Princess Ocellus

by Creativa-Artly01

So, Why Chrysalis???

It's the day after the Young Six's adventure with their fears orchestrated by the Tree of Harmony. Everyone is talking about their experiences. That's when the question arises. "Ocellus, why did you turn into Chrysalis?"

"Other than the fact I fear I can't change," responds Ocellus, "it's because I'm her daughter. I was next in line for the throne before the hive turned good."

"Ooh, tell more," responds Yona excitedly.

"Okay," sighs Ocellus. "I guess you have the right to know. I was born in one of Chrysalis's later swarms of grubs but even then, she saw something different about me. She then took me personally and started to raise me in her bug steps. She taught me how to be a royal. She took me on private hunts and taught me how to transform into ponies, especially the royals. If I were to be queen someday, I'd need to know how to replace any of the five princesses, well, four at the time, I guess."

In her head, Ocellus flashes back to those days. "Ocellus," yells the queen, "time for more training!"

"Yes, mother," responds Ocellus. She then goes with Chrysalis into a back room and they practice transformations and feasting off the love of a manticore cub to teach Ocellus how to drain love. The last thing she wants is to be disapproved of by the queen.

"Ocellus?" says Sandbar, "snap out of it and continue the story."

"Oh, sorry," responds Ocellus. "As I was saying before I got side tracked, Chrysalis basically raised me to be just like her. My first lessons were feeding off the love of small animals such as manticore cubs, squirrels, chipmunks, but never other changelings. That was a huge no no. I grew up thinking that draining love was okay, that it was right. Turns out, it wasn't."

"Well, that must've been a hard childhood," says Silver Stream.

"Well, yeah, looking back on it now, but back then, it was all just normal," responds Ocellus. "After months of training, Chrysalis gave me my first royal duty. She had me go out on a hunting expedition with two guards and their captain. We drained the love of ponies that day, me for the first time. I was so proud of myself. I then returned to the hive and the queen congratulated me on my success. She then took me on a personal hunt with her and her captain. We impersonated ponies and stole the love of other ponies, grown ponies this time around. When I went with the guards, we only sucked off fillies."

"Ooh, when did Thorax first rebel against the Queen?" asks Yona.

"Not long after I got my crown," responds Ocellus, "and it continued for months. When he first brought ponies into the hive and a draconequus into the hive, he finally displayed his love and transformed. Me, seeing that, was inspired and with Chrysalis gone, I decided to transform. Thorax then took me in as his adopted daughter. My princess title was in tact, this time though, it was alongside Thorax. He then sent me here to learn to adapt to living alongside other creatures and not use my abilities in excess. Everything's been so much better. You guys are so nice. I'm so glad we're friends."

"As are we," respond the rest of them.

"Just curious," asks Gallus with a snark, "what else did the Queen have you do as princess? Ya know, before Thorax's rebellion."

"Help with the guard, sit on the throne, help plan the attack on Canterlot, plan the overtaking of Equestria, all of it," responds Ocellus. "Some of it was more stressful than other things. It was all just normal for me back then though. All the planning was normal, all the draining love was normal. Nothing seemed off until Thorax came around and was like, 'share love, don't steal love.' That put everything in perspective. I'm so glad I'm no longer evil. I'm so grateful I'm no longer living under Chrysalis's demands and all her anger fits scared me. Here, I feel like I belong now and it's the best feeling in the world."

"Wow," says Sandbar, "that really is impressive."

"For sure!" adds Silver Stream.

"So inspiring," adds Smoulder, "I have to admit."

"As do I," responds Gallus. "I bet that was a hard childhood."

"Like I said earlier," responds Ocellus, "it was normal. Looking back, though, yeah it was rough." Ocellus's mind wanders back to Thorax's rebellion.

"Thorax, give her all of it!" hollers Starlight.

Ocellus, looking from behind Chrysalis's throne. "Oh no," she gasps.

Thorax's love then bursts out his chest and sends Chrysalis flying, Ocellus barely escaping. She then watches all the changelings change around her and soon, she finds herself doing the same, inspired by their standing up to her mother. "I can't believe it," sighs Ocellus, "I'm finally free from mom's iron hoof." She then flies out and lands in front of Thorax.

"Thorax," whispers Ocellus sweetly, "I want to change. I don't want to be blackened in record by all Chrysalis had me do for her."

"Well, I'll teach you how to rule properly, my child," responds Thorax with a smile. "You'll still be a princess, just a new kind of princess."

"Thanks, Thorax!" responds Ocellus giving him a great big hug. "I can't wait to learn everything!"

"A few months later, the school opens and Thorax asks me if I want to go and I jump at the chance," says Ocellus, now back in the current story stream. "The following day, I came and we met all the other species and their prospective students. It was the coolest thing ever. That's how I first met y'all. Smolder, I met you first. I remember that. Now, that I'm here, I'm learning to rule properly from Thorax on weekends and go here during the week. It's not a normal set up but it works. I never plan on turning back to who I used to be. It's too dark, too messed up, and I want to forget it ever happened. Someday I'll learn to fully let go of my past, but right now, I'll get over it bit by bit, Celestia willing and that's all that matters."

"Wow!" respond the rest of them. "Well, we're glad you're getting over it."

"Me too," responds Ocellus as her friends gather around her and give her a great big hug. She's so glad to be appreciated. That's all she ever wanted: to be loved by friends who can see that she's changed for the better and hopefully, for good.

Comments

[Yutah123]

You know, I think that italiciczing the flashback scenes will make this better.

[Godslittleprincess]

One thing confuses me though. If she's Thorax's adopted daughter, then who was that family that she was celebrating Changeling Hearth's Warming with in "The Hearth's Warming Club"?

[Creativa-Artly01]

9193728
My thoughts, it's still her family, she was adopted as a second royal, not as a daughter necessarily. Besides, this is meant to be a playful, head canon sort of story. Loosen up.

[The Devious Writer]

9193816
Jesus Christ you’re the one that needs to loosen up. Just immediately flipped out there.

[Creativa-Artly01]

9193993
Sorry. I didn't mean to get all shouty on the other guy. She just ticked me off a smidge. I mean, technically, aren't all changelings part of the same big unit. That's what I was trying to shoot for at least.

[WingKnight]

I was hoping someone else would stat something as to why ocellus turned into chrysalis.

[Mirror Star]

This was good.

[Rockstar_Raccoon]

This was bad. It was really poorly written, like, I can't picture anyone talking that way. I get that you were dumping an idea, and that's fine, but I suggested that, if you want people to actually enjoy your weird ideas like this, you work on your framing and dialogue. As it stands, this was just a mess of Ocellus randomly going into a monologue and the others randomly nodding along. Also, that's not how Thorax talks, at all...

Anyway, not a bad concept, and you could probably go somewhere with it, but your writing needs significant improvement.

[Creativa-Artly01]

9333630
Dude. I respect that opinion, but everyone else seems to like it. Just wanna point that out. Look at the numbers above the story: mostly likes.

[Matthais Unidostres]

9333630
You need to be careful with how you frame your criticism. Technically, your criticisms are valid, but you phrased them in a very rude way. Don't call it bad. Instead, just explain how the dialogue is flawed and needs fixing. Also, writing this story off as a weird idea was very rude. Any idea can be good if executed properly. Don't write it off as weird and bad just because you didn't like it. Don't be a jerk.

[Rockstar_Raccoon]

9333892
9335208
Yeah, I'm usually better about framing things like that. I just couldn't think of any specific complaint other than that things were poorly done. Sorry if it's coming off as harsh, I just I think the writing could be significantly improved upon.

And, for the record, 32 likes isn't that impressive for a story with over 800 views. That means that, of the 800+ people who took the time to read this story, only 3.5% of them clicked the like button. That's not something you should be hiding behind.

Once again, I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to tell you that your writing has room for improvement, I'm just having trouble figuring out exactly what to tell you to work on.

[Thestral]

Hey, you can read it in Russian
https://ponyfiction.org/story/14887/