Super Gypsy Lord Admiral Nyronus Shachza Shouldn't Write Shipfics, Volume II

by Shachza

King Sombra, Resurrected. Mrs. Cake. Slap, Slap, Kiss.

“Sombra!” The doors to the throne room slammed open as a stout, dumpy blue mare stormed into hall as quickly as her stubby little legs would take her.

“Ah, look,” Sombra purred in his deep, dripping voice, “a slave of mine thinks she has a spine.”

“I have more than a spine!” She thrashed. “You’ve gone too far now!”

“Oh, how so?” Sombra flowed off his throne like a serpent. “At what point did I go to far?” He chortled. “Was it when I enslaved the Crystal Ponies, again?”

“Worse.” She snarled.

Sombra poured down the stairs, flowing like black water.

“Was it when I cast down the Princesses of the Sun and Moon?”

“Worse.” Her eyes flared with rage.

“When I cast the Elements of Harmony into Tartarus?” He was suddenly before her like a crashing wave of darkness. “When I sacked Ponyville? When I took the alicorn babe from the arms of her screaming broken mother to raise as my own daughter, ignorant of the weak dam who sired her?”

Mrs. Cake said nothing.

“Or,” Sombra leaned down, his draconic muzzle and diseased, leaking eyes now parralel to Mrs. Cake’s own. “Was it when I killed your husband?”

Mrs. Cake cracked him across the face with a solid right hook.

Sombra staggered back, and snarled. Mrs. Cake struck him again. Then again.

They stared at each other, the most intense hate possible in their eyes.

Then then leapt upon each other, locking lips and falling into a pile of thrashing hooves and tongues.

~~~

“That was… nice.” Sombra grumbled as he took a drag on the cigarette.

“Oh it was, deary.”

“I admit, the second slap caught me a bit off guard.”

“Oh, I’m sorry deary! Sometimes I get a bit into the part, don’t you know.”

“No, no” Sombra grinned, placing the cigarette into the tray and pulling Mrs. Cake into a spooning position. “It was fine. That’s what the safe word is for. Honestly, the intensity of the roleplay is what really makes it.”

“Oh I know,” Mrs. Cake giggled. “You were so intense tonight. I’m really glad we did this tonight!”

“Oh, me too Cakey. This really was a splendid idea.”

“I’m glad I came up with it my Big Ole’ Shadow.”

Sombra growled and nipped at Mrs. Cake’s ear. She giggled and tried to wriggle away. Sombra finally got ahold of one which lead to Mrs. Cake giving out a happy squealed.

And then the door slammed open.

“I’m really glad you let me come to the Crystal Empire Anthrocon, sweetie. Really great to see all my friends again. Party was winding down though so I decided to come and see y-”

Mr. Cake finally turned around after placing down his bags and saw what was going on in his and his wife’s hotel bed.

No one spoke for a full minute.

“I can explain.” Mrs. Cake finally said.

Comments

[Super Trampoline]

A true masterpiece

[Shachza]

8373126

While I can't upvote my own story, I can upvote the crap out of your comment!

[Super Trampoline]

8374460
I always above my own story. Other than the one where I want people to down vote.

[Viatorem]

One of the few shit-post-ship-fic in then the site that actually good a chuckle out of me, well done 👏

[Shachza]

11214484

Glad to hear that this brightened a day! I just wish I could take credit. The way we did this was to draw ramdom prompts, write for a few minutes, then pass over to Biscuit. Biscuit then shuffled all the stories around and each of us ended up with an anthology of randomness. My own are somewhere else in this gordian knot of collaborative shipfic shitfics.

Or maybe this one is mine... Is... is any of this even real? I don't know anymore!