Mysterious shops that aren't there the next day are common in many worlds that have at least some magic to them. They appear in a variety of forms, from shady booths in exotic bazaars to squirrely hucksters with infinite-capacity trenchcoats to cosplay supply tables at convention vendor halls. But the classic, poorly lit store overstocked with mysterious trinkets is a timeless symbol of the plot device salesman's art, and Equestria is no different. Canterlot alone has eight of them, none of which maintain a single address for more than a week at a time and all of which reinforced by wards that protect them from angry customers looking for refunds.
None of that is going to stop the pair of angry orange hind legs approaching the front door of one at rapid velocity. After all, you have to buy something to count as a customer.
Inspired by the Time Action Glory Challenge's "April Tomfoolery" prompt and the pictured Starbucks menu item, which really did exist at one point in time.
Rated Teen for very mild innuendo and much less mild bodily processes.
8115832
Not by choice. Apparently, it sold out. Going by most reactions to the flavor, it was more for photo ops and satisfying morbid curiosity than because it was a taste sensation.
Still, in a sense, we drank unicorns into extinction.
As if there were any other expectations of something from Charbucks.
Now I'm wondering what the other five's essense-beverages would be. Applejack's would obviously be Applejack, Rarity's would be fine wine, Fluttershy's would be warm milk or something, and RD would be Red Bull. As for Twilight, I dunno.
That was sick, twisted, and I upvoted it.
I suppose that says something about me.
Aww... Twilight... I bet Pinkie would be perfectly happy to discuss things with you, if you only asked?
"If Rainbow Dash can't Sleep" Ref?
META!
Yes. The Pinkie Pie + Maud Similarities. Wow.
*snickers* Nicely done overall. I like the idea that the smooze is a minor elemental too.
off
This was wonderfully eldritch.
Just like Pinkie.
8115888 Twilight's would be lsd...because friendship is magic, and magic is only taken seriously by folks on drugs.
Heh, nice one-shot. :)
Carl thanks you for clarifying what species he is, by the way.
I think At the Hills of Hysteria fit better. Shoggoths, y'know.
On a side note:
"Sour birthday cake and shame"
Sounds about right.
I've seen this pair in fanfics before, but it's the first time I've seen Sunshine as a (moderately) evil (sort of) genius. It's a great story, but I'm not sure I like this character interpretation (although I suppose it's meant to be nonsensical. )
I love the reappearance of Sunshine's magical store from Sharktavia 9. I'd love to see that take root within fanon, as she's a perfect choice to run that kind of establishment. I'd also enjoy seeing more of your take on the twins.
Beyond that, I laughed at several points here. I mean, it earns its random tag pretty firmly, but it's worthy material.
at least her sister's book got signed, right?
...What?
Anyway fun story, would read it again.
Your description made me think of this comic: https://xkcd.com/1772/
Oh no, they have unleashed the dreaded Pinkdrazi! Er, not so pink anymore, I guess...
Yes, Twilight, it would. As much as I want to disagree with you.
And the sick burn from Moonie!
I should really stop giving this play-by-play.
8115847
8115832
Yes. The promotion started on wednesday, and was designed to last until monday, but most stores ran out on the first or second day.
Pinkie Pie, an equine abomination of unspeakable Harmony!
But yeah, this was utterly ridiculous from start to finish. Well done!
8115847
i.redd.it/c2eacl0hu3ty.jpg
The unicorn frappucino :)
Woo
Began to?
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I sincerely have no idea what the fuck I just read. Except for the "the fuck" part. Because...the fuck.
Yeah.
8115847 Good thing it's gone. I wouldn't want Pinkie to have to eat that many people's vomited-up Laughter Elementals, only for Starbucks to realize they used an Earth Pony for what they claimed to be a Unicorn product.
Feels more like a pastiche of three fun scenarios that would have each served as perfectly hilarious stories in their own right, but all kind of distract from each other in a single product.
Also, more of an Earth Pony Frappucino.
You had me there.
wtf did I just read .This was just crazy.
....... Why do I have the strange sensation that I had something to do with this?
Has anyone gone and tasted the Unicorn Frappucino? It looks horrible.
Well, that was enjoyable.
8117064 I had a post on it.
Those maniacs, they melted Twilight Sparkle into a Frappuccino!
8117064
i wasn't impressed. wasn't enough flavor
8115888
Technically, Sunshine's method works for anypony's essence, though your selections are certainly thematically appropriate.
8115899
Indeed. It says you're my target audience.
8115908
But not having to ask meant never having to take a terrible risk. Twilight isn't exactly good at taking romantic initiative.
More that Estee and I both think "defenestrate" is a funny word.
They weren't intentional on my part, though the parallels are there even in canon.
8115942
Not my intention, but I do like the idea. Though it does beg the question of what element the Smooze is made of.
8115946
Pinkie's like Kirby: A benevolent, pink eldritch horror who only wants to eat and make friends.
8116141
Thank you! I was wracking my brain trying to come up with a suitable riff on Mountains of Madness, but I was so fixated on working "Discord" into the title that I missed that one. Is it okay if I use it?
(Also, good to know I nailed the taste.)
8116273
Deep inside every unicorn is a megalomaniac trying to get out.
But yeah, the characterization was strictly so I could set up the real-life all-syrup Super Squishy. I don't think most instances of Sunshine resort to demonic pacts to bolster their natural positivity.
8116307
Oh, definitely. Pinkie even drew the Elder Sign next to her signature.
Granted, the tome was then quarantined and eventually moved to a secure thaumohazard containment facility, but it's the thought that counts.
8116502
No, no, no! I love getting play-by-play reviews. They help me see what hit and what missed. (And yes, devoid creatures are always colorless no matter how much pink mana you spend.)
8116511
Most of the other harmonious aberrations don't realize what they truly are. Yet. Twilight's a bit ahead of the curve, what with the mutation.
8116604
Heh. I suppose the question is whether the last one was served to a guy named Haggard.
8116829
The question is, who'd be more outraged, the unicorns or the earth ponies?
8116783
As a wise man once said:
8116845
Hence the possessive in the title.
8116973
I have no idea.
8117830
Feel free to!
8117830
How have I never seen this combo before? I even already have a Meteor Crater.
Y'know, Trait Doctoring would work with this too. There's no restriction saying you have to pick one of the standard five colors, only that you can pick a color...
I have no idea what the hell I just read, but I like it!
8115888 Jolt Cola, the beverage of students (and princesses) everywhere! Twice the sugar and all of the caffeine of the leading brand!
I KNEW YOU'D WRITE THIS XDDD
Well, not exactly like this, but you know what I mean
So...Pinkie is a laughter spawn?
Somepony had to write this. Good to see you did. Damn good job, Soldier, you're doing Faust's work right here.
Kek
8115888
Twilight Sparkle: absinthe.
Or maybe Hemlock juice. (As an alicorn, it surely wouldn't kill her)
8118100
Good old Jolt did indeed get me through highschool.
It's not sold around here anymore that I'm aware of.
Huh. I didn't know the plural of pancreas was pancreata.
I guess if Starbucks called it the Pinkie Pie Frappucino, it would violate copyright laws, as well as give away the main ingredient.
I see what you did there. At least Sunshine didn't get sucked into a lamp.
Congrats on the feature!
That may be, but it will always sound like something to do to calm down overly aroused stallions... permanently.
8119012 Hmm... a proper nerd drink.
Earl Grey tea.
Appropriately demented. Also, can confirm that "sour birthday cake and shame" is an appropriate descriptor for the drink.
8116783
This story's biggest sin is that the "she" delivering this joke is not Starlight Glimmer.
8117922
Thanks again!
8117923
Just remember that "choose a color" effects only work that way under Un-rules. And that depending on your eye color, you can also make brown or grey mana. Also, you can change colored contact lenses whenever you could cast an instant.
8118646
Goodness no! She's a much higher order of laughter elemental. Technically, she was a shaman at the beginning of the series, but the Rainbow Power transmuted her into an expression of thalian energy.
8119048
"Pancreases" is also acceptable, but I'm a sucker for unusual plurals.
Indeed. Besides, you'd basically have to serve it with a cotton candy garnish, and buying enough for every participating Starbucks would not be cheap.
Good to see someone caught one of the references in that rant. But yeah, it definitely felt appropriate for one who tasted true Laughter.
I'm still kind of dumbfounded that this got to the box. Not complaining, mind you, but dumbfounded.
8119986
Not if you pronounce it correctly.
8121316
Good to know I got it right.
This was for the Time Action Glory Challenge. Besides, I think I've done enough to Starlight in my stories for the time being.
8121454 Pronunsikayshun iz stoopid!
There's a word for that? Huh. I need to add that to my vocabulary right away.