You hop from hoof to hoof excitedly as you wait for the Wonderbolts to enter the stadium’s locker room. An old friend had unloaded VIP tickets to everypony’s favorite flying team onto you (for a very reasonable price), and you had never been more psyched to see a flying show.
You suck in a tight breath as the team trots into the room. Vaguely, you’re aware that the others with VIP tickets are murmuring excitedly behind you, but you let the noise fade into nothingness.
Your eyes flicker excitedly to and from each passing member as they come down the concrete ramp: Misty Fly, Silver Zoom, Surprise, Soarin’, Rapidfire… The very ponies you had been gushing over for years as a fan. You had been told that you’d only have about five minutes to speak who you wanted before you and the rest of the VIP ticket crowd would be ushered out. The team had to attend to their business, after all.
Still, you couldn’t think of who you wanted to talk to most. Deciding to late fate take you where it willed, you took a single step forward toward the mob of athletes.
“Hey!” a raspy voice calls. “I recognize you from Ponyville!”
You look to your left to see another small group of Wonderbolts coming down the ramp into the locker room, a rainbow-maned mare leading them. Despite the suit covering her body, you know exactly who she is.
The mare stops in front of you, taking her goggles off of her eyes and placing them around her head. She squints slightly as she takes a look at you. “Yup, I’ve definitely seen you before. Name’s Rainbow Dash!”
You of course know who she is. She’s been on the Wonderbolts for less time than some of her teammates, but then again, who cares!? She actually recognized you!
What in Equestria are you going to talk to her about, though?
To babble incoherently like the gushing Wonderbolts fan that you are, proceed to Chapter 1.
To play it totally cool with her, proceed to Chapter 2.
To ignore her (because mares totally dig it when you act like you don’t care) proceed to Chapter 3.
To *instantly* begin hitting on Rainbow Dash, proceed to Chapter 4.
This is going to be in the featured box, mark my words.
Definitely not the sort of story you can publish without being very good at writing, and considering it was featured I have high hopes for it. I only have one minor gripe with it, xD I suppose you may have had one specific vision for the story but since by the design the protagonist seems to be blank slate made to reflect the reader I suspect you'll be alienating the portion of readers who are girls that may enjoy the story but are put off by playing as a male. I mean the writing does reflect attention to gender-neutral pronouns but Dash makes it pretty clear your character is male xD. Of course, going back to edit so many chapters just to be accessible would be a hassle and you don't need to do anything. But I think it would help if Dash would avoid pronouns that bring attention to our gender.
Beyond that it looks great and I commend the work you put into it, I'm excited to start reading it.
PS: I've only read two chapters so assuming that isn't true and the story does avoid that feel free to ignore the comment. Cheers.
8910709
Heya and thanks for the comment!
The character is meant to reflect the reader, but by design a few male pronouns get in (it would be really tiresome to only use 'special somepony', or have her never refer to you with others in a specific way, etc.). I went with male for a couple of reasons, not least of which is the fact that most readers are probably indeed male.
All others can use their imagination in whatever context they'd like
If you know me from school, OBVIOUSLY I am going with A because, well, I babble incoherently all the time.
personally i hate it if characters act (main chars or Rainbow Dash in romance stories with as wonderbolt), so I`m not going to choose that.
2 or 3 it is for me.
...Number 1.
Go big or go home. 4 for me!
Considering that Chapter 2 would be how I usually act around famous people - just kind of quiet, maybe making some small talk - I'll go with that one.
How my character wanted to say it: Chapter 2
How it actually came out: Chapter 1
Wow! Four choices at once! This definitely shows, just how serious this CYOA is! Mediocre ones provide just two choices, oftentimes the both of them stupid ...
"let fate take"?