When I look into the future, I see failure.
Six photographs. Six pieces of a mare time forgot. Six parts of her, lost then found again. The scenes they painted called to her, pulling on a yearning to understand that shook her to her core. Luna had to go. She had to find out — was there anything left of her? Or had she truly died, all those years ago on the moon, and been reborn through the fires of friendship? Luna hoped those photos held the answer.
Page generated in 0.341 seconds
Total duration
981 users online
2,595,414 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
When I read this piece, truly I get the impression it was written by royalty.
The lines about the moon being an imperfect reflection of the sun made me choke up, and the numbness Luna describes only amplified this. That she sees the other princesses as much more beyond her, foundations of pony society, and her sister in specific the one being so beyond perfection, she needs another body to truly capture her grace. That Equestria as a result of those three is bountiful, prosperous, and lively, and the solitary figure on the moon is as desolate as one of its craters, indeed, its entire surface. The feeling I get despite this is not one of burning envy or crushing depression but of recognition of facts and the inability to do anything about it. This numb helplessness is its own agony, and you've captured it flawlessly in royal tongue.
Beyond this, the next photo bringing death into the equation, only to be thrown out. In other words, dooming Luna to either change the way she views herself, the world, and her place in it (beyond the view of pragmatic utility) or to live with anchors chained to her heart.
I find myself having finished this story staring into a planetary body of awe. While my own feeble mind had to reread some of the passages here to absorb them completely, absorb them I did. It's not a new subject to analyze the two sisters, but still, I find myself pleasantly dumbfounded that the subject can be explored from infinite angles, yours especially.
I think your bridge metaphor was incredibly divine in its beauty. That one's life is a bridge they're building day by day, and that Luna's is one that remains in tatters, but beyond that, impossible to complete. That is, reach one end. It will be a bridge that extends forever, and as such, will collapse when it goes too far. It doesn't help that this bridge's construction was halted and left to rot a thousand years, a thousand that can never be reclaimed. Adding to this, whenever empty moonlight wasn't mocking her, the source of its light was throughout the building process.
I will definitely have to read this piece again to fully grasp it, but for now, it's stunning in its majesty. I think this is by far the best writing of Luna I've ever read, written in a perfectly characterized voice, in a tone that would be melancholic and devastating with any other writer's touch, but with yours, it's gentle, it's understandable, and it's royal honey to go down with immortal bitter medicine. That is, bittersweet in the highest sense. You've done excellently, and I find myself inspired by you once again. You should be very proud of this piece, as its strength is like the gravity of the moon, but as ripe as the world beneath it.
I said this before so I might end up echoing some of my previous sentiments, but this is truly one of the best Luna character pieces I think I've ever read. You touch on so many beautiful concepts here but you handle them all so brilliantly and so gracefully it's like I'm reading these ideas for the first time. The metaphorical work and comparison of time to a bridge that Luna can't cross was just genius!
The weight of this piece and the expert prose really fits Luna's character so, so well, and the entire atmosphere is brooding and dark, which fits Luna's thoughts almost perfectly. Your writing really does shine here, and this is something that very few writers can probably accomplish. The wandering, brooding nature of this coupled with the brilliance in prose and writing and the in-depth character voice...
It's amazing, and I can't say it enough. Fantastic work, as always!
10580864
rubyyyyy thank u !! ur thoughts r always beyond appreciated. im super happy u were able to glean so much from my writing - it continues to astound me the way words make ppl think !!
I had high expectations for this story. I mean, it was written by you, and Red talked about how good it was to me. Yet still, you managed to completely blow my expectations away. This is so unbelievably good.
10580886
RED thank youuuuu !!!! it rlly means a lot to me that this piece stuck out to u as much as it did. hearing u say its one of the best luna character pieces uve read is like, earthshaking for me coming from u
i dont like the part where they talk
10580916
WISH i make it my goal now to write smthn that disapoints u >:3 but seriously, thank u so much for everything
I am surprised that Equestria had photography a thousand years ago! I would have used etchings or paintings but it's interesting to think of photography having such a long and storied history. It'd be super neat if they stayed with the silver iodide method the entire time and only just recently started to make different advancements in the medium.
I have some stupid nitpicks (the plural of nebula is nebulae and would have flown perfectly with "stain my mane" as well) but they are just that: stupid. This story was gorgeously written and heartbreaking in its empathy. Time is a bridge that I try to not look over the side of. I don't think people (or ponies) are meant to do that.
Perhaps one day we will all be permitted to explore the surface of the moon.
10581158
yeah thats my secret regi : im dumb as fuck :) thank u !! im glad u liked it
This is f'n beautiful. I legitimately got chills while reading parts of this.
10581551
thats the goal!! always nice to hear that the emotional beats landed as well as they did in my head
Aww, poor moon horse. This was some excellent sad.
This was a great evocatively written story, as expected from your works.
This was a fantastic piece, Dawn. This is a really deep, evocative character piece for Luna and I really enjoyed it. The various analogies were great and this was some of the best descriptive imagery I've ever read. I'll second Ruby in saying it feels like it was written by royalty. Nice job, you should be proud of it.
I loved this. You did such a fantastic job. The imagery so beautifully portrayed. The pain so subtle and visceral at the same time. A balance so difficult to achieve and you manage to do it so elegantly, so painfully clear, and in such a beautiful way that I must stop in awe and admire the work.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/215146/pens-and-couches-reviews/thread/459092/never-complete-a-review-in-moonlight
"There is more to see in one square yard of Equestria than there is on the entirety of the moon."
Oof bro this line effed me up a lil
I loved the way you crafted your prose. It reads like classical music sounds: refined, intentional, and achingly beautiful.
This was excellent.
Incredibly well-written and with an immense amount of excellent imagery and phrasing, but also jarringly achronological even by the standards of MLP's setting. Without any alternate lore or another context, the setting of the show's past is medieval and simplistic in ways that vintage photography is very out of place in. It disrupted my ability to fully immerse in it because of how out of place such a focal element was, and that it didn't have a reason for being there when it could have benefited from such in order to patch over the resulting confusion from the choices made for this piece.