An Offer You Can't Refuse

CuriousCurse #1 · Oct 3rd, 2018 · 5 · ·

I don't mind other people having fetishes I don't, and I don't intend to down vote this, but i really wish i had a way to hide stories i wasn't interested in even if only temporarily until it leaves the feature/new/updated/popular lists. It looks like something i would read until i read the tags. Thanks for sparing me that little ambush by the way.

Sexy Ends

Sexy Ends #2 · Oct 3rd, 2018 · 4 · ·

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9208815
No problem. I see content warnings as a way to tell you not to read if you don't like it.

Still doesn't stop all these downvoters though. 😆 They think downvoting these makes me sad. I know these kinds of stories tend to not be liked except by the niche crew anyway. I don't mind that.

Withania

Withania #3 · Oct 3rd, 2018 · 1 · ·

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Thumbs up, needs a bit more detail at the actual CV moment, but over all great read, and bonus points for having the full before, during, and after :)

Sexy Ends

Sexy Ends #4 · Oct 3rd, 2018 · 3 · ·

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9209116
More detail. Got it!

ChronoTheChangeling

ChronoTheChangeling #5 · Oct 4th, 2018 · 2 · ·

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Loved it and I love seeing rarity acting this way.

ScarletRibbon

ScarletRibbon #6 · Oct 4th, 2018 · 1 · ·

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9209116
I pretty much second this. The pacing is just a tad too quick, but I absolutely am looking forward to whatever you might put out next. You've got some potential here, and there's a sad lack of good vore content on this site.

New Fossil Studios

New Fossil Studios #7 · Oct 6th, 2018 · · 3 ·

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Okay, so I know that not only is this a fetish story, but it is also your first story that I have seen, but that won't stop me from pointing out some flaws in this little story.

The transaction from being surprised to wanting to be turned into cum is a bit too fast, even if the character was horny. It really doesn't take more than a few sentences before the character decides he wanted to die. Now, I get that this is a one-shot, a fetish story, and your first story posted here, but pacing is something that needs to be considered and handled delicately. But it is rather impressive when put besides other first stories, mine included.

The vocabulary words used in this story is too short, not enough words that really grabs the reader in and wants him to keep on reading. Now that's not to say that the words used in this story makes it a garbage read, the exact opposite to be honest, but it can improved upon. My suggestion is to have the Merriam Webster website open so you can look at some synonyms for words.

Now this last one is more of a little nitpick than anything and can be ignored, but this is something I see many Vore stories, and even myself ignored once. Bu what is the result of the main 6 being churned into cum? Like, there has to be aftereffects, like The Sweet Apple Acres, they're pretty handicapped as is, and without Applejack, things are bound to get hairy. What about Fluttershy, was Ponyville's main source of information when it came to animals , so what'll happen when some rapid animal just comes and ravages Ponyville, they'll be lost, without her and won't know how to deal with the animal without killing it. And Rainbow Dash, she was the Weather Factories best pony, and in case of a storm that could wipe out Ponyville, they'll need everyone they could get. All of these questions are pretty pointless to answer if a fetish story is everything you wanted to write, so ignore this last bit.

But overall, it's a good story and I wish you best of luck with it as I know those who don't like vore can be pretty terrifying to encounter. And I know where you got that picture.

Alondro

Alondro #8 · Oct 13th, 2018 · 1 · 4 ·

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9209137 I would also add points that are relevant, since there's a 'bigger picture' to the world behind this story: why does Rarity suddenly have a penis and this bizarre ability? Why do the rest of the Mane 6 so willingly and eagerly agree to die? Why is Rarity, the Bearer of Generosity, so eagerly and selfishly end all their lives without a second thought?

Consider those questions, come up with answers that all fit together... and suddenly a fairly carbon-copy fetish fic becomes a real story.

Sexy Ends

Sexy Ends #9 · Oct 13th, 2018 · 2 · ·

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9227763
In the end, I honestly don't think that I could make a 'real' story out of this. My goal is simply to make the voraphiles here fap to fatal vore.

If a deeper meaning for why a vore scene is happening is what you're looking for though, I'm fairly sure that my next fic would probably work better in terms of plot.

Alondro

Alondro #10 · Oct 14th, 2018 · · 1 ·

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9228337 Heh, I'm kinda over and done with the basic fetish stuff. I prefer either something with at least a little narrative gravitas, or some intricate and mood-enhancing expositional tricks.

Absentia 616