... and the Dumb One
Twilight flew down the stairs and into the library’s basement. She’d prepared for this day ever since they’d used the Elements of Harmony to “redeem” Discord. Everypony should have known it wouldn’t last.
Dust-covered lab equipment she’d brought from Canterlot filled the basement except in one corner. There an immense red crystal floated in place, humming in a low tone. Etched runes covered its surface, their forms always shifting. The crystal’s polyhedral shape defied description, as if its facets did not unite in any way a mathematician could explain. It was made of pure chaotic energy, the only thing capable of summoning a draconequus without fail. And there was only one such creature that Twilight planned to call on.
Her horn charged with energy. She had to be as precise as a scalpel and as mighty as a train. One mistake and magic itself would corrupt all across Ponyville. But Discord had changed her friends.
The shaping and ward spells coalesced in her mind, and—
“You do know you can just say please, don’t you?”
Discord hung from an open wardrobe that definitely hadn’t been there a minute ago. He unspooled out of it, followed by a lion, whom he ushered back inside. The wardrobe vanished as soon as the lion’s tail slipped in.
Twilight turned her aim from the cyrstal to him. Now she didn’t need to be precise. “What have you done to my friends?”
“Nothing, really, just peeled the scales from their eyes and hoisted them upon the shoulders of giants.” He paused to examine his claws. “And I might have made them all geniuses.”
“You what?”
“Oh, don’t be so melodramatic. You’d think I made them all grow wings.”
“Change them back!”
“Change them back?” Discord’s eyebrows arched. His snaggletooth smile twisted into a sneer. “Change them back?” His body coiled into a cushion, on which he sat and looked down at her. “Why, Twilight, I’m disappointed in you. I never took you for the jealous type.”
“What? I’m not…” Twilight stopped herself. Of course he’d resort to mind games. She shook her head and refocused her glare on him. “This isn’t about me. This is about what you did to them.”
“Are you sure? Because I’m beginning to think you liked being the only smart one.”
“No!” But she couldn’t meet his eyes. “If anything I’m glad they’re into astronomy. You messed with their heads, and even if it’s for something good, the principle—“
“The principle!” Discord exploded from his self-throne. “What principle is that, hmm? That no pony may dare challenge your brilliance, not even your so-called friends? Or were they more like pets to you before I broke your ‘principle’?”
“It’s… I…” Nothing she started to say left her lips. Was he right? Was she jealous? No, it wasn’t okay that Discord could change somepony’s mind without their permission. She ought to stand up to him. But it was done now. They were all geniuses, and they were all happy as they were.
She turned away from him. There was all of Equestria to think about too. What wonders would her friends create during their lives? They had already done such amazing things with only a few nights, their own eyes, and a little research. They hadn’t asked for Twilight’s help, or even asked the two princesses who actually raised the sun, moon, and stars…
That’s what gave away the game.
Twilight whipped around to Discord. “You liar.”
Discord had an intrigued look.
“My friends navigated the Everfree Forest and defeated Nightmare Moon,” she said. “They stopped a changeling invasion, freed the Crystal Empire, saved Ponyville from a half-dozen disasters, and they even outsmarted you. You didn’t make them smarter. My friends have always been geniuses.” She scowled at him. “The only thing you did was make them forget Princess Luna and Princess Celestia.”
Discord had gone back to picking at his claws. “As far as I’m concerned, I did them a favor. I’d rather wipe those two from my own mind.”
“A favor? They’re building a giant rocket and think it’ll send them to other worlds! Who knows what they’ll actually fly into?” she said. “I mean, Princess Luna probably knows, but still.”
“I almost forgot! How about we go see your friends strap themselves to a giant firecracker?”
“Change them back.” Twilight hunkered down, ready to make him if she had to. “Now!”
“If you insist. What about the rest of Ponyville?”
Twilight eyed him. “What about them?”
“I made it so you are the only one in town who remembers Cel-bell and Lulu. Originally, it was a classic game of, ‘I’ve lost my mind and my entire life is a lie,’ although I suppose things didn’t go quite as planned.”
“Change everypony back.” Her horn glowed anew.
Discord scowled and snapped his claws. “You’re no fun.”
“And never, ever do that to anypony else!”
A stack of books—all cookbooks—materialized under Discord’s left paw. He raised his right and said, “On my honor as a reformed spirit of chaos, I solemnly swear I will never again make any pony, whether they be mare, stallion, colt, or filly, forget about the princesses.”
The books disappeared. Discord swung up a claw, opening a window out of thin air, and climbed outside. Wherever he was going, it looked like everything was made of fuzzy worm toys with googly eyes. “Enjoy giving them all an existential crisis.”
With a click, the window shut and vanished. Twilight beamed to herself. She would go talk to her friends soon, to explain what happened and maybe get them interested in some real astronomy. For now, she had a higher authority to report to. And, based on the sound of dragon feet padding down the stairs, her number one assistant was on the way to help.
“Spike! Come down to the basement. I’ve got a letter to write.”
He appeared at the top of the stairwell. Ever ready, he grabbed a quill from behind his crest and unrolled a parchment.
“Dear Princess Celestia…” she started.
The quill stopped. Spiked cocked his head to the side and squinted at her. “Dear who?”
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Is this a reupload?
I could swear I've seen this story before.
Great premise, twist, and final joke! Twilight was a great straight mare for this and I'm glad this didn't require making her a moron to make the comedy work.
This is like that Futurama episode where Prof. Farnsworth meets Da Vinci, and he is the stupid one on his planet, so he went to Earth where he was a genius, relatively speaking. Prof. Farnsworth is even stupider than him when they go to Da Vinci's planet.
LMAO
11009528
The first version 'starred' all humans, and was mostly hundreds of years ago?
Not so much “dumb” as “unfamiliar with the subject matter.” Or possibly “working with a different set of physical laws.” Suffice to say, delightful bit of silliness. Though I do wonder how everypony will react after the fact… and just where that rocket would end up.
11009612 Love that show!
Okay, this was pretty great, and not at all what I expected in the best way. The choice of individual topics Twilight's friends focused on, the twist second chapter, and the stealth astronomical history lesson all worked.
Ah, Twilight...you forget just how Discord works sometimes.
Well, that was a fun story. :D
Nice story
No reason that astronomy and the princesses can't coexist though, once Luna and Celestia come settle everyone down
And faved.
11009612
11009769
And thus, after being declared a filthy heretic and being banished from Equesria, Spike would go on to build the first interspecies space agency.
Upon being informed of their first moon landing. Princess Luna was said to have threatened them to, quote, "Get off my lawn!"
I want to see what the princesses think. But this is another interesting thought about how the pseudo-medieval/19th century world of Equestria runs. Presuming it runs on the same physical laws as our own, would anypony believe you or would you be taken to the nice little garden of the ponyville hospital/sanitarium?
Fun start but not “dumb” and weak ending.
11010490
i concur!
Yeah, I knew he had given himself some sort of loophole.
11010598
Yep as a lover of fae . Always read the fine print.
And now her friends may remember the princesses again, but they also remember their space theories.
As such they realize the princesses are actually scammers and form an angry mob trying to overthrow them.
Whether that's an improvement to their previous state-of-mind remains to be seen.
Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.
A very nice read! Very funny, had me chuckling at several parts!
Well, that was a nice plot twist. Although with Discord's promise, you could see the ending coming a mile away.
So you are risking who knows what kind of disaster, to find Discord faster, despite the fact you suck at spell casting, and there were other ways to call him?
You know the word for that Twilight? Irresponsible!
We all know that isn't actually Aslan. Nice try Discord.
He's not wrong.
Twilly sweetie, your world opperates on kiddy level logic.
Your friends didn't need anything approaching genius to do the things they did.
They merely needed extraordinary levels of courage, dedication, and humility, in order to recognize a mare with a actual plan, and follow her.
That doesn't explain their curiosity about the heavens though, or their ability to master complex fields of physics and engineering without explanation.
Again he's not wrong.
That's what I said!
Even Fluttershy?!
Oh who am I kidding? This is Discord after all!
Especially Fluttershy.
Okay that made me laugh!
Well played Dissy. Well played.
I thought this whole thing was a dream at first, but when it turned out that Discord was involved, I got interested in how the story would end. And that last line was pretty clever.
Well, that escalated quickly!
Specifically, at least about 400*365/2=73000 times faster than it should have, judging by our history.
11055353
Huh. That reminds me of the parasprites. A lot.
Didn't know MLP:FiM was influenced by Star Trek!