The name's Diane, Private Eye. I'm the stickiest gumshoe in all of Manehattan, with an addiction to danger (and chocolate). Hot on the trail of a missing foal, a feeling deep in my twitchy-tail tells me I'm about to crack the case wide open. Unfortunately, I may need the help of my weirdo "friends" to do it... but who knows, maybe I'll change my mind about friendship after an epic character arc.
Oops. Sorry for breaking the fourth wall there, but you can blame Mom for that one. After all, I'm just a half-bit mimeo of the #horsefamous Bearer of Laughter.
I mean, it's not like I have a soul, or anything.
Inspired by "The Heart of Saturday Night", a minific written by No Raisin for the June 2018 Writeoff.
Chapters (2)
It’s been a while since I’ve gotten in on the ground floor of a longer story as it’s just beginning, but fuck if that ain’t a hell of a premise. Will Diane find the missing child? Probably. But can she find herself? That remains to be seen.
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I wish there were more clone pink fics out there
I bet it's sugar.
Sounds like it's candy.
So she's basically a hummingbird.
I'm sure this won't be an important plot point later on where she almost dies of starvation.
This is going to be such an interesting story. I'm really curious to see how this is explored.
There's going to be a lot of fear and anxiety in this story isn't there?
Okay I'm going to stop quoting everything I like about this because I love everything about this. I am loving this story so far.
Okay I lied. You can take the Pinkie out of the Ponk, but you can't take the Ponk out of the Pinkie. As I said, this is really going to be about her coming to terms with who she is.
Tricked, I don't know if you understand that you have written a story exactly catered to my taste. I love Pinkie because she's amazing and I think like her, and constantly going on random tangents and not hating comic sans like everyone else is part of that.
Ponkers gonna pronk
the juxtaposition between her Pinkieness and her own self-forged identity is delicious
This is great
You're going to give Suri a redemtion arc and make me like her, aren't you?
Oh Not-Pinkie, never change. Also I literally never knew that chatoyance was something besides the username of FimFiction's most cynical and controversial Conversion Bureau and Friendship is Optimal writer.
Loony Tunes would be proud.
Wait, is he also not supposed to exist? Or does he just like wearing pants? Guess we'll see soon enough.
I can confirm that annoying my uptight friends is extremely rewarding. That miiiight be a character flaw on my end.
Big same. I hate small talk so fucking much. I am far less afraid of public speaking far more than striking up a conversation with a stranger at a party.
You're really gonna build a ragtag group of underdogs, aren't you?
This is going to be one hell of a philosophical and ethical dilemma for Twilight and Pinkie when it happens. My prediction which may be wrong is that Diane is the original first clone Pinkie made so she's a lot closer to Pinkie's depth and complexity than the more watered down successive copies who were but a shadow of the real Ponkers. Killing off those clones never quite felt right to me, and it will be interesting to see if Twilight tries to do that again now that Diane clearly has an established life and personality. Also, you mentioned in your blog that this story has an adventure element and some traveling so I wonder if she's going to go back into the mirror pool at one point. It'd be a crazy coincidence if that's where the kidnapped filly is being held as well.
I bet someone's been there.
I am so fucking here for genre-savvy (Not)Ponkers.
The secret to getting into places is pretending you belong there.
Me and my $12,000 of credit card debt
OwO I love you so much for this.
Does anyone actually know what those are called? Like it's in-character for her to not know but I kind of suspect you didn't either XD
I see you too are a believer in magical magnetic hooves. And more "who am I" angst.
I'm mad--neigh, furious that this fandom has been around for almost a decade now and this is the first time I've ever seen anyone make that pun.
(In Rainbow Dash's Gastly Gorge Voice) DUN DUN DUN
You're giving a fucking masterclass on characterization here.
short for faux leather?
Called it.
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curious to see who this is.
Huh, so that's an abrupt ending. I was expecting a cliff-hanger, but I guess it's in character for Diane to just suddenly stop what she's doing on a lark.
ANYWAY, Um, I'm not sure if you can tell, but I absofuckinglutely love this so very very much. You have written Diane incredibly well, and I'm extremely eager to see where this goes. Consider me a fan.
Ooh, immediate points for both Diane being stumped by her own incomprehensible biology and using a borough that isn't Manehattan.
Hey, Trick writes good stuff. Or, if you go by the Myst interpretation, she writes gateways to interesting worlds.
I admit it, I winced.
I've seen your mother in action, Diane. This is to be expected.
She has much to learn. Granted, Pinkie tactics are going to be a harder sell in the big city. Knowing everypony in town is right out. Of course, there's the matter of going too far, which Diane has already established is something of an issue with her. And that's before getting into the chanting...
Most intriguing opening. Looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
Glad you decided to do this story!! I love the way you have Diane resisting her urge to be Pinkie, and the way she still is. THE STRUGGLE.
Anyways, excited for more!!!!
I lost it at this part XD
So, in a single word, this fic was incredible. But in many words, I'm going to specify.
The description of apple juice with bitter coffee was great if a touch nauseating.
The addressing of the reader, which is not uncommon of Pinkie to do, works amazingly with her and places this story somewhere between first and second-person point of view!
This whole fic is jam-packed with solid characterization and it had me smiling (and laughing) through the whole thing. Like her complaining to herself about being a nutcase is solid, pure, shining gold. Or how she had to keep reminding herself not to stick out, it made me grin. Pinkie trying to keep a low profile is like trying to put a lid on an exploding bottle of soda.
Now, that being said, this fic was a touch heavy-handed, er hoofed, but because it's Pinkie adding weight to that hoof, it gets a complete pass. On that note, the 'oh, woah,' joke almost made me close the window out of angry reflex. But, because you slipped that joke in flawlessly, you have earned another complete pass.
This story seems to be hiding a darker side to it though, like a whole gritty underworld visible only by a peephole covered with a smiley-face sticker. If you ever need a proofreader or an editor, though I'm sure you have many, I would leap at the opportunity!
You've got a beautiful characterization of Di here! There's also just not that many stories on Pinkie's clones, so I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this for updates.
I'll say upfront that I have a very shaky history with TQ's horse fiction, and with some of our more private conversations. But, I'll also be the first to say that I'm pleasantly surprised with what she did here. She took a snippet or two from my story (which I'll expand for FiMFic publication... eventually) and did something very different with it. An almost-Pinkie Pie film noir adventure that digs deeply into the logistics of what it would mean to be a clone, existential dread and all, with enough humor to fit the character.
Good job.
This looks really good so far, I'm interested to see where it goes.
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Am I the only person who likes Comic Sans?
Well, this is interesting. :D
Butt talent. Heh. I like that. Way better than "cutie mark."
Oh, yes I did!
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There's nothing wrong with the comic-book style of Comic Sans, it's just poorly executed. And the kerning is atrocious.
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I've never understood the hate either.
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I've been of the HC that Equestria has standard fixtures on their horseshoes for hooking and picking up objects.
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The best uses of Comic Sans are Microsoft Bob and BoneQuest (formerly Jerkcity).
10205904
I've been of the HC that Equestria has standard fixtures on their horseshoes for hooking and picking up objects.
10207729
Okay, but like, Pinkie Pie literally climbs up a smooth wall in this clip:
(though it could be argued that that's just Pinkie being Pinkie.)
Love how you wrote Diane. She's very Pinkie-ish, but a good bit... darker? Without being Pinkamena.
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It's a miracle!
I have no idea what the hell is going on here, but I'm definitely along for the ride.
(of course for a mirror clone of Pinkie, I'd be more worried of I did know what was going on.)
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I
LOVE
THIS
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Hmm the best explanation remain the granular vacuum gripping.
Free public transit in New York? This is a fantasy world.
This is some quality ponkery.
Fascinating to see Diane's issues with empathy, especially given the original. Yes, Pinkie has her off days, but she also absolutely has on ones. Diane knows of feelings, but she still has a hard time actually putting names to proverbial faces. Though her less than demonstrable friends aren't exactly helpful there.
Again, amazing Pinkie voicing, even if we're working with a nonlegendary token copy.
Kudos on making a legitimate reason to work emojis into a story about a pre-cellphone society.
I thought she wanted to avoid making things too meta.
Ouch. Hi there, casual self-loathing.
I have to wonder how much of Diane's gross misinterpretations of Kichawi's messages are uncontrolled Pinkie-isms and how much are not knowing the symbolic connections he relies on. After all, mirror clones don't get a lot of knowledge copied over when they're created.
I had to look up the proper Unicode table for the former.
Given Diane's early experiences with ponies who she thought were her friends, I can hardly blame her for her current paranoia.
Another fascinating glimpse at a most unusual life. Looking forward to more of both the mystery and the investigator.
My head hurts more now than after reading the first chapter. Somehow, that feels like it's supposed to be part of the experience.
Wow this is really well written. This style of unreliable and occasionally incomprehensible narrator is so good, and very unique. Only other stories I can think of that do something like this are maybe Stone Cold(I think, it's been a while since I read that) and Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter here(and it's sequel).
Any chance at shipping ever happening later? I saw some maybe hints, but I don't want to unnecessarily get my hopes up.
"Anyhoo, I have no idea why the biggest Library in Equestria outside of Canterlot allows Kichawi to live on premises. I'm pretty sure that violates at least twentteny-tweenth municipal codes."
Well, some interesting history behind that sort of thing, actually.
"I guess that's pretty unlikely, though."
[looks at where the controls for the FIMFiction text-to-speech system formerly were on their screen]
Yep, how would something like that ever happen? :D
"Also, I'm not sure Fine Print's cap and rolled-up newspaper cutie mark are showing up properly in whatever font you're using."
:D
(I'm getting the newspaper, by the way, but yeah, not the cap.)
I continue to find this an interesting and enjoyable story. Thanks for writing. :)
Literally everything about this paragraph
🦓🍆🔜🎈🎈🎈❣️💱
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If this story had ended up being popular, you might have seen fan art of various pairings someday. Mais non: it is sadly one of my least popular works, so far.
Still, despite the fact nopony's reading it, I will of course continue it as a labor of love.
In that case, protected and internal eyes should be not so far away too
This is a really good story, and it’s a shame it’s overlooked. I have never read a fanfic like this one, and I fell in love with its originality, charisma, and well written characters. I applaud your idea to use Pinkie’s double - that was genius! The writing for this story made me smile and laugh the whole way through, and even though Diane goes off on tangents a lot, they’re so enjoyable.
and when she talks about her “addiction” in the first chapter! I adored this story so much.)
Actually, all of the things she thinks/says are absolutely hilarious, and the humor is so clever too. If you’ve ever read a Lemony Snicket book, it reminds me a lot of that.
I liked how your oc’s played into the story so smoothly, and Suri’s character was spot on! All the writing was done so well, and, again, this was a hilarious read. I cannot recommend it enough.
(Also, that part about the “riff-raff” and the bus, was great
I didn't know what a mimeo was (although with the etymology I could guess). Now with a bit of Google-Fu I know what a mimeograph looks like. Neat.
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That was a pretty beautiful article.
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Oh, glad you enjoyed it. :)
I've seen a few other "Pinkie's close in Manehattan" stories, but your look inside her head is uniquely fun and interesting.
Hope you come back to it some day!
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I intend to. Things are just much slower for me than they used to be, due to disability.
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Of course, of course. No pressure.
I love the premise of seeing through the eyes of a fully-developed, sentient and separate Pinkie Clone with her own life. And this is a particularly well written one. I'm glad I read this.
10231651
Both the cap and newspaper work fine for me - I must have a font with broader emoji coverage.
11575831
Aye, sounds like, or at least different coverage.