilight Sparkle levitated the book she’d been reading before she left to apprehend Rosy: Cultivating Relationships by Friendly Harbor. Laying it out on the reading table, flipping it open to her bookmark, Twilight finally relaxed, sighing happily. Her tail swished idly as she leaned forward to read.
Her tail stopped swishing. She leaned closer.
“Whatnot?!” Twilight asked in a rising tone of panic, rising to her hooves and looking around wildly for where the other unicorn might have gotten off to, “Whatnot are... are you up there? Something’s wrong you need to get down here right away!”
“Wha—what’s wrong, princess?” the blue unicorn asked, running out from the back with her toothbrush floating behind her, and flecks of toothpaste foam still on her mouth.
“You need to check your spell!” Twilight told her with an unavoidable tremble in her legs and her voice, “You—you need to cast it again! I can’t tell if it’s working right. You have to cast it!”
“I can understand you perfectly fine,” Whatnot said, full of worry as she trotted up to the princess, “Are you having trouble understanding me? Can you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes I can understand what you’re saying!” Twilight said in Whatnot’s face, “That’s not the problem! Your spell is working fine but it’s not working!”
“Please, calm down, princess!” Whatnot whimpered, backing up from the enraged and terrified winged unicorn, “Just... tell me what I need to do. I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”
“I can’t read!!”
status report: everyone's a dick
TD punches a princess in the face.
Rosy suplexed one into a portal.
Your move, TD.
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I have it on good authority that Twilight is a cunt
8282977
That was one of my inspirations, in fact! TD taught me how not to write an HiE!
I'm... seriously disappointed in celestia and luna... did the bearers not tell her the whole truth? if they had told me the whole truth, i would have been disappointed in them.
Also, twilight has done nothing but spew crap about balance, yet they refuse to let discord out? harmony without chaos is purely harmonic tyranny. there is no true harmony without it
8283145
The only relation I can think of between chaos and balance is an unstable equilibrium, like a house of cards. If the force placing the cards is chaotic, the house will invariably get knocked down. So for your information they can maintain balance just fine without Discord, as they build the cards higher and higher and higher...
What part of the truth does it seem like the Bearers didn't tell Celestia and Luna?
8283206
if i may, fluttershy still hasn't told the whole truth to her friends, even IF she claims rosy was telling the truth. and twilight has been looking at this with rose colored glasses.
How could Rosy could ever believe that twilight was looking out for her own being when she constantly accused her of about every depravity in the book every chance she had to say it; it's not wonder that rosy pushed Twilight into the whole especially when she made it sound like a sacrificial alter to her. Twilight's 'help' was all in bad faith as she was just looking for 'morally' excuses to throw Rosy into the into the hole blatantly ignoring her harden wishes, despite not actually committing any crimes in Equestria. Why is Twilight acting like a hight and mighty bitch to her the whole time first she labeled her a stacker, then a threat, then a sexual deviant and singlehandedly decided to take the law into her own hands to force her?
I really starting to think that the title of princess is getting to her head now, despite claiming otherwise, thinking that her alicorn status means that she can do no wrong and doesn't question her own conclusions if they are really the right thing to do, or even ethically acceptable. I think her arrogances, and her willful ignorance of anything that doesn't fit her narrow world view and get ride of it is in part what is creating a drift between her friends and I think her friends are too afraid to to even think she might be wrong because of her princess status; also believing that their friend can do no wrong, refusing to consider that she might be twisting the truth to manipulate her friends.
This was an interesting chapter so far, I am looking forward to next week.
It's really striking that Twilight is falling over herself to gaslight absolutely everything Rosy does to be evil, to the point where she's actively ignoring context that she herself is fully aware of. Twilight knows exactly why Rosy has children's books in her room, remember? Rosy doesn't know how to read Equestrian, and has been trying to learn.
8283206
What makes it look like the Bearers have at least been lying by omission to Celestia and Luna is that they just ordered a full scale military hunt for Rosy, who hasn't actually done anything illegal outside of, "Isn't following the narrative that Twilight has determined to be the proper order of things."
"polychromatic pegasus and the princess squealed"
"pegasus, and"?
"in the singlemost biggest mistake"
"single most"?
Also: Oh dear.
"left Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie to"
"Fluttershy, and"?
"it seemed Bruce’s perversion regarding young human fillies even extended to Equestrian foals!"
Or, you know, there's her previously established difficulty reading Equestrian. Granted, that was some time ago, and ponies might learn to read more quickly than humans, but for humans, at least, even young humans with extra brain plasticity and time learning to read generally take more than two or three years to go from "See Spot run." to "Although the general form of Lagrange's equations of motion is preserved in any point transformation, the explicit equations of motion for the new variables usually look different from those for the old variables; they cannot be obtained simply by replacing old variables by new.".
"hay cupboard"
Neat. :)
"some odd items like granite dust and bone meal"
Huh. The first could be an earth pony seasoning, maybe? Second could be a number of things...
"her, and her litter into"
"litter, into"?
"Bluebell said looking at them with"
"said, looking"?
"but there was no interference for the Bearers to approach the rift directly"
"but there was no interference with the Bearers approaching the rift directly"?
Not sure here.
"and the couch had been removed for some sort of machine instead"
...Hm... Wonder what that is?
"Twilight said blushing angrily"
"said, blushing"?
"been in the portal,"
"been in the portal!" or "been in the portal."?
"if this Rift ever goes wild"
"rift"?
"so hesitantly for Twilight’s shoulder"
I was already wondering if the pony transiting the portal would not be Rosy, or Rosy alone. I think I'm now shifting from "wondering" to "suspecting".
"Then Rosy suplexed the princess into the portal."
Yeah. That.
Well! Story ought to be taking an interesting new direction now!
...Ahhh. Um. Well. That is also a thing that is now happening.
So! Now wondering more what Rainbow and Pinkie made of Keep Calm and Flutter On. And thinking that maybe they should show it to Fluttershy, quickly (though Fluttershy is probably not in the best state at the moment... to put it mildly). And either quickly show it to Discord or keep the show far away from him... I'm not sure which. ...Um. Dear me, there are just so many things that could happen. He's probably thrilled.
Oh, right, and Twilight was wearing her Element at the time, wasn't she? Because of course she was.
(As an aside, I'm wondering just what purpose the chaos surrounding his statue serves. Part of the containment system, somehow, I assume... improving his quality of life, maybe, so he's a little less eager to escape?)
"Nopony else in the clearing got in her way"
I doubt that they were deliberately not helping because of it (more surprised and with too little time to react), but I rather expect they will notice that, once again, their research camp was perfectly safe and very interesting right up until Twilight arrived and tried to improve things.
"That’s when Rainbow Dash jumped in the portal."
Oh.
Dear.
Oh, huh. A different different direction than I was expecting. Kind of disappointed that it looks like we won't be getting Twilight Explores Earth, but I'm sure whatever you're doing will be good. :)
"Applejack asked anxiously dancing on her"
"anxiously, dancing"?
"under her own flesh,"
"flesh."?
"blurple"
:D
"Laying in a hospital bed"
"Lying"?
"Twilight said sagging in relief"
"said, sagging"?
"make sense again,"
"again."?
"heavily disrupted your highness"
"disrupted, your"?
...Translation spells go "thwack"?
"like she were demonstrating"
...Hm. "like she was"? That sounds more right to me, but I think that this could be tangled up in one of the odd things English does sometimes ("as if she were" also sounds right to me). Not sure which way it actually falls. Well, your choice.
"Twilight rubbed the hoofprint in her forehead"
Ah. Thwack. :D
Hm. Is the doctor an earth pony?
"and lay a shining white"
"laid"?
"figure laying there in"
"lying"?
"couldn’t speak loud without crying"
"loudly"?
"Twilight smiled widely saying, “Ha ha ha, yeah no ponies dealing in Chaos here, nothing but pure Harmony from this pony.”"
...You're think Celestia would be better at reading ponies...
I am suspicious.
"everything they’ve been doing"
"they'd"?
"to take a break from each other too"
I'm not sure what that "too" is doing, sorry.
"dropped everything and came to Ponyville on"
"and come to"?
So did Spike recognize that Twilight going out for dinner on her own meant she wasn't actually going to eat anything away from the library?
Well, another chapter containing surprises, this one! And fun to be a reader of, if not so much a character in. :)
8283342
Aye, it's probably going to be... interesting when she finds that (for numerous "that"s in your comment) out. Though I do wonder just how she will now.
(It's possible she just won't, I suppose, but I think that this story probably won't be going that route?)
8283369
"What makes it look like the Bearers have at least been lying by omission to Celestia and Luna is that they just ordered a full scale military hunt for Rosy, who hasn't actually done anything illegal outside of, "Isn't following the narrative that Twilight has determined to be the proper order of things.""
There I'm going to disagree with you. Rosy pretty much hadn't done anything illegal or wrong (Keeping the rift open posing a danger to Equestria is a valid point to some extent, but I'm sure that and anything else that might have been a problem could have been dealt with pretty easily if they weren't blown out of proportion.) and was just a victim of Twilight's... thing, right up until she threw Twilight into the portal. Yes, she was pushed to that by Twilight, and I'm also pretty sure that the Princesses don't have the full story (or, alternatively, haven't told Twilight the full story of what they're doing, though possibly both); it was still, however, an attack on Twilight, a national and worldwide hero, and an attack that cracked (not without help, but it was the bit that actually caused the crack) Discord's prison. The extenuating circumstances might be enough to get Rosy off without punishment, but I think that that does need to be considered now.
8283451
Oh, I think Twilight will have a breakdown before she gets to that point. However, that one's big enough that she's totally going to have a SECOND major breakdown over that issue alone, or it'll massively compound her ongoing breakdown when she realizes that point.
8283214
Yes, Fluttershy hasn't told Princess Celestia that she got smoochy with Rosy Pink. Celestia talks with Twilight more than anypony else really, since Twilight is the princess, and also her former student.
8283227
Desperation, mostly.
Some people adapt flexibly to strange circumstances, feeling no distress when the world does not act as they expect, or their routine is disturbed. Twilight is not one of these people.
Ah. But Twilight specifically informed Rosy it was not a sacrificial altar, so clearly Rosy was wholly unjustified in her actions!
Thanks! I'll try my best to satisfy!
8283369
I know! It's awful! Twilight is just grasping at straws at this point. The thing is, if she doesn't find some way to rationalize Rosy as evil, then...
Assaulting a Princess and taking away her ability to read, wilfully threatening Equestria for personal gain, attacking the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony without provocation, evading arrest, impersonating a mare...
No, Twilight's pretty much seeking any port in a storm at this point. I'm sure if she stopped to think for a moment, she'd realize her fears about Rosy's children's books were completely baseless. She's ransacking a mare's house now though, not preparing her case to defend in court.
Well, Pinkie was right there to see it firsthoof, and she really didn't miss much, outside of Fluttershy tying herself up and cringing in fear at the sight of her own reflection bearing horns from the poster she'd ripped in half in a terrified rage.
...yeah they're probably a teensy bit worried about her after that.
It's giving him a stiffy. He's positively rock hard.
An enterprising pony in the Canterlot Containment Guard came up with the idea that a little chaos might prevent a very big chaos in the fututre, like a controlled burn. Plus Celestia still has a soft spot for him, and unconsciously wishes to comfort him even though she dares not free him. But that really has little to do with this story, it's just a random thing I thought about this world.
That one's on the backburner, but it'd be a very different universe than this one. also lewd
I dare you to find a better adjective in all of the history of human languaging!
Well she's not an alpaca!
Swarm of the Century. A Canterlot Wedding. Princess Twilight: the Episode. It's About Time. Celestia is either a master of deception, or a total ditz!
Well, he had dinner prepared, and he does know Twilight pretty well. It couldn't hurt to leave her a plate, just in case.
I'm writing this story in hopes that Twilight Sparkle will bore a hole from her universe into ours, just so that she can lynch me.
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Or, maybe she'll have a break-dance!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/30/25880.gif
8283451
"with no idea how to get support for her own deviation"
...Huh. Looking back, I think I may have misinterpreted some things about her; I'd not been aware that she had a deviation.
"I... have some really negative emotions about that sort of thing, sorry. I'm so sorry if it's hurting you, or bringing up bad memories. It's a bit in desperation that I explore this stuff, even the... bad stuff. I really don't know what else to do."
Oh, I'm sorry (for what that's worth). I hope writing this is helping, at least?
"Twilight is very sheltered, even by Equestrian standards..."
Huh. Well, that's interesting. :)
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I think you forgot to tag part of this as a reply to me. I was reading it anyway, though. :)
"No, Twilight's pretty much seeking any port in a storm at this point. I'm sure if she stopped to think for a moment, she'd realize her fears about Rosy's children's books were completely baseless. She's ransacking a mare's house now though, not preparing her case to defend in court."
Aye.
"Well, Pinkie was right there to see it firsthoof, and she really didn't miss much, outside of Fluttershy tying herself up and cringing in fear at the sight of her own reflection bearing horns from the poster she'd ripped in half in a terrified rage.
...yeah they're probably a teensy bit worried about her after that."
No, that was Putting Your Hoof Down (Though thanks for the information on that, and, ah, yeah.).
Keep Calm and Flutter On was the attempt to reform Discord.
"It's giving him a stiffy. He's positively rock hard."
[obligatory pun groan]
"An enterprising pony in the Canterlot Containment Guard came up with the idea that a little chaos might prevent a very big chaos in the fututre, like a controlled burn. Plus Celestia still has a soft spot for him, and unconsciously wishes to comfort him even though she dares not free him. But that really has little to do with this story, it's just a random thing I thought about this world."
Neat; thanks.
I imagine that the CCG goes in and changes the chaos [strike]regularly[/strike] irregularly, too.
"That one's on the backburner"
Oh?
"but it'd be a very different universe than this one"
Oh?
"also lewd"
O-- Um. I was not thinking of that particularly sort of exploration. :)
(It occurs to me I'm not sure whether you're saying that about what I said or about what sort of universe it would be, but either way, I wasn't thinking of it, so the wording works.)
"I dare you to find a better adjective in all of the history of human languaging!"
:D
"Well she's not an alpaca!"
Neat; thanks.
"Swarm of the Century. A Canterlot Wedding. Princess Twilight: the Episode. It's About Time. Celestia is either a master of deception, or a total ditz!"
...Huh. Yeah, that's... kind of a point. I think I tend to forget that about Show Canon Celestia.
"Well, he had dinner prepared, and he does know Twilight pretty well. It couldn't hurt to leave her a plate, just in case."
Thanks.
"I'm writing this story in hopes that Twilight Sparkle will bore a hole from her universe into ours, just so that she can lynch me."
Well, hey, maybe you'd get lucky and she'd get distracted with trying to conquer Australia halfway through?
8283679
maybe to rosy it WAS a sacrificial alter. having to sacrifice her new life of happiness for twilights selfish need to be right, and to be the hero. or... for twilight to force the world to fit her worldviews
Well, a bunch of new things this chapter. Twilight not being able to read Equestrian... Does that mean she will be able to read english without a flawed translation spell now? Also interesting how Twilight has no proof of Rosy being manipulative while doing the most to manipulate her own friends. Also Discord not being free is kind of a bad thing as that means there isn't enough chaos to balance out the order. Right now Order is upsetting the balance of harmony and I'm betting that the Elements aren't going to work on resealing the draconequus.
Really though, I'm curious as to which of the group will snap first and break away from the group. Right now it seems like AJ and Fluttershy will be first, though who knows with Rainbow.
8283709
Well, okay, I know this may be shocking to you, but Fluttershy actually sometimes really likes... mares.
It was that other girl who was saying it was depressing.
Oh, right. I always get those mixed up. No, they were pretty much continually facehooving throughout that one.
Let's just say it's a My Little Dashie fic gone horribly wrong.
Penny: Grand High Queen of Australia shall stop her!
8284115
Yes, it was a big sacrifice for Rosy, and despite wanting to ease Rosy's worries, Twilight's denial of that made things even worse.
8284335
Think about that in relation to Rosy Pink.
Yes I'm pretty much 100% almost sure that is exactly how the universe works maybe. You sure know better than they do.
But how could they possibly do that, when it would require saying "no" to Rarity?
This can only end in sadness and death.
8284825
Is that a challenge?
8284531
"Well, okay, I know this may be shocking to you, but Fluttershy actually sometimes really likes... mares."
Oh, I'd noticed that; I just hadn't noticed it was a deviation.
"It was that other girl who was saying it was depressing."
You did say you had really negative emotions about it and were in a bit of desperation, though; even if the emotions are a different sort, that still sounds like at least a somewhat unpleasant state for you to be in. Sorry fi I've misunderstood something, though.
"Oh, right. I always get those mixed up. No, they were pretty much continually facehooving throughout that one."
Ah. :)
"Let's just say it's a My Little Dashie fic gone horribly wrong."
...Huh.
(Reminds me again of that idea I had for a My Little Dashie fic with Rainbow Dash and some obscure horseman named Temujin. A different sort of going horribly wrong. :))
"Penny: Grand High Queen of Australia shall stop her!"
:)
"Think about that in relation to Rosy Pink."
...Oh, hum, right; Rosy's problem (here) was that the portal didn't convert her reading ability.
8284931
Oh you blessed child never lose your innocence. But seriously, Equestria doesn't even have a Pride Parade. It's kind of actually really messed up.
Well yeah, but what can you do? It just shows in a lot of my writing is what I'm trying to say, not that writing it is causing me any (more) grief.
Oh, well in this case, it doesn't go horribly wrong for the ponies.
It's sort of an anti-red-herring, where normally the other world just automatically speaks the same language or uses $magic to gloss over any implications of translation, but in my story it's actually a fairly significant plot point, and explores some of the possible consequences to just... changing someone's language. In fact, there are some scary implications when language is so fundamental to the universe that it has physical effects
8285160
"Oh you blessed child never lose your innocence. But seriously, Equestria doesn't even have a Pride Parade. It's kind of actually really messed up."
Ah. I suppose the evidence was mounting for that...
"Well yeah, but what can you do? It just shows in a lot of my writing is what I'm trying to say, not that writing it is causing me any (more) grief."
Right, I wasn't expressing sympathy for the writing, I was attempting to express sympathy for the events and hope that the writing helped.
...I don't appear to have done a particularly good job of that. Oh well.
"Oh, well in this case, it doesn't go horribly wrong for the ponies."
Oh? I am now curious.
"It's sort of an anti-red-herring, where normally the other world just automatically speaks the same language or uses $magic to gloss over any implications of translation, but in my story it's actually a fairly significant plot point, and explores some of the possible consequences to just... changing someone's language. In fact, there are some scary implications when language is so fundamental to the universe that it has physical effects"
Ooh. Yes, interesting; I'd not thought of it that way.
8285556
Not much that can be done. It's really not a big deal though. I'm just... I need magic, and it doesn't exist.
Well, as surely everypony knows, since I'm so aggressive in my marketing, my website has all my works-in-progress on it but beware for there be dragons.
The first chapters of the story you're curious about is here.
8285845
"Not much that can be done. It's really not a big deal though."
Ah, good.
"I'm just... I need magic, and it doesn't exist."
Yeah...
"Well, as surely everypony knows, since I'm so aggressive in my marketing, my website has all my works-in-progress on it but beware for there be dragons.
The first chapters of the story you're curious about is here."
Oh, I thought you meant you'd not started writing it; I might take a look at that later, then, if only one long enough to satisfy my curiosity (I'm still working my way through Bloom Filter, after all, among other things). Thanks.
8286690
I have like dozens of stories that I start writing, but aren't confident that they're worth sharing. It's kind of unhealthy. Be better if I could spend my time only working on stories like this one, instead of say, that FoE fixfic that's never going to see the light of day. Or you know, not writing 15 chapters of a story, without ever publishing it.
8286824
Ah, sorry about that. Probably better too much creativity than too little, at least?
8286969
I will say that until I found ponies, and got a certain... medication, my story writing ability plummeted to zero over the years. Now that I can... keep it together enough to put some of my ideas down on paper, it's just so nice not to have them all trapped inside. I'm kind of worried honestly, because it's such a dramatic change, it almost seems like too far in the opposite direction. Not that I'm even close to a professional author's output, but... they're better than me in pretty much every way, so I'm still worried I might get overwhelmed.
8287061
Ah. Good luck, then.
8285845
Well, I read the available chapters, but ah... they don't actually include much with regard to solving the mystery. So not really all that much help for my curiosity.
Though my current hypothesis is changelings (which the protagonist-of-uncertain-name also seemed to be briefly thinking at one point, though, if so, they lost the thought curiously quickly).
8287428
Yeah, I'm not at the "solving the mystery" part yet, but at the "am pone what now" stage, before everything starts going nuts. As I said, it's a story on the "backburner" and I'm not even sure if it'll work. Thanks for reading it, though!
8287523
"before everything starts going nuts"
...Oh, yes. Because it's all been perfectly sane so far. :)
"As I said, it's a story on the "backburner" and I'm not even sure if it'll work."
I don't know, but you at least have an interesting beginning. Well, one I find interesting.
"Thanks for reading it, though! "
You're welcome!
Also, a little while after I posted my previous comment, some thoughts from our conversation and your story ran together in my head, and out of the collision bounced the question of whether Solongo Khatun takes after her adopted father in the area of his legendary promiscuity. Which is... not an aspect of the story concept I'd considered before.
...Also, I have just learned from Wikipedia that apparently worship of Genghis Khan is a popular religion in Mongolia. Huh.
8287658
I have a theory, a wild speculation really. Call it a working model for the strange socialogical phenomenon known as arr rook same. While anyone growing up in such a situation will be more sensitive to smaller details and not see the similarity, even they can admit that comparatively, say for instance Europeans look like hairy, grotesque, brightly colored demons, who may or may not have a horn in their head. Why has this become a phenomenon, and why does it only stop at the edge of the Himalayas?
Well, the mongol hoards were pretty much unstoppable at the time, and Genghis Khan was (AFAIK) one of several waves that completely devastated the asiatic continent. If I recall, one thing the mongols never managed to wage war past was the giant mountain range known as the Himalayas. So why would this lead to genetic similarity? Well, the other thing that I heard was that this warlike culture had an interesting policy regarding conquered cities: kill all the men, and rape all the woman is fairly standard practice, but these people were determined to have their leader (and only him) rape the most women, as many as physically possible. Could it be that the legendary promiscuity of Genghis Khan was on such a massive scale to actually homogenize the gene pool? Is this what causes the mysterious similarity that people growing up outside the orient perceive, in natives from Japan to Tibet? Is my knowlege of history nothing but fragmented memories of political propaganda taught to me as historic fact?
Either way, his daughter and Twilight Sparkle are both girls, so they can only make a baby with one man every 9/11 months, rather than dozens of women a week. That's why it's so much worse for a man to be promiscuous than a woman. At least girls are only going to "knock up" one of the men they yiff. If Twilight wants to surpass the exploits of Genghis Khan, she'll have to find alternative means to do so.
...did I just derail my own comments section?
8287744
"Either way, his daughter and Twilight Sparkle are both girls, so they can only make a baby with one man every 9/11 months, rather than dozens of women a week. That's why it's so much worse for a man to be promiscuous than a woman. At least girls are only going to "knock up" one of the men they yiff. If Twilight wants to surpass the exploits of Genghis Khan, she'll have to find alternative means to do so."
Well, yeah, but the (relative?) lack of issue doesn't mean Rainbow-Dash-as-raised-by-Genghis-Khan couldn't do the rest of the process.
...Though Twilight, and "alternative means"...
I suspect that that may be relevant to your story.
"...did I just derail my own comments section?"
...Probably. :)
Interesting hypothesis, though. I'm skeptical, but I also can't immediately dismiss it.
8287811
Don't trust her cookies.
8287972
I'd gotten that, yes. :D
Okay... So I've read through this fic... And I can't really determine if I actually like it.
I have noticed a... quirk of how you write characters. Not only in this story, but also in Feeding Problems (though I don't remember it being so prevalent in the latter). You're characters don't really convey their thoughts and feelings with others in situations where doing so feels like it would be the natural course of action to take.
Perhaps it would work well in other scenarios, with different characters. But the show has already pretty much established that these characters aren't so withholding of the things that bother them. They would communicate with their friends more than you have conveyed in this story.
This lack of communication just seems plain unnatural to me...
Creating more tension both between the characters, and in the story itself,
that doesn't feel like it belongs with the characters you are using.
Edit: I suppose I should have included some specific examples.
Well... To start with, I don't recall Applejack once talking with her friends about how Rosy hasn't once done anything in her presence that begged mistrust, other than the first time Rosy ran away (Which was Twilight's fault).
Two, you established at an earlier point that Fluttershy believes her friends are in the wrong, but seriously, SERIOUSLY, has been too afraid to mention that in all this time? It's been at least like over a month or 2. I don't think Fluttershy would be so neglectful in a situation where she feels like somepony or ponies is being hurt. Because it feels like not only is Rosy being hurt by this situation, but all of the mane six are as well.
And then there is just the general fact that NOPONY has brought up the fact that Rosy hasn't had any real involvement in ANY of the bad things that have happened since she arrived.
I have to admit there is some fault on Rosy's part for not admitting to being a man before he arrived. I actually sincerely hope that ISN'T the only reason Rosy was being so secretive. Being gender swapped hardly feels like a good reason to avoid ponies as much as she/he has.
8291397
I'll try to help, if I can!
I'm down for conveying feelings and all, but I feel like you have an ideal of the characters, and are upset when they act in ways that may not be the best decision. If I have them talk out their feelings to solve every problem immediately, they'll just be mouthpieces at that point, preaching my morals without learning any lessons. It's not bad to put the characters through hardship, because you can't "win" a story. It's not a contest, and unlike in real life, you don't benefit from immediately solving all problems that rise up.
That being said, if conveying their thoughts and feelings would help the story, I'd love to find out where I've missed it and bothered people who read it.
Hmm... until the first time Rosy ran away, anything Applejack said about trusting Rosy would help them return her home even more. Even after that, she and her friends did trust Rosy, and left her alone. Even Twilight assumed Rosy was fleeing from some terrible abuse, and there was nothing otherwise wrong with her. Where would it be best to have Applejack talking with them about how Rosy didn't seem untrustworthy?
You're right it does seem like she could have said something. I wonder what was she supposed to say? Tell Applejack to stop staring at Rosy, and find out Applejack's just worried because Rosy's avoiding her? Tell Rarity to pay more attention to Rosy, because... it's not very nice to ignore her? But isn't that what Rosy wants?
What would you have had Fluttershy mention to her friends, and when? I'm having a hard time seeing what's missing here, sorry.
She doesn't believe they're in the wrong, anyway. I tried to establish Fluttershy believes that Rosy's terrified of returning home, because she's a weird stallion-mare, but Fluttershy's criticisms was not that their friends were doing wrong, but that they could maybe have been nicer in doing it.
When did they accuse her of involvement in that stuff? They're just freaked out that she was a stallion, assume she's been molesting ponies in secret because of this, and want her to return home so that the Rift will go away.
8291911
Okay, so... I suppose my reasoning with Applejack ultimately had little point, since there was very little she could of said to change anything anyway.
What I feel should have been said, what Fluttershy could have said, is that they should respect Rosy's wishes. Whatever acceptance they had in regards to how Rosy felt in the matter was given begrudgingly, as they immediately began doubting Rosy.
And I didn't even get into the matter of Twilight... I don't even understand where this idea, that Rosy was on some "quest", came from. I don't get where Twilight got that idea, or how she could conclude what that quest's ending point was, on her own.
And even supposing that Rosy was there on some "quest", what could it actually be? What glaringly noticeable thing is there, that makes Rosy different from almost everypony her age in Equestria? Or shall I say, what glaringly noticeable thing ISN'T there. Her story mark! I believe the subject was actually brought up once between Applebloom and Applejack, but that's it.
Twilight has, a few times at least, insinuated that problems didn't start coming up until after Rosy arrived. The shadow thing, I can understand at least a little bit, since it apparently came out of the portal. But there is no evidence that the shadow creature thing had anything really to do with Rosy.
I also remember Twilight bitching about the whole Pinkie Pie incident with the episodes, stating that this wouldn't of happened if it weren't for Rosy. That is also partially true, but it was Twilight who decided to use her magic to translate the episodes to Equestrian film in the first place. Rosy wasn't involved in any of that.
And I am quite certain that Twilight also made complaint that the whole dealio with Starlight happened after Rosy showed up. Why in the heck does it matter that Starlight's crap came up after Rosy showed up? There is literally no connection what so ever.
The only issue that could probably be brought up is that Rosy didn't help them save the ponies from Starlight. But the same can be said of just about everypony else in Ponyville.
Edit:
Oh... And I don't think Twilight has presented any evidence supporting the notion that the rift will actually close after Rosy goes back through.
In the end this all comes back to the fact that Rosy didn't do what Twilight wanted, and that's the only reason anypony had to begin doubting her.
You say that characters can be in the wrong. True, since Twilight quite clearly is. But... *Gasp* None of her friends seem to realize it. Even though they have been able to recognize when she was going too far and doing the wrong thing in the past.
I do want to mention that I don't really have a problem with you as a writer. I actually rather enjoyed Feeding Problems. The motivations of the characters weren't bad, and the base concept of the story was really cool.
8292593
I imagine when someone whispers to themselves like "Why must she corrupt everything she touches?!" generally what they tell their friends is, "she's been at the center of so many problems, I can't help but suspect her of wrongdoing." It's a very emotional reaction, that Twilight would be ashamed to claim as fact. I should have Twilight mention that to some of her friends, I suppose.
I think Applejack would be more likely to say that... Fluttershy thinks Rosy's wishes include lusting after mares. Fluttershy might say that if they were nicer to her, Rosy would return home like she's supposed to.
Twilight reads a lot of books.
All Twilight said was "oh no what if Starlight and Rosy team up?!" That means she has no idea if they're working together, but thinks it'd be bad if they are. Anyway, Applejack raised the purple alert after that, and sent Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to help get Twilight calmed down, so she was pretty clear that such wild speculation is unacceptable. However I could have Applejack bring it up I suppose, just so people could know Twilight doesn't really believe that...
Eh, those books are later in the story, and nobody's questioned her claim, not even the ponies studying it. If they didn't see any evidence, they would have asked Twilight to show some evidence. They didn't ask, so there must be some evidence. But again, I probably could have them refer to all that evidence instead of just letting the reader figure it out.
Some of her friends realize it... but Applejack isn't sure of herself, Rainbow avoids confrontation, Rarity has been focusing on the wrong problem, Pinkie Pie doesn't trust herself to judge, and Fluttershy's thinks that the reason she feels critical of Twilight is because Fluttershy is such a bad pony by nature. I'll... look over the story and try to insinuate some of that more, I suppose.
Don't worry, they all have their problems, but they're working on dealing with them, they're not blind, and there is only so much shit they can take before something has to give way.
8292614
Thanks! Your criticism does have me a little miffed, but I hope that all this frantic rationalizing I'm doing in the comments can give me an idea of how to make that stuff clearer in the story itself.
8293187
When was that brought up in the story? I don't remember that being mentioned until after the most recent time skip after the incident with Starlight. Because if that is when Fluttershy figured that out, it doesn't explain all the time before the Starlight incident, including the time before Fluttershy was lead into the trap in the first place.
There was plenty of time between the very beginning of Starlight's involvement and when they first failed to get Rosy to go through the rift. Plenty of time for Fluttershy to say something to her friends. A period of time for which I remember no mention that Fluttershy suspected Rosy of lusting after mares.
I do remember something about Fluttershy hanging out with Rosy at some point before Starlight, but that doesn't mean she knew that Rosy was lusting after mares.
Maybe Fluttershy figured it out from the way she saw Rosy behaving... But this leads me to another question. Does Rosy being lustful mean that there is something wrong with her, in their eyes?
Plenty of folks lust for others of both equal and opposite sex in the real world and I haven't seen any mention in your story that being lustful is bad in Equestria. It hasn't even really been brought up until just now.
8293642
"I do remember something about Fluttershy hanging out with Rosy at some point before Starlight, but that doesn't mean she knew that Rosy was lusting after mares."
...Didn't we see Rosy and Fluttershy lusting after each other, and openly to each other, during that time?
8293642
The part after the Starlight incident was a flashback. Fluttershy's known Rosy used to be a stallion for a while...
How about the part where Twilight blows her lid over the discovery that Rosy's a stallion, immediately assuming he's a sexual deviant? Or the part how all her friends are frightened and shocked by this realization, instead of rolling their eyes like a new age free love iron pilled pony would do? (well, almost all of them...) Or how Twilight's example of perversion is a picture of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy kissing?
I might have hinted at it before, a teeny bit. Like how Rainbow was so easily cowed by a relatively inoffensive word, or how Bluebell is just... this single mom by accident. It's a common direction stories go, where along with the show's Y-rating, a real Equestria would be kind of... repressed. It's hard to portray that though, since repression means it rarely comes up.
.
I clapped!
Wait wait wait, did celestia make an empire built on false pretenses? Is Twilight just following her teachings?! What the FUCK?!?!
9582851
Nothing out of place there..: