Spike had disappeared from Ponyville as we know it after the Diamond Dog incident, and somehow ended up in the TF2 universe. Now watch as he returns to Equestria, and balances having 2 families with similar morals and different ideals. THIS is gonna get wierd.
RIP Rover, talk about brutal.........
Good work keep it up! If you need any aid on finding stuff out on the tf2 side just shoot me a message
three things
1) writings in this style should be in the past tense, it's called the “literary past tense” for example
dragon came over
dragon was wearing
He said
I can’t show you every sense because its constant through the entire writing so just keep this in mind if you decide to fix it.
2 )we need art of spike in this fic.
3) just gonna put this here
orig00.deviantart.net/4ccc/f/2013/209/2/e/spike_pyro_gear_by_metal_kitty-d6fj2vp.png
https://metal-kitty.deviantart.com/art/Spike-Pyro-Gear-388881493
orig00.deviantart.net/7cf1/f/2013/218/a/b/updated_weapons_concept_by_metal_kitty-d6gx89a.png
https://metal-kitty.deviantart.com/art/Updated-Weapons-Concept-391221262
descriptions for the weapons are in the links.
8723079
Thanks, but I have youtube and the internet for that... though I do need a proofreader that is fluent in TF2 speak.
8723211
Sure thing I can do that fairly easily
8723218
Sweet! Do you need my gmail?
8722981
Sorry, it's just...
I hate that character, something about him just... doesn't feel right to me.
Also, It seemed in character for demo, with the whole 'demo-knight' subclass, to hate anyone who harms a lady.
8723230
Yeah so I can tell
Who sent what mine is just this username plus @ gmail.com
8723274
Okay then, mines... A bit more private, but you'll recognize the title
Okay, did NO-ONE see the SUV bit, or did everyone just ignore it?
I like the premise. Keep it up
“bigger odds” ages it sound like they had better odds I think you mean “worse odds”.
Ok two things
1) “multiple surpluses” doesn't make sense I’d try “a surplus of it for the trip.”
2) that still doesn't make sense considering how much they would have used it would have been better just to explain that they were using a dispenser, considering I’m pretty sure the dispenser takes particles from the air to make ammo and metal,
congrats you made this make sense while keeping everyone in character.
I kinda like what your doing but he seems too much like a mix of snipers weapons and hevys health right now, he needs something truly unique suggestions would be
1) Primary-the Lava Launcher- it would be filled with sand or gravel that would be heat by spikes firebreath and would shoot a projectile ball of lava at enemies similar to the Loose Cannon except instead of exploding after a set amount of time it would either explode on enemies and set them on fire continuously so it couldn't be put out before it burns itself out or while shot at the ground it creates a pool of lava that sets enyone who walks on it on fire.
2) Secondary/Medi Gems- a handful of lab grown gems with some of the medics uber beam trapped inside making it so when he eats them he heals a bit and movies a bit faster.
3)The Trident- In the comics he had a trident while fighting off a giant mutant cockatrice, so I thought why not give it the range of a sword and give him the ability to throw it as a projectile that causes bleed.
If he was taught how to use a gun at seventeen then how did he kill the deer at sixteen?
I’ll admit I've never seen spike as a “numbers man” but it makes perfect sense considering his upbringing.
Okay I'm not going to lie, for the first two chapters and half of this one, I thought you meant Red team as in Red vs Blue.
8723511
Thanks! I thought so too.
Weird not wierd.
8723447
Thank you for your points and kind tone, and allow me to make a rebuttal, please.
I now realize I didn't explain this well enough, but I intended him to function like a cross between Heavy and Sniper with Pyro's speed and Demo's health, though your Medicine-gem weapon idea might make a good tertiary weapon,
Also, Hunting does not always involve guns, you know, and it is explained later on in the same chapter that they weren't sapient deer, but killing an animal is still taking a life.
Oh, and by 'multiple Surpluses' I had it in my head that it would be interpreted as many, MANY dispenser refills, and I didn't make that clear either
8723338
YES, MOUSTACHE!
8723863
still everyone has something unique and while being well rounded is a good thing I still think he should have something exclusively for him as an option, that and the trident doesn't get enough love I mean look at this camo.derpicdn.net/46a59af112839acf558261f50dea1cc6495371e9?url=http%3A%2F%2Foi48.tinypic.com%2F2e4de7k.jpg thats like one of the THREE pics I fould while looking it up, though I found one peace of fan art pre00.deviantart.net/7574/th/pre/i/2013/252/4/7/battle_of_canterlot_by_dutchgirl626-d6lnmt4.jpg https://dutchgirl626.deviantart.com/art/Battle-of-Canterlot-399171640
Admittedly I couldn't even sell myself on the lava launcher but I couldn't think of anything else.
I know it wasn't sapient I was just wondering if they taught him to use a bow before that or if that was just an inconsistency/mistake.
8723863
Though I really want to think of a “specialty” item for him sniper, soldier, and the pyro have banners/jetpacks, heavy has the food items, demo has shields, scout has the soda, spy has the deadringer, medic has anything other than the stock medigun, and engi has the wrangler, gunslinger AND the short circuit. Each has a weapon that completely changes there options and abilities during battle and I feel like spike needs something equally out of left field. Maybe instead of the gems healing anyone else spike can throw them and anyone who picks them up will minicrit for their next shot I mean there essence pure energy in a gem so shooting them out of a gunbarrel would probably do extra damage.
8723992
This is why his primary is a machine gun, and his secondary is a combat rifle. Inspiration from his family figures, but still his own.
March here! We need more chapters!
I love this
I’m looking forward to the Teufort Ten spy-checking Chrysalis.
8861145
THANK YOU!
8863730 You’re welcome. I’m especially looking forward to Chrysalis being found out by Jarate.
8863808
Nah.
Piss Rifle.
8865886 You mean the Sydney Sleeper?
8866714
Yep
I cant wait for the next update
9040022
Might be a while... my computer broke. I'm writing this on my parent's
9041891
Well as a wise man once said "to turn cole into a diamond you just gotta wait"
Please keep working on it great AU.
this is good story please continue!
Is this getting an update?
update?
This is such a cool crossover but needs more hats.
Update?