People rarely consider their actions, even less consider the consequences. Teenagers especially. So caught up in their own world with their friends, feelings, and social media that they forget to consider the effects they might have on others. A lie here. A shove there. A persons worst moments laid bare.
Being a Teacher-In-Training, one young woman sees it every day at Crystal Prep among the Students in her charge. Some have it worse than others, but so long as they have friends to pull them up again, it is alright in the end.
When asked to be a substitute at Canterlot High, she is eager to show everyone what she can do, yet she barely makes it through the doors before something feels wrong.
--- While not overtly dark, this story is rated Teen for implications, emotionally difficult and potentially upsetting content! Please take care! ---
My thanks to Between Lines and Scampy for being my Pre-Readers on this story!
Cover art kindly donated by Scampy!
Looking like Anon-a-miss happened, and it didn't go well. While I want this to be one of the few "Sunset went home" endings to that story, well the title doesn't give me much hope. Wallflower did drop at least the possibility of it, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
I have to say, this story has me intrigued.
However, I do have one question. How come we didn't SEE Sunset's first class as a sub? Also, HOW was she permitted to be a sub? Shouldn't Celestia have seen those similarities and told Cinch not to send her?
It just feels like we're missing the beginning of the story.
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Think she died, maybe....maybe...
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Everything is pointing too it, well nearly everything. Wallflower reaction gives me a very faint hope. But I could very easily be grasping for something that isn't there.
Well, this is depressing. Good, but depressing. I'm curious about how everything is going to be explained to Native Sunset, but what I am really looking forward to is the aftermath of that whole debacle. Who among the Mane Six are still talking to each other, just how bad are the fractures in the student body, and how exactly is Wallflower going to take this whole event. All of that leading up to the coup de gras; can the students at Canterlot High receive some modicum of closure through the up coming events?
It really hurt to see everyone (especially the CMC) so broken. All I can do is hope for a happy ending, but I will brace for melancholy and depression.
9896197 Hey, I'm glad you are following along.
In short, Celestia never meets her beforehand. She just goes on Cinchs word of this persons skills. As for why she can continue, sending her away would raise a lot of questions, and she is needed to be a substitute.
As for why I didn't write her lesson, i felt it would have been a lot of words to say very little.
Hopefully that answers your questions
Well, you got me hooked. I'm hoping this is a "Sunset left" and not a "Sunset died" AU, but I'm not very optimistic about it...
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It does answer it, but it still doesn't explain why.
Tell me, have you ever heard the phrase "show, don't tell?"
9897209 Yes I have. I didn't feel it was necessary to include as part of the story I'm telling.
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And that's where I think you are in error.
Think of a story like a series of causes and effects. In order for the story to make sense, you need to show these causes and effects taking place.
Effect: Sunset is wallowing in her home. Okay, so, what was the cause?
Imagine if the story began with Sunset walking into that first class, feeling all excited about getting this opportunity and not wanting to let it slip her by, however, she is late. She rushed through the halls, stressing about how bad a first impression it would be to show up late on her first day, she runs down the halls, not noticing the strange looks she's getting from a few stragglers, until finally she reaches the classroom. Then, she begins to start the lesson, however, once she turns around to address the students, they all look like they've seen a ghost. Mouths agape. Sunset is quite puzzled at this and questions if there's something on her face. Then, Apple Bloom (or someone else) faints.
Smash cut to later, when Twilight comes running to comfort her.
This would allow us to become acquainted with this version of Sunset Shimmer since we do not have any idea of her background or who she is, something that is crucial if she is going to be a main character in this story.
However, alternatively, you could have switched the point of view. Imagine starting off with Apple Bloom arriving to class, already knowing there's a sub. She and another classmate could strike up a random conversation, let us get acclimated to the world this story inhabits, then the plot begins when Sunset comes in late. Apple Bloom suddenly goes into panic mode. Her heart skips a beat, and she thinks it can't be real. But it is, Sunset Shimmer is standing right there, and she faints.
Then, we can smash cut to Principal Celestia's scene with the Humane Six, and then cut to Sci-Twi rushing home to comfort Sunset.
Each of these alternate scenarios allows us to be introduced to this story's world and let readers get settled in before the plot is thrown at them. You know how Avengers: Endgame was such an amazing movie on its own, because the whole first act of the movie was dedicated to showing how the world was impacted by Thanos' actions five years after they happened and they stuck with it. They didn't just start with Ant-Man returning from the Quantum realm and proposing the time heist. Doing that would miss the audience the opportunity to get used to the Post-Snap world, just like how readers need to be introduced to THIS version of Sunset. We need to know her before we can care about what's happening to her.
I apologize if this might come off as blunt, but I say this as somebody who LOVES stories and the ideas that they can explore. I really want this story to live up to its full potential, and I just want to show you, respectfully, why I believe skipping that scene is a bad idea. I'm glad you want to share this story with the world, but I'm hoping that with my words, I can play just a small part in this story becoming something that people will remember and come back to for months, years, to come.
You have my interest and I really want to see where this goes. Great job
This has me excited, the only other story I can think of that is similar to this only had two chapters, and also involved a Sunset teaching at Canterlot after AaM and Sunset's death. But that is long dead, no pun intended.
I'm greatly looking forward to the next chapter!
Hooooooly heck you have my attention. This is a super interesting concept that somehow hasn't been done yet. While most AAM fics that involve suicide are shallow and awful, this is the opposite. You're treating that heavy subject with the respect and care it deserves.
The characterization is top-notch too. The only thing I'm not a fan of is the Flutterdash post-shipping stuff, if only cuz thusfar it seems pretty irrelevant. Not a deal breaker by any means, though. I'm super excited to see this continue.
And you included my girl Wally! I love her and I love how it's implied she made the memorial for Sunset. She's such a pure and perfect and precious angel and she needs to be cherished and protected okay? I only like stories where Wallflower is overflowing with joy and love, and I'd never write something about her unless it
was full of happy things. Only happy things. Only happy.
9900677 Thank you! I'm really glad you are hooked! I didn't know if the idea had been done before, I suspected it had though so I am surprised that there only seems to have been a few other attempts.
The Flutter-Dash is there to begin showing the effects and rifts that were created by events, and there are reasons for this. As for Wall Flower, she seemed suited to that part and it fitted well with a place to have memorial.
another good chapter keep it up
Damn. This was very heavy.
So, is Twilight ACTUALLY going to destroy her research?
This was really good. Amazing chapter.
This is so sad...i was hoping hoping that....maybe I was wrong and Sunset went back home.
Sighs...so what happens next?
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Honestly, i doubt that.
Sci-Twi is going to do something stupid, and this Sunset might just pay the price.
This was all the right kinds of painful.
The cadence of events was laid out perfectly to answer all the questions from Chapter 1 without seeming like exposition. The hints of gruesome detail like the blood on Sunset's journal add so much to an already heart-wrenching scene. If she had it when she was on the roof, did she write something in it before she fell? A suicide note to Twilight? This whole chapter is sad answers, yet still creates so many more sad questions.
And as always, great writing. The descriptions and dialogue are on-point.
Great chapter.
However I see the princesses action having the oppiset effect. Instead making things way worse.
Loving this.
Well, this is amazing. I can't wait for the next update!
Ah, I had wondered what was fueling the extra level of bitterness Princess Twilight was displaying, and it would appear we have seen it.
Also, Human Twilight really should have known better.
Ow.
But, in that case, wouldn't it make more sense to have her teach at Crystal Prep?
This is Bull!~ Rainbow should be reported and the other attackers brought in to be ARRESTED!
Dude this makes me want to cry.
Well, [BEEP]. This is an interesting twist.
Considering its been 2 years, not sure what everyone is expecting the police to do. Unless rainbow had a weapon, it was likely a misdameaner assualt, so not even a felony, so even if they had evidence and witnesses the statute of limitations have likely passed. Sunset definitely didnt report it, the only other witness is probably gilda who I doubt is going to corroborate and any evidence long gone other than a coronors report that says there may have been previous injuries. With no one else in position to press charges, as sunset had not family here, then rainbow turning her self in is just gonna be the cops telling her to stop wasting their time.
10191512 Hi! First off, thanks for reading
Only Human Sunset and Rainbow has discussed anything to do with the police so no one else has any idea about what she is considering at this time. Gilda wasn't involved with Pony Sunset in any way, so I hope that wasn't the impression that was given. I deliberately haven't specified what happened as no one here actually knows what happened. It's implied that Rainbow set it up but wasn't present. As for the legal proceedings, if any, that might occur... I don't have enough knowledge to predict what might happen and neither do Sunset or Rainbow. I could try and find out, but I rather like the uncertainty and confusion. It means there is no clear path, no easy, clear or even possible way to getting some kind of closure.
I hope that explains things.
I have no idea what the story is even about, ah the mystery of a substitute teacher. Go ahead and put the unspeakable pressure on the young woman who just went to a school to get a job.
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A common misconception is that substitute teachers only work in one school. This is because a given sub will likely make repeat appearances in the same school during the time a student goes there (and lets be honest, no one thinks about subs when they're not going to school without a reason).
What really happens is that subs take on a district or region, coordinate with an agency or callbank, and respond to requests when emergencies come up. This can mean many classes, schools, subjects and even regions. You might get a 'home base' that you work from mainly... one that the faculty is happy to have you with (and can lead to a more permanent position if you complete your degree and they have an opening), but just as often, subs live on a rotating schedule between days where they fill in and days where they find something else to do.
So that's it?! They not going to report Dash and the others who attacked Sunset?!!
Really!! I get Rainbow but got dammit the others should be punished and on rainbow life being ruined...BBOO HOO HOO,
sighs honest be best she does at least she can get some peace some how, and the other guilty party can pay.
10262332 I was able to find someone who could tell me what would actually happen and the answer is, not much. The most that I was able to find them guilty of was Assault or Assault occasioning Actual Bodily Harm (ABH). Common assault has a maximum sentence of 6 Months in prison. ABH can carry up to 5 years for an Adult. Due to the amount of time passed, the ages of those involved, the lack of physical evidence of what happened (i.e. in and around the school, clothes/items used etc), and being unable to tell between what injuries were sustained in the attack and the fall due to the level of investigation done at the time (it was deemed suicide so no autopsy may have been carried out), the person I spoke to said that, even if they admitted, they were unlikely to receive more than a suspended sentence of up to 2.5 years, so no actual jail time. This honestly surprised me too but given even more might have been covered up due to the whole magic/Equestria stuff they might not even get that.
Man so much drama but the double Twilight hug was really cute. There were some missing words that confused me but overall good chapter.
10262452 Could you PM me the missing words. I've used 3 spell checkers and had someone else read it!
NGL, I didn't expect that at the end of the chapter.
Boy won't Tia be in for a surprise :P
I have a hard time empathizing with the "destroy knowledge that can benefit humanity, potentially killing terminal diseases via healing magic" position. I feel like Twilight was morally obligated to keep that Flash Drive, regardless of whatever bullshit happened with a bunch of teenaged girls.
I just wanted to say that the story really moved me. Looking forward to the next update. Any chance of an update for Ouroboros? I really like also. Keep up the great work.
This version of Sci-Twi is the kind of Scientist I HATE.
When is the next update
"In a way, they were just as responsible as Sweetie Belle, Applejack and Scootaloo." You mean Apple Bloom.
10390209 Fixed, thank you!
Holy hell, chief you pulled my heart strings waaaay too well on this. I cannot even begin to believe that one Sunset offed herself first off and two that she did it while something was blooming between her and Princess Twilight. That damn near broke my heart. Great stuff man keep it up.
Interesting premise. Can't wait for more.
Wait, did Equestria Twilight look like Earth Sunsets Mom?
This was a very emotional story! That bit about Rainbow was surprising; frankly, I would have thought she would have just attacked Sunset herself. Princess Twilight’s presentation is pretty good. A lot of Anon-a-miss fics depict Twilight rightfully calling Out the Humane 5 for their pettiness. This is one of the rare times where Twilight’s absence is pointed out to her. Sunset was in dire straits here, and all Twilight could do was give her fortune-cookie platitudes.
The writing is good here, although there doesn’t seem to be a “plot” here, aside from Analyzing guilt and grief over time. But you probably have more chapters planned, so we shall see how this one unfolds.