• Member Since 14th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

CategoricalGrant


"I haven't seen a bigger waste of talent since Dan Marino." -Lucky Seven; Want to support me?

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Princess Celestia serves in the Cleveland Police Department as part of a cultural exchange program between law enforcement on earth and in Equestria. During her performance review, however, she is politely informed that policing on earth is a lot different than it is back home.

And then, of course, there's what's happening on the Equestrian side of the program's equation...

Cover art by Dispelimagines on Deviantart.

EDIT: Featured 3/13/18! All right!
EDIT: Featured at #1 same day! I’m so glad you all enjoy!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 42 )

“...Do you wanna go cuddle the intoxicated drivers in the cells downstairs?"

This is not a sentence I ever expected to read in my lifetime, but I'm glad it exists!

I do not wanna visit Equestria right now

Definitely chuckleworthy. +1

I'm not ashamed to admit that I laughed myself to tears more than once through this hot mess of awesomeness.

Bullshit, someone would have shot Pinkie Pie for assaulting an officer.

LIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

*Reads name.*

*Re-reads name to be sure that was right.*

...

Well, can't fault the premise for lacking originality, at least.

*Starts actually reading.*

8793628

8793475

ell oh freakin' ell.

Fun story, though.

Now that there’s a Celestia cop AU, and since I wrote a popular doctor Twilight AU, can the fandom please agree that there seriously needs to be an overly excited firefighter Luna AU soon? In all seriousness, though, I am definitely reading this as soon as possible.

(Also, someday, I’d like to write a baby cop story, non-AU, where Scootaloo gets one of those cheap “police” lights and sticks it on her scooter. And maybe solves a few incredibly smaller crimes in the process. Don’t know why I haven’t written it already, honestly.)

8793697

(Also, someday, I’d like to write a baby cop story, non-AU, where Scootaloo gets one of those cheap “police” lights and sticks it on her scooter. And maybe solves a few incredibly smaller crimes in the process. Don’t know why I haven’t written it already, honestly.)

Could also do a comedy where she gets arrested for impersonating a peace officer.

8793678

I don't know about that. Apply enough explosives to something and it solves the problem.

And trust me, Human cops are more then willing to toss explosives at a problem.

8793757

Yes, and she should also be the avatar of Chaos and invincible to mind control, however... Discord disproved both of those.

This gave me a laugh, good job sir :rainbowlaugh:

Immediately, fifty-thousand volts ran through Pinkie’s hoof and into the police officer, who seized under the current and collapsed on the ground.

media.giphy.com/media/hokMyu1PAKfJK/giphy.gif

8793774
technically Discord only showed she was susceptible to manipulation, Fluttershy was the one who mind-controlled.

8794051
Have you heard the tale of Pinkie Pie the Wise? I thought not, it isn’t a story that Twilight would tell you...

I lost it at 'Wowza Powza Yowza'. :rainbowlaugh:

"Also, you need to unpetrify that guy that raped that prostitute."

"Oh, I will...in around one-thousand days or so."

No, NO! NOT IN CLASS!! I'M GONNA LAUGH MY PANTS OFF!!

Can we please get a sequel to this?

8796095
If I think of a good enough premise, I’ll for sure write one

Comment posted by Shenzy deleted Mar 15th, 2018

We need moar. No buts, no ands, no ifs. WE NEED MOAR!

A cop with PTSD pulls over a carriage and pulls the trigger on the driver because they blinked.

Cops fucking SUCK these days.

8797012
I've been in Cleveland the past four years, and they seem to have developed a habit of shooting unarmed black youth and just generally being a nuisance

8797014 I dont know why you didnt have the cop pull out his gun instead. they always go for the gun.

Her eyes widening, Celestia pursed her lips in a concerned fashion. “ Believe me, cocaine is most definitely a No-no .”

Hahahaha ok, I give up XD
Cuff me. I can't no more!

Sentence: faved on lifetime.

Ps. I thought upon reading the tiltle you ran out of ways to write clop or molestia.
Actually it still turned out bad, in a good way.

Awww Celestia was so cute and sweet! :heart:

This can't be it please. I'm laughing so hard right now on both sides. I can just see something happening while Celestia is over there forcing her to take the Earth cop teachings to heart. Then they'll really have a problem.

This was an awesome well written story!!! :pinkiehappy: I like how in tune the characters are. It feels like something straight out of a show, let alone then just a simple tale. I hope you might consider revisiting and making a plausible sequel in the future? :twilightsheepish: Either way, great job again. :twilightsmile:

8907981
I'm super glad you liked it! I am definitely open to making a sequel if inspiration strikes :3

8908383
Alright! :pinkiehappy: Again, I thought it was real cute and original. It feels a bit fitting how hard celestia tries to be on the right side of the law and being too darn oblivious and innocent in her duties. While her partner on the other hand tries to show her the dark, seedy, realistic side of the law. Yep, definitely 'good' cop and 'bad' cop sides and attitude. Also, a bit classic retro seventies in a tiny sense some too. :rainbowlaugh: Again, great job on it. I look forward to many more Coplestia in the future! :twilightsmile:

8793697
I've decided to put my poor writing skills and firefighting experience to overly excited Luna Firefighter. Don't expect anything good.

9031919

Anything's cool by me, since I'd almost forgotten about it in the first place. Glad you put the idea to good use! Have fun writing it!

Celestia is best cop! But yeah, doing community out reach events is likely the best spot for her.

Now I want to see Celestial try to arrest Terry from Reno 911. :rainbowlaugh:

9186999
Terry, the good people here at Tacos Tacos Tacos Tacos are just trying to have a meal!

9187085
He has superpowers, all over his body...

“...What on earth is ‘Strong Female Role Model’, anyway?”

Groan. Really?!

Here, take your upvote. You punning bastard.

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