silvercrystal432
Joined 13th Nov, 2017 ·
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great job so far. cant wait for more
I am working hard to get each chapter out for you to enjoy, the next chapter the date will be out today or tomorrow it depends if i have the time.
thank you
There is never enough
Please link the picture properly by the way.
https://30clock.deviantart.com/art/Twidash-430576525
Umm, you are missing some very basic things, like capital letters in the beginning of sentences.
Just that makes it look really sloppy.
hey man I'm gonna keep reading your story and see how it goes, but I would suggest that you could improve the dialogue, the things twilight and Rainbow say are robotic and developed, I think it would be great if they seemed more real. Anyway keep writing and I'll keep reading
8551760
Well he wanted to give us the chapter asap. Typos can happen that's what proofreaders are for
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/the-proofreader-group
Just so that everyone knows, I know I am misspelling words and rushing these chapters out. It's because i'm juggling this story with my school work and it keeps getting harder on me, i'm stressing out trying to complete this story and do my school work at the same time and I don't have time to get each chapter proofread before it's put up. So from now on I will put a chapter up every Friday so it's perfect before it gets put up.
thank you
8553304
You need an editor my friend. Quite a lot of grammatical errors. For instance, when you do dialogue, you don't put a space between the quotation marks and the first word.
There are other errors as well. You should look into getting an editor
8553304
Have you never been on a date before? The way you described their dresses was like really formal wear. You don't go see an action/adventure movie in formal wear. You wear formal wear to fancy restaurants and formal events.
Also it takes a hell of a lot longer than 2 months to plan a wedding. Hell it takes 2 months just to get all the invites out and make reception reservations
8620688
I intend to fix every mistake in the story that I have made and thank you for pointing them out