Rainbow Rain, daughter of Rainbow Dash and Soarin Skies, finds herself in a tough spot when she realizes she can't show up at her presentation with her mane as she usually haves it.
However, Aunt Rarity is out of town, and her mother has never been actually good with manestyles. Rainbow Dash can handle simple ponytails and braids, but the complicated manestyle Rainy needs it's out of her league —like, totally!
Desesperate because the play's happening in an hour, Rainy finds the help she seeks in the last pony she expected it of: noneless than her father, Soarin Skies.
I had this idea going around my mind for a while now, and I thought it was cute. Hope you enjoy!
Awwww!
8753126
Oh, thank you for pointing that out I'll correct it.
A few grammatical errors, here and there, but nothing absolutely bothering I think, sometimes, it would give a better effect if you cut some of your paragraphs. Keep that in mind: one idea=one paragraph.
That apart...
The characterization is very good! With a few lines and a few attitude, we could have a clear view of each of the foals' personnalities and it was rather easy to guess who was the foal of who. Nice job with it!
I also like the way you presented the family's daily life. And the story, of course, was adorable, I read it all with a big smile on, like this
You should definitely do that blog post!
8753739
Thank you for the advice! I'm very glad you liked it
First, the "mean" thing... Still that same little problem: when you use simple past and the auxiliary "do", it's the auxiliary "do" that takes the mark of the simple past. Like in:
it should be this : "[...]and didn't hesitate to make me [...]". But I haven't seen any other mispelling or grammatical errors which makes it better than any of my stories, long or short
Now, as for this little addition in itself... IT WAS SO DAMN CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE Makes me want to hug Rainbow Rain like she was a plushie And to picture Soarin and her practicing braids on Dashie, it's really, really, really cute too. I like it very much. Take a green thumb for that
9168414
AGH AGH WHY CAN'T I GET THAT THING ON MY SKULL Already corrected it, but oh my gosh, whyyyy. It's so embarrassing Thank you a lot for reminding me that ONCE AGAIN because I always forget
And thank you!
Aww, SoarinDash
This was such a cute read. Yeah, some spelling errors, but you turned a rather simple concept into a beautifully written story. Thumbs up from me
esmerald Think you meant emerald
Blue bondi fur [body ] ????
I practice braiding on my mom’s hair too lol