Vaxine

by WhatDidIJustRead

The lethal injection

Leftie Loosey hummed as she made her way home from school. It was an inner-city school of Manehattan, and so it never taught her the importance of doing your own research on social media or the power of speaking to managers. As some kind of divine punishment for her ignorance, there happened to be a poorly-painted sign leaning against a dumpster in an alley along her route. It showed an arrow pointing at a rusty door across the alley, and it said "VAXINES" in large, white, dripping letters.

"Seems reasonable," she said, nodding her empty head. She pressed the door open with one hoof and stepped into a dingy little room lit by bulbs as dim as her own, if you know what I mean. The room also had no carpet, reeked of mareijuana, and was decorated with ugly piercings.

A large pony with tattoos and a sidearm scowled at her. "You want vaccine?" he asked. She nodded with a small smile. "Good. Soon, will not be choice. Better to do now." He knocked on a heavy door three times, yelling something in a language Leftie Loosey didn't recognize.

The door creaked open slowly, revealing a dried mushroom of a pony wearing thick glasses and a coffee-stained lab coat. "Hello," the doctor rasped in a voice corroded over time by harsh industrial chemicals. "Come in, come in! Quickly!"

"Okay," the mare said sheepishly. That is, like an actual sheep, not in a shy kind of way. "Sick pad you got here."

"Mm, yes, indeed," the doctor said as he leaned his weight against the heavy door to close it. He slid an iron bar into place, locking it. "Now, please set your things on the table, there."

Leftie Loosey set her bag where he had indicated. It contained many textbooks full of lies and propaganda that had ultimately brought her to this place.

"Sit down, please," the doctor continued. His breath had quickened, as though he were about to sniff a pretty mare's mane.

The chair in the center of the room was some kind of modified hospital bed, bent into a chairlike shape and outfitted with leather straps. Leftie Loosey hoped they were faux leather, for she could not stand the thought of an animal suffering, even if it meant ponies suffering. She was a vegan, by the way.

She lay down on the chair, happy to finally be making her own decisions despite her parents knowing better. Their warnings echoed through the caverns of her mind, but she mentally shrugged them off, because her friends had told her that her parents were "uptight dickwads".

"Ssssooooo," the doctor hissed, "what kinds of vaccines would you like? We offer everything from West Neighl Virus to the Saddle Sores."

"How much do they cost?" she asked. Unfortunately, she had spent most of her money on drugs, so she was broke, despite not paying her rent or giving her parents money she had owed them for years now, but they trusted her every time she said she'd get it to them next month.

"Oh, no, no, no. No charge. This is funded by the Manehattan government!"

"Sweet!" she exclaimed. "Thanks, taxpayers!" Leftie Loosey laughed cruelly at the working ponies that were unknowingly supporting her poor decision. After all, she was a freelance artist, and did not report her income to the ERS, because it was none of their business anyway. She also made below minimum wage, because she refused to get a second job to be able to move out from her parents' house.

As the doctor tightened the straps to hold his patient down, he mumbled a prayer to the nature goddesses that he worshipped, earning a smile from Leftie Loosey. Her parents were strict Celestians, and would not let her worship any false gods. But, false or not, they seemed fun, and she had always wanted to try it, despite their warnings.

"So, I see you're still in school," the doctor said between teeth yellowed and pitted and cracked. "How's that going?"

"Good! Today, we learned about the dangers of clopitalism, and how being fair and balanced is actually evil. My parents told me that they actually used to be able to keep more than ten percent of their wages!"

"Parents?"

Leftie Loosey sighed, and if her head wasn't strapped down, she would have hung it in shame. "Yeah. They're both straight and still married. My friends at school give me a really hard time about it."

"As they should. Have you considered running away from home?"

"My teachers suggested the same thing, but Mom and Dad work really hard for me."

The doctor quirked an eyebrow.

Leftie Loosey quickly continued. "I mean they still have some money I can leech from them until I'm done with school."

The doctor nodded knowingly. "School is very important. You must always listen to your teachers and believe what you read in your science and history textbooks, and don't let your parents tell you any differently." He sucked in a breath of stale air as he tightened a strap and secured it. "Anyway, looks like you're all strapped in."

The young mare could feel hairs on her neck standing up in excitement as the doctor produced a syringe full of bubbling green liquid. It looked like there was some kind of small piece of metal inside it as well.

"Is it true that vaccines are made from aborted foals?" Leftie Loosey asked.

"Yes, but only fresh ones will suffice. So, that's why we mandated that foals in schools are not taught abstinence, so that we can keep a steady supply." He pressed the plunger slightly, forming a droplet at the tip of the needle that immediately sizzled away into a noxious wisp of smoke. "This is going to hurt a lot."

That was fine for Leftie Loosey. She was willing to do anything to go against her parents' wishes. She nodded.

The initial poke into her right foreleg wasn't too bad. Then, as the vile mix of deceased foals, industrial-grade cleaners, rat poison, and radioactive mercury entered her veins, her muscles seized up. A moment of panic came over her, and some part of her wanted to take it all back. To ask him to stop. Step back into the alley and return home to parents who loved her enough to stay together even though they no longer got along with each other. But the idea of how upset they would be reassured her.

The doctor's crooked smile floated above her, and his eyes bugged out with some twisted kind of satisfaction as the toxic cocktail worked its way further into her body. The pain made her grit her teeth and groan. Soon, her entire body was convulsing, pulling at the hopefully-faux-leather straps. White foam bubbled out of her mouth, and she could faintly hear herself making noises that she never knew she could make—some kind of horrifying mix of choking and screaming. Her body tried to curl up into a ball, but the restraints kept her splayed out like a dead frog ready for dissection.

Soon, however, her body calmed down as it accepted its impending death. Muscles relaxed, her lungs expelled air for the final time, and her eye lids slid half-shut, darkening the room to a dreamlike blur.

"How unfortunate," the doctor said, his voice far away and tinny. She could hear him unlock the door and open it. "Clobber! Get in here."

"Yes, doctor?"

"This one's not going to make it. But, eh, this time, mark it down as a success, yeah?"

"But she is dead?" Clobber asked.

"Yes, well, dead ponies can't get sick, right? So, the vaccination still worked."

"Ah, yes, very good."

Their voices became low, and they faded until Leftie Loosey could hear nothing. A few weak beats of her dying heart were all she could feel until it, too, stopped.

In her final moments, she pictured her mom and dad crying. Not for her body, but for her soul, which would not be joining them on the sun with Celestia, but would be condemned to an eternity on the moon.

Comments

[TheKissoftheVoid]

Jack Chick. . . Well there’s a name I never thought I’d see referenced on fimfic. Have a like just for that.

[Hopeful_Ink_Hoof]

I get that this is supposed to be satire but... uh...

[Lurks-no-More]

Dunno, could have been just a little bit more heavy-handed.

Also, for reals: get vaccinated, and if you have kids, get them vaccinated too.

[whitedorumon]

Its fun to rag on the facebook memes and all, but if you actually do some critical research you'll find plenty of legitimate sources which go in depth into the numerous issues with the vaxxination industry.

Lets not even get into the coughvidneinteen, I'm hearing rumors that a vaxxine will be rushed through development to counter that virus, frankly, you would have to be utterly insane to take such a thing, as the normal process demands at least 10 years of testing before they are released to the general public, furthermore, laws have been passed which grant absolute legal immunity to any company or individual developing responses to coughvid so good luck getting compensation when something inevitably goes wrong with your immune response to an untested mass deployed vaxxine.

no conspiracy bs, just straight facts, take it or leave it as you will. Just ask India about how they feel about Bill "A healthy market for vaxxines" Gates and his fascination with eugenics and population control and ask about what he and his "Charity" Foundation did to many of their children. Bill Gates was friends with Jeffrey Epstein btw, another man who was absolutely fascinated with eugenics and "superior genes" among his many other crimes.

[WhatDidIJustRead]

10342035
Not sure if joking or exactly the kind of person I am making fun of.

[whitedorumon]

10342108
the fact that you think you are making fun of something you know nothing about beyond facebook memes really shows how much of an ignorant coomer you are, you are the kind of creature that wallows in ignorance like pigs wallow in shit clearly.

[whitedorumon]

10342108
By all means, do continue to enjoy your slovenly, meager existence as a lickspittle for vaccines of all things... history will laugh at you people and consider you to be in the same vein as those who allowed Hitler to rise to power, ignorant power worshiping fools who put your trust in corrupt authorities that have been proven corrupt on numerous occasions like you never change in my experience.. you'll probably die believing in your irrational viewpoints.

[whitedorumon]

I pity anyone who trusts vaccines and goes around downvoting people who oppose them, willing to bet every piece of wealth I have that they have all spent exactly ZERO hours of research into the subject beyond ,maybe reading some fake news article made by a corrupt mainstream news organization who gets kickbacks from big pharma to keep their headlines maintaining a positive narrative on vaccinations.

The kind of gullible, self absorbed idiot-children who legitimately think bill gates is a good, charitable man and that jeffrey epstein actually killed himself. beyond rationality at this stage.

[whitedorumon]

They think they are trolls or something, it would be hilarious if it wasn't helping to convince all the other gullible idiots to believe in their absurd authority worshiping world views, when did it become cool to obey the government?

Author is so thin skinned he's putting a down vote on all my comments, truly a pathetic troll, don't know who you other morons are, don't care either.

[Jest]

10342222
Actually thats me. Your just an idiot.

[Lucky Seven]

10342035

but if you actually do some critical research

Post your research. You don't get to make claims and then tell other people to do the work for you.

[whitedorumon]

It's amazing how everyone who is anti "conspiracy" acts the same way,

* group think mentality (government and their mouthpieces are always correct!)

* Never research! reading things is hard work! (and only government mouthpieces tell the truth!) ((Demand sources that you never intend to use! even though anyone with even 2 braincells can do their own independent research which is far superior as you are able to pursue information without bias!.. oh wait thats impossible for you lot...))

* Mock everyone who believes that those proven to be corrupt are engaged in greater corruption! (assume that people are somehow incapable of maintaining secrets through blackmail, extortion and compartmentalization of information! for some reason!)

* Get really, really angry when anyone calls you out on your gross and overwhelming stupidity (quick! gather the army so we can lynch/downvote this dangerous wrongthink opinion away! report abuse! reeee!)

*Drink Soy.

[whitedorumon]

10342236

this is not a classroom, its up to you to educate yourself and you have chosen ignorance.

[Lucky Seven]

10342243
Yeah so you're a troll and a pretty poor excuse for one lmao

[whitedorumon]

10342245

You choose to believe that, it helps you to commit to your biases and have an "excuse" for not looking for information that could potentially change your world view. you are a child who fears change. i really don't care what about whatever silly little labels you want to throw at me.

[whitedorumon]

10342255

your single minded determination to refuse to accept change, that your world view is potentially wrong, is frankly beyond autistic, so perhaps you should stop trying to throw stones at me from inside your paper mache house and just admit that you know very little about anything at all.

[WhatDidIJustRead]

10342205
So you are the kind of person I'm making fun of. Hah.

So, what are your views on mareijuana?

[whitedorumon]

10342312

I think you're trying to shift the topic because you are a cretin with no ability to rationally converse or debate, used to always getting your way and always holding the "correct" view point.

[WhatDidIJustRead]

10342328
Who's trying to debate? I'm just here to shitpost and have fun, and right now the fun is you... babe.

[whitedorumon]

10342344
no, you're here exposing your stupidity and complete inability to perform any sort of critical thinking, for some god forsaken reason you've decided that being genuinely low IQ is now shitposting... you bring shame to the concept.

[LadyofSorrows]

I don't know what is more scary, unvaccinated people, or the fact some back alley death clinic like this could actually exist in a dense metropolitan city. It was a hung jury on this one

[WhatDidIJustRead]

10342348
I love you, too, darling.

[WhatDidIJustRead]

10342222
Oh, by the way, I didn't downvote any of your comments, lol. I almost never downvote anything.

[Ice Star]

10342035
Your attempt at rhetoric is almost as bad as your immune system.

[Marcibel]

I love stories like these. Especially the comments.

I always find someone new to block.