In an Equestria not quite what it seems, Princess Cadance is tasked by her Aunt with overseeing the Summer Sun Celebration, accompanied by Captain Shining Armour. But why is the guard being increased? Who are the two odd mares in Ponyville? And why do so many recent events correlate to a popular novel?
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This looks like it has the potential to be an intriguing AU story. I admit that the implication that this universe's Chrysalis is an author (unless I read that name wrong and am over-thinking things, which IS definitely possible) is an entertaining thought and I certainly got the right mix of laughs and chills from Celestia and Cadance's exchange concerning the nature of the emergency. And the interaction between Cadance and Shining is both funny AND sweet (as is to be expected with these two). Showing Cadance's first meetings with Applejack and Bon Bon was wonderful stuff too. The thought of Bon Bon being a sister of Applejack is definitely one of many things that is very likely going to catch me by pleasant surprise in this universe.
Anyway, I will really be looking forward to more of this, but will also understand that time and real world concerns might get in the way.
9530718
Thank's a lot!
Yes, Regina Chrys is Chrysalis, glad I didn't make it too hard to spot
Good start. The only problem is I was planning a AU Mane Six story where Cadance becames the element of magic but it looks like you beat me to the punch.
REALLY good job on the second chapter. Excellent show of Cadance's second stop at Sugar Cube Corner. I especially loved the sibling banter between Sky and Nebula as well as the argument concerning literary characters based on Cadance and her aunts.
Anyway, really good job on the exchanges, characterizations, humor and future chapter set-up.
9552196
Yeah, most of the stuff I'm proud of with Sugercube Corner was 90% accidental? Like, re-mapping the entire elements accidental? But I'm really proud of how it turned out?
Also, the book debate was entirely me wanting to give something for the two to chat about without Nebula suddenly doing a 180 personality-wise, but it turned out really well
9552026
I know about that one. You shared info with me about it. Well, yours is still different enough where you could still do it without too much trouble if you wanted to).
Again, this was some splendid work on this latest chapter. I LOVED how Lyra accompanied Cadance on the way to check on Fluttershy (complete with Lyra pretty much catching Cadance INSTANTLY when she was thinking about Shiny). And, yeah, while I MIGHT be able to understand Neb's issues concerning Trixie, the fact that no one in Ponyville knows her YET (though give it a few weeks) kind of makes the issues Suspiciously Specific Denial. And Lyra's first meeting Shiny was pretty well done too AND I enjoyed the little literary discussions at the end too. Though I have a REALLY bad feeling (in a way that's good for story telling) about the start of the next chapter.
Anyway, superb job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up.
Nice work on this.
Well, looks like "Celestia" is a reformed (or at least semi-reformed) Chrysalis. REALLY intriguing touch. And, yeah, I can relate to most of the good names being already taken as far as Sunset Blaze is concerned.
Anyway, REALLY good job on the action, exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. And, yeah, I DID like how quick Shiny was to take action to save his troops from serious injury as well as the fact that a few of the characters managed to get a couple of decent shots in on Nightmare Moon (even if they still lost the first round).
9591896
Thanks a lot! I'm kinda worried I didn't foreshadow the Celestia is Chrysalis thing properly because the only specific thing I can think of is her magic is the wrong colour but that's actually the 'nail' that got me thinking about this fic, the rest kinda spiralled from there
Good work on this.
Yeah. I can understand concerning not being able to think of ways to expand that chapter that didn't seem forced. But, yeah, I DID like the banter between Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon (AND the fact that Chrysalis is putting up enough of a fight to buy the others more time). And Nebula's confession about being Luna in disguise (which would mean Nightmare Moon managed to separate herself from Luna in this universe to make her own existence). And, yeah, the details of the alterations to the familiar story are intriguing.
Anyway, really good job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places.