The Beginning
The swirling storm over Ponyville had already begun dissipating, and in the fierce light, the clouds melted away. Ponyville ponies stopped their panicked flight, stunned by what was happening above them. Down and up the road from Ponyville, refugees stopped pulling their carts to look overhead. Las Pegasus was silent and still for a moment as everypony stopped what they were doing to look in the sky to the east. The true sun crept downward, hiding behind the horizon, yet it was still bright as day in most of Equestria.
Rarity left one of her old haunts in Vanhoover, to join the other ponies on the street, wondering at what was happening overhead. Fluttershy fluttered out from a forest in Baltimare, with chipmunks resting on her arms, shoulders, and rump, and didn’t understand, but was terribly afraid for her friends.
A troubled pink unicorn with purple hair ran out of the cave they’d been hiding in. She wasn’t looking so well, her legs a bit too thin to be healthy, and her hair poorly combed. “This better be important,” she grumbled, “Party Favor had just agreed to join us again, and now... this?”
She stopped, and stared.
Somewhere in a hidden tower in Canterlot, emerging from a pile of mismatched socks, knicknacks and sundry, a solid stone eagle’s claw was illuminated in the sunlit twilight shining in from the room’s one lone, tiny window. The claw’s fingers were curled towards its palm, and its thumb was extended upward, as if it had always been that way.
A princess of midnight blue who really should have been asleep the past day sought out her dear sister. She found the resplendent white mare in an observatory tower, out on the balcony, with a most unusual guest at her side. Both Celestia and the raspberry blue mare were quietly watching that glowing fireball high above.
“Just how long is this going to last?!” Princess Luna declared angrily, stomping up to the two of them, waving a hoof in the direction of the fireball in the sky, “Is anypony to see my stars with that in the way?”
“Not much longer, Luna,” Princess Celestia said, not pausing in gazing up at it wistfully, “You should enjoy it while it’s here. I’ve only seen this happen once before in my life, and circumstances were not nearly as good as they are now.”
“I just hope Green Dream got away,” Blue Raspberry murmured, seemingly not even acknowledging Luna’s presence as she stared at the phenomenon with distant violet eyes, “I wasn’t counting the time it took. I should have been counting the time.”
“And why is this mare not in the dungeon right now?” Luna asked crossly, “Is there something you haven’t been telling me about this sister? Did you plan this?”
“Plan?” Celestia said, at last looking from that distracting fireball to meet Luna’s eyes, “No, I’m as surprised as you were, honestly. I don’t know why Blue Raspberry didn’t discuss this with us beforehand.”
Luna opened her mouth, and closed it again. Celestia’s gaze betrayed no humor or deceit.
Luna rubbed at her temple with a forehoof and Celestia picked up on that, blushing and saying, “Alright, it’s not exactly out of the question that Raspberry might not be totally open with us. But what of the others? What was that... artifice that she threw through the portal? How did she know the Rift even worked that way?”
Raspberry stiffened, staring silently as she faced fixedly forward. “We’re not the only ponies Blue Raspberry owes an explanation to,” Princess Celestia said, eyeing the little pony, “I can think of a half dozen ponies in particular that she might want to apologize to, if they’re not too busy apologizing to her.”
“Bluebell, too,” Raspberry said quietly. The princesses both looked to her. “Bluebell and Berryshine, and even Grape. They deserve an explanation, too. Not just the Bearers, but my... my old friends too.”
“I think we can accomodate that,” Celestia said in a contemplative tone, “For your crimes against Equestria... may have been greatly exaggerated.”
“Did you truly suplex Twilight into another world?” Luna declared curiously.
Raspberry covered her blush with a hoof at that, saying, “Yeah... not my finest moment.”
“Then you’ve had finer moments than that one?” Luna persisted skeptically.
“It took away Twilight’s ability to read,” Raspberry said plainly, blinking up at the moon princess, “I can’t imagine what that must have done to her. It was pretty awesome, but it wasn’t worth...” she gestured at the burning fireball in the sky. “...that.”
“We’re going to have to ask you some questions,” Celestia said seriously to Raspberry, “What you have done is concerning in many ways.”
“I should have—we should have asked you,” Raspberry said tensely. “I’m sorry, we just... it was my fault, really. I don’t think I can... answer your questions. No I mean I don’t know if I can answer them, because I was pretty much just... doing what they told me to. I guess if you ask, I could tell you who to get answers from.”
“That seems reasonable,” the sun princess replied, “What say you, sister?”
“If she answers honestly, I have no objection,” Luna said simply.
“These are matters of safety to Equestria,” Celestia told the little pony, “It shouldn’t be anything too terribly technical. We just want to understand what you were doing, and why. I think we can put off the full explanation until the rest of Equestria hears it, and you talk to your... friends about what you intend to say.”
As each broke their stoic silence, the one, then two, then three ponies talked at length in the light of the alien sun. Blue Raspberry’s ears seemed disinclined to rise at first, but there were times she was so excited at what she was saying that they perked up as high as a foal’s on hearth’s warming. Princess Celestia revealed very little in her reaction to Raspberry’s heartfelt and very informative explanation, though Princess Luna hadn’t the luxury of remaining silent, protesting most stridently, at first for Rosy’s impudence, and then for the injustice done upon her. Rosy didn’t seem angry though. She seemed excited yet relieved, both calmer and more animate than she had yet been in the presence of the princesses.
“So that’s what happened, as far as I know,” Raspberry said in a now calm, unsupposing manner. “I’m terribly sorry for all the trials I put everypony through, in asking for... this,” she gestured at the fireball in the sky. “I just want to stay here and live freely, but I can understand if you need me to be... detained for a while. Just please don’t send me back, that’s all I ask. I know it’s a lot to ask, after what I’ve done, but if you let me stay, I’ll do everything I can to make up for the hardship I’ve caused.”
The sun princess looked off to the distant phenomenon, saying thoughtfully, “This is an opportunity for us really, one that may be long overdue. I’m not entirely sure about this, but I think Pinkie Pie may wish to throw a party.”
“This is yet another colloquialism I am not familiar with, sister,” Princess Luna cut in bluntly, “Unless you feel that there is a group of ponies that Pinkie Pie truly wishes to throw.”
Celestia stared blankly at her sister for a moment, then a surprised laugh bubbled out of her. “I hadn’t even noticed that one becoming colloquial,” she said in eternal amusement, “It makes very little sense when you think about it! No, I mean that Pinkie Pie may wish to call for a celebration.”
“A celebration?” Luna asked in shocked astonishment, “In honor of what? The Rift exploded and we are still alive?”
“That’s a great idea!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, “We should go find Applejack!” Together with Twilight Sparkle, she and Dashie were poking around the empty streets of Ponyville, now that the danger had passed. Maybe passed. Probably passed. As the light started to fade, the darkness of an unscheduled night crept in from the horizon.
“Is it?” Twilight asked anxiously, “Applejack has every right never to speak to me again. I could have stopped this if I hadn’t had the wrong idea about Rosy Pink to start out with. Her farm is everything to her, and she was going to lose it because of me.”
“She’s not going to lose it now though,” Pinkie pointed out, “And we need to tell her right away that everything is safe again with the Rift good and... um... exploded up there.” Pinkie winced a little, looking over her shoulder at the fading orange of the detonation’s glow.
Twilight looked to Pinkie, as the three headed down the empty streets, saying, “I don’t know if everything is safe again, but... whoever did this seemed to think so. I hate being out of the loop.” Twilight sighed, her tail switching in frustration.
“So get back in the loop,” Rainbow Dash offered from closely above, “And start with Applejack. She didn’t even see all this go down, so as far as she knows that Rift is still in Ponyville! And you should be the one to tell her!”
“If you insist,” Twilight Sparkle said with a roll of her eyes. Her heart felt warmer as they walked along after that though. The three friends flew, bounced and trotted to Sweet Apple Acres, soon finding themselves surrounded by apples in the cooling evening light, as they looked for their apple loving friend.
The Rift overhead continued slowly fading out, until they were surrounded by trees and starlight. No longer a glowing fire, now cloudy swirls of light drifting about up there in shades of purple, green, pink and blue. It was beginning to look like something between an aurora and a pinwheel.
“I wonder why it’s not falling down,” Pinkie wondered, staring up at it without running into anything, somehow.
“My guess would be starmetal,” Twilight mused, “It’s what I would have done, at any rate. Meteorites that fall to the earth still have traces of stellar material in them. If you refined that, you’d get a substance that falls, well... up!”
“So it’ll keep going up forever?” Rainbow Dash said, looking overhead.
Twilight shook her head, saying, “No, it would rise to the star level at most, slowing down as it got further away from the earth.”
“So that’s gonna be a... star?” Pinkie Pie asked.
Twilight shook her head again, but said less certainly, “I don’t know anything at this point Pinkie Pie. We’ll have to hear about it the way normal ponies do, by the news I suppose, since I’m not a princess anymore.”
Instead of pushing Twilight further down that line of thought, Pinkie gazed up at it some more, saying, “It’s starting to get really pretty.”
Twilight paused to look up herself at the glowing phenomenon, and was drawn in by its strange serenity, as the stars started to come out around it.
“Hokay, you two look at it while I go find Applejack before it gets any darker,” Rainbow Dash said grumpily.
“R-right, we’re coming,” Twilight replied, and tugged on Pinkie’s arm. Pinkie blinked her big blue eyes, and they all trotted off together among the darkening trees.
They couldn’t find Applejack until night had fallen, and weariness started to seep into the ponies’ bones. What finally tipped them off was a faint lantern glow emanating from the root cellar. Their eyes widening in varying amounts of understanding, they headed down the stairs, though Rainbow Dash only trailed nervously behind.
They found the farm pony down in that cellar, passed out next to an oak barrel, with an empty mug cradled in her forehooves. “Mnunm,” Applejack said as Pinkie gently tried to wake her, and then less gently tried to wake her, with increasing alarm to the unresponsive pony. “Whazza?” Applejack said at last, jerking up in shock about a second or two after Pinkie swung her into the wall.
“Pinkie, are you trying to kill her?!” Twilight squeaked as both she and Rainbow Dash jumped back when the apple pony suddenly went flying across the room.
Applejack laughed at that, then... laughed a little more. “Y’all think a lil’ cellar’s gonna besht me?” she said, staggering to her hooves, or just staggering. It was hard to tell. “Aaain’t never met no... cellar that I couldn’t... sell heh heh.”
“What the hay is wrong with you?” Rainbow Dash said, darting up to her in alarm, “You’re talking all funny and—” Applejack belched loudly, “And that!”
“You’re not on salt are you?” Twilight asked with a worried hoof lift.
“Ah c’n see why you’d... think that,” Applejack said lurching over and pulling Twilight into a one-armed hug, “But ishssha side effect of...” She kind of stared off into space again, her hat barely holding askew on her ears.
“Appl—” Twilight started uncomfortably, before Applejack bellowed in her ear,
“OF ENOUGH BRAN—bran-dee! Askts like shalt, if’n you... you have enough t’drink.”
“How much have you had to drink?” Pinkie Pie asked, eyeing Applejack with confusion. She had never heard of a pony getting this wasted on just alcohol.
“Halla it!” Applejack declared, stomping stubbornly, “Ah gotta drink every...vry lasht drop don’t want not one drop ain’t that... that Rift ain’t gettin’ one drop o’ mah shider.”
“This um...” Rainbow Dash turned the tap on the barrel Applejack had been lying next to. “This one’s empty.”
“Zere’s more where that came from!” Applejack replied, staggering past Dash, her belly noticeably wobbling with its sloshing contents, “Now you’ll schuze me ah gotta... gotta drink th’ resht’th barrelsh before it all goesh into the Rif’ like a toilet kablooey”
She might have attempted to drink that much brandy, but Applejack just fell flat on her face then, and started snoring.
“...well you heard the mare,” Rainbow Dash said, trotting over to the second barrel, of what looked to be several dozens, “Let’s get—”
“The Rift blew up, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight asserted. “We’re not going to waste any more of Applejack’s special aged cider, while she’s unconscious at our hooves!”
“When you put it like that, it does sound kinda bad,” Rainbow Dash admitted with a guilty wince, stepping away from the barrel. “So, what do we do about her?”
“She’s all alone out here, and I don’t think that’s such a good thing right now,” Twilight replied, looking thoughtfully down at the unconscious orange earth pony, “No idea how that much cider might affect her. We’ll just have to take her with us...”
“Well I’m not taking her to my house, that’s for sure,” Rainbow Dash said bluntly.
“And my house is a public library, so it doesn’t really have many places for her to um...” Twilight said, hesitant to describe Applejack’s disorganized tangle of limbs and snoring as “rest.”
“Well my house is a private restaurant,” Pinkie Pie reasoned, “And there is a family with two young foals living there. So let’s take her there!”
Both looked at Pinkie who smiled and clarified, “Because the Cakes left last week, so there’re extra beds there, and we haven’t had any customers for a week since the bakery closed, and as a restaurant we have plenty of food to help her with, like water and hay, and... just water and hay is all she should eat really.”
Both of Pinkie’s conscious friends smiled and nodded.
“Sounds good Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said in relief.
“Let’s get her over there then,” Twilight said, levitating up the limp body of Applejack.
Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie got out of that cellar, walking through the oddly silent apple orchard, with the birds and critters all having all fled a week ago. With Rainbow Dash watching over her, Pinkie carried Applejack gently draped over her back. The farm pony’s breath smelled really strong, from all that silly juice she drank. She didn’t even stir as Pinkie’s body flexed beneath her, carrying Applejack smoothly down the road into town.
Down the hill to the town the four ponies went, one limp atop the pink one, while the cerulean and lilac ones stayed to either side of her. Walking the mostly empty streets, they approaching a dismal looking, boarded up bakery, with a giant cupcake on the top of it. With Applejack sleeping in the bed for Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Applejack’s three friends sat around a table in the other room over hay and tea, and tried to wrap their heads around what had happened.
“Okay, I think... I think everything worked out okay, somehow,” Twilight said, chewing on too small an amount of hay for Pinkie’s liking. “The Rift isn’t going to hurt anypony up there, and... nopony got hurt or injured. We have a few houses to rebuild, but... things worked out for the better somehow. There was another way, and Rosy—I mean—Raspberry found it.”
“That other way put ponies in danger, though!” Rainbow Dash protested, “You heard what she told the princesses. She didn’t even know if it would get high enough before it went off!”
“Yes, well, it’s not any worse than what I did!” Twilight replied hotly. Then she glanced away from Dash and said, “...which was wrong, but it was only wrong because I didn’t think of the consequences. Rosy knew what she was risking, and found the benefit greater than the cost.”
“So she doesn’t get to be a mare, big deal,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes, “Seriously why is it such a big deal? It would’ve been safer if she went through the portal to just be a human again.”
Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash again.
“What?” Rainbow Dash asked self-consciously.
“You were the one protesting my actions regarding Rosy Pink, almost from the start,” Twilight said cautiously.
“Your actions, yeah, because you were trying to force her to go home,” Dash replied, “That doesn’t make it a bad idea, just it’s bad to try and force her so hard. I don’t understand why she had to risk so many ponies for it. That doesn’t mean I’ll throw her through the Rift! It just means I don’t understand.”
“Well I don’t... fully understand either,” Twilight admitted, “But it really was that important to her. I’d hate to force her to do that just for my safety, and I think anypony who understood what she was going through would agree.”
“What about all the other human ponies?” Pinkie Pie asked, fiddling with the teacup between her hooves. “They weren’t all like Rosy. Most of them wanted to get home, and were even cr–crying when they couldn’t go back.”
“I don’t know, Pinkie,” Twilight said despondently, “The Rift may no longer be an option, so, all we can do at this point is try to show them how it’s not so bad staying in Equestria, and keep them under close watch before they do anything like Rosy Pink. It’s ultimately up to them if they want to... mope about or not.”
“I just wish the humans could see how great and wonderful Equestria really is,” Pinkie sighed wistfully.
She inhaled.
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle glanced at each other in concern before the inhaling pony. Then their eyes flashed with recognition, and as one, they facehooved, saying together:
“Oh.”
“I just had the best. Party idea. Ever,” Pinkie declared ecstatically. “Again!
“I have to get ready!”
And just like that, she was gone, nothing more than a Pinkie Pie shaped dust cloud left behind. And Pinkie Pie colored, oddly enough.
“Pinkie and her crazy leaps of logic,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes, as sounds began to emanate from beneath the floorboards of Sugarcube Corner, of an excited party planner with some serious party planning to do. “She’s right though,” Twilight added respectfully, “This is a strikingly similar situation to the Yaks. Except instead of sheep, we have a...”
Twilight glanced out the window from Sugarcube Corner, but only saw darkness. “...exploded Rift.”
Rainbow Dash shook her head bemusedly at that. “Never question it, Pinkie Pie’s gonna have everypony smiling before the end of the day.” She yawned then, saying, “Speaking of the end of the day, I’ve been putting out fires and pushing lightning bolts away from houses all day. I dunno what time it is, but I think I’m overdue for a cloud nap.
“Enjoy yourself, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said pleasantly, “I probably should turn in, myself. And maybe try to get word to Spike, that he doesn’t have to live with my parents anymore. Oh, and Whatnot... she’s probably worried sick. Oh, I’ve got to check on her and then—”
She cut off, looking at Rainbow Dash evenly. “And then, I will get some sleep,” Twilight said, as seriously as if it were a binding oath.
“I’ve got a better idea,” Rainbow Dash suggested, “How about I go fill in Whatnot on my way home, and you go sleep in that bed right back there, with Applejack.”
“You really think she’d be okay with sleeping with me?” Twilight asked with an anxious wing flutter, “I don’t want to upset her.”
“Well, she needs somepony to watch over her while she sleeps off all that cider,” Rainbow Dash said, “So, that’ll make her even more glad to be your friend. It’s win/win!”
Twilight smiled at that, saying, “I guess you’re right, Rainbow Dash. I know it can’t possibly be that simple, but... thank you.”
“Catch you later, egghead!”
Twilight watched her blue friend soar sleepily away from the bakery, and even though she was alone, the former princess still had a soft smile on her face.
Sometime later, Twilight wasn’t smiling as she sat in the shower, scrubbing the vomit out of her lilac fur coat, trying to think of what to tell the Cakes about what happened to their bed. It could have been a lot worse though. The next sunlit morning, Applejack opened her eyes, and winced, sat up on the couch, groaning and holding a hoof to her head. Then, the farm pony noticed Twilight standing there asleep on her hooves, next to the couch she lay on.
“Uh, Twi?” Applejack said, wincing at even the low volume of her voice. “Twilight?”
She gave her friend a nudge and Twilight startled awake. “Oh, Applejack you’re—!” Twilight started to say, and as Applejack’s face contorted in pain and her ears went flat, Twilight said very quietly, “You’re awake.”
“Ah feel like buffalo went an’ stampeded on mah head last night,” Applejack rasped, while Twilight worked out her legs one after another, “What the hay was ah doin’?”
“You had... a lot of brandy,” Twilight replied a little too emphatically for Applejack’s liking, “And Pinkie can confirm what I vaguely remember reading about it, but that stuff can have some serious psychoactive properties in large doses.”
“How large a dose?” Applejack said, wincing again.
“Well, um...” Twilight toed the floor.
“How. Much.”
“Just one... barrel,” Twilight said, with a wince.
“What?!” Applejack shouted, jerking up, then she clutched her head and hissed in pain.
“Here, drink this,” Twilight added hurriedly, levitating a glass over to Applejack. Applejack took it gratefully and downed its contents all at once.
“Ah swear,” Applejack groaned, “Ah am gonna formally change mah name to Tepid Water after this.”
In honor of Applejack’s tragic loss, Ponyville’s “Welcome to Equestria” party was strictly non-alcoholic, but otherwise they went all out. Streamers and ribbons covered everything that wasn’t totally destroyed. (Destroyed sections were fenced off. (The fences were covered in streamers and ribbons.)) There were booths set up with all sorts of wonders you could find from all over Equestria, from pinwheels to birdhouses.
The birdhouses attracted a number of ponies who were curious how ponies built things by hoof or wing. There were some tail jugglers that drew a number of awed looks from foals and adults alike, who looked at their own tails in worried wonder, as the ponies skillfully flipped crazy objects about using only their hair. There were weather engineers from Cloudsdale, explaining how their city functioned as an important source of and moderator of weather everywhere, while also being the greatest cloud creation known to ponykind. They demonstrated cloudcrete, and rainbow manipulation, and of course the ever popular bottled lightning.
Several ponies gathered around the musical entertainment, asking about the quartz speakers, and how Equestrian record players worked.
Princess Celestia stood majestic in the sunlight as ponies came up on stage to greet her. In this party, fewer ponies did so out of admiration, and more out of wide-eyed curiosity. Curiosity that grew to unimaginable levels, when Princess Celestia lowered the sun that day. She was quick to quiet these human ponies though, for her dark sister had awakened, coming to fly down to the stage with Princess Celestia. The two shared a warm, friendly nuzzle, and then Princess Luna announced,
“Greetings, stallions and gentlemares! Rejoice, for the day is won, and the true festivities have just begun. You see above you in the sky, the product of the hard work and effort of many ponies to save Equestria, and Ponyville from ruin.”
Everypony turned to look at her, and then to regard what was above them all. What was above them as the night sky came into view defied description. A glowing violet, pink and blue swirl that turned lazily in the sky above them. A strange sphere of glimmering yesness. An answer to a question you never knew you were asking.
“To speak of the status of this Rift will be a great scholar that many ponies around Equestria have come to know and love,” Luna continued, “Just what is that swirling disc of colored light? What will it mean for us, or for our foals? To answer these questions and more, I present to you Dr. Jack Harness!”
“Greetings, everypony,” the stallion said, stepping into an amplification spell. As stoic as ever, his white coat cut a sharp contrast with his deep blue fur. The light blue of his eyes pierced the crowd as he regarded them in an intimidating, yet somehow welcoming stance. “I’m going to get the important part out of the way,” he said with a flick of his short brown tail, “As near as we can tell, the Rift is no longer an imminent danger to anypony.
“When I joined the Trotwood Institute of Multidimensional Examination, I had heard of a rift in space in legends and fairy tales, in ancient history, but never expected to actually see such a thing before my eyes. The opportunity to study the Ponyville Rift has been a life changing experience for me, many of my colleagues, and many ponies here who have had their lives touched by it for one reason or another. I can’t express how grateful I am to have seen this through to the end, and I can’t express how sorry I am that you had to risk your homes and your life for this thing.
“What my team has done is ended the Rift’s threat by taking it far above the land, to remain in the sky,” he continued, gazing up at it, “By deliberately provoking it into a bidirectional instability, we managed to stabilize it permanently. It was a ...relatively controlled explosion, and according to our measurements, it should remain open indefinitely, a safe distance away from ponykind. Caught in the weave of our ionosphere, its egress in the other world should be nearing what they call low earth orbit, even as we speak.”
The doctor addressed the crowd again, saying seriously, “On the other side of that portal is a sphere covered in life, that bears host to a civilization of creatures you may know as humans. In a world without ponies, they spread from their native lands in Zebrica to dominate the globe. Despite this, they are terribly vulnerable, without any magic in their lives, and suffering from only primitive, rudimentary concepts of friendship and harmony.
“These humans present for Equestria a unique opportunity, no a duty,” Dr. Harness said with a stomp, “Because they need our help. Some live their entire lives without friends, or even lovers. They have terrible conflicts that could be avoided simply by learning about each other and finding common ground. This new world is what I would call an opportunity to help, and to be invaluable to those across the divide.”
He glanced down, and then said soberly to the crowd, “But they’re not the only ones who need help. Equestria lives in harmony, but that harmony has led us to social stagnation. We have become masters of our special talents, but unprepared to do anything else, to adapt and change as new situations, or worlds come around. What I think Equestria needs is a shaking up, a new sense of wonder. The humans of the other world thrive on change, and they can teach us to be better prepared when things go wrong.”
He paused, adjusting his spectacles he wore for the occasion, to look at the notes on the podium, “Instead of (ahem) screaming and running in panic at the first sign of trouble,” he recited.
While Dr. Harness resolved to never let his students write his speeches again, and revealed many important truths about the Rift that are positively vital to understanding what just happened, a certain mare was standing off to the side, away from the majority of the crowd. Once a cream colored, soft-pink-haired pony, now she was bright blue, with a mane and tail of deep maroon. She had acquired a cup of sparkling punch at one point, but had left it on a table, to speak in quiet tones with some of her close friends.
Pinkie Pie wasn’t sure how to approach the situation, but she reeeeeeally kind of wanted to, because she was so curious about what Rosy had gotten up to. Pinkie’s curiosity felt like a timber wolf crossed with a manticore, pretty much. And also Pinkie could think of nopony other than Rosy to whom Pinkie had more to apologize. Not even her sister.
Pinkie Pie had a lot to apologize to her sister, if she was still alive somehow, but none of that had been Pinkie’s fault. What happened to Rosy... to Raspberry Blue had been, if not avoidable, certainly made worse by Pinkie’s blundering. Her failure to stand up to Twilight. Her failure to keep quiet on matters ponies really didn’t need to hear. Her failure to decide, when it was so easy to let others decide for you.
In the end, Pinkie went with what she knew. “So, Raspberry, how’re you liking your party?” Pinkie Pie said in a hopefully jovial and not scared tone, trotting up to them.
“It’s everyone’s party,” Raspberry Blue said evenly, unconsciously stepping between Pinkie and Bluebell, “I was just the one who had to be in the middle of it all.”
Pinkie saw Sea Swirl, the blue-haired pink unicorn who had gone home to Baltimare when Ponyville was no longer a place to be. She was standing together behind Raspberry with a pony Pinkie was pretty sure went by the name Dustbunny, but Pinkie couldn’t recall seeing her anywhere but in the background in Baltimare. They were both talking with Raspberry and Bluebell when Pinkie so literally interrupted, and Raspberry stepped in the way.
“I’m not gonna be all weird or anything,” Pinkie Pie said defensively, maybe a little defensively at Raspberry’s protective stance, “I’m just glad you’re having fun.”
“Pinkie, it’s okay,” Raspberry said, though her erect ears didn’t make her seem very sincere, “The Rift can’t hurt me anymore, and it can’t hurt you either.”
“Well, I hope so,” Pinkie replied noncommitally, “Sure it could all come crashing to the ground and start making everything explode again, but I mean what are the chances of that happening?”
Two of the four ponies, Sea Swirl and Bluebell both looked nervous at that, and glanced up at the Rift. Some seconds later, Dustbunny broke the tension, stepping past Raspberry towards Pinkie and saying in a throaty alto, “So you’re the famous Pinkie Pie, huh?”
“Yeah, I kinda am,” Pinkie said, blushing pinker, “But ponies are gonna like who they’re gonna like, so I just try not to disappoint them too much.”
“Planning parties all day must be nice,” Dustbunny replied in amusement, “Sure is better than ditch diggin!”
Raspberry snorted a laugh at that.
“Yeah, sorry, nothin’s better than ditch diggin,” Dustbunny replied apologetically. She stuck out a rather well used and somewhat dirty hoof, saying, “Name’s Dustbunny. Seen you around Baltimare sometimes, but never got to meet the big shot Pinkie Pie up snout ta snout.”
“I saw you too,” Pinkie replied, taking her hoof warmly to shake, “Just in the background.” For some reason Raspberry snorted another laugh at that. “I’m so sorry I made you think I was a big shot. Because really I’m more of a little shot!” Pinkie said to the hoofshaker. There were a few chuckles at that and Pinkie grinned, saying jovially, “Anyway, sorry to bother you, but there’s something I wanted to say to Raspberry Blue.”
“What’s that?” Raspberry asked, tilting her head. She really did have pretty violet eyes.
“Raspberry,” Pinkie said, facing her solidly, “I just want you to know that I’m really really really really really really...”
Pinkie Pie started choking up then, but she still kept on saying, “Really really really,” while Raspberry trotted the short distance between them exclaiming,
“Pinkie what’s wrong? Are you crying?”
Pinkie Pie didn’t know how to say it, or what to say, so she just broke down, sobbing out, “Really really really,” until Raspberry said, crouching before her anxiously,
“Stop! What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry!” Pinkie cried, pulling Raspberry into a tight embrace, “I’m so sorry. It was all my fault. It was all my fault I’m so sorry Rosy please...” She kind of couldn’t make words then, and Pinkie Pie was ruining her own party, because that’s what she did, right? So she just kept doing it, until she had calmed down enough that Raspberry could pull her to arm’s length.
“Guess I lied, when I said I wasn’t gonna get all weird,” Pinkie said in a muted tone, twisting sideways and blushing self-consciously.
“Are you okay now, Pinkie Pie?” Raspberry asked, and Pinkie couldn’t help but notice that all of Rosy’s friends except Bluebell had left them alone... had left Raspberry alone because of Pinkie Pie.
“I don’t know!” Pinkie whimpered in confusion, “I might never be okay, and I don’t ever want to hurt anypony like that again!”
“Pinkie Pie?” Raspberry said in confusion, “You? When did you ever hurt anypony?”
Pinkie sniffled, and replied in a little confusion herself, “When Twilight tried to force you to go home, and we did all those awful things just because she said it was the right thing.”
“Pinkie, you can’t blame yourself for what Twilight—” Raspberry started to say.
“Yes I can!” Pinkie squealed.
The blue pony cuddled with her was shocked to silence.
“I told Twilight a story,” Pinkie confessed more quietly, with less squealing. “It was a really really rea—” at Raspberry’s flat stare, Pinkie blushed, continuing, “sad story about m-me and something that happened to me a long time ago. I’ve never seen Twilight so upset before. It hurt her so bad, and she didn’t say anything but it was so obvious. First she started lashing out at you, because without you, I’d never have told her the story. Then she d-did just what my mom did, and she didn’t even know she was doing it. I s-stopped her then and tried to help, but she was just so... she would look at me, and the story would still be in her eyes. All because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut, or have something ponies call tact.”
Pinkie shaded her eyes, saying, “You can’t blame Twilight for what she did, because she didn’t even know what she was doing. I knew though. I knew and I couldn’t stop her! It’s all my fault! You should—” Raspberry kicked her in the head.
Which is to say, Raspberry smacked the side of her foreleg against Pinkie Pie’s cheek, stopping Pinkie’s speech in a surprised squeak. “Can you listen to me now?” Raspberry said, staring at Pinkie Pie. “Can you just hear me out?”
Pinkie nodded. The two of them stood separate again, unsureity meeting unsureity.
“You can’t blame yourself for what Twilight did,” Raspberry said with a frightening amount of ardor. “You can control what you say to her, but once you said it, she’s out of your control. You didn’t make her try to push me through the portal. I did. I was trying to—never mind. My point is that if your... story was as terrible as all that, and nothing else was going on that could have bothered Twilight besides your story, then Twilight still chose to... react the way she did. You can’t expect yourself to make her decisions for her. You can blame yourself for everything you actually control, and beyond that it’s just...”
Raspberry looked up behind Pinkie Pie, then looked back at Pinkie Pie, saying a little less confidently, “Twilight still isn’t talking to me.” Pinkie looked over behind herself, and Twilight was standing there at a distance over by the punch bowl, looking the other way.
“She always looks away when I notice her staring,” Raspberry said unhappily. “And I’d like to apologize for... for taking away her ability to read, but I can’t make her talk to me again, and I can’t make her stop hating me. So it’s not my fault, even if I wish it was. When I can do something about it, then it is my fault. And you shouldn’t blame yourself, either. Ponies were saying that you were the one who... kept Twilight alive. Was she really...?”
Pinkie was starting to tear up again, which was enough answer for Raspberry. “Wow,” the blue pony said, taking another more discerning look at the princess, “That is dark. ”
“You haven’t heard anything yet!” Rainbow Dash shouted, swooping down from the skies. “Wait’ll you hear what Starlight Glimmer did last year!”
“Who’s Starlight Glimmer?” Raspberry asked worriedly.
“Oh she’s a piece of work,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes, “I shouldn’t have brought it up though, because this party’s supposed to be about you human ponies, not her.”
“It’s fine,” Raspberry said with an earshrug, “Pinkie and I were just—” She looked around for Pinkie Pie, seeing the pink party pony making a beeline for Twilight Sparkle, who was herself strutting stiffly away. “Huh.”
“Yeah, Twilight’s been kind of... standoffy today,” Rainbow Dash said, kicking back and relaxing in the air, “Try her on a day when we’re not throwing a party about the Rift, and how terrible she got over it.”
“She got pretty bad, huh?” Raspberry asked, looking sentimentally at Rainbow Dash, “I heard rumors from Sea Swirl mostly, but I’ve been a little out of the loop.”
“Boy have you been!” Rainbow announced, landing before the earth pony, “We’ve been tearing apart Equestria looking for you! Did you really change your colors? Is that a thing you can do?”
“Well it’s kind of... not really something ponies talk about, but yeah basically,” Raspberry said, “I also took a potion that changed my hair, made it a little more... Rainbowdashy.”
“Hey I’m not complaining,” Rainbow Dash said, with a little swell of pride that somepony might like her hairstyle that much. Let Rarity sit on that one for a while! “Long as you don’t make it rainbow colored like mine. Trust me you do not want ponies thinking of you that way.”
“I haven’t seen anypony else with a rainbow mane,” Raspberry said, “No more than three colors at most. I was starting to think that you’d have to dye it that way or something.”
“My hair is completely natural," Rainbow Dash said unhappily, “Way too late now, but if I’d have known you could, I’d have changed my colors a long time ago.”
“But your colors are...but...” Raspberry stared at Rainbow Dash, supremely confused. “Do rainbow manes look ugly to ponies or something?” she asked tentatively.
Rainbow Dash laughed at that, “Nah, just the opposite. Ponies would be all over you, trying to figure out where another Rainbow came from.”
“Another Rainbow?” Raspberry said uneasily.
“Yeah there were three of us and—well it’s not a secret or anything, technically, but it’s kind of a sensitive subject with me,” Rainbow Dash said, rubbing her neck with a hoof, “You uh... you might be able to relate actually. Some ponies don’t really think I’m a real uh... pony.”
Raspberry’s glimmering, violet eyes widened, and she declared, “Of course! That makes so much sense! And I always thought I was the first human to come over.”
“You... huh?” Rainbow replied in confusion.
“It explains how you knew about tanks,” Raspberry explained eagerly, “And bullets. I’d heard the theories, but I didn’t think it was true!”
“What was true?” Rainbow Dash asked, wings spreading nervously.
“Oh don’t worry, your secret is safe with me,” Raspberry said coyly, strutting alongside Rainbow Dash with a distinctly swishy tail.
“Thanks, I guess,” Rainbow said, forcing her wings shut at the touch of that pony’s tail tip, “But it really isn’t a secret...”
“Well, Twilight doesn’t know at least,” Raspberry said a little less confidently, looking back over at Rainbow Dash.
“No, she knows,” Rainbow Dash said mildly.
Raspberry whipped around, staring at Rainbow Dash in shock. “Then why did she—?!”
Raspberry cut off, glowering angrily, saying, “You know what, never mind. I don’t even want to know.”
“Oookay then,” said Rainbow Dash, trying not to back up a step, “You know you’re still pretty weird, even for a pony.”
“I—I know,” Raspberry said, looking down and lowering her ears, “I am pretty messed up in general, but I think everypony’s weird in their own way.”
“Boy, you said it,” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes.
A ways away from the partygoing, and out of sight of Blue Raspberry, “I can’t do this,” Twilight Sparkle said to the wall of the alleyway.
Pinkie Pie answered her instead, asking from behind her, “What’s wrong, Twilight?”
“I—I don’t know,” Twilight said, twisting around and cowering further into the dark shadows, “She’s here, Pinkie. I look at her, and I see her, and I know her. How could I ever even think about talking to her? After what I did to her, I can’t even enjoy your amazing party because she’s there reminding me of what I’ve done.”
“You talked to Applejack,” Pinkie said critically, “And she’s your friend again!”
“I know, I know but... this is different,” the lilac librarian said tightly, “With Applejack, I wasn’t... when it comes to Raspberry, I’m just... afraid. I just don’t know what to do.”
The haunted mare who wasn’t even a unicorn anymore had no answers, but Pinkie Pie tried to have some.
Settling down with Twilight against the wall in the shadows, Pinkie just said quietly, “It’s hard when you have to think about this stuff.”
Twilight didn’t offer much argument.
“It’s all scary and hurts inside,” Pinkie Pie continued, hugging her hooves to her chest, “And it doesn’t matter if it’s your fault or not. You still remember doing it, and it still hurts.”
“Pinkie, what do I do? ” Twilight asked, looking at her with distress, “How do I make this better again?”
“Well you know I’m the Element of Laughter, not the Element of making this better again,” Pinkie said thoughtfully, “But isn’t it better already? The Rift isn’t gonna hurt us, Ponyville is safe, and we were having a fun party. So, what’s the problem?”
“Me. I’m the problem,” Twilight said bitterly, “I’m always the problem. Why should I even be here? Why am I not in the dungeon? Or banished? Or—”
“An’ what exactly would that accomplish?”
Applejack addressed Twilight Sparkle, strutting up to the two ponies in shadow, illuminated by the cool moon’s light. “We shoulda thrown you in the dungeon a long time ago, when all this started,” Applejack said seriously, “But now? How’re you a danger to anypony around? You ain’t hurtin’ nopony, and you ain’t gonna hurt nopony.”
“But I never meant to hurt anypony in the first place, and look what happened!” Twilight said miserably, “What’s to stop it from happening again?”
“Twilight, seriously, you never meant to hurt anypony?” Applejack said skeptically, “Not even in the heat of the moment? Not even when Rosy lied about you bein’ a bad friend?”
Twilight didn’t answer.
“You’re a lil pony, Twilight, just like the rest of us,” Applejack said in a more soothing tone, “You’re gonna get angry sometimes, and sometimes you’re gonna wanna hurt somepony. But you know what’s different?”
She gestured over her head at the sky, saying, “You been through this. You learned your lesson, just like those storybook things. Next time something happens that you... don’t think oughta happen, you’ll remember how well that went the last time you tried t’ force it. If’n you focus on gettin’ better, and back to where you cain read again, ah don’t think this sorta thing’s gonna ever happen again. At least, not with us around to stop it.”
“Applejack... your orchards,” Twilight said fearfully, “Your trees. You love those trees, and I almost... I just recklessly endangered them, and you, and... why are you even talking to me anymore?”
“Look, Twi, ah...” Applejack took off her hat, holding it to her shoulders, “Ah don’t think ah could recover from somethin’ like that. It’d just... kill me to watch mah orchards burned down t’ashes. But ah would recover some, an’ rebuild, and heal, and maybe it’d open up some new doors for me. Ah ain’t been far from the Acres since back in Hayshire. So what ah’m sayin’ is ah’d be real mad about it, but not at you, when all y’did was forget to study something. Ah know that’s a big deal for you, but for me, all that matters is your heart was in the right place. Ah just want you to know Twilight, that I’d burn down every tree ah ever grew, if’n ah had to choose between them and you.”
Both Twilight and Pinkie stared speechlessly.
“There’ll be more apple trees,” Applejack tried to explain, “But there’s only one you. You gotta special kinda crazy, and a special kinda way of seein’ things, an’ ah wouldn’t trade it for the world. So how about you stop feelin’ sorry for yourself, and go apologize to Blue Raspberry?”
“Wait, her name’s Raspberry Blue, isn’t it?” Pinkie asked uncertainly.
“I don’t care what her name is,” Twilight said, crawling to her hooves, “I can’t even look at her forward. How am I supposed to talk to her?”
“Aw, ah think you’re lookin’ at her sideways on account of you needta apologize,” Applejack suggested, nuzzling at Twilight’s mane. “Just don’t hold back, an’ you’ll feel better about it in a jiffy.”
“You might want to hold a little back,” Pinkie Pie suggested, “I think she’s had enough ponies break down crying in front of her.”
Applejack told Twilight, “Sugarcube, we both talked to Rosy—”
“We did?” Pinkie interrupted in confusion.
“Eyup, and she told us both ah reckon,” Applejack continued with a nod of her hat to Pinkie, “That Rosy wants t’make amends. Twilight, she wants t’apologize to you.”
Twilight laughed bitterly at that. Applejack didn’t laugh back though. “What could Rosy possibly have to apologize for?” Twilight said with an incredulous look to her apple loving friend.
“Maybe you should ask her,” Applejack said with a teasing smile, “Ah reckon she’ll tell ya.”
Twilight Sparkle looked from Pinkie to Applejack, before sinking her head and saying, “Fine. I’ll... talk to her. But the moment one of us starts crying, I’m leaving.”
“Thanks Twilight,” Pinkie Pie added herself, “I really want you to feel better and I really think this’ll help.”
She turned to Applejack, adding with a bright smile in the shadowy alley, “And thanks so much Applejack. You always know just what to say!”
Applejack snorted at that, saying self-consciously, “You know what to say more often than ah do, Pinkie, but I do have mah moments.”
The three of them sauntered off then, back towards light and laughter of the sounds of celebration.
“Well, that is indeed an adventure,” Rarity concluded, as Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Twilight Sparkle approached. Blue Raspberry, Rarity and somepony Twilight seemed to remember was Applejack’s... neighbor’s... cousin were there, talking together about various and sundry. “And Cannon Beach sounds like a positively charming village,” Rarity went on, “I shall have to visit sometime. Oh, hello, um...” she looked at the three approaching in varying degrees of enthusiasm. “You...?”
“Hi Rarity! Hi Goldenrod!” Pinkie Pie declared, while the orange-haired mare (named ‘Goldenrod’ apparently) looked at Twilight apprehensively, just like everypony did. Just like everypony should.
“Sorry to bother y’all,” Applejack said, putting a hoof around behind Twilight’s neck, so Twilight couldn’t just run away. “Twilight here’s got somethin’ to say to Rosy—er—Razzy here.”
“Y-you’re not forcing her, or anything, are you?” said the soft-voiced Blue Raspberry, giving Applejack’s arm a worried look.
“No, they’re not forcing me,” Twilight said, deliberately pushing Applejack’s arm off the only way she could think of: with one of those accursed wings. “But it’s been... really hard to talk to you. I–I don’t even know if I should. Just tell me if I’m... going over the line again. H-how have you been, Goldenrrod?” She tried smiling, even though she’d have rather screamed, and instead of Goldenrod acknowledging the former princess, Raspberry said,
“Twilight, I’m so sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” Goldenrod blurted out in a kind of dopey voice, staring incredulously at Raspberry. Then she looked at Twilight fearfully, and clammed up.
“Yes, and you should be too,” Raspberry said, pulling Goldenrod to look at her again. “You really think Twilight’s gonna hurt you? You think you could say anything that she’d get mad at? Hey Twilight,”
Rasperry caught Twilight’s gaze in... hauntingly familiar violet, saying, “You were a total idiot. Your bumbling almost hurt a lot of ponies, and if you weren’t so pig-headed, then the Rift might never have become a problem. Now... are you gonna throw me in the dungeon?”
“What? No! How could I—I can’t throw you in the dungeon anymore,” Twilight declared in confusion, “I’m not a guard, or even a real princess!”
“Are you angry at me?” Raspberry persisted, “Gonna use a spell to shut me up for making fun of a derpy egghead like you?”
“Why are you saying this?” Twilight exclaimed, crestfallen, “Why would you even think I would ever do that?”
“Because you can,” Raspberry said, “But you won’t.” She actually pushed Goldenrod forward then, saying, “Go ahead, call Twilight a derpy egghead, see if she even gets upset.”
“Well it won’t work now,” Goldenrod vacillated, shoving her rump back against Raspberry.
Raspberry continued to shove forward with determination, saying, “She doesn’t... want... you to...” but then Goldenrod spooked, breaking free and trotting hastily off in the other direction. The magenta and blue pony watched her go with a frustrated sigh.
“She’s not being unreasonable,” Twilight said seriously to Raspberry, “I did just almost blow up the town and its surrounding countryside... again.”
“Again?” Raspberry asked, turning back to look at her.
“Remember Tirek?” Twilight said. Then she blinked, and said, “Oh I guess that was before your time.”
“Twilight, I’m sorry,” Raspberry repeated, as Twilight fell to jumbled silence. Facing her squarely in a way that Twilight couldn’t really comfortably do, the mare said, “When I came here, I was just awful to you. I never did anything bad, but I didn’t even think you were a real pony. You were just a stereotype to me.”
Her ears sank as Raspberry admitted, “I pushed you away, just because you were the main character. I thought you couldn’t understand why I needed to stay, and then I avoided you. I left you blind in the dark. You hurt me and other ponies and yourself, swinging blindly, but you were trying! It was just... too hard for me to tell you.”
Twilight looked at Raspberry silently for a long moment, before she managed to reply, “I—I don’t know if I would have had a good reaction, even if you told me about the... stallion issue on your own. I assume that’s what you’re talking about. It’s just so different from what I’m... used to. It’s hard to accept.”
“It’s kind of hard for me to accept, myself,” was Raspberry’s shy answer, “It might be that. I dunno what I’m talking about. I just thought you couldn’t understand, that maybe I was wrong to feel like this. And you didn’t understand, because I never tried to help you understand. I thought I could just... avoid it, but the more I pulled away, the more you pushed, until um...” she gestured a hoof up at the glowing thing in the sky.
Twilight didn’t know what to say. “Rosy—Raspberry,” Applejack cut in, her friend stepping forward just a bit between Twilight and Raspberry. “We all did things we regret, not just you. All you did was what anypony would do when faced with...”
Applejack glanced back nervously at Twilight, and Raspberry took a step forward herself, saying urgently, “That’s exactly why what I did was wrong. I was just like everypony else in town, thinking Twilight was some kind of superpony, avoiding her, too afraid to talk to her. So I’m sorry about that. I should’ve at least tried to help you understand, instead of just leaving you trying to understand something you’ve never seen before. Is it any wonder things got so bad?”
“Raspberry,” Twilight said, pushing past Applejack with a hoof, “You don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who needs to apologize!”
“Well, I didn’t say you couldn’t apologize too,” Raspberry admitted a bit sullently, lifting a hoof uncertainly, “Though Pinkie pretty much apologized for you already I think.”
“I’d like to apologize,” Twilight said, scraping the ground, “I just don’t know where to start. I’m sorry I... said all those hurtful things to you, and didn’t listen to you, when you said you didn’t want to go home. I just wish there was some way I could make it up to you.”
“Well, you could start by enjoying the party, I guess?” Raspberry said, sounding a little flummoxed, “Quite honestly, I don’t really see what you could do, but I don’t really think there’s anything you need to do.”
Raspberry turned aside, not in fear, but almost in demonstration of herself. “I’m fine,” she said. “Better than fine, even! Everything worked out, and nopony got hurt. I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future, but I’m pretty happy with my life right now. What you did in the past doesn’t change that. No matter how close things came to disaster, they didn’t and outside of time travel, nothing is going to change that.”
“No. Time travel.” Rainbow Dash said firmly.
Everypony looked up to see the rainbow pegasus had descended from the sky just then. The night skies were dark, so it was hard to see a pegasus approaching from above, but Rainbow Dash’s brilliantly chromatic mane stood out in the even light of the hanging lamps that were illuminating the party.
“O...kay,” Raspberry said, giving the hovering pegasus a thoughtful look. “No time travel, fine. Is there really anything Twilight needs to do, then?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged, suggesting, “Listen to her friends more, stop making assumptions how things work, and don’t break into ponies’ houses, foalnap them, and try to toss them through strange portals.”
“Okay, yeah, that... would be good,” Raspberry admitted, but she looked back at Twilight earnestly, stepping up to her, saying, “But I think you’re already doing all that. Whatever went... wrong, you’re trying to get better from it, and that’s all anypony could ask. You might do weird... even terrible stuff in the future, but now there’s a lot fewer ways for that to happen.”
Twilight trembled as the red and blue pony came almost nose to nose, and Raspberry put a hoof on her shoulder, saying, “You seem like a really sweet pony, under the fear and... and ostracization. If you want something to do, I’d say you should make some friends. Not just your half dozen, but find out about other ponies, and what you need to do to make them feel safe around you.” Raspberry took her hoof back, saying, “That’s just an idea though, not any sort of obligation.”
“Yeah, I can... I can look into it,” Twilight said, with a sheepish smile. “Seems obvious when you put it that way.”
“I don’t think I could ask for more,” Raspberry said gladly, “Have a good life, Twilight Sparkle.”
Then she trotted of into—”Wait!” Twilight shouted.
Blue Raspberry trotted curiously back to the group, of Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle. “Something wrong?” Raspberry asked.
“Sorry,” Twilight said, “It’s no big deal or anything, and I don’t want to impose, but I was wondering if maybe you would be okay if we could maybe ask you a few questions?”
“Sure I guess,” Raspberry said, waiting with a casual swish of her tail. Then waiting a bit more. She waited, looking worried, while Twilight tried to think of what on earth to ask this pony. “Are you okay?” Raspberry asked worriedly.
“Yes I just—I don’t know where to start!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Really?” Raspberry replied, eyes widening in surprise. “I mean, Dr. Harness pretty much already explained everything I could have said, about what happened with the Rift, the other day. What else do you want to know?”
“The—the other day?!” Twilight squawked, “The other day? I’ve had questions for you since you arrived! How did you ever think that would be a good idea? How did you get to Equestria? How did you get so... good at being a pony? You had friends willing to lie to a princess to protect you! How did a pony like you go from just... friendless and alone, not even a pony, and lost in the woods, to... to...”
Twilight waved a hoof overhead at the glowing thing in the sky, shouting, “This!!”
Raspberry looked pensively at Twilight Sparkle, and sighed. Slightly shaking her head in resignation, she replied,
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- ferret · 32k words · 46 11 · 1.8k views
- Crescent Pulsar · 4.8k words · 30 1 · 739 views
- Alaborn · 25k words · 59 2 · 1.3k views
- SprocketProductions · 19k words · 52 12 · 2.2k views
- WiseFireCracker · 13k words · 174 6 · 2.8k views
- Tohshi · 23k words · 32 5 · 1.6k views
- dNihil · 30k words · 74 14 · 1.6k views
- TheColtTrio · 337k words · 146 14 · 4.6k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.153 seconds
Total duration
994 users online
69,268 hits today, 2,660,641 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The end chapter link brings some excitement to me! But the question is are you going to remove the chapter password lock? It'd kind of be annoying to have to enter the password every time I wanted to read the story.
Good~ Good~
So, that was a fun ride, see ya in the next one.
8446976
I plan on publically submitting the new story next Friday but I wanted readers here to get first dibs. If you don't mind some serious sneak peeks at what I'm writing, you can also read the chapter on my website. That website updates relatively automatically as I work on my stories, whereas Fimfiction only lets me update it manually. And of course, my website doesn't have a password requirement.
Or... if I ever do add a password requirement, I will spend the 10 minutes it takes to program my website to remember whether you've entered a correct password or not, so it doesn't ask you for one every time.
8446982
Aloha~
wonder what that mare was talking about Party Favor 'join' them again?
8447150
I'll give you a hint, it may involve either leather straps, whipped cream, back massagers, or sadness.
That was a wonderful way to wrap up all of the story, though I wonder if an epilogue would be appropriate to show how they get a long a bit later.
8447344
In the spirit of disobeying every literary convention known to ponykind, I've decided to do a requel instead. I should have an epilogue in about oh... 22 chapters or so.
And of course I had to wrap it up with a party, Pinkie style!
Huh. Starlight's re-recruiting? Interesting.
re Discord's approval:
:D
(Also, oh dear.)
"stiffened, staring silent as she"
"stiffened, staring silently as she"?
"we should have asked you,” Rosy said tensely"
Did you mean to use her older name there?
"Raspberry said in a now calmly, unsupposing manner"
"Raspberry said in a now calm, unsupposing manner"?
"“This is yet another colloquialism I am not familiar with, sister,” Princess Luna cut in bluntly, “Unless you feel that there is a group of ponies that Pinkie Pie truly wishes to throw.”"
Still, after this long? Huh. Well, I guess there's a lot to catch up on, and the phrase might indeed have not come up.
"“A celebration?” Luna asked in shocked astonishment, “In honor of what? The Rift exploded and we are still alive?”"
...
Wow, you don't know much about Pinkie Pie, do you?
Hm. Perhaps Luna had heard of Pinkie Pie's prolific party propensity but though it was an exaggeration. Kind of hard to blame her, actually.
"If you refine that, you’d get a substance"
"If you refine that, you get a substance" or "If you refined that, you’d get a substance"?
Neat physics. :)
"She never heard of a pony getting"
"She'd never heard of a pony getting"?
"What about all the other human ponies?"
Yees, I was wondering when someone would remember them... They were presumably less than thrilled to see their way home go so very much boom that it lit up most of a continent.
...
Um.
Also.
Iiii just thought.
Before, when this end of the portal moved, so did the other.
So what happens when this end of the portal explodes?
"declared ecstatically. “Again!” I have to get"
"declared ecstatically. “Again! I have to get"?
"Twilight said rolling her eyes, as sounds began to emanate"
"Twilight said, rolling her eyes, as sounds began to emanate"?
"Destroyed sections were fenced off."
And since the fences were not themselves totally destroyed, I can only assume that they, too, were covered in streamers and ribbons. :)
"skillfully flipped crazy objects about using only their hair"
Oh, checking: does this story's verse have the tails being mostly hair, without a long fleshy core?
"A strange sphere of glimmering yesness. An answer to a question you never knew you were asking."
...Uh. Huh. I can't presently tell whether that's metaphorical or not.
"the Trotwood Institute of Multidimensional Examination"
Fun with acronyms. :)
Ah, so it was them. I wonder, did Raspberry approach them, or did they finally get so fed up with Twilight's behavior that they decided to see if her opposition had anything to offer? Though that wouldn't answer how they found her.
"its egress in the other world should be nearing what they call low earth orbit, even as we speak"
I'm sure everyone wanting to use LEO for anything not related to the Rift is thrilled about that. Of course, that's if the Rift's explosion didn't have a component in that strange meld of electricity and magnetism that fried most of North America, in which case some other worries might be predominating just now.
"Some live their entire life without friends"
"Some live their entire lives without friends"?
And I'm sure that this
disguised alien invasionbenevolent interversal outreach program will go perfectly smoothly."to Raspberry Blue had been""to Blue Raspberry had been"?"Raspberry Blue said evenly, unconsciously""Blue Raspberry said evenly, unconsciously"?"something I wanted to say to Raspberry Blue.""something I wanted to say to Blue Raspberry."?"The blue pony cuddled with her"
When did they close again? I'm not seeing it after "The two of them stood separate".
Oh, the color change is permanent, not a repeated dye application? Neat.
Sigh. And we were just getting the air cleared, too...
"“Wait, her name’s Raspberry Blue, isn’t it?” Pinkie asked uncertainly."
Oh, uh. Right, adding a few strikethrough tags up above. :D
"off the only way she could think of how: with"
"off the only way she could think of: with"?
[Raspberry is concerned that Twilight is being forced into talking to her by well-meaning friends]
[Raspberry well-meaningly tries to force one of her friends to talk to Twilight]
Sooo sounds like Raspberry may still have a bit of work to do...
"you trying to understand something you’ve never seen before"
"you trying to understand something you’d never seen before"?
"Everything worked out, and nopony got hurt."
Well, except all the people who got evacuated, at best, on the other side of the portal. And anyone who may have gotten hurt in the armed conflict Twilight -- Oh, right, right, of course, no pony. Raspberry appears to have a firm idea where her priorities are.
"stop making assumptions how things work"
"stop making assumptions about how things work"?
"don’t break into pony’s houses"
"don’t break into ponies' houses"?
"as the red and blue pony came almost"
"as the pink and blue pony came almost"?
"“Are you okay?” Raspberry asked worried"
"“Are you okay?” Raspberry asked worriedly"?
Ahh, that's what you were waiting on getting the art for. :)
I don't know how upvoting and favouriting work on an unpublished story, but I've tried anyway. :)
8447056
Oh, I thought that you'd already submitted it and were having trouble getting it through? Was that resolved, or was I mistaken?
Did you come up with the term "requel", by the way? I don't believe I've heard it before you applied it in this situation.
Ah, and I was going to mention the story not being marked as complete, but it appears that it now is.
This story has been quite a weird experience. The garbled narrative threads, the implicit premises, the hinted at departures from canon, the numerous bait and switches.
It still was an interesting and compelling ride, which speaks volumes about you as you managed to handle all the intricacies here.
Thank you for this story, I liked it quite a lot.
8448013
Glad you "liked" it!
But no, seriously I'm so glad you found it compelling. It's something I'm always afraid of, pushing things just a little bit too far, to the point where intriguing becomes annoying, and curiosity turns to impatience. It's just so hard to resist such fun things like creative numerology, and subtle implications, and I'm glad my indulgences there didn't put you off to the story.
Oh, and if I may be so bold as to remind you, the ride never ends.
8447625
If I ever get to this part of the story, I would just like to say beforehand that I am so sorry.
It's also kind of a joke reference, because Pinkie Pie says "This calls for a celebration!" in Dragonshy, so that's actually what you're supposed to say.
Well when—
...yeah.
I haven't precisely clarified that yet, but there are good reasons to use both kinds of anatomy in a story. I will say in Magnificent that tails are most certainly definitely almost entirely "hair."
Ah the everpresent danger of the EMP.
Fun fact: most water supply networks in the USA are pressurized by electric pumps, not gravity. Loss of electricity would be a lot more devastating than most people realize, I think.
Don't only condone their obvious reuse, when hashing out or verifying every storyline.
Because it worked so well in Afghanistan! And then in Afghanistan again! And then in Afghanistan again!
Pinkie Pie's experiencing some technical difficulties.
When I rewrote the thing where... shit
Story marks on the other hand, can't be so easily faked.
To be fair, Raspberry has no way of knowing what Twilight's been screwing up in the human world.
Nah, physically pushing someone is way less evil than blackmailing them. Raspberry hardly does that at all anymore!
Mrs. Cake? Oh, no Raspberry's mane isn't pink at all. Magenta at most. Hope I didn't screw that up somewhere.
Me neither! Planning on publishing it this Friday though!
No, I couldn't even create it. It was a technical error, not a conflict with the admins. I forgot that the 250 character limit on short descriptions is secretly more like 230 characters.
I'm a regular modern Shakespeare!
Thanks for corrections!
8448421
I've seen it but I will probably wait for a couple of chapters, just to get some momentum
8448450
Great! I'll try to write them... fast... ish. Wait until chapter 3 for best results... should be here in about 2-3 weeks or so.
8448421
"If I ever get to this part of the story, I would just like to say beforehand that I am so sorry."
...Oh? Um. Apology accepted?
"It's also kind of a joke reference, because Pinkie Pie says "This calls for a celebration!" in Dragonshy, so that's actually what you're supposed to say."
Hm, not following you, sorry.
"Well when—"
"...yeah."
Though, in addition to the below, we also don't know how movement of one side maps to movement of the other.
(Though I do recall that, when first typing that, I somehow thought of the portal moving indicating a link without thinking of the portal moving moving the portal, potentially out of the way.)
"I haven't precisely clarified that yet, but there are good reasons to use both kinds of anatomy in a story. I will say in Magnificent that tails are most certainly definitely almost entirely "hair.""
Thanks.
Also, ""hair"", huh? Interesting. :)
"Fun fact: most water supply networks in the USA are pressurized by electric pumps, not gravity."
And while I don't have statistics to hand, I expect that most of the networks using water towers, for some gravitational assistance, use electric pumps to fill the towers, providing a buffer but not an electricity-independent supply.
"Loss of electricity would be a lot more devastating than most people realize, I think."
...What, do people thing that it wouldn't already be pretty majorly devastating? I mean, it was a significant concern during the Cold War, and that was before we wired delicate little microchips into pretty much our everything.
"Don't only condone their obvious reuse, when hashing out or verifying every storyline."
:D
(I thought your phrasing was a bit odd there, at first. :))
"Because it worked so well in Afghanistan! And then in Afghanistan again! And then in Afghanistan again!
"
And it's not like even a niche website by and for people who like ponies has a fair number of stories about the noble humans fighting back against the alien pony invaders. Or like there are a good number of stories in general of "benevolent" aliens with secret sinister motives. Or examples from history where the aliens were humans. And the ponies announced themselves with a massive explosion that, at best, barely missed North America, which surely won't make anyone even more paranoid. I mean, it's not like there was already evidence of covert pony destabilizing interference with human civilization.
"Pinkie Pie's experiencing some technical difficulties."
:)
"When I rewrote the thing where... shit"
Ah.
"Story marks on the other hand, can't be so easily faked."
Which reminds me: as of the end of this story, she still doesn't seem to have one...
"To be fair, Raspberry has no way of knowing what Twilight's been screwing up in the human world."
Ah, yes, good point.
"Nah, physically pushing someone is way less evil than blackmailing them. Raspberry hardly does that at all anymore!"
:D
"Mrs. Cake? Oh, no Raspberry's mane isn't pink at all. Magenta at most. Hope I didn't screw that up somewhere."
...Uh.
This chapter:
"Raspberry said, pulling Goldenrod to look at the pink and blue mare again"
Previous chapter:
"She was just an earth pony of colors blue and pink"
Actually, those are the only ones I'm finding, and I found other lines giving different colors, mostly magenta-ish. I guess I got a bad sample when checking the color.
There is a place in this chapter where her mane is called a deep maroon, though, which I'm not sure is close enough to what you wanted (not sure it isn't, either, but I thought I'd mention it).
And by that, something I appear to have missed last time:
"and tail of deep maroon, She had acquired a cup"
"and tail of deep maroon. She had acquired a cup"?
"Me neither! Planning on publishing it this Friday though!"
Ah, nice. :)
"No, I couldn't even create it. It was a technical error, not a conflict with the admins. I forgot that the 250 character limit on short descriptions is secretly more like 230 characters."
Ah, okay, thanks; glad you got that sorted out.
"I'm a regular modern Shakespeare!
"
:)
"Thanks for corrections!
"
You're welcome!
8449271
It's really not a very funny joke. Suffice to say throwing a party is a pretty strange colloquialism.
Thanks... I don't know why I kept doing that.
Stupid sexy Mrs. Cake...
8449421
"It's really not a very funny joke."
Ah. Okay; thanks and sorry.
"Suffice to say throwing a party is a pretty strange colloquialism."
It is, yeah, though I hadn't thought of it before it was brought up in this story.
"Thanks... I don't know why I kept doing that.
"
You're welcome, and sorry. :)
"Stupid sexy Mrs. Cake..."
:D
so, is this a human turned into pony story?
8469704
Returning Home is a story about ponies who have to deal with a human turned pony.
8470344
Thank you.
8511165
that old.
8511167
Sorry, yeah I should have checked more carefully.
8511187
yep that happen.
8511641
Relavent!
8511665
That's... one way to think about it, I suppose. With how long that Rift has been around, though...
8511682
She's my favorite pony.
8511694
Don't be silly. Segregation is totally natural and fair, and doesn't lead to oppression and exploitation! Other creatures aren't lesser than ponies, they're just different! And don't have as many rights. And aren't trusted.
But no seriously, sheep are terrible.
8511728
But they walk on two legs! Like some kind of troll!
8511757
Yes, exactly!
8511790
I just tried to imagine if people had never experienced that sort of thing their entire lives, suddenly had to deal with it all at once. What would their initial reaction be?
You think you had it bad. I had to write all them saying that!
8511804
I wanted to end a chapter with that line so bad, but it just wouldn't fit with all the other important turning points around it.
8511904
They already have been forced to start to come to terms with the fact that bad things happen when you get disgusted at stallions for making love to other stallions, and also transforming into mares. Fluttershy's revelation is kind of... not the craziest thing they're trying to deal with right now. Also Fluttershy changed the subject so quickly, to how denying your mistakes can hurt you, so nopony really had a chance to process what she confessed. I hate to say it, but Fluttershy is really good at getting ponies to miss what she's saying, when she is afraid of them hearing it.
I feel kind of cheated that Twilight never learned about all the lives she destroyed on Earth with her illegal activities and attempt at changing the planet's currency. She also got let off waaaaay too easily.
Other than that, this story was a ride. I was unsure at first, but the story -- and your writing -- got progressively better as the chapters went on.
8512608
Perhaps I'll get to that, someday...
Sorry my writing wasn't so good at the beginning. I'm glad I managed to clean it up when stuff actually started to go down.
8512734
Your writing noticeably improved as the story went on, I have to say. There are still some strange... quirks that need ironing out, but it went from meh (sorry, but I have to be honest) to good enough to be in my best of the best favorites.
8512849
It might just be that I'm bad at intros, or that we don't like the same things, but if the beginning didnt look absolutely amazingly flawless to me with no possible things I can think of to change, then I'd have changed it. So if I'm ever gonna improve, I'll need to know where it was meh and why.
8531783
Uh no. We don't use base 12 or base 60. We have some artefacts from times when we do, but pretty much all countries in the world currently use base 10.
I can. They adopt it from another civilization that better at the math. Some sort of pony-Earth Ancient Rome analogue or something. Mathematics, for the most part, are rather abstract and numerical systems don't need to correspond to a number of limbs.
Canon and secondary canon full of base 10 (like Failure Song where Twilight takes square root of 546) but have zero mention of octal or quaternary numerical system. Not even as the visual gag. So I don't understand why you need to change it to base 4.
8531833
We represent seconds and minutes in base 10, but we count them in base 60. That's all I meant is that we have artifacts of those number bases that are used even to this day, much to every elementary schooler's horror.
So why not base 11 then, or base 29? Mathematics doesn't require a particular number base, but they usually have a good reason for doing just about anything! Like I mentioned, base 30 is way more likely to happen than base 10, if you're just deciding on a counting system out of the blue. Base-10 could happen randomly, but I just don't think there could be any explanation for it, the way our ten fingers explain it in our world.
Yes, and they also write English letters. Why should I restrict my story because of that, though? If the show creators were supergenius saints, who knew all about advanced mathematical concepts, I might think twice about straying from their counting system, but they've never even heard of base 4, so how can we know whether they'd want to use it or not?
8532795
Um, no. They either use pictograms like in the beginning of season one or some unreadable squiggles. English letters used one or two times by Pinkie.
And then why exactly your ponies use base 4 but not base 6 (pegasi have six limbs) or base 5 (in case of unicorns they can also use their horn)?
Considering that different pony tribes have different body parts that they can use in ancient past for counting.
8533257
Welcome Princess Celest
Base 4 was created by earth ponies, first off. The other tribes did something else pre-unification. Everypony has 4 hooves second off, but only one tribe has a horn, and only one has wings. 4 is a number that shows up in anatomy all over the place in Equestria. (5 is not.) And finally, there's a qualitative difference between wings, horns and hooves. I could imagine pegasi coming up with a sort of binary communication by raising and lowering their wings and/or flags, but there wouldn't be any way to incorporate hooves, the same way hoofcant really isn't convenient to do with wings.
Anyway, I'm not trying to say it's bad for the show (or anyone) to use base 10. There doesn't need to be a reason to use it. But without a reason, there's no reason not to use any other counting system, if the author likes, and certainly no reason to complain outside of "learning is hard."
8534042
Problem is that changing the numerical system are not an easy task. You need to rewrite and recalculate every single piece of mathematics knowledge. And you need to it for sake of what? "Because we all have four hooves"? IMO, in this case, it would be far easier and logical to adopt a numerical system from the tribe that had most advanced mathematics. And I doubt that it would be Earth ponies.
There is a reason. It's like with maded-up units of measurement. If the author used... says... "zebulans" instead of feets or meters then every time when you see this "zebulans" you need to stop and calculate how much it would be in your preferred units. And that break a story flow. Same with a numerical system different from decimal. Every time when you see a numerical you need to either calculate how much it would be in decimal or see footnotes (if the author makes them).
Well, that my personal opinion, of course.
8534121
That's racist.
(Anyway, they did.)
Or you could just read it like "and then Gork pulled out zebuwhatever amount of korloquats" and not worry about the exact numbers involved. Any time you do anything different, it risks breaking the story's flow, and frankly I think most people can get used to it pretty quickly. I plan on being very consistent when using it, so I don't see the problem. It's not like I'm asking you to do math in that counting system, and if I ever do, it will be during a big, long-ass pause in the action and plot, with gentle introduction of the next scene afterward, so there's no "flow" to be broken.
You can't tell people not to ever put puzzles or riddles in the story because it might confuse some readers. This isn't even a riddle anymore, since I included a legend. It's just a quirk.
8534256
Where? As Hearth play show us they mostly farmers. They don't really need lots of fancy mathematics. Oh, most likely they do have them because of curiosity and the whole need of plot size calculations and building. But in my opinion to create shit like transdimensional portal you need lot more calculations.
And suddenly reader doesn't understand what the hell...
Actually, nevermind. I'm sure that at this point there a zero chance that we agree on something. So I just stop.
This is an amazing work
8773274
Thank you!
8820438
It gets worse. It gets so much worse. Just when you think it can't get worse, it does.
8820438
Oh pshaw. She's got nothing but this strange creature's best interests in mind!
8820553
So she... acts differently towards strange creatures in this story? I'm not seeing the inconsistency, in the sense that she's pretty consistently condescending, far as I can tell... it takes a lot to get her to depart from that way of thinking, in fact.
You dared...
THIS ISN'T THE LONGEST CHAPTER YOU'VE WRITTEN
GOOD STORY
Needs some spelling/grammar corrections but otherwise well written
8968191
Thanks! Any spelling/grammar corrections are welcome, though honestly I don't think a spelling error here or there is that big a deal.
It really is! Everything higher is just mixed up rough draft in-progress stuff!
I absolutely loved this story, even if it made my blood boil! That's a good thing honest!
9271700
I do try to make them seem as familiar as I can, if I'm going to try and use such beloved characters as the main 6 in my own story. Can't say I always succeed, though. I was going for the naive thing with Twilight, but also just look where she is now! The princess of friendship! And so quickly too. Even if she is capable, she must feel terribly out of her league, and she can't acknowledge those feelings, since what happened to her is a good thing.
Rarity's... relationship with Rosy had a really subtle undertone that I don't feel like I had a chance to capture in this story. She is snooty and self-absorbed, but also... trying to find ways to justify how she's been acting, without admitting she's prejudiced, disgusted and afraid.
Nah, Fluttershy is the worst.
9272161
Thanks! With all the horrible stuff I got into in Returning Home, I can imagine it was pretty rough to read. But it really does mean so much to me when people like it, and I'm definitely striving to write stuff you enjoy. Maybe I should go work on the requel a bit more...
This was one of those stories where I didn't give it an upvote until very far in. It was, to be honest, a fairly stressful read in a lot of places; the Cerebus Syndrome was real.
But, it's a complete story that redeems those who didn't know they needed it and ends. Sure, there are plot hooks left floating (like at what point did the humans start diplomacy with Bitcoin Sparkle?), but that's fine- viewpoints cause things like that to happen.
I like what you did with building the world, though. The changes you made to canon promoted a sense of unfamiliarly and bewilderment when confronted with it that helped cement the...ah, "qualia of discovery" perhaps? It's all too rare these days.
By the by, I was especially pleased that the final solution to the Rift didn't involve unicorn magic.
9352001
Oh dear, I wish I could've warned you to stop reading.
9352130
To be fair, Equestria's economy is extremely different from our own, so Twilight's a blind genius here, sort of like a bull in a china shop.
9352250
Kinderheim 511 was so woefully incomptently mismanaged and poorly thought out that I think even naive, innocent cartoon ponies could do a better job of it, so while I wouldn't ever defend Dash's upbringing as justified, it's not really fair to compare it to that train wreck of an institution.
9352386
Yeah, she really should've spent a few more years studying that alien culture before taking any sort of action.
9352480
Luna's got her hooves full with those six!
Sorry if I disturbed you. I find those descents kind of validating, because there's always a reason for it, some underlying issue that undermines everything else, which is to say something that can be addressed, and fixed, and healed. What I find horrifying are stories like Flowers for Algernon, where there's nothing anybody can do but helplessly watch themselves die. My story just takes your average "Twilynanas" episode and extends it from 20 minutes to uh... a very long time.
9352593
It can't be Cerebrus Syndrome! I don't even establish the characters as cheerful and light-hearted at the beginning! The story starts out with somepony almost freezing to death! In chapter 2, Twilight Sparkle shatters a full sized mirror in blind rage!
Well I'm glad I did something right! This story wasn't... the most pleasant of character assassinations, but I just love taking a premise, and sticking to it, but making a mystery out of the subtle variations I can make on it. It's like an off-camera look at the real Twilight Sparkle, even though it's just a different, fictional Twilight Sparkle.
Pegasus master race!!
Thanks so much for reading it, even if I didn't write it quite to your liking. You might be interested in the requel, since it's got a decidedly different theme than the descent into madness, but uh... unfortunately it's a better story, which makes it harder to write, which means I spend all my time on this tripe instead. I do hope to get writing more steadily on No Going Back though, as soon as I figure out how to care about things again.
9582746
Better notify their next of kin!
9582851
An empire? What? They live in the magical land of Equestria! It might not even be a kingdom! You mean the Crystal Empire? You think Celestia made up the Crystal Empire? What false pretenses?
9352593
Redeem? There's no redemption to be found. She saves all of Equestria despite them having forsaken her when they know she is innocent, but refuse to speak in her defense. The story ends with the hero alone and miserable in a prison cell, and nobody cares. A good story, sabotaged by a terrible ending.
9806299
You have to read past the end.
9807176
I did! Unless you've since revised the last few chapters since they I last read them, it was pretty much a downer. I don't see how any of the Mane 6 can actually call her a friend with a straight face. Or how humans in general can much trust ponies after Twilight's caused mass social unrest on earth by proxy.
Though it HAS been a while since I actually read it, so if you did revise the ending it probably slipped past my notice.
9807473
But you said "The story ends with the hero alone and miserable in a prison cell," and that only happens right before "The End" about 3/4 of the way through the story. "The Beginning" is a party thrown by Pinkie Pie. Did I really write a Pinkie Pie party so badly you thought that she was alone, miserable, and in a prison cell?
Also Twilight Sparkle speaks in her defense, in the end.
9807911
So you have altered the ending since then? I'll certainly take a look.