Starlight Glimmer I690 stories ·479 members
Starlight Glimmer2,903 stories ·1,540 members
Starburst(Starlight X sun burst!)130 stories ·442 members
Sunburst159 stories ·256 members
StarBurst77 stories ·122 members
hector dabullios group of extreme spiritual power!604 stories ·14 members
Starlight and Sunburst are roommates. Shenanigans ensue. Shenanigans with a body count.
Thanks to Tired Old Man, Nova Quill/Firimil, and
Steel Resolve for there edits and suggestions. Especially Nova who may have accidently prompted me when she compared a certain purple unicorn to a certain hat wearing Llama.
Finally, thanks to BobTheDalek for his great work on this piece and just in general.
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Oh, you weren't joking. Well then.
9631099
I am 100% serious about all things all the time.
I like this... Good job.
9631110
I aim to please.
Wut.
I mean, I was. At this point, I'm kind of numb to your Starlight's atrocities.
Scratch that, definitely not numb.
Sunburst trying to contain Starlight is a bit like trying to clean up the Exxon Valdez spill with a single paper towel. Still, I look forward to seeing him try.
9631124
You're welcome.
9631130
I was nowhere near that oil spill when it happened and have many credible witnesses in my basement to prove it.
"Ponies with Horns" is being recorded before a live-studio-audience.
9631133
Why not?
9631138
Who are all totally here under their own free will. I have the release papers, signed in their blood no less, to prove it and release me from all legal wrong-doing.
Nepotism Adventure Series?
That's actually really convenient --- they could run heat engine between portal and ambient heat and get energy and air conditioning for free!
9631233
Right? Some ponies just don't understand the importance of clean energy sources.
I love the Sorcerer's Apprentice reference (Disney's Fantasia, for those youngin's who don't know). Please tell me it was intentional.
If I recall the original series correctly, this ends with everyone in Equestria dead, and probably several other worlds as well, Starlight being Starlight. And as they say, the death of one Pony at the hooves of Starlight Glimmer is comedy, the death of all Ponies is merely statistics,
What hat wearing llama?
...I knew we should have killed that last Wendigo near another town.
OH GOD WHY?!
9631105
Your definition of serious simultaneously scares and amuses me...this is gonna be a fun ride!
BULLSHIT!
Clean it up.
Wait what?
What is WRONG with you?
Apparently.
You're a sociopath.
You have severe issues.
Of course they're on fire.
Join the club.
I have a hard time picturing you regretting ANYTHING:
Ow.
I mean, the logic is sound.
The fact this is only a mild exaggeration of both Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst's personalities makes it very concerning.
I'm suprised two llama's didnt show up in hats and beat them to death for stealing there schtick. Or the Mouse didnt show up looking to sue for stealing ideas.
And guess what fillies and gentlecolts. That’s just ONE DAY in Starlight’s life. Imagine what the other 364 days are like....
I think I’m going to go chill out in my handy Anti-Starlight Nuclear Bunker (Patent Pending) until she disappears mysteriously (cause no one dies in Equestria).
"Starlight, why is there a pile of baby unicorn horns here?"
"Well, unicorns gotta pay. And the payment is baby horns."
Starrrrrliiiiiiight! That kills people!
I love llamas with hats, I love Starlight and Sunburst. This was great!
9631133 Because he drinks people...
ya sure it ain’t a Black hole sunburst?
................. am i a bad person for kinda liking this clearly deranged and insane version of Starlight?
gah................... o.O
Part of me hates you for killing the fake twins. Another part of me wants to laugh at the Pet semetery reference
All of Sunburst in this story can be summed up in four seconds:
Why does that not surprise me?
Causation, Starlight.
Conclusions.
Apparently? Very.
You're a sociopath.
You know she's going to do it anyway, right?
Oh hay! Anon-filly survived the flood! Good on her.
Oh...
Uhh...sure you don't causation instead of consternation, Starlight? I'm fairly certain that Twilight wouldn't have let you get away with that slip up.
Wait, my bad. Sunburst has it covered. So how long until his head is the one rolling off its neck?
In this context, I'd say it does, whether you go by the word she said or the word ahe meant.
And then Sunburst remembered that he was talking to Starlight Glimmer, the inventor of Knife Powder and Taco Spray.
Also, now I want to see Filly Anon's mayoral campaign. There's a story there.
Why does Sunburst playing straight man to your version of Starlight make both no sense and is perfectly logical?
How I’m feeling after 2 chapters of this:
This is... this is just Lamad WITH Hats!
CAAAAAARL!
It's like I Love Lucy with more murder and witchcraft.
I love it.
Really when you think about it so many problems involving Starlight can be solved with a shovel.
The mayor bears a striking resemblance to a flood victim.
This is like the Witchcraft version of this loveable duo
Staaarrrlight! You got some 'splain' to do!
That's why Opal's such a huge cunt.
I mean... she's not wrong.
9656637
To the back of her head maybe.
9791713
Back, front, it tends to have the same effect.
This had be bursting out in laughter in only six paragraphs.
9656637
It's the reason why she need Sunset Shimmer in her life. Her insanity is more manageable when she has the threat of Sunset's annoyance looming over her head.
9631138
Well live might be stretching it Abit. But it wouldn't be unfair to say that they were once alive, and are now doing the "Room Temperature Challenge."
9631140
And everyone knows contracts signed in blood are the most legally binding.
9791713
Yep. Opal was evil because FlutterButters uses Necromancy and Evil Graveyards for her pets and the pets of her friends.
*Why do you think Angel Bunny is evil and still alive when he lives near predators; and the Evergreen?*
9656644
She did. I think Starlight is using time magic to bring her back so she can keep killing her over and over again.
Probably because she accidentally cut in front of Starlight, and got the last scoop of Rocky Road icecream.
And all these murders are a backdrop to her revenge.
9801236
I’d believe it.
Killing people is my LEAST favourite thing to do.
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRLLLLLLLLLL
I'm too happy that you're writing again to care about the specifics. Which... well, that happened.
Um. Uh. What just happened?
Most random update ever, but I'm just glad you're back.
Funnily enough I was just watching that series the other day because I apparently had missed out on a bunch of them.
Why he still alive?