• Member Since 28th May, 2014
  • offline last seen 21 minutes ago

ShadowblazeCR


As a writer you ask yourself to dream while you're awake. As an editor you ask yourself how to change a story while leaving it the same.

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Starlight gets in an argument with Rainbow Dash on what qualifies as a Pegasus. This leads her to trying out for the Wonderbolts.


Submission for Wonderbolts Site Contest


Featured on 4/28/24!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 24 )

Great short story. I do hope you show more with AJ.

I freakin' love your characterisation of Spitfire here. I was reading her lines in Metzger's voice.

Dashie is a bit tougher though - the friggin show writers struggle with her.

Writing was sound too

But while the concept was fun and the hook was lethal, I defy anypony not to click on this fic :rainbowwild: the delivery wasn't quite at the same level. It had its moments, for sure, though. Worth a t-up.

Kiper #3 · 2 weeks ago · · ·

About to read just because of the chapter title. I read it in her voice.

Now Starlight is the second non-Pegasus among the Wonderbolts

Lovely story, I quite like how you portrayed both Starlight and Rainbow. Starlight looking for loopholes to prove a point seems really fitting. For Rainbow, I like her reaction at the very end, as despite her competitiveness, she is the friendly kind of jock that just celebrates feats of awesomeness. So her not being a sore loser is a nice touch.
The one thing I found noticeable was that multiple characters calling Rainbow "Dashie", as that's really only something Pinkie does, so it seemed a bit weird to me. That's especially true for Spitfire, who would use "Crash" when not saying her normal name. But that's only a minor gripe, good story otherwise.

This is a fun story

Granted, a floating, purple-tinged magic enveloped unicorn in the middle of a group of pegasi wasn't exactly conspicuous.

I think you mean inconspicuous.

surprised this hasnt been done years ago when the episode of starlight flying like that first happened

PiMan #9 · 1 week ago · · ·

Pssh, you might have feathers and four legs, but you can't fly Star.

Where'd she get the feathers from?

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She stole them from Owlowlicious.

"Pssh, you might have fur and four legs, but you can't fly Star. Unless you get to be the Princess of...I dunno, PEMDAS with all that equal sign stuff you had going on." Rainbow Dash did a few more spins and skidded to a halt next to her.

That's FOUL.


(This was short and hilarious. I love it.)

Hey starlight
Did you know? You aren't the first non pegasus pony to try for the wonderbolt and Basically get accepted
Infact they were an earth pony

"Sweet Celestia, Starlight! That was seventy-one push-ups! You maxed the test! That's...actually, how are you? Sorry, I should've asked that first."

Ah that's it, cute.

Anyways, this was a brilliant story and you nailed Starlight's personality throughout. These are the types of stories that I really enjoy because it utilizes the character's strengths in their personalities allowing shenanigans to ensue. I hope this goes far in the contest because it definitely deserves all the praise and allocates. Bravo!

Mica #14 · 1 week ago · · ·

"It's like that old saying too! If they've got feathers and are quadpedal-"

"Quadrupedal."

"-and fly, then they are a true Pegasus."

cries in Scootaloo

This was a fun read. Wish we could have seen more of Starlight's self-levitation in the show.

I liked the story.

Not beating those Mary Sue allegations anytime soon.

I wouldn't be surprised if Starlight's mentality in this about unicorn supremacy (doing anything any of the other tribes can do) is partly what leads to the G5 tribe split.

Starlight inspires other unicorns to start branching out, and unicorns start muscling into job placements of other tribes. Literally a, "They took our jobs!" situation.

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as much as starlights can be seen as a mary sue in the og series i'd say she's handled pretty well here

obviously she's op af but it goes into great detail about the amount of preparation/planning she had to do for everything, and how she still isn't able to do some things exactly or as well as a pegasus could

That was enjoyable. It shows Star's dedication to an objective and her creativity when it comes to problem solving. It also shows that despite how much of a braggart Dash can be she can also admit when she is wrong or has lost. I also see a bit of Star's obsessiveness right there at the end. Honestly I think this could be a real episode.

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and how she still isn't able to do some things exactly or as well as a pegasus could

I was curious if anybody would have caught that tidbit. When I was bullet-pointing everything, I initially was deciding on whether she would make the team or not. And since I usually try to add as many first or second hand “isms” that I’ve learned, I thought this would be a good one too.

See, my dad was in the Ranger battalion back in the day, and once laid out the pyramid of special operations for me. Ragged on the Green Berets and Marsoc/Recon a bit, talked about what Tier 1 was and how what he did was in what tiers.

And when I asked the difference between Delta and the Rangers, he said in reference to Delta: “they’re just looking for a certain type of person”. Which meant at the end of the day, no matter how high speed you are and how much you train, the top of the top are looking for “that guy” and you might not be it. Though, that doesn’t mean you can’t be utilized elsewhere with them.

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i mean the part about not being the right person was kinda in-your-face (since you just straight up said it), i meant it more like how the story also detailed how she wasnt exactly as accurate or precise as the other pegasi.

but yeah the points about still having a place SOMEWHERE on the team (with her magic display) applies as well. all of the things work together seamlessly to make it a nice story without glazing starlight anymore than needed

Sweet! This story definitely captured Starlight's personality and determination to overcome the impossible!

Loved this story! Felt almost like an episode of the show. :rainbowlaugh:

It's like that old saying too! If they've got feathers and are quadpedal-"

"Pssh, you might have fur and four legs, but you can't fly Star.

Uh... why it changed from feathers to fur?

It's like that old saying too! If they've got feathers and are quadpedal-"

"Pssh, you might have fur and four legs, but you can't fly Star.

Uh... why it changed from feathers to fur?

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