UNDERTALE (Starring Twilight)

by The_One_Llama

The Ruins Pt 2.

Twilight was still waiting in the corridor. It had been almost 2 hours since Toriel had left her there, instructing her to stay where she was until she got back. Twilight was starting to get impatient and was getting more so by the minute.

"Wait a second." Twilight thought aloud. "Is this another puzzle? Was I supposed to leave and solve the rest on my own?" Twilight thought about this for a few more minutes, before leaving the room, and going into the next. However, the second she left the room, the mobile cell phone that Toriel had given her hours ago started to ring.

"Hello? This is Toriel." Toriel spoke through the phone. "You have not left the room, have you?"

Twilight took a glance back at the room she had been waiting in for the past 2 hours, before replying. "No," she lied.

"Ok good," Toriel said, sighing with relief on the other side of the call. "There are a few puzzles ahead that I have yet to explain. It would be dangerous to try and solve them yourself. Please be good, alright?" Toriel then hung up.

Twilight felt bad lying to Toriel, but she remembers that as long as she was down here, she was not up on the surface with her friends. The thought of her friends, and how they must be missing her right now gave her the strength to do whatever it took to get back up to the surface.

Twilight looked around the new room and saw a frog-like creature similar to the one that had attacked her earlier.

"Ribbit, Ribbit." the Frog-like Creature said before clearing its throat and spoke fluent English. "Hello, Pony. My name is Froggit. I have some advice for you about battling monsters. There are three ways to end a battle. 1) FIGHT it to death. This method is not preferred in any way. 2) FLEE from the battle. This is an easy way to escape the grasp of a monster, but you will be seen as a coward. 3) MERCY. By ACTing a certain way, you can change the way a monster looks at you. They might even stop attacking you, and you can SPARE them. I hope my advice was helpful. Ribbit."

Twilight just stared at the Froggit. She then slowly walked away. As she did so, she noticed that there was a side room to the room she was in. As she entered the side room, she found a small bowl of candy. On it, there is a sign that says 'take one'. Twilight starts to feel a little hungry and takes only one of the candy and eats it. The candy tastes good, and she wants more of it, but she follows the rules and doesn't take any more. After doing everything that she thinks can be done, she moves into the next room. As Twilight gets into the next room, her phone starts to ring again.

"Hello? This is Toriel." Toriel spoke into the phone. "For no reason in particular, which do you prefer? Cinnamon or Butterscotch?"

"Hmm." Twilight thinks, recalling previous encounters with both items of food. "Well, once when I was on the surface, my friend Pinkie Pie gave me some Cinnamon Cupcakes, and I really enjoyed them! I'll go with Cinnamon."

"Oh. I see." Toriel said. "Thank you very much!" She then hung up.

Twilight was just about to do continue exploring the room when Toriel called her again.

"Hello? This is Toriel." Toriel said again. "You do not DISLIKE Butterscotch, do you? I understand your preference, but would you turn your nose if you found it on your plate?"

"Umm." Twilight thought, wondering if she had ever tried butterscotch before, "No, I would accept Butterscotch."

"Wonderful!" Toriel said. "Thank you for being patient by the way." Once again, Toriel hung up.

Twilight continued with her puzzle. In this room, there was a rock, a platform, and a row of spikes. Twilight went and stood on the platform, and the spikes dropped. However, the second she stepped off the platform, the spikes rose again. It didn't take Twilight long to figure out the puzzle. Twilight moved over to the rock and pushed it over onto the platform. With the platform pushed down again, the spikes dropped once again. Happy with her results, Twilight moved past the spikes, and into the next room.

"How big are these Ruins?" Twilight asked herself, as she continued to walk through the ruins. As she continued to walk around the Ruins, she noticed a weird transparent glow coming from the next room over. As she made her way to the next room, she gasped as she saw the source of the glow. Lying on the ground was a ghost! Twilight gasped but didn't run away. She slowly approached the ghost.

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

Twilight noticed that this ghost was not actually sleeping, but instead say 'Z' over and over.

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Are they gone yet? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

Twilight was not right next to the ghost, and she realized that the Ghost was blocking the way into the next room. Twilight attempted to squeeze past the ghost, but instead accidentally started a battle with him.

"Oh... hello." the ghost said, still keeping his expressionless face. His eyes were open, but everything about him looked like he was sleeping. "I'm Napstablook..."

"I-I'm Twilight," Twilight said, nervous on how this was about to go. For no reason what so ever, Napstablook started crying. "Oh, no, please don't cry!" Twilight said, no longer feeling scared, now feeling bad. Did she say something wrong?

"Uhh, a joke! Jokes always make people feel better!" Twilight said, now racking her brains to remember a joke that Pinkie Pie told her back in Ponyville. "Why are ghosts never invited to concerts?" Twilight said, doing her best impression of Pinkie Pie, "Because all they do is BOO!"

Napstablook stopped crying a little and gave a small smile. "Heh heh. Can I show you something?"

"Sure!" Twilight said, happy that he was no longer crying.

"Here," Napstablook said, squinting his eyes together, "let me try..." Napstablook started crying again, but this time, he seemed happy. His tears instead of splashing against the ground instead went up and started forming a hat.

Twilight was shocked to see this magic. "How is he crying up?" she thought. "And how are his tears forming into a hat?"

"Well..." Napstablook said, looking hopefully at Napstablook. "What do you think? I call it, Dapperblook."

Twilight took a look at Napstablook, who was now wearing a transparent top hat made of his tears. "It looks amazing!" Twilight said, smiling at Napstablook.

"I usually come to the ruins because not many people are here," Napstablook said to no one in particular. "But today? Today I met someone nice." He smiled at Twilight, before disappearing into thin air.

Twilight walked through the space Napstablook was in moments before, and continued on her path.

It didn't take Twilight long to realize what she would do once she beat all the puzzles. Would she need a key? Would she need a secret code? Had she gone the wrong way? Where was she even going? Questions kept forming inside her head until she heard a familiar voice nearby.

"Oh dear, that took longer than I thought it would," Toriel said, from somewhere nearby. Twilight heard footsteps echo throughout the halls, as Toriel came round a corner, and bumped into Twilight. "How did you get here my child?" Toriel gasped when she saw Twilight. "Are you hurt? I should not have left you alone for so long."

"It's ok Toriel," Twilight said, looking up at the much taller goat lady. "But can I ask why you left me alone for so long?"

"Well," Toriel said, "I suppose I can not hide it any longer. Come, small one." With that, she started going back in the direction she came from. "This," she said, pointing to a stone house built into the wall of the ruins, "is my house! Please, come in." Toriel went inside, leaving the door open for Twilight.

Twilight looked the house up and down, then went inside.
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Chapter 4? Maybe? Who am I kidding, I am going to make one no matter how popular this gets. Show your support by liking this story!

Author's Note:

I hope people are enjoying this series!

Comments

[SpectralFury]

As much as I like Undertale and the prospect of a MLP crossover, you may want to revisit how you write this. So far it seems to be simply the game, but in written form, and with Twilight pasted in place of Frisk. She's not really an actor here, but is instead being pulled along by Toriel. Undertale works because the player character is a lost child. It makes sense for that character to allow a mother figure to guide them along. Twilight may have been a bit of a doormat in the earlier episodes, but she is an adult. If this is set after the School of Friendship was established, she has several months or years of princesshood under her belt. She wouldn't just go along with what Toriel said. She could and would make her own path.

You'll want to give your chapters another lookover, I caught at least one "human" in Toriel's speech. As far as the scenes explaining game mechanics, those generally don't work in written media unless the setting is supposed to literally be a video game. If this is, then more power to you, but from a reader's standpoint it makes things disjointed. Like watching a television show, and then an ad comes on about the show itself.

Don't let this discourage you. A story like this can work. I'm just trying to help you avoid a pitfall I see a lot of newer fics do, which is to basically copy the original story, but with a different character in place of the original.

[The_One_Llama]

10347156
SpectralFury, I do understand everything you are saying. This is my first story, and I am not that good with details. I will try to do the following things you said in the coming chapters, but I am not re-writing old ones. When I publish Chapter 4, I will add more detail to it. Thank you for pointing out my mistakes. Let me know if there is anything else in the chapters I need to fix.

-The_One_Llama

[denneylaw]

10347263
Here's a thought. The real Grogar is known in legends as the "Father of Monsters", having allegedly created dangerous beasts that plagued ancient Equestria. Now, assuming what happened after his defeat from Gusty the Great, either Twilight would assume these are the dangerous beasts that hid here after the battle but turn out to be something else entirely, or they really are the so called dangerous beasts and maybe just want peace with ponies maybe? I mean there is a family of goat monsters, Grogar is a goat, it would kinda make sense for a great connection right there. Also, if you could come up with a believable excuse as to why Twilight can't fly out through where she fell down? Maybe, the barrier made her wings not work or something? I dunno, still pretty good so far.